Good morning All. Coffees on.

[LindaMarie]

6 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Looking to buy a wig. These are the ones My spouse and I liked.

 

6 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Looking to buy a wig. These are the ones My spouse and I liked.

I have a wig new in the box never worn. Matches some of these. If interested message me here  and I'll send you it for free, cost me $180. but I'll never wear it. 

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

In other news, these two cuties hatched this morning.

 

So cute! I don't think I've seen a butterfly up here in FOREVER. Gypsy moths? Cabbage moths? Even the occasional luna moth, but I haven't seen a butterfly in ages outside the zoo.

 

6 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Looking to buy a wig.

 

I think you're overlooking the value of having modular hair: Buy them all and rotate them depending on your mood. Also, don't forget wig heads. I personally prefer these: 

 

Wig Stands

 

Because they make the drying out after washing go faster. They're also very portable which is a bigger plus than I thought it would be.

 

Hugs!

[LindaMarie]

@Jamie68 I have never worn this wig. Bought it last year new, $180. If interested I'll send it to you at no cost.

I'll never wear it. 

LM

 

 

[Jamie68]

3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

So cute! I don't think I've seen a butterfly up here in FOREVER. Gypsy moths? Cabbage moths? Even the occasional luna moth, but I haven't seen a butterfly in ages outside the zoo.

 

 

I think you're overlooking the value of having modular hair: Buy them all and rotate them depending on your mood. Also, don't forget wig heads. I personally prefer these: 

 

Wig Stands

 

Because they make the drying out after washing go faster. They're also very portable which is a bigger plus than I thought it would be.

 

Hugs!

Thanks.

[Willow]

@Jamie68 personally I like the first two and I think they will be better for someone that isn’t up on styling.

 

willow

[LindaMarie]

Wigs. So much involved when picking one out. Then the care, and of course as Jackie said get a wig head for it.

You will need it. 

I mean gosh, you can't or at least I couldn't style it on my head. Totally lost when it comes to wigs.

LM❤️

[Willow]

I have had several.  The one I liked most wore out.  The latest, I can’t style.  Its supposed to be a curly messy style but I find the simpler the better.  I paid to much not to wear the newest one.

 

wash in your bathroom sink with baby shampoo and then use a conditioner. Brush out any tangles and allow to dry with tweaks to the styling while still wet.  NO hairdryer or curling iron unless its made from. Human hair and them read the precautions carefully.

 

Willow 

[LindaMarie]

I could never get the right look from them. They look so nice on others, but I freak out

when I look in the mirror.

I've only had 3 wigs, all not cheap.

Fist two I sent to sisters in need a few years back, now my third wig is on its way.

LM❤️

 

 

 

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning everyone. Hope you all have a great day.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. What started it was my therapist asking about my relationships both past and present. After the fact, (it usually takes a day or two for things to sink in) I realized that I tend to focus on what is currently bothering me. It didn't paint a very good picture of my partner which brought into question how supportive she really is. She has several times drawn a line in the sand of what she would tolerate and then stepped over it. Looking back some of these steps had to be pretty hard for her but she still did them. Work isn't much different. Due to the nature of the business they could have done things by the book and yet they have accommodated and supported me as well even when I was walking a very thin line. I feel I need to be more mindful of these things.

 

 

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning everyone. Hope you all have a great day.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. What started it was my therapist asking about my relationships both past and present. After the fact, (it usually takes a day or two for things to sink in) I realized that I tend to focus on what is currently bothering me. It didn't paint a very good picture of my partner which brought into question how supportive she really is. She has several times drawn a line in the sand of what she would tolerate and then stepped over it. Looking back some of these steps had to be pretty hard for her but she still did them. Work isn't much different. Due to the nature of the business they could have done things by the book and yet they have accommodated and supported me as well even when I was walking a very thin line. I feel I need to be more mindful of these things.

 

 

It's easy to overlook what someone else is going through when you're dealing with your own stuff. I think it's good to pause and try to see through their eyes. It's enlightening. Gives you a new appreciation for them. I'm bad at this myself. Tend to notice the spot on the floor that was missed instead of noticing the much larger area that was cleaned to perfection.

[Vidanjali]

Another new baby butterfly this morning. Chrysalises show up in the darndest places. The top picture is my husky "guarding" the chrysalis who chose the rather precarious location of the pool railing. I relocated the butter to a tree branch to prevent her from falling in the pool. 

 

[Ivy]

This is such a cool hobby.

[Confused1]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

It didn't paint a very good picture of my partner which brought into question how supportive she really is. She has several times drawn a line in the sand of what she would tolerate and then stepped over it. Looking back some of these steps had to be pretty hard for her but she still did them. I feel I need to be more mindful of these things.

 

Our partners either have to leave us or go along out of love. They have to transition right along with us. I had bottom surgery and am transitioning to more androgynous appearance. I started thinking yesterday about what this has been like for my wife and it brought me to tears. She has had to cross some of those lines and yet is still with me.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[Kara Zor-El]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning everyone. Hope you all have a great day.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. What started it was my therapist asking about my relationships both past and present. After the fact, (it usually takes a day or two for things to sink in) I realized that I tend to focus on what is currently bothering me. It didn't paint a very good picture of my partner which brought into question how supportive she really is. She has several times drawn a line in the sand of what she would tolerate and then stepped over it. Looking back some of these steps had to be pretty hard for her but she still did them. Work isn't much different. Due to the nature of the business they could have done things by the book and yet they have accommodated and supported me as well even when I was walking a very thin line. I feel I need to be more mindful of these things.

