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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

@Jackie C. that jacket is so cool.  I want one. but alas, no place to wear it.

 

Kymmie

I would wear that out to go grocery shopping or to the coffee shop!  That is amazing 

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@Kelly2509thanks for all the insights. So, if I dress they way she wants I will probably still look like every other woman around there. I can do that.
 

That jack looks familiar, similar to the one  everyone was looking at last year. 

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10 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

To be fair, a woman in a tux is hot as all get out. 

 

Ahem...(points to their own profile pic). LOL, not that I'm a woman, but just sayin! 😜😅

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17 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Part of what is bothering me is my therapist seemed upset when I mentioned it to them. They literally said "you're a woman, don't do it". At least that's how I remember it.

Well there you go, work with the Therapist and go fem flannel. 
Liz, I really think the two of you will really love your time in Mackinaw.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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On 9/19/2021 at 10:24 AM, JustineM said:

All in all it was a great day. 

That’s great Justine. I’m glad it went well.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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@Lexa83 well I’m glad you found a way to work with your wife.

 

as far as voice issues, I found a voice trainer for my larynx issues that turned out to also work with mtf voice. There is a documented process that is working for me. It involves straw bubbles. Look it up.  
 

Had an appointment with my endocrinologist he wants to see my numbers since I stopped.  If my testosterone doesn’t come back up, I have no choice but to stay on hrt.  Hmm that’s interesting.

 

I do check here occasionally so don’t write me off.

 

Willow

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1 hour ago, Willow said:

If my testosterone doesn’t come back up, I have no choice but to stay on hrt.

 

Some kind of HRT. It's basically to guard against bone loss. You need SOMETHING, doesn't matter if it's E or T for good health.

 

Hugs!

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14 hours ago, Willow said:

There is a documented process that is working for me. It involves straw bubbles. Look it up.

Thanks for the tip. I was needing some tips. I've only used the voice pitch anylizer app for phone so far. I need to do a lot of work.

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Good morning!

 

Mrs., who seems to be gradually warming up to me again, wants me to accompany her to a party with friend of hers I've met a couple times...she told friend that I'm not all that social (true but less so since HRT). Friend says, he can hang out with the guys! I told Mrs that's exactly what I do not want to do. 

 

Kinda don't want to meet new people in guy mode, but also not sure how Mrs will take it if I go in my preferred vaguely feminine attire. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, RhondaS said:

Good morning!

 

Mrs., who seems to be gradually warming up to me again, wants me to accompany her to a party with friend of hers I've met a couple times...she told friend that I'm not all that social (true but less so since HRT). Friend says, he can hang out with the guys! I told Mrs that's exactly what I do not want to do. 

 

Kinda don't want to meet new people in guy mode, but also not sure how Mrs will take it if I go in my preferred vaguely feminine attire. 

 

 

Yeah, i'm with you on this. I'm a long ways from looking fem. Hopefully I can change that soon. Plan to get wig and new glasses soon, next month, I hope. It sucks being a "tweener".

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Tweener..

 

Yeah this got old.  I came out and my past associations stayed behind.  Especially after I separated from Facebook in 2014.  

 

Attempts the past several years to meet new people have been awkward at least.  There is resistance in me to get close to anyone in this tween stage.

 

Hopefully my walls are temporary.  Scheduled for surgeries that WILL change my appearance profoundly. 

Thinking then I'd try the social networks again in search of like interests.

 

Coffee now.

G'day

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1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Yeah, i'm with you on this. I'm a long ways from looking fem. Hopefully I can change that soon. Plan to get wig and new glasses soon, next month, I hope. It sucks being a "tweener".

 

1 hour ago, Maddee said:

Tweener..

 

Yeah this got old.  I came out and my past associations stayed behind.  Especially after I separated from Facebook in 2014.  

 

Attempts the past several years to meet new people have been awkward at least.  There is resistance in me to get close to anyone in this tween stage.

 

Hopefully my walls are temporary.  Scheduled for surgeries that WILL change my appearance profoundly. 

