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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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Good morning everyone 

 

TGIF!  And I mean that with all I’ve got.  It’s been an up and down week for me, that’s for sure.  

 

The backpacking I’ve done has been along the Appalachian trail.  No camp fires allowed!  So mine has only been used over a single burner hikers camp stove.  Still nothing like a hot cup after a night on top of a mountain.  (And before you say anything about the Appalachians being hills, remember that they are the oldest know range in the world and we’re once believed to be as high as the Himalayan.

 

it’s supposed to be rainy and stormy today, but nice for the weekend.  I’d like to take the sailboat out Saturday, we will have to see about that.  There is a fishing tournament going on as well as the holiday weekend boaters and I don’t want to deal with a bunch of power boaters.  They brought in a blue marlin that weighed nearly 400 pounds yesterday.

 

Otherwise nothing much going on.  
 

Willow
 

 

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9 hours ago, CD Rachel said:

They both told me that they still love me and though they do not understand that this is about my happiness and they want me to be happy.

That's the most important part. They don't have to understand right now, it's a learning curve. Love is the most important part. My son knows about my transition and is extremely uncomfortable with it. He does not want any confusing signals about my gender in front of his three teenage children.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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15 minutes ago, Willow said:

The Appalachians being hills, remember that they are the oldest know range in the world and we’re once believed to be as high as the Himalayan.

I like seeing what hikers start off with and what they drop off as they find out the Ounces add up to Pounds, and Pounds equal Pain. As for the age of the Appalachian Mountains it hard for people who don't have an appreciation for Geology and Plate Tectonics to grasp the millions of years that have shaped our world known as Earth.

 

Good morning, today's coffee:coffee: was brewed in an electric Bunn coffee maker, so it's a good sign that the kick off to Summer is under way. TGIF

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋 

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Morning all.  I've been roofing all week, which is something that I generally won't do because of my back, which I broke after a 3 story fall in my mid 20's.  I do mostly high end finish carpentry but the money was just too damned good to pass up.  Anyway, I woke up today in a world of hurt and was going to take the day off but then I realized I'd just end up sitting at home stewing in my angst, so it's 1200 mgof ibuprofen and off to work I go.     

Also, saw this earlier and had to share.  And no I'm not coming out yet.  Screenshot_20220527-084009_Firefox.jpg.70ce84896ef8c5930ee0f79bc8632a25.jpg

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Soon to hit the road. First stop, Lyman, NE. to drop off things left after my grandsons visit last weekend. Then on to Lincoln. Tomorrow, Cars and Coffee at Speedway Motors. My even have to do shop shopping.

 

Coffee is cooking right now. For a cup on the road.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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8 minutes ago, Ticket For Epic said:

I do mostly high end finish carpentry but the money was just too damned good to pass up. 

Money can cause us to revisit pain. Mine is in my arthritic hands from decades of blue collar work. Now I'm semi retired and building training equipment in my small shop. My doctor mentioned that my hands are nice and soft, then asked. What kind of lotion do you use? My answer was Aspercream for pain.

 

Have a great weekend.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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43 minutes ago, Ticket For Epic said:

   

Also, saw this earlier and had to share.  And no I'm not coming out yet.  Screenshot_20220527-084009_Firefox.jpg.70ce84896ef8c5930ee0f79bc8632a25.jpg

 

Wow love this as that is exactly what I am doing right now!!!

Thanks for sharing this!!

 

~Rachel

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@CD Rachel  My pleasure!   I'm so glad you appreciated it.  And of course...  Best of luck! 

Much luv

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Hi dear friends! Happy Friday to those of you who celebrate Friday, lol. Please forgive me if I already said this, but I've decided to quit my job. I believe I shared that my employer had been giving me the run around regarding disability accommodations. For me, that was the final straw - is it worth it to fight for this job which becomes exponentially more stressful (education in Florida, nuff said)? No. I'm waiting to get paid for something by them, then I'll get the ball rolling on my exit. I do plan to document all the HR shenanigans I've encountered and send an email to the VP of HR, and possibly cc the college President. I'm also considering attaching my lengthy grievance narrative from the official grievance I filed a couple years ago just to give them an idea of what the last few years have been like for me at work. No intention on burning bridges, but it occurred to me that if anything legal-wise comes up later, that it would be helpful to have such documentation. 

 

Since I decided to quit my job, I was flying high on a pink cloud, feeling so happy and creative. Then, I got socked with major anxiety suddenly. It got so bad, I've considered pursuing psychiatric care for the first time in many many years. I think I will pursue this because I want to document the aspect of my ptsd which is related to living with chronic illness because I plan to apply for SSD (Social Security Disability), and the more thorough the documentation, the better. Speaking of which, as an educator with an educator's schedule, all my annual doctor's appointments tend to get scheduled in the summer. I've been looking at my calendar and it seems like I'll be seeing 150 (slight exaggeration) doctors this summer. Related to that, since I've been on the phone so often getting records, labs, prescriptions, appointments, etc., I feel I've been ma'am'ed about a zillion times. Whyeeeeee? (That's a rhetorical question.) it's so gross to me to be called ma'am. I am doing well last few days. Tired, but feeling much less overwhelmed by this huge change in my life. Plus, I have been making more art, and have been getting some more opportunities in that vein. 

 

This week, I came out to my choir director. It just came up organically in conversation. It felt great to tell him. He's very open minded. Last night we had rehearsal. I noticed that he referred specifically to "SA" (sopranos and altos) when he wanted to hear us, whereas before he might have said "ladies"! That made me very happy. 

 

I also came out to a close friend this week. Again, I had not planned on it. She was telling me about some challenges in her relationship with her bf, and I just opened up and told her about challenges I'd been going through with my spouse since realizing I'm neither cis nor het. She was great - totally loving & supportive. I feel a lot closer to her now. 

 

@Ticket For Epic & @Heather Nicole I also suffer from major social anxiety, although amazingly I don't when I write here (although I used to). I think it's a testament to how genuinely supportive and compassionate this community endeavors to be. Ironically, when I disclose to friends irl how hideously anxious I am sometimes, they are amazed bc I "fake" being fine so well (until I have a meltdown, that is). Similarly, from my perspective, you two both seem so sweet, kind & thoughtful. Regardless of how you feel you're being perceived, for what it's worth, that's how I see you. A friend once told me that whenever I find myself fretting over how I've been perceived (did I say something terrible? have I unwittingly hurt someone? do they hate me now?), I should recall my true heart's intention the moment I said or did the thing I'm being hypervigilant about. When I realize my intention in that moment