 

 

Just curious, when you say "brought into question how supportive she really is" is it that the therapist was saying perhaps she's more supportive than you had painted the picture? Or that after you painted the picture the therapist suggested shes not as supportive as you thought she was?

 

 

[Vidanjali]

1 hour ago, Confused1 said:

 

Our partners either have to leave us or go along out of love. They have to transition right along with us. I had bottom surgery and am transitioning to more androgynous appearance. I started thinking yesterday about what this has been like for my wife and it brought me to tears. She has had to cross some of those lines and yet is still with me.

 

Unfortunately, there are also loads of partners who are somewhere in limbo, neither leaving nor concertedly working on loving acceptance for any number of reasons: fear, complacency, codependency, financial insecurity, etc.

 

Those with partners who are able to lovingly transition with us are immensely blessed. Nonetheless, I believe it's quite rare for this to be a smooth ride. 

 

My partner and I have recently gotten through a major bump. I honestly didn't know whether we'd stay together. It's good to keep in mind that whatever we're struggling with, the struggle is similarly difficult for our partner. For me, I just really wished he could see and love the me that's always been there, regardless of my appearance and presentation. From his perspective, for instance, one day he told me that although he realizes it sounds immature, he feels that LGBT+ has "stolen his wife". Mercifully, we've gotten through this recent very rough chapter. It took a lot of patience, courage, and careful communication. He's even making an effort now to pay attention to his instances of misgendering me. Baby steps. 

 

[LindaMarie]

When I came out to my wife and started dressing up I became the other woman, the one that took her husband away.

Yep, the other woman syndrome. When she got over that, things started working out for the both of us.

LM.

[Elizabeth Star]

2 hours ago, Lexa83 said:

Just curious, when you say "brought into question how supportive she really is" is it that the therapist was saying perhaps she's more supportive than you had painted the picture? Or that after you painted the picture the therapist suggested shes not as supportive as you thought she was?

 

 

She’s being a lot more supportive than it appears. Because she is still struggling with using my legal name and pronouns that’s what my therapist focused on but there has been a lot of acceptance on the backside that I didn’t express. She’s now OK with seeing me in dresses and skirts. Has given me some of her clothes that don’t fit anymore. Even bought me a dress. She critiques my other outfits instead of criticizing them. When we moved (before my name change) and changed pharmacies she took it upon herself to tell them what name to use with me. Out in public, she’ll hold my hand and keeps an eye out for any possible trouble. The list goes on and on. 

[Kara Zor-El]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

She’s being a lot more supportive than it appears. Because she is still struggling with using my legal name and pronouns that’s what my therapist focused on but there has been a lot of acceptance on the backside that I didn’t express. She’s now OK with seeing me in dresses and skirts. Has given me some of her clothes that don’t fit anymore. Even bought me a dress. She critiques my other outfits instead of criticizing them. When we moved (before my name change) and changed pharmacies she took it upon herself to tell them what name to use with me. Out in public, she’ll hold my hand and keeps an eye out for any possible trouble. The list goes on and on. 

?

[Willow]

@Lexa83  @Elizabeth Star wIves are certainly struggling with us.  My wife says she will never be happy about me being TG, but there are times when she will joke with me about something related, or suggest something.  Other times she’ll get upset if I point out something cute or nice. 
 

sometimes she is jealous because I can wear things she can’t or I can wear her tops.  But she really hates my boobs.

 

willow

 

[Willow]

So we are on the boat.  It’s been raining most of the afternoon.  Now it’s getting windy.  We are reasonably protected here but the storm that hit California and tornadoes in the south is here tonight.  Storms are not the best time to be on a sailboat with an aluminum mast sticking 45 feet up.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

sometimes she is jealous because I can wear things she can’t or I can wear her tops.  But she really hates my boobs.

 

I've been there. My spouse is very supportive, but she gets irritated when I look better in something or it fits me better than it does her.

 

Hugs!

[Becoming Diana]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

So we are on the boat.  It’s been raining most of the afternoon.  Now it’s getting windy.  We are reasonably protected here but the storm that hit California and tornadoes in the south is here tonight.  Storms are not the best time to be on a sailboat with an aluminum mast sticking 45 feet up.

Yikes!  I've been on a small boat in choppy waters.  It's not fun.  I hope you make it back to dock safe and dry.

[rachel w]

i am jealous  it would be nice to have a special someone in my life now but i dont thats ok i feal if its ment to be it will happen   i would like to find some people to go out to lunch just to talk to in person o well today is a splitting firewood in the morning and then get dressed up and go to the store after lunch

[Guest]

We have to remember that our partners have to come out too. They have to explain it to their friends, co-workers and extended family and that can be as difficult as our coming out. My wife works in a very conservative area and it has been hard on her as the word has spread that she now has a wife instead of a husband.

[LindaMarie]

I've gone as far as I can go on my transition. My wife loves that part, now she is focused on my

physical and mental well being. I'm still me, that will never change.

 

My world didn't collapse over not being able to finish my transition,  but I did almost let it collapse. 

I recovered from that. So now I'm focused back on my instruments and what dress to wear with

each instrument, and does it fit the song.

Gosh, life decisions can be so complicated.

LM❤️