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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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13 hours ago, Willow said:

Hi 

 

Lunch with our friend was really nice.  She was one of the first to fully accept me as Trans.

 

Regarding the trans humor, yes I somewhat felt the various names for our HRT, was mildly amusing.  Did I have a favorite or one I would use.  Not on my life.  At our last group we talked about the need to call ourselves MTF or FTM or put any other name to it.  The consensus was we are either women or men and further description was unnecessary and could be demeaning.  
 

essentially we were saying at times we are our own worst enemy.  I feel these names for HRT medications are also demeaning.  We take them because we need to.  They are part of our treatment to eventually get to wherever we want to be in our future.  What you want and what I want aren’t always exactly the same but that doesn’t matter.  We are all diagnosed as gender dysphoric.    Where I’m going with this is using humorous names for things related to our situation is something we should avoid.  If we can’t talk openly using correct terms how can we expect others to see us as legitimate.  It’s like we are embarrassed.  I am not embarrassed I am who I am and everything about me is important.

 

be proud

 

good luck with your surgeries everyone

 

we are expecting ice and cold weather.  But I’m prepared for it.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

I agree. I am also offended by those who portray us as drag queens or some deviant. We are women period!

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21 minutes ago, SheenaT said:

I agree. I am also offended by those who portray us as drag queens or some deviant. We are women period!

 

I mean yeah, I might be some kind of deviant, but it's not because I'm trans.

 

Hugs!

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9 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

I mean yeah, I might be some kind of deviant, but it's not because I'm trans.

 

Hugs!

EXACTLY hugs

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29 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

I mean yeah, I might be some kind of deviant, but it's not because I'm trans.

 

Hugs!

Well you are from Livionia, LOL. JK.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

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1 minute ago, KymmieL said:

Well you are from Livionia, LOL. JK.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

 

I was gonna say. I've lived here thirty years and the town is just so... straight and white.

 

Hugs!

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38 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

I agree. I am also offended by those who portray us as drag queens or some deviant. We are women period!

 

I mean yeah, I might be some kind of deviant, but it's not because I'm trans.

I try to not take myself too seriously.  I do get a chuckle out of some of these names for HRT, but I still take my transitioning seriously.

If I couldn't see some humor in my life I'd be suicidal.

As for the drag queen stuff, if that's you, go for it.  But leave me out of that please.  Anyone who sees me should be able to tell that's not my aesthetic.

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1 minute ago, Jandi said:

I try to not take myself too seriously.  I do get a chuckle out of some of these names for HRT, but I still take my transitioning seriously.

If I couldn't see some humor in my life I'd be suicidal.

As for the drag queen stuff, if that's you, go for it.  But leave me out of that please.  Anyone who sees me should be able to tell that's not my aesthetic.

Agree

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Agree with @Jandiand @SheenaT completely. I've always kinda felt, and this is not meant to be judgmental, that when we start taking ourselves too seriously we have issues that are more deeply seated than we realize. While I take my transition, and everyone else's transition seriously, I do see the humor in these nicknames. If I can't laugh at myself, I feel as if I'm lowering myself to the level of those prudes and bigots who disparage us all. I refuse to do that.

 

And, yes I know that this is poorly worded--sorry 'bout that--but, I had some difficulty formulating the right words to respond. I also believe, and I include myself in this, that as a society at large, we have become, perhaps too easily offended  nowadays. That doesn't take away from the seriousness of the issue; rather it impedes our ability to discuss it. What I mean is, if we can't get past being offended (this applies to both sides of the issue) and thereby not listen to the other side, then how can we expect to be heard? I realize this opinion may be unpopular, and indeed may be wrong in the eyes of most folks. I just think that regardless of the issue, if everyone would just lighten up we would have far less strife in this world. Hope that makes some sense...

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52 minutes ago, Marcie Jensen said:

Agree with @Jandiand @SheenaT completely. I've always kinda felt, and this is not meant to be judgmental, that when we start taking ourselves too seriously we have issues that are more deeply seated than we realize. While I take my transition, and everyone else's transition seriously, I do see the humor in these nicknames. If I can't laugh at myself, I feel as if I'm lowering myself to the level of those prudes and bigots who disparage us all. I refuse to do that.

 

And, yes I know that this is poorly worded--sorry 'bout that--but, I had some difficulty formulating the right words to respond. I also believe, and I include myself in this, that as a society at large, we have become, perhaps too easily offended  nowadays. That doesn't take away from the seriousness of the issue; rather it impedes our ability to discuss it. What I mean is, if we can't get past being offended (this applies to both sides of the issue) and thereby not listen to the other side, then how can we expect to be heard? I realize this opinion may be unpopular, and indeed may be wrong in the eyes of most folks. I just think that regardless of the issue, if everyone would just lighten up we would have far less strife in this world. Hope that makes some sense...

😉

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27 minutes ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I also believe, and I include myself in this, that as a society at large, we have become, perhaps too easily offended  nowadays.

