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KymmieL

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4 hours ago, Becoming Diana said:

So that pretty much made my day.  How did your day go?

That is a good day Diana,

 

My day was a good day as well.

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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Lots going on here today.

 

I've been debating on my options for bottom surgery. I am still a ways off from having to decide but still thinking about it. Since I have no "real" desire to ever be with a man I don't see a reason to go for the gold. If my desires were to ever change I'd make things work with what I have.

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Was sick on my couch for a couple days (I don't do illness well) with a grab bag of random mild flu symptoms, hopefully not covid but may be possible, but self-medicated enough to make it to work. At the same time, going through last-minute pre-HRT jitters (5 days until I see the Endo). Going to keep moving forward.

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9 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Lots going on here today.

 

I've been debating on my options for bottom surgery. I am still a ways off from having to decide but still thinking about it. Since I have no "real" desire to ever be with a man I don't see a reason to go for the gold. If my desires were to ever change I'd make things work with what I have.

I've thought about this also. It is very likely that my wife passes before me because of all her health problems. If she does, I will be wanting to be with a man. That may never happen. Is it really worth all the maintenance to be able to have sex as a sis woman if it may never happen? That's a tough one to answer. As it stands right now, I say yes. I may feel differently down the road.

Jamie.jpg

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Good morning. A little sugar and a splash of milk in my coffee.

 

I finally broke down and asked my partner why it is that she wants me to still have guy friends and why does she trust me with them? She stated that she's not worried because she knows I am attracted to women. In that I think I may have found the crux of her current issue with acknowledging me. Despite her supportiveness, part of her still sees me as a man because I like women. I need to find a way to correct this. I know I could just get "caught" playing with a man then there would probably be no question in her mind but it would be a hard slap in the face to my values and beliefs.

 

Moving on......

 

I have plans to meet an old friend for lunch today. I haven't seen her IRL in almost 30 years. I playfully refer to her as my stalker but there might be some truth to it considering the effort she went through to contact me. She wants to go shopping with me and get our nails done. I was supposed to have my first time manicure experience with my partner but for some reason (even though we live together) our plans kept falling through and my partner went a few days ago and got her done without me.

 

Last night, I had to make a run to Home depot. We're (really just me) doing some light remodeling and I needed a couple more boxes of tile. I couldn't find what I was looking for so I found the closest employee and asked for help. We managed to find it and by then I had 2 guys helping me. I kind of felt bad watching one of the guys struggle loading boxes in my cart that I could've done without issue but I felt more at ease being the weak helpless woman while I watched him work.

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 I kind of felt bad watching one of the guys struggle loading boxes in my cart that I could've done without issue but I felt more at ease being the weak helpless woman while I watched him work.

 Just standing there, watching and looking pretty is work, hun. That's part of the deal. lol

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2 hours ago, stveee said:

self-medicated enough to make it to work.

Good morning stveee,

 

Like you I'm an early symptom self-medicating person, the tough thing is know when you really need a med-check for professional help. Back in 2009 I self-medicated my way into double pneumonia, and up until my bought with COVID-19 it was the sickest I've ever been. Be careful and don't jeopardize your surgery dates. Get well soon!

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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22 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Holy poo. There's a handout. Here you go: No, really, there's a handout.

That looks like a fairly comprehensive catalog. It stops a the letter “T” though. Maybe U through Z could be used for dome of the non binary gaps you mentioned!?

 

There seems to be some strong sentiments of repulsion towards men or men parts the past couple of days. The catalog covers sexual attraction but not sexual repulsion. Is that also part of the identity lexicon or should it be?

 

im wondering how trans men might feel reading expressions of disgust rather than expressions of preference?

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3 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I've thought about this also. It is very likely that my wife passes before me because of all her health problems. If she does, I will be wanting to be with a man. That may never happen. Is it really worth all the maintenance to be able to have sex as a sis woman if it may never happen? That's a tough one to answer. As it stands right now, I say yes. I may feel differently down the road.

Jamie.jpg

I’ll start my SRS paperwork in February. I too am primarily attracted to women but I want full depth. I don’t think I’d be satisfied with just partial. There’s a part of me that wants to explore the other nuances of myself.

