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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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Hi and hugs.

 

Relationships were too much of a challenge for my former-gender life.  Being so unhappy I could only attract unhappy and self destructive people to me.

 

More open again now, and hopeful.
To be able to handle the pain, and work, it takes to stay close to other humans. 

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

 

 

@Bri2020 Are you a deep diver a cave diver or what?  I the picture of the side mount tanks.  I am an open water instructor for Naui and SSI.  But I have not paid for insurance for a number of years so I can't actually instruct anymore Not worth the $700 minimum.

 

I think I will look for a different heater.  possibly one that doesn't use electricity.

 

Willow

I'm not opposed to diving deeper depths but tend to keep it above 80'  I don't do tech or caves. I do sidemount primarily because I can haul the tanks to the water separately, then suit up with the BC and camera, walk down, drag the tanks out and hook up in the shallows or while floating.  While it is more gear, each trip is lighter so easier on my back. When I come in, I stop in about 8-10' and completely take the tanks off and swim them in shallower and drop them. They float at that point so I just reverse the steps to bring everything to the beach and back to the truck. If I ever move close to a dive place I will invest in 60 cubic ft tanks to reduce the weight.  Side mount is a great platform for photography too.  I often dive solo to shoot pics so having a completely redundant system is required for self reliant diving. If I'm diving solo and less than 50' I can hang out down there for almost 2 hours. Here's a pic from yesterday of some Vase Sponges at about 60'. These are about 3 feet tall. Some of the bigger ones of this type I've seen.

AB208F1F-3F4E-4658-8150-934FB76ABFA3_1_201_a.jpeg

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I was wondering, if you have a double tank in the back, do you have to 

balance them with the double tanks up front?

 

Like you know, single tank in the middle so left boob doesn't throw you off?

 

 

 

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@LindaMarie 🤦‍♀️  Two tanks side mounted are independent and slung off a heavy duty d ring from your bra straps.  It requires a special athletic bra designed for scuba.  
 

doubles on your back are interconnected although they can be isolated in case one is leaking milk.  They are naturally buoyed up by the special frontal milk tanks.  Now, if you have any serious questions I’ll give you serious answers.

 

@Bri2020 by all rules I can’t dive to any depth any more.  Having had cancer, radiation treatments and now muscle spasms at my larynx, I could easily have a spasm, choke, which would cause me to spit out my reg and we both know the result of that.  When I was instructing, I single dove with a high pressure 100cuft steel tank with an independent 40cuft pony.  That’s as close as I got to tech although I know a fair bit of the theory.

 

at one point in time I had two aluminum 80s 2 aluminum 60s 2 hp steel 60s, 1 hp steel 100.  4 different regulators, my primary was an Apex. I still have one reg, and the aluminum tanks.  My some has all the steel and two of the tech diving rigs.

 

 

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oh wow, didn't know all that.

I'm not a spring chicken any more either.

 

But we be still alive!

❤️

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My thought on just me.

I'm the worlds worse internet person.

Never fitted into groups. Attended many in person groups.

Worked out there, but never worked here, or any other net group.

 

I left many.

So what now? Not sure, I'll let you know when I find it.

LM❤️

 

 

 

 

 

thumbnail_LM zt2011_12 In the Bush (I was looking for that pot of gold).jpg

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Well I got a parking ticket.

Time to move on.

Today26C.jpg

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Other family members knowing I am a crossdresser as well.A couple of my aunts of mine noticed I liked feminine clothing too.I remember getting into their closets too pulling out a pair of their pantyhose and trying it on.Saw I loved it.I was 11 years old at the time and there was something bad,they had boyfriends that would harass me a lot.Good thing was they took care of the problem,the boyfriends were gone.Also reminded me they love me no matter what.Still do and are fully supportive to this day

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Hand jesters. Anyone here practice this?

How do you communicate with others?

I go with my most in your face hand pose...

The Linda!!!

What The F.....you talking about?