 

This tends to be my feeling, too. Life's just not living when everything has to be all somber.

 

Of course, personally, I've only ever heard those nicknames in the context of trans people just having fun with cute nicknames for things. I've never personally heard any of them used in a transphobic way (I was surprised to learn that some people here have), so that's where my perception is coming from, for whatever that's worth.

 

In any case, on a related note, I once came across this posted in a different trans corner of the internet. Have to say it's my favorite skittles of all...

 

2144980241_kittyskittles.jpg.960bf28d48fcfcd3ee018aadc12d9043.jpg

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1 minute ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

This tends to be my feeling, too. Life's just not living when everything has to be all somber.

 

Of course, personally, I've only ever heard those nicknames in the context of trans people just having fun with cute nicknames for things. I've never personally heard any of them used in a transphobic way (I was surprised to learn that some people here have), so that's where my perception is coming from, for whatever that's worth.

 

In any case, on a related note, I once came across this posted in a different trans corner of the internet. Have to say it's my favorite skittles of all...

 

2144980241_kittyskittles.jpg.960bf28d48fcfcd3ee018aadc12d9043.jpg

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Hey all,

Post op wasn't too bad and they put a nerve block in the lower half of my face to I don't feel the jaw and chin work at all-YET. My eyes are swelling up but I can still see well enough to type.

That said, I have a massive headache right now. lol

I just wanted to thank all of you for the well wishes. luv you all.

So a little story from the experience:  I had a nurse practitioner anesthetist who was finalizing her clinic hours and was going to sit for the boards in a couple weeks.  Total I had 3 people taking care of my anesthesia, CRNA, and the Trainee and the actual anesthetist. Nice to have 3 people giving you drugs. lol

Anyways, she had to report on all the pre-screening questions to her superior and was misgendering me the whole way through.  I gently corrected her each time (like 5 times). Obviously she was stressed do her report.

It definitely annoyed me and she sensed that.

After everyone left. she cam in and sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand and I could see a little water in her eyes and she apologized profusely explaining I was the first trans patient she had and she me to know how much she really cared for and respected me.  You can tell it was genuine. Felt nice to have had an impact on someone like that.

On the flip side, the nurse assistant, a young black woman who said she was gay was having a great conversation with me about living someplace warm and sunny. I told her I was sunbathing just a week of two ago.  So she goes to put on this padded patch on my tailbone to prevent a bed sore and said, "damn girl, you were sunbathing and still have tan lines on the cute little butt of yours."  I said something along the lines of it wasn't that great, needs some more off it". she again responded, Uh uh- it cute as f#&$ the way it is". I mentioned this might not be a conversation her supervisor would condone. we both just laughed onit.

SOmething I never thought would happen, being flirted with while getting ready to get operated on. lol

Here's my post op pic. I will post one every couple days so people getting ready for FFS can see what to expect. As you can see what little is exposed is just a bit swollen and no bruising yet.  The cheeks are extra swollen because he injected fat into them.

B8D7AC5B-261D-4A7C-9678-FD3265E67641.thumb.jpeg.6077e09a64155f67f7b6856b8ec4116f.jpeg

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@Bri2020 Huge congrats on your FFS! 🎉🎉🎉  And may you have a smooth, swift recovery!

 

Those are such memerable stories about the trainee and the nurse assistant. The latter story is very amusing, but the trainee sounds so genuine! That really takes a LOT of character, imo, to for her to realize how she came across and then open up about it and try to make it right instead of panicking and sweeping it under the rug. In any case, I think it's wonderful for you to have connections and memories like that to associate with such a significant milestone. (I've had general anestesia twice, and don't have any experience like that to relate, but of course, neither of my instances involved anything remotely as meaningful or significant as a gender-affirming procedure! So once again, big congrats🎉🏳️‍⚧️)

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Looking forward to seeing the final results @Bri2020! I'm sure you'll look even more amazing!

 

Hugs!

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4 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

So a little story from the experience: 

I’ve been busy lately just popping in now and again. I feel like I’m reading an unfolding dramatic work, a daily serial like the pickwick papers, but far more interesting and true to life! It sounds selfish to say it, especially since I’m not much of a contributor, but the little victories that pile up every day in the face of heavy odds are very encouraging! I’ve been on this journey a short time, for 9 months, and will be faced with some decisions in the next year or so, and listening in on the conversations, the good, the bad and the ugly is quite reassuring. It’s comforting to know that no one is alone!  

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I have mixed feelings about the name for HRT. I feel that although some of them are cute, they're not terms I would yell across a busy restaurant. I usually just call it my meds but that could just be my age speaking.

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8 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Hey all,

Post op wasn't too bad and they put a nerve block in the lower half od my face to I don't feel the jaw and chin work at all-YET. My eyes are swelling up but I can still see well enough to type.

