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KymmieL

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Scotch eggs be the bomb. I roll them in oats and bake. If you are being traditional you would fry them. 

 

Well, I am all moved into my apartment. I had a girl friend come over the first night and made her dinner. She kept me distracted and did a little unpacking with me. It was rather nice to have someone here my first night by myself.  It is really an adjustment. 55 years on this earth and while I've spent nights on my own, I've never lived on my own.  I always knew I was an extravert but this really hammers it home. I am just so used to having some human around pretty much all the time. The quiet is deafening. 

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Made a call to scheduled a consult for top surgery on Tuesday. I know it's only Thursday morning but the wait for a call back is driving me crazy. Also still waiting for the letter from my therapist. She said she would get it to me by next Friday.  Part of me wants to say I'm being impatient and I probably am. I can't help the feeling of urgency to start moving forward again.

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13 hours ago, Davie said:

I never heard of a male getting tested for that, but maybe we do too.

 

Actually yeah, men get breast cancer. It's not as common, but you should get tested occasionally or at least do at-home exams.

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Also still waiting for the letter from my therapist. She said she would get it to me by next Friday.  Part of me wants to say I'm being impatient and I probably am.

I know this feeling. I waited 3 weeks for my therapist to finally get the letter to me. Make sure that if you want a vaginoplasty that it actually mentions that in the letter for insurance to cover it.

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Hi,

 

off to get a Covid test for our cruise this morning.  I’ll have to get another one after we get back because of being out of the country.  
 

I think getting mammograms is something of a right of passage, squash or not.  I asked about when I would have to get one and my doctor said not for at least 5 years.  Everyone has a different opinion.

 

depending on the measurement you go by or if you actually have a bra that fits, I would say I am a 38B. That’s the bra and cup that actually fits me even though the chart says I am bigger..

 

I think the change in my hormones is messing with me.  With no T production I reduced progesterone by a third and today is an estrogen shot day.  But I have a headache every morning and feel hot.  It does go away after some Tylenol.  No I don’t actually have a fever.  
 

time to get moving.  I’ll check back later.  
 

Willow

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Well the SHTF  with the wife again, at 210am. Last night to not keep secrets I told her I was going to dress today for my appointment. Her cheerful mood dropped some. then last night I get up to use the restroom and turn up the heat a little. I meet her at the bedroom door. As she makes her way to the bathroom too. She says, we need to talk.

 

So she joins me back in bed. she starts by saying that she thought my gender identity was a midlife crisis. That it had passed. she went on to say that our oldest just let me back into his life and that I may have blew the chance to see my grandkids.  that it hasn't even been a year. My daughter in law may have wanted to let me wait 18 month to 2 years of me not dressing for me to visit them. The she won't lie to him and if asked she will tell him. Oh, Dad has been alright but last Thursday he dressed. I mostly remain silent, I did however tell her that sometimes crossdressers dress.

 

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

 

I get a text first thing this morning from her. Please finish decorating the tree and put away the tree box, I love you. I haven't decided if it will be still sitting in the living room when she gets home or not.

 

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

 

Kymmie

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31 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Well the SHTF  with the wife again, at 210am. Last night to not keep secrets I told her I was going to dress today for my appointment. Her cheerful mood dropped some. then last night I get up to use the restroom and turn up the heat a little. I meet her at the bedroom door. As she makes her way to the bathroom too. She says, we need to talk.

So she joins me back in bed. she starts by saying that she thought my gender identity was a midlife crisis. That it had passed. she went on to say that our oldest just let me back into his life and that I may have blew the chance to see my grandkids.  that it hasn't even been a year. My daughter in law may have wanted to let me wait 18 month to 2 years of me not dressing for me to visit them. The she won't lie to him and if asked she will tell him. Oh, Dad has been alright but last Thursday he dressed. I mostly remain silent, I did however tell her that sometimes crossdressers dress.

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

I get a text first thing this morning from her. Please finish decorating the tree and put away the tree box, I love you. I haven't decided if it will be still sitting in the living room when she gets home or not.

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

Kymmie

I'm sorry to hear this. Being open brings pain sometimes, but if you aren't nothing will change. My therapist tells me to go slow, but to keep gently pushing forward. It's really hard to know when to push and when to hold back. Every situation is different. I hope it gets better for you.❤️

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12 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Scotch eggs be the bomb. I roll them in oats and bake. If you are being traditional you would fry them. 

Well, I am all moved into my apartment. I had a girl friend come over the first night and made her dinner. She kept me distracted and did a little unpacking with me. It was rather nice to have someone here my first night by myself.  It is really an adjustment. 55 years on this earth and while I've spent nights on my own, I've never lived on my own.  I always knew I was an extravert but this really hammers it home. I am just so used to having some human around pretty much all the time. The quiet is deafening. 

@Bri2020 I hear you girl on being alone. When the Ex and step daughter moved to Cali it was hard being in the house alone but I soon realized as I started transition that being on my own was nice in that I didnt have to explain or defend what I was doing in my transition. So a little light in the tunnel.

 

Hugs

Billie.

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3 minutes ago, Billie75B said:

@Bri2020 I hear you girl on being alone. When the Ex and step daughter moved to Cali it was hard being in the house alone but I soon realized as I started transition that being on my own was nice in that I didnt have to explain or defend what I was doing in my transition. So a little light in the tunnel.

Hugs

Billie.

Thanks.  Opportunity for personal growth I guess. I'm lucky in that I've never had to defend my transition, quite the opposite in fact,it's been quite pleasant all around.