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2 hours ago, AgnesBardsie said:

There seems to be some strong sentiments of repulsion towards men or men parts the past couple of days. The catalog covers sexual attraction but not sexual repulsion. Is that also part of the identity lexicon or should it be?

 

Dunno. I can tell you that men gross me out. I don't like the way they smell. I don't like the idea of their genitals, though that could be internalized dysphoria talking. I don't especially like the way they treat my sisters or how they approach life. In my head, they're about the same as horses or cows: Good for some things if closely monitored, but they shouldn't be left to their own devices or they start breaking stuff.

 

Again though, that could be the dysphoria talking because I absolutely HATED my role as a man. It was like a itchy, wooly sweater. It didn't fit right and it had me scratching myself bloody every day and night.

 

As for my trans-masculine friends, well I like them better. They tend to have more empathy and to treat women more like equals. I still wouldn't find myself dating one, because I'm attracted to female secondary sex characteristics, plus the smell thing, but we can absolutely be friends and I might set one up with a friend. I'm gay as heck though so I'm not really the target audience for trans-men.

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Erica Gabriel said:

There’s a part of me that wants to explore the other nuances of myself.

Erica, that's a great way to explain it.

You know you'll be in everyone's prayers, and positive wishes as you reach this life goal.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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Good very late morning, and if I don't type this fast enough it will be afternoon here in EST USA.

 

The coffee was HOT, black, and strong. We're getting our first real snow of the year here in Central Indiana, and the cats are loving the extra activity at the Bird Feeders.

 

Make the best of your day, tomorrow is MONDAY!

If you're retired you don't care.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

In my head, they're about the same as horses or cows: Good for some things if closely monitored, but they shouldn't be left to their own devices or they start breaking stuff.

I tried flipping the script on this, imagining if a cis person said this about a trans person or a male said it about a female. It sounds kind of harsh.

 

I looked up misogyny in Wikipedia which is the hatred of women or considering them as inferior creatures. Here’s what it said…

 

Misogyny can be understood both as an attitude held by individuals, primarily by men, and as a widespread cultural custom or system. The hatred associated with misogyny is one-sided; there is no widespread counterpart practice of misandry, the hatred of men.[2]

In feminist thought, misogyny also includes the rejection of feminine qualities. It holds in contempt institutions, work, hobbies, or habits associated with women. It rejects any aspects of men that are seen as feminine or unmanly. When directed against LGBT people, it may take the forms of homophobia and transmisogyny. Racism and other prejudices may reinforce and overlap with misogyny.

 

interestingly enough, it says misandry the hatred of men, doesn’t exist as such. So technically it sounds like feelings of repulsion and considering men like livestock not to be trusted is supported by Wikipedia.

 

on the other hand an expression of this sort within earshot of the bullpen is likely to generate some snorting and some broncos with broken bones. Could add fuel to transphobia is what I mean.

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1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

on the other hand an expression of this sort within earshot of the bullpen is likely to generate some snorting and some broncos with broken bones. Could add fuel to transphobia is what I mean.

 

I mean sure if it was a trans thing, but I know plenty of cis (and straight) women who think the same way so... I dunno.

 

Hugs!

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On 11/13/2021 at 12:53 PM, KymmieL said:

I have been thinking am I truly transgender.  Then I  look back just a few year ago.  And wonder why I started self medication to grow breasts if I was just a crossdresser. 

 

Kymmie 

Well, me having breasts isn't really too much a significance, they're just something that goes with the total package. I'd like them to be aesthetic and proportional and not much of a fuss to go braless if I want.

Of course, I was bottle-fed, too if there's any Freudian context..

 

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So I had a talk with my wife over lunch today.  It started with her asking about my wanting to be a female on our cruise.  Of course I can’t do that on the days we will be in port sine I don’t have.a gender marker change. I told her I tried to go with out being a woman, but just like all those times I had tried before, it didn’t work.   She wanted to know about dinner that night and I said yes I wanted the entire day.  She accepted that.

