Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

My wife and I went out to dinner for our anniversary last night. I thought I was in pretty good fem mode. Wig, dusty rose hat, nail polish, my new Muk Luk boots, black leggings with open laces on sides at bottom, fuzzy sweater, and purse. I thought it was going well till the waitress handed me the check saying "Here's your check sir". BAM!!! What a kick in the gut. I really thought this could be the night where I didn't get misgendered for the first time. What a buz killer. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make a scene and ruin the evening for my wife. On the way home, my wife asked me what was wrong, so I told her. She totally didn't understand it saying, "I thought you didn't care about labels". I had to tell her that I just wanted to be treated like just another woman. She said, "You look trans. You will always look trans". OUCH!!! Again. I didn't expect it from her. I wrote her a long note about what it's like to look in the mirror and hope to see the woman I am, and the disappointment and pain when I see a man staring back at me. I didn't sleep at all last night. She slept like a baby.

Hopefully today will be better. I have an appointment at Hair Club to get my wig styled.

Jamie.jpg

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2007

  • KymmieL

    1636

  • Mmindy

    1351

  • Ivy

    1169

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator
9 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

She slept like a baby.

 

She was up every hour or so screaming? That's appropriate. What she said to you was COMPLETELY out of line. We are not cruel to our significant others.

 

I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone you love sweetie. Give it time. You'll be just one of the girls before you know it.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
3 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

She was up every hour or so screaming? That's appropriate. What she said to you was COMPLETELY out of line. We are not cruel to our significant others.

 

I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone you love sweetie. Give it time. You'll be just one of the girls before you know it.

 

Hugs!

❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning 

 

Jamie, some people just don’t have the sense to know when to either say nothing or try to be accommodating.  Especially wait staff.  They should realize that the tip size could change based on the greeting.  Yes it can certainly make for a buzz kill after an otherwise good meal.

 

congratulations on your anniversary.  Which one was it?

 

Willow

 

 

Link to comment

@Jamie68did the waitress misgender you intentionally? The last time I was misgendered was right before Xmas in a crowded store by the cashier. Talk about demoralizing. 
 

I’m sorry there was a disconnect with your wife. Sometimes it is hard for our loved ones to understand. 

Link to comment

@Jamie68I'm sorry you had to endure that. Especially from your wife. Being misgendered is never a good experience, intentional or not. It's even worse when a spouse doesn't understand or makes hurtful remarks. I agree with what Jackie said--she was completely out of line.

 

And, for what it's worth, you ARE one of the girls. The oustide wrapper is immaterial; it's what's inside us that matters.

 

Hugs

Link to comment

@Jamie68 I'm so sorry you were hurt this way by your wife. I hope she'll read your note and be touched by it so that you two can use this upset as an opportunity to communicate and come to greater understanding. Much love to you. Btw, I'm sure you looked very pretty on your date - I liked your description of your look for the evening. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

I wrote her a long note about what it's like to look in the mirror and hope to see the woman I am, and the disappointment and pain when I see a man staring back at me.

Jamie, I hope writing the long note to your wife was as therapeutic for you as they are for me. Did you give her the note? What was her reaction? Hopefully she will be more understanding in the future. It's one thing to be misgendered by a stranger, and more painful when the people who say they support us.

 

@Jackie C.you're since of humor and timing are on the same track as mine. Anytime I hear someone say they slept like a baby. Reply, "So you woke up every two hours, hungry and wet."

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment

Good morning all. Much love to yous. It was overcast and rainy last couple days as several monarch butterflies hatched. I think some had not fully dried their wings before sunset yesterday, because they were scattered here and there in the yard this morning. My husband and I collected the lingering ones and placed them on this wooly tea bush to dry and enjoy some nectar breakfast. 

20220113_092304.thumb.jpg.c83131fe2bc48fb30d60a5e840baf24f.jpg

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

She totally didn't understand it…

I doubt that a cis person really can.

 

1 hour ago, Willow said:

 Especially wait staff.  They should realize that the tip size could change based on the greeting.

Yup.   Could be a bad move.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, still sitting around in our pjs.  the coffee was good but the cups left something to be desired.  We use disposable cups because our kitchen sink is about 10” by 12”. And no hot water.  I’ll have to do something about that sometime.

 

I have things to do today, but they aren’t earth shattering and there is always tomorrow.  
 

I do realize I am one of the fortunate few.  I rarely get misgendered verbally anymore.  My wife is as understanding as I could ask for.  Last night I was on a high from having had a great day with her.  Told her so more than once.  Oh and all we did was do the laundry and grocery shop.  But we did it together and had no issues of any sort.  All around wonderful day.

 

you have to make the most of them when they occur, you never get enough of them.  And as Jamie expressed, it doesn’t take much to turn a celebration into the worst.

 

find a way to make the most of your day.

 

Hugs

 

Willow

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
42 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

 

@Jackie C.you're since of humor and timing are on the same track as mine. Anytime I hear someone say they slept like a baby. Reply, "So you woke up every two hours, hungry and wet."