 

 

 

Today26D.jpg

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Some trans girls and some crazy gay men I know talk with their hands and it drives me crazy at times.

Looks like they are flailing about.

Do they think that women do this and they are trying to act like women?

I never recalled any women I know waving their hands around while they are talking.

Now subtle hand jestures oh sure women do that a lot.

My second ex would always use that middle finger when she would wave at me.

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54 minutes ago, Teri Anne said:

My second ex would always use that middle finger when she would wave at me.

Too funny!

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Hi

 

1:30 and I’m up. So last night when it was 32 outside it was 58 inside.  Certainly not desirable.  So I went out and purchased another heater.  This one runs on propane and is indoor approved.  We’ll set to the lowest setting it keeps the place plenty warm.  It’s in the 70s in here and is almost too warm.  Note, almost.  😂

 

we bought an electric blanket last November.  The controller for my side stopped working within the first month.  Now the blanket on my wife”s side quit working.  Mean time we have these really nice stadium blankets.  I’ve been using one of them and sometimes had to take it off.  So now we have both on the bed and both are toasty warm.  Should have done this in the first place, live and learn..

 

LindaMarie, nice picture.  You should wear slacks and a blouse more often.

 

Willow

 

 

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16 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

I would never laugh at your mushroom cake, but... yeah. Two layers so you can put frosting between.

 

Hugs!

3 layers. looked ok, but tastes awesome.❤️

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The war on boobs: Day 3

 

When I got home from work I was told to cancel my BA consult. That's not happening so I didn't respond to the demand. I was also asked/told to come back to sleeping in our room. That's not happening either; especially after giving me demands. I don't know if it's the blankets, mattress or what but I'm a lot warmer when I sleep in there and again I have control of the TV. I turn it off when I start to doze off instead of having to listen to it blasting in my ears all night.

 

I've also come to realize that my partner uses gaslighting to get her way on just about everything. The biggest thing is the temperature she keeps the house. At times she has it set to 64 degrees (right now the heat is at 66). when I'm home, aching and shivering i my own house and complain it's too cold, I always get the response that it's not that cold and I'm being over dramatic. I'm freakin' shivering. How am I being overly dramatic?

 

I'm so done with the bs. I've never once in the last 15 (especially the last 4) years pointed out that I'm holding all the cards. I'm the one who working. It was my job and credit that got us our home, It's my insurance that is paying for her meds and medical treatments, I was the one took out a personal loan to pay off her car.

 

I'm so over it. This is the year I regain control of my life and finances. I will have a voice in this relationship. My needs and wants will not be put on the back-burner any longer.

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4 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

The war on boobs: Day 3

 

When I got home from work I was told to cancel my BA consult. That's not happening so I didn't respond to the demand. I was also asked/told to come back to sleeping in our room. That's not happening either; especially after giving me demands. I don't know if it's the blankets, mattress or what but I'm a lot warmer when I sleep in there and again I have control of the TV. I turn it off when I start to doze off instead of having to listen to it blasting in my ears all night.

 

I've also come to realize that my partner uses gaslighting to get her way on just about everything. The biggest thing is the temperature she keeps the house. At times she has it set to 64 degrees (right now the heat is at 66). when I'm home, aching and shivering i my own house and complain it's too cold, I always get the response that it's not that cold and I'm being over dramatic. I'm freakin' shivering. How am I being overly dramatic?

 

I'm so done with the bs. I've never once in the last 15 (especially the last 4) years pointed out that I'm holding all the cards. I'm the one who working. It was my job and credit that got us our home, It's my insurance that is paying for her meds and medical treatments, I was the one took out a personal loan to pay off her car.

 

I'm so over it. This is the year I regain control of my life and finances. I will have a voice in this relationship. My needs and wants will not be put on the back-burner any longer.

Good for you. Once again, I’m sorry you have to go through this and I hope that someday soon you will have someone who will love you unconditionally.

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@Elizabeth Star

Strength and peace to you-as you work through this.  The fact that you have never played that card over the years says good thing about you.