Thinking then I'd try the social networks again in search of like interests.

 

Coffee now.

G'day

My experience is just be you openly and the right kinda people who can appreciate the honesty and authenticity you present will be drawn to you no matter where you are in your transition.  Life’s to short to wait

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1 hour ago, Maddee said:

Tweener..

 

Yeah this got old.  I came out and my past associations stayed behind.  Especially after I separated from Facebook in 2014.  

 

Attempts the past several years to meet new people have been awkward at least.  There is resistance in me to get close to anyone in this tween stage.

 

Hopefully my walls are temporary.  Scheduled for surgeries that WILL change my appearance profoundly. 

Thinking then I'd try the social networks again in search of like interests.

 

Coffee now.

G'day

The people at work work were pretty much my only social life through the years. I was the shop foreman for about 20 years in a sheet metal shop. Been retired for 3 yrs now. I've only seen my old boss and the guy who was hired to help me run the shop since then. It's been lonely.

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1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

My experience is just be you openly and the right kinda people who can appreciate the honesty and authenticity you present will be drawn to you no matter where you are in your transition.  Life’s to short to wait

I hope you're right. 🙂

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Today's the big day. We hit the road in about four hours. I didn't get nearly as much done last night as I wanted so It's going to be a bit of a mad-dash this morning. Besides the all the sight seeing, I really hope we are able regain some of the closeness that's been lost over the last couple of years. And have it be real this time not just the stupid, short lived token changes.

 

I think if anything, the drive itself will be the most helpful. It seems it's the only time we really talk. No phone calls, no TV, no loud music but I still, and probably always will, think that my feeling will be ignored. I just don't understand why it's so hard for her to grasp the concept that she married a woman. Did I lie to her about it? well, yeah, I did. And that seems to be the end her understanding. The hows, whys and decades of lying to myself become irrelevant.  So if I accomplish only one thing over the next couple days, my wish would be for her to finally see and accept me as the woman I truly am. She doesn't have to like it, just accept it.

 

Three and a half hours remaining and all I've done is write and drink coffee.

I really need to get off my butt and do something. First stop Muskegon......here we come.

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I’m a little bummed.  I had plans to go to see the Indigo Girls last night at Wolftrap which is basically a lesbian concert takeover but it was raining all day and forecasted to continue into the show so I didn’t go. We had lawn seats and I am too old for mid and rain concerts anymore lol.  
I was going to meet a whole bunch of girls from one of the Meetup groups I recently joined.   
today started early with a 7am ct scan for my new FFS surgeon. Now gotta drive an hour to drop it off.  
After that I have so work errands then I’m off to DC to have an “ intimate dinner” with 5 other lesbians at a Spanish restaurant. Another “Meetup “ event.  I’m really trying to get out and meet new people.  
then Friday night I’m doing a Meetup with about 50 transgender and CDers at an Irish pub.  I’ve never attended one of their events. DC Area Transgender Social Club.  I’m hoping they are a fun group because they have a Halloween Gala and cocktail party on Oct 30.  I’ve gotten a few rocking cocktail dresses lately that need to be worn!  
Whew, I’m exhausted just thinking about all this. Lol

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Today's the big day. We hit the road in about four hours. I didn't get nearly as much done last night as I wanted so It's going to be a bit of a mad-dash this morning. Besides the all the sight seeing, I really hope we are able regain some of the closeness that's been lost over the last couple of years. And have it be real this time not just the stupid, short lived token changes.

 

I think if anything, the drive itself will be the most helpful. It seems it's the only time we really talk. No phone calls, no TV, no loud music but I still, and probably always will, think that my feeling will be ignored. I just don't understand why it's so hard for her to grasp the concept that she married a woman. Did I lie to her about it? well, yeah, I did. And that seems to be the end her understanding. The hows, whys and decades of lying to myself become irrelevant.  So if I accomplish only one thing over the next couple days, my wish would be for her to finally see and accept me as the woman I truly am. She doesn't have to like it, just accept it.

 

Three and a half hours remaining and all I've done is write and drink coffee.