That said, I have a massive headache right now. lol

I just wanted to thank all of you for the well wishes. luv you all.

So a little story from the experience:  I had a nurse practitioner anesthetist who was finalizing her clinic hours and was going to sit for the boards in a couple weeks.  Total I had 3 people taking care of my anesthesia, CRNA, and the Trainee and the actual anesthetist. Nice to have 3 people giving you drugs. lol

Anyways, she had to report on all the pre-screening questions to her superior and was misgendering me the whole way through.  I gently corrected her each time (like 5 times). Obviously she was stressed do her report.

It definitely annoyed me and she sensed that.

After everyone left. she cam in and sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand and I could see a little water in her eyes and she apologized profusely explaining I was the first trans patient she had and she me to know how much she really cared for and respected me.  You can tell it was genuine. Felt nice to have had an impact on someone like that.

On the flip side, the nurse assistant, a young black woman who said she was gay was having a great conversation with me about living someplace warm and sunny. I told her I was sunbathing just a week of two ago.  So she goes to put on this padded patch on my tailbone to prevent a bed sore and said, "damn girl, you were sunbathing and still have tan lines on the cute little butt of yours."  I said something along the lines of it wasn't that great, needs some more off it". she again responded, Uh uh- it cute as f#&$ the way it is". I mentioned this might not be a conversation her supervisor would condone. we both just laughed onit.

SOmething I never thought would happen, being flirted with while getting ready to get operated on. lol

Here's my post op pic. I will post one every couple days so people getting ready for FFS can see what to expect. As you can see what little is exposed is just a bit swollen and no bruising yet.  The cheeks are extra swollen because he injected fat into them.

B8D7AC5B-261D-4A7C-9678-FD3265E67641.thumb.jpeg.6077e09a64155f67f7b6856b8ec4116f.jpeg

Congratulations on getting FFS. I can't wait to see the final results.

 

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Congratulations, @Bri2020!  May your dreams be realized when the dressings come off.

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No news on my partner yesterday. I don't think either the doctor or nurses felt like talking. Maybe they were waiting on me to ask questions.

My sister who I haven't talked to in almost a year, set up a go-fund-me page to help out but I have other things to worry about and  it's a little over my head but if it's what she feels she can do to help so be it.

 

I think I have a better understand of where I sit on the passing scale. I stopped by one of local shops on the way home last night. The cashier is a young woman with purple hair that I've seen a couple/few times. Apparently they get a lot of questions about a specific product I buy. When I was at the register she turned to her coworker and said (referring to me) they've bought a few of these, do you want to ask her? I think the cashier falls somewhere on the LGBT spectrum, or at least an Ally, so she is a little more tuned-in than most and in her eyes I fall somewhere between enby and fem.

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5 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

No news on my partner yesterday. I don't think either the doctor or nurses felt like talking. Maybe they were waiting on me to ask questions.

 

It's also possible that they're in "wait and see" mode. I'm sure they're doing everything they can to make your partner comfortable and give her the best chance of recovery, but at the end of the day, some of that is on the patient too.

 

7 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I think I have a better understand of where I sit on the passing scale.

 

Sweetie, you look just like my sister-in-law. Cis-people get misgendered too. There's no yardstick that says, "You must look like THIS to be a woman." Our society has certain "standards of beauty" but they don't really matter. People like who they like and love who they love. 

 

Hugs!

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41 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:
51 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I think I have a better understand of where I sit on the passing scale.

 

Sweetie, you look just like my sister-in-law. Cis-people get misgendered too. There's no yardstick that says, "You must look like THIS to be a woman." Our society has certain "standards of beauty" but they don't really matter. People like who they like and love who they love. 

Liz, I understand where you're coming from. You just want to be seen as a woman, same with me. If you'll notice though, it's only us that really gives a crap. cis women don't worry about "passing". I don't wear blue jeans or my Carhart jacket or work boots because they say "male" to me, but when I look at what other women are wearing, they wear all the stuff I won't. If I am honest, I say I don't give a crap what other people think, but I really do. I want to be seen as a woman without any doubt in their minds. Unless I win the lottery, I will never be able to afford FFS or facial electrolysis, and other stuff. The only way I could afford bottom surgery, is with the "max out of pocket" clause in my insurance policy. Apx. $5,500. Now, because of covid I don't even know if that will happen. At the rate I'm progressing on the waiting list it will be another 4 years before they get to my number. I will have to totally rethink my progression.

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Been trying new wigs on lately,medium and short as Holly.Have worn these in the past,were not for me at first.Tried a pixie cut wig on last night and did like it.Wife said I looked good with it on

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I've got a question.

Has anyone noticed that they can't sleep well from taking spiro? I've been on progesterone and estradiol. My levels weren't getting in the zone yet, so my doctor added spiro. Since then, I've been waking up at 1 o2 o'clock in the mornings when my wife finally comes to bed. Then I can't sleep anymore. Any thoughts?

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