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

ROTFLMAO, good one I need to remember that.

 

I think that would be something my wife would say. If I ever went out with her dressed. OH, well. Even if I asked her, I would get why do you need to. SO I don't even bother.

 

I often wonder if people who oppose us being who we are.  Know what we are giving up to become. No offense to anyone. Does anyone chose to be the claimed inferior sex. Chose to put ourselves through the humiliation to become who we need to be. Does anyone rationally chose this path? 

 

 

Hugs, Kymmie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
13 minutes ago, Willow said:

the coffee was good but the cups left something to be desired.  We use disposable cups because our kitchen sink is about 10” by 12”. And no hot water.

Willow,

I'm not from a military background, having served in public safety, with a large number of veterans. I learned not to wash one of the former Navy Chief's coffee cup. They evidently think it superstitious or unwise to wash the Chief's Coffee cup. Swabbing the deck or cleaning shoes.

 

I love to hear about the adventures on your boat, and will miss them once you move into the condo.

 

Hugs

 

image.jpeg.244dd34db23b62bc10cb81637ee150f0.jpeg

656fd48c5efa74af858c34bb3a459b92--navy-chief-military-humor.jpg

Tooth Foot.jpg

Link to comment

@Jamie68 I’m so sorry to hear that happened. I’m now convinced our spouses are related. I’ve been out in public with mine and got misgendered. Her response is always but you’re a guy. You look trans? Been there too. What exactly does trans look like? Judging by what the women around here wear all one needs to do to is put on a skirt to raise suspicion. 

Link to comment

I wear skirts and dresses. I wear make up. how others feel is their problem, I have a life also.

All I can say is don't sweat the small stuff. Bigger problems lay ahead. 

LM

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LindaMarie said:

I wear skirts and dresses. I wear make up. how others feel is their problem, I have a life also.

Don't do the make-up, but skirts and dresses almost exclusively.  I had to wear britches most of my life.  Now I'll wear what I want, thank you.

Link to comment

Oh, and how many here have gone through this?

My wife and daughter are not dress wearers, so when daughter graduated college,

both went and bought dresses. No problem, right? Wrong. They forgot

pantyhose and came to me for them. New ones of course, I think they already

knew I had a stock pile. 

 

Link to comment
6 minutes ago, Jandi said:

Don't do the make-up, but skirts and dresses almost exclusively.  I had to wear britches most of my life.  Now I'll wear what I want, thank you.

I can relate closely. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

@Jamie68 I’m so sorry to hear that happened. I’m now convinced our spouses are related. I’ve been out in public with mine and got misgendered. Her response is always but you’re a guy. 

If I had a spouse who said that to me, as if they did not realize or accept or comprehend who I really was, I would consider this borderline abusive. 

 

And to be blunt, if you are tolerating this kind of stuff, some of the problem is in your court, too. 

I say this with a history of getting married because I was afraid no one would accept me  (I was still in the closet), and called it a "relationship".

What it really amounted to was a co-dependant business agreement, and I paid a heavy price for it: the lesson of self-love, which I would not fully grasp 20+ years later. 

There are people who are attracted to trans women because they think it's cute or something, but when it all boils down, they just see a vulnerable willing victim they can manipulate, a person who will always be unequal.

 

Link to comment

I pluck and trim my eyebrows also, I mean like why not? 

I live the life after all.

Going out is no problem, I just tend to my business. 

LM❤️

Today28B.jpg

Link to comment

Here's another story, when I was told my health won't allow elective surgery, I told

my wife, "I'm no longer transgendered, I'm a transvestite now".

She said, "no you are not, you are transgendered".

My reply was,

"What's wrong with being a transvestite?

LM❤️

Link to comment

I work with the best people. A little while ago my manager came into my office as said he needed to talk to me. He had a concerned look on his face. My first thought was uh-oh, someone finally noticed I've been wearing mini-skirt to work. I went into his office through the back door and he closed it behind me. Then turns to me and says, wait I need another manager, follow me. So now I'm getting really worried especially since I did plow my jeep into my company car last weekend. So I followed him into our warehouse to meet with another manager. As we approached far side of the warehouse I noticed a bunch of my coworkers congregating in an area. OMG! It was a birthday trap! It was so sweet of them. They sang me happy birthday and had bought cup cakes. That in itself would have been enough but they still went a step further by having the cupcakes made with pink, white and blue frosting to show their love and support. Honestly, I don't know if I could have made it this far without them.

Link to comment

Nice story Lizzy. Life can have its moments joy.

Speaking on joy,

Imagen you are a wait staff, serving and serving many people

and oops, you say the sir word to the wrong person?

How do you see yourself, after all this is what they see...

oh, and the tips? I have always left a nice tip. Part of that goes to the kitchen staff.

So which one would you want to serve?

"You talking to me"? or

"Thankyou for your service".

 

 

 

Today28C.jpg

Today28D.jpg

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 124 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Ivy
    • VickySGV
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...