I really need to get off my butt and do something. First stop Muskegon......here we come.

I hope you can achieve the closeness again. Have a great trip.

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1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

I’m a little bummed.  I had plans to go to see the Indigo Girls last night at Wolftrap which is basically a lesbian concert takeover but it was raining all day and forecasted to continue into the show so I didn’t go. We had lawn seats and I am too old for mid and rain concerts anymore lol.  
I was going to meet a whole bunch of girls from one of the Meetup groups I recently joined.   
today started early with a 7am ct scan for my new FFS surgeon. Now gotta drive an hour to drop it off.  
After that I have so work errands then I’m off to DC to have an “ intimate dinner” with 5 other lesbians at a Spanish restaurant. Another “Meetup “ event.  I’m really trying to get out and meet new people.  
then Friday night I’m doing a Meetup with about 50 transgender and CDers at an Irish pub.  I’ve never attended one of their events. DC Area Transgender Social Club.  I’m hoping they are a fun group because they have a Halloween Gala and cocktail party on Oct 30.  I’ve gotten a few rocking cocktail dresses lately that need to be worn!  
Whew, I’m exhausted just thinking about all this. Lol

Wow, you're a busy gal. I've never been that social. I want to be a lot more than I am, hopefully it will come.

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

She doesn't have to like it, just accept it.

 

My spouse and I had a bout of this, there was a lot of, "You make a better woman than *I* do." I think on some level she's still convinced that I'm going to run off with a younger woman. I'm not sure why she thinks that. I mean, what would we talk about? She was upset to hear that I'm not cleared for intercourse for the next two months, so I'm taking that as a good sign.

 

@Bri2020, I did the same thing you did. I've been joining every LGBTQ+ meetup group in my area that will have me. Super warm welcome from the late in life lesbians crew and I'm having a thing with another group Saturday night, then a dinner party next Friday. Busy busy. With my social anxiety, I am both elated and terrified.

 

Hugs!

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3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

 

My experience is just be you openly and the right kinda people who can appreciate the honesty and authenticity you present will be drawn to you no matter where you are in your transition.  Life’s to short to wait

You are right.

Life is too short to wait.  Which is why I have taken action and  put myself out there authentically and consistently.

 

@Jamie68

 Work is totally my social life.  I take any overtime I'm offered.  Bring around people has saved me after so much social distance.  I get along well with almost everyone there.  I think I'm well liked.  Guess I'm just hoping for more, like people including me in conversations or even out-of-work activities.  It will happen.  I am not young but am  learning and growing.😊

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3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Did I lie to her about it? well, yeah, I did. And that seems to be the end her understanding. The hows, whys and decades of lying to myself become irrelevant.

Oh yeah, I've had a lot of this myself.  Didn't seem to matter that I was telling myself if was just a phase like some kind of mantra and trying to push it away and that in doing so I was causing myself a lot of problems, it all boiled down to the fact I didn't tell her up front 20 years ago...  In the meantime I've been doing the best I can to show her that the "whole" me is a better partner than the "partial" me she had married.

 

I hope you have a fun trip!

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3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 but I still, and probably always will, think that my feeling will be ignored. I just don't understand why it's so hard for her to grasp the concept that she married a woman. Did I lie to her about it? well, yeah, I did. And that seems to be the end her understanding. The hows, whys and decades of lying to myself become irrelevant.  So if I accomplish only one thing over the next couple days, my wish would be for her to finally see and accept me as the woman I truly am. She doesn't have to like it, just accept it.

 

Liz, that is my wish too. I think deep down my wife is afraid of being seen as a lesbian. She said that she may be able to accept and live with me as a woman. After a few years apart but she did really know.  If the big D ever comes that is it for us. I think the only time I will see her is when she is put in the grave. If she goes before me. I don't know. My emotions are on overdrive again.

 

Kymmie

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On 9/22/2021 at 3:39 PM, Willow said:

I do check here occasionally so don’t write me off.

Willow, we would never write you off. Your valued insight on life is priceless.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋🏳️‍🌈🦄

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