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KymmieL

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Good morning (CDT)/  I'm sitting here listening to Bobby Darin (ala DS9).  The person I love the most is in the hospital in a cardiac care unit.  At the moment it doesn't look like there's anything they can do.  All I can do is be there for her and hold her hand.  Trying hard not to drink too much but it's not working.  I'll stop soon enough so I'm sober by 10AM to visit her.  I have nothing but bad ideas about how I'm going to live without her.  She has been so supportive of my transition.

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@LaurenA I am saddened by what is happening. prayers for you and your loved one.

 

 

Well it seems like my wife is slowly adjusting to my transition. I have gotten some Cera Ve for some dry skin. Recommended by my dermatologist. Last night she says if you want smoother skin, let the hair grow on your arms, some woman have arm hair. I call that a win,

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Last night she says if you want smoother skin, let the hair grow on your arms, some woman have arm hair. I call that a win,

Yes I’d take that as a win too.  Got the same comment from my wife a few days ago.  Complained my arms were scratchy and most of my hair is now blonde and thin.

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2 hours ago, LaurenA said:

OMG  Just got a text.  Internal bleeding.  Into ICU

 

-crap-. I'm sorry @LaurenA. I hope she pulls through.

 

Hugs!

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@LaurenA thinking prayful thoughts for both of you this morning - hang in there - you've got many friends here rooting for you both.....

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My partner never ceases to amaze me. Over the last couple of days she's showing concern for my safely when I'm out and about. She didn't worry about it before and just thought I was being difficult by wanting to shop at certain stores. I never explained trans friendly/safe spaces to her because I felt it would have been lost due to lack of understanding. Apparently, given some time, I didn't need to.

 

And it continues....

Since the weather's been disgustingly hot over the last couple of days and I have the desire to get to the point where I never wear jeans in public again I've been doing a lot of window shopping for skirts and dresses. Last Friday, while at work, I found a cute dress and sandals on-line. Not wanting to lose track of them I put them in our amazon cart. Today my partner needed to order a few things.  I was ready to panic when she asked why there was already stuff in the cart. I thought for sure I was going to hear about it (a green mini-dress and wedges) but again it didn't happen. Just a 'can this wait until you paid on Wednesday?'. Then she felt bad about asking me to wait but I had already agreed that waiting 3-4 days won't kill me.

 

I'm just really, really happy we finally got here. I don't think she has any idea how amazing she is to me.

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm just really, really happy we finally got here. I don't think she has any idea how amazing she is to me.

 

I love to hear stories about the amazingness of spouses. ?  I am glad to hear that things are going well for both of you.

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That's so great Liz.  Our spouse's can be so supportive, can't they?  I am thrilled for you both.

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Lauren, such troublesome news.  Stay positive.  I wish you both all the best.  My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

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Good evening 

 

Lauren I’ll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Liz I’m happy for you and the changes happening.  
 

I have to say things went from going well to the brink of total breakdown back to going well again.  Of course she didn’t call me Willow much of the time but I can deal with that.  And if we are out in public, I just ignore the calls to Bill.  

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2 hours ago, RhondaS said:

@Elizabeth Star Your stories give me hope. 

 

A week ago Mrs apologized for being in a 'bad mood...for a year' (came out to her July 2020). 

I'm happy to hear things are getting better for you as well.

 

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Well last night/yesterday was about a low as I could get.  My panic/anxiety ramped up about my relationship and the grief was overwhelming.  I was so unconsolable for hours that I honestly wanted to die and said so.  My sisters and wife supported me through the crisis and after a bit of Ativan I was able to calm down.  The whole family sat down and came up with a safety and game plan for me.  For the record- I don't want to die. It's just sometimes the grief gets to much for me.  I'm reaching out to my psychiatrist today and have an appointment with a different therapist tomorrow to see if he is any better.  If not, I am going outside of insurance to meet with someone weekly until I get a handle on things.  The biggest trigger for me right now is I have a -crap- ton of down time by myself.  I really only have to be at my business about 12-15 hours a week and I have no real friends to just "do things with". all my "friends" are part of my business networking groups.