 

so I’m sitting on the deck of our boat it’s a little cool especially it a slight breeze kicks up.  I’m waiting for the tide to come up and then I’m going to untie the lines disconnect shore power and water, and see how it reacts to being back on diesel power instead of the outboard ive been using for the past two years.  We talked about our schedules for the next couple of months and are placing them on a common calendar.  We also talked about sailing down to Florida when we can after my surgery and the cruise.  She really surprised me with that one.  I thought she was dead set against that. But I think what is changing her mind is the chilly weather.  Our water heater is isn’t capable of heating water more than 50 to 60 degrees max.  That would be a first for me too.

 

Willow

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1 hour ago, Willow said:

Our water heater is isn’t capable of heating water more than 50 to 60 degrees max.

Willow, I'm glad she seems to be coming around, to be more comfortable with your current, and future presentation.

 

As for the water heater... Why is it only reaching 60 degrees? Are you using Celsius as a degree of measurement?

 

Hope you have a great run on diesel.

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

As for the water heater... Why is it only reaching 60 degrees? Are you using Celsius as a degree of measurement?

 

OK, so that's not just me. 60 is COLD anymore.

 

Hugs!

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21 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

OK, so that's not just me. 60 is COLD anymore.

The average temperature of the water coming out of your community fire hydrants is 55° F. If we're talking 60° C then your water would be scalding hot at an equal temperature of 140° F.

 

With camping or shipboard fresh water being at a premium, you want to use the least amount of water possible when showering, or cleaning up.

Navy shower = wet yourself down, lather up, rinse step out and towel off.

Air Force shower = take your time the water-heater/boiler has an endless amount of water.

 

To be fair, I've never served in the military. However in the last 22 years I've done a lot of DoD work teaching on military bases all across the lower 48, and see the differences.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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2 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Navy shower = wet yourself down, lather up, rinse step out and towel off.

Air Force shower = take your time the water-heater/boiler has an endless amount of water.

Hey easy on there! I’m ex Air Force. I resemble that remark! LOL

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1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Hey easy on there! I’m ex Air Force. I resemble that remark! LOL

?????

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I found my old work ID this morning. Looking at the handsome man in the photo brought some sadness. He did well, was strong and youthful for his age, fathered 3 daughters, was well liked and respected. I showed the ID to my wife and she told me it was hard for her to look at and I agreed. I mourn the passing of this man but am happy he finally removed the mask of masculinity and began the metamorphosis into her true self. She is much happier and balanced now.

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2 hours ago, Erica Gabriel said:

I mourn the passing of this man but am happy he finally removed the mask of masculinity and began the metamorphosis into her true self. She is much happier and balanced now

Erica, your picture that you posted on What are you wearing, show a wonderful start of the metamorphosis. It’s a great description of the process emotionally and physically. That’s why I put the caterpillar and butterfly in my signature. This picture is how I visualize the people here on TransPulseForums.
 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

6707A435-F158-49C3-AC3B-AC8F48C890D2.jpeg

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1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

Erica, your picture that you posted on What are you wearing, show a wonderful start of the metamorphosis. It’s a great description of the process emotionally and physically. That’s why I put the caterpillar and butterfly in my signature. This picture is how I visualize the people here on TransPulseForums.
 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

6707A435-F158-49C3-AC3B-AC8F48C890D2.jpeg

I have a butterfly pendant that I often wear. I also have a phoenix pendant that is also appropriate, but I really need to feel the fire in order to wear it.

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    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
    • Willow
      Both of my parents were from the “North Shore” of Boston.  My mother Lynn and my father Swampscot.  They had an early 1900s Scots-Irish New England diet.  My sister and I were born in the 40s in Ohio well away from New England seafood and in an area where food was more German and Polish.  My first experience with liver and onions was during basic training.  They ate salt cod but never forced us to eat it same with oysters.  My dad ate oysters but my mother wouldn’t.  Anyone who ever ate an oyster can figure that one out.  I grew up eating lamb.  My wife won’t touch it. I love brazed ox tail, again no way. And the list goes on.  
    • KathyLauren
      My mother was German, so yes, I think it was a cultural thing.  If I'd known you when we were cleaning out my mother's place, I could have sent you her "threat jar". 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been taking it real easy.Another good neighbor of mine and his 15 year old son came over and cut down a couple dead trees on my property.Knew not to do it taking it easy.I had them put the wood near my fire pit in the back yard.Did it and happy where they put it.They knew I had stents put in and needed to take it easy
    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
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