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Well the SHTF  with the wife again, at 210am. Last night to not keep secrets I told her I was going to dress today for my appointment. Her cheerful mood dropped some. then last night I get up to use the restroom and turn up the heat a little. I meet her at the bedroom door. As she makes her way to the bathroom too. She says, we need to talk.

So she joins me back in bed. she starts by saying that she thought my gender identity was a midlife crisis. That it had passed. she went on to say that our oldest just let me back into his life and that I may have blew the chance to see my grandkids.  that it hasn't even been a year. My daughter in law may have wanted to let me wait 18 month to 2 years of me not dressing for me to visit them. The she won't lie to him and if asked she will tell him. Oh, Dad has been alright but last Thursday he dressed. I mostly remain silent, I did however tell her that sometimes crossdressers dress.

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

I get a text first thing this morning from her. Please finish decorating the tree and put away the tree box, I love you. I haven't decided if it will be still sitting in the living room when she gets home or not.

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

Kymmie

I'm really tired of our children (or grandchildren) being used as a means to manipulate us into succumbing to how others want us to be. I am screaming on the inside as I read her words to you and feel them resonate with situations with my spouse and own children. I'm just so sorry Kymmie that they are doing this to you, I hope you can, like I have started to, realize that we just need to push on, let whatever pain is going to happen....happen, so that we can start to heal and be our true authentic selves.  Maybe i'm a little more emotional than I should be replying to this, but I'm gonna hit the submit reply button anyways.

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

So sorry to hear about this. Blew your chances!? Wow. That’s twisting a knife. Don’t lose sight in all this that you have needs too. You’re feelings are important too. You need to be yourself in flesh and blood not some artificial plastic image in someone’s mind. If the grandkids go to a decent school they will learn there is a broad spectrum and may end up educating your son! Who knows!?

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4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Actually yeah, men get breast cancer. It's not as common, but you should get tested occasionally or at least do at-home exams.

Hugs!

Thanks, @Jackie C. I'll take it seriously, as I should.

-- Davie

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My wife says to me today, “I think you took no nut  November a bit too far this year.”   
 

At least she still has her sense of humor. 

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Kymmie I am sorry you are still being manipulated. I went through a lot of the same. I still get it once in a while but at this time she gives me the annoyed look but doesn’t say much. 
 

Good luck

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25 minutes ago, Willow said:

My wife says to me today, “I think you took no nut  November a bit too far this year.”   
 

At least she still has her sense of humor. 

 

Oh, that's FUNNY!

 

Hugs!

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3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

 

That's not healthy sweetie. We do not indulge in passive-aggressive battles with our spouse. The fact that she started it isn't important. Sniping back and forth like this isn't good for either of you.

 

She is absolutely in the wrong here. There's no doubt about that. She's taken hostages and is using them against you. There is no reason to sink to her level though. In your shoes, I'd dress like I need to and be done with it. She can accept me or not. If she doesn't, I can find someone who will.

The point being that you cannot live your life for other people. You need to love yourself first. That's your foundation. Everything else flows outward from that. Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. Your spouse sounds like she needs to learn that lesson too. What she's doing to you isn't love.

 

All the love. Hugs!

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47 minutes ago, Willow said:

My wife says to me today, “I think you took no nut  November a bit too far this year.”   
 

At least she still has her sense of humor. 

She's funny, and I hope you're doing well.

 

HUGS,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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10 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

The point being that you cannot live your life for other people. You need to love yourself first. That's your foundation. Everything else flows outward from that. Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. Your spouse sounds like she needs to learn that lesson too. What she's doing to you isn't love.

All the love. Hugs!

@KymmieLyou know you're in the hearts of everyone here, and @Jackie C. has so gently pointed out that we need to take the high road when dealing with our family. You know who you are, and what you need to do, to be that person.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. 

That is my biggest problem. While I do accept myself I can care less about myself,  right now.   I know this is not a good thing to do. 

I am in the waiting room at the VA womans clinic. Which feels good.  One place I know I am accepted.  While the ride was a little chilly  this morning it was great to ride. 

 

Will post up when I get home. 

Hugs to all.

 

Kymmie 

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6 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

That's not healthy sweetie. We do not indulge in passive-aggressive battles with our spouse. The fact that she started it isn't important. Sniping back and forth like this isn't good for either of you.

She is absolutely in the wrong here. There's no doubt about that. She's taken hostages and is using them against you. There is no reason to sink to her level though. In your shoes, I'd dress like I need to and be done with it. She can accept me or not. If she doesn't, I can find someone who will.

The point being that you cannot live your life for other people. You need to love yourself first. That's your foundation. Everything else flows outward from that. Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. Your spouse sounds like she needs to learn that lesson too. What she's doing to you isn't love.

All the love. Hugs!

^ What she said^

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Today was a surprise. Cherry, the president of the Carolina Transgender Society(formally the Kappa Betta) contacted me.

I'm looking forward to meeting her. 

Gosh I'm so looking forward to getting out again. 

 

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When I got home last night my partner needed me to go with her to the dispensary. There’s some regulation that you have to have you ID on the counter when working with the associates. This was the first time we ever had them side by side. My partner noticed and commented about how we look pretty similar. The cashier overheard, stopped for a moment and also looked at the pictures. Without hesitation (probably because we have the same last name) he asked if we were sisters. She just casually replied “no, we’re married”. The poor guy looked so confused. 🤣🤣

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26 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

She just casually replied “no, we’re married”. The poor guy looked so confused.

Fun times

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