I'm going to ask my friend who own my favorite fashion consignment shop if I can help out around the place 1-2 days a week, even if I don't get paid.  I love the people there and they love me and I'm really happy when I visit and socialize there so what the hell.  

My sisters and I are going to sign up for weekly dance lessons as well.  

I'm so happy I have so much support and love in my life, including my soon to be ex. Even though we know we can't still be married we still want to be heavily involved in each others lives and continue to love and support each other. I have so much -crap- going so well in my world, I just have to be able to break through those pits of despair and recognize it.

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Hobby groups are great places to find new friends too. It sounds like you really need to just get out and be with people.

 

Dance lessons are a fantastic idea. I keep thinking about pole dancing. I see what it did for my friend Kelly's core strength and I want me some of that. You might even meet somebody you click with.

 

The consignment shop is good too. It sounds like they might not be "go out and do something" friends yet, but they totally could be.

 

Just remember that you're fantastic and we all love you. Be safe. Be glorious. Be you.

 

Hugs!

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Much love to you all, whatever each of you is going through today. 

 

I have a question. Saturday night my husband and I spent the evening with my friend, G (who is cishet as far as I'm aware), and her relatively new boyfriend, P. It was our 2nd time socializing with P. We had dinner, wine, played guitars and sang. Then G had the idea to show us a dance party TV show that they'd been amused by. In the course of watching the show, in an affected Austin Powers voice, P exclaimed about one of the female dancers, "That's a man, baby!" I wasn't even sure which person he was referring to. The comment put me off, and it was getting quite late so I didn't react or say anything. We left shortly thereafter. I am interested in engaging with P if I hear him use that line (or anything like it) again. I was thinking about what I might have said if it were earlier and I were not so tired. I would want to keep it light and not make him feel attacked, particularly because I don't want to create awkwardness for G, and P does seem like a decent dude in other respects, but mostly because I believe in education through loving kindness (a honey rather than vinegar approach, if you will). I had the idea to start by pointing out that just a few decades ago he would have been ostracized by much of society because he's a man with long hair, and that thank goodness we are more accepting of how folks express their gender these days, although we have a lot of room to improve and that he could do his part by widening his personal concept of what a woman is supposed to look like. What do y'all think? 

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Yeah, the humor of the Austin Powers movies puts me off too. Kidding obviously, I get what you're saying.

It does though. Those movies are kinda cringe to me.

 

Anyway, yes, I whole heartedly approve of your plan to educate. I do much the same thing. I explain what's happening and my point of view, then get on with what I'm doing. If he gets obnoxious... well, we'll kill that with fire when we come to it, won't we?

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

Much love to you all, whatever each of you is going through today. 

 

I have a question. Saturday night my husband and I spent the evening with my friend, G (who is cishet as far as I'm aware), and her relatively new boyfriend, P. It was our 2nd time socializing with P. We had dinner, wine, played guitars and sang. Then G had the idea to show us a dance party TV show that they'd been amused by. In the course of watching the show, in an affected Austin Powers voice, P exclaimed about one of the female dancers, "That's a man, baby!" I wasn't even sure which person he was referring to. The comment put me off, and it was getting quite late so I didn't react or say anything. We left shortly thereafter. I am interested in engaging with P if I hear him use that line (or anything like it) again. I was thinking about what I might have said if it were earlier and I were not so tired. I would want to keep it light and not make him feel attacked, particularly because I don't want to create awkwardness for G, and P does seem like a decent dude in other respects, but mostly because I believe in education through loving kindness (a honey rather than vinegar approach, if you will). I had the idea to start by pointing out that just a few decades ago he would have been ostracized by much of society because he's a man with long hair, and that thank goodness we are more accepting of how folks express their gender these days, although we have a lot of room to improve and that he could do his part by widening his personal concept of what a woman is supposed to look like. What do y'all think? 

Austin Powers, how retro. P probably didn’t mean any offense but still has no idea of what’s coming out of his mouth. I feel this is one of those situations where it might be easier just to say dude… not cool. It could go several different ways but in the end you’ll have a better understanding of what kind of person he is. 

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    • Mmindy
      My mother's maiden name is Schwinegruber, and to say that cabbage in all forms of use for our dinner table is an understatement.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
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      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
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      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
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      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
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