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm so over it. This is the year I regain control of my life and finances. I will have a voice in this relationship. My needs and wants will not be put on the back-burner any longer.

 

Fantastic! You need to stand up for yourself. Self confidence! You're a strong, powerful woman and you should not have to put up with that nonsense. You're an equal partner in your relationship and your happiness matters too!

 

Hugs!

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3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

 

I'm so over it. This is the year I regain control of my life and finances. I will have a voice in this relationship. My needs and wants will not be put on the back-burner any longer.

Good for you.  It sounds like it's past time for it.

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Temp. settings in the house, my wife must have been born in snow storm, she keeps the

house like it is a fridge. 

As far as finances go, for us it is a joint trust thing. We both do our share.

And we are both stubborn butt heads. Strong willed might be a better term.

 

 

 

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I was told to bring my smile to the party.

Kind of hard when your morning starts like this.

But I managed to bring a smile.

LM.

 

Today27.jpg

Today27B.jpg

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For a long while I wondered about being by myself and doing things alone. About 7-8 years ago I was traveling up near Wilmington, NC. I watched this couple yelling at each other back and forth. The one accused the other of never doing what they want, blah, blah, blah...Then the retorts about "that is not true". Then they got in each other's face with finger pointing, posturing, etc. I saw there little boy cowering as he stood next to his grandmother. It was awful to watch, but I thought, "Wow, it is great being able to go where I want, when I want." 

 

I do not envision another relationship at this point in life. Having friends is awesome. Having peace of mind is priceless. 

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4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm so over it. This is the year I regain control of my life and finances. I will have a voice in this relationship. My needs and wants will not be put on the back-burner any longer.

Good for you!! 

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4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

This is the year I regain control of my life and finances. I will have a voice in this relationship. My needs and wants will not be put on the back-burner any longer.

You go girl!

 

Suzie and I agree to keep the thermostat set on 69° F year round. She was an accountant, so managing the bills have always been her responsibility. With that being said, I've always been the larger money maker, so we, sit and go over the yearly, monthly, and weekly budget. All I really cared about was having emergency cash, and walking around money in my pockets. Now that she's retired, and I'm semi retired, the budget is way more important to watch.

 

Since I came out to her, she has said that she supports my need to transition, but not at the expense of her and her reputation. Conditional Support is how I express it, because she totally supports our Gay and Lesbian family members. Just not me. Like you I have been guarded in my approach to the timeline of my transition. She feels trapped because we planned for our future retirement and finances, together. We'll be very comfortable together, but apart we'll be working the rest of our lives, to have extra spending money. So she says my coming out really drug her into the closet with me she just feels stuck. Part of it is feeling like I may run off, in spite of my constant reassurance that I can't see my life any way that doesn't include her. However like you, I need to take a stand for my transition.

 

Other's here have gone it alone. Some have seemed to make the relationship work. I want ours to work, however our spouses want to be gatekeepers regulating what, and when we reach certain milestones. It's truly a shame that our biggest gatekeepers are our own spouses.

 

Hug, you're not alone,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Give your spouse the keys to your gate. You might just find she may enter.

 

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Hi

 

well we stayed plenty warm last night.  The new heater will bake you right out of here.  Today was laundry and grocery shopping day.  Tomorrow is work around the boat day.  
 

Liz, it is very difficult to work through spousal issues.  And it sounds like everything is coming to a head between the continuing smoking and the demands being placed on you without any regard for her own broken promises.  I think we all walk a tightrope when it comes to compromise with our spouse, but sometimes it just goes too far.  And that can be either one.  I know I have pushed something’s too far, but at the same time my wife is also pretty firm on some transgender issues.  Her biggest thing is she doesn’t want anyone thinking of her as a lesbian.  And then there is trying to reconcile her beliefs with what I’m about.

 

I don’t think she will leave me, clearly behind it all she loves me and it would be much harder for her to be alone than for me.  That’s the one card that I hold.

 

good luck

 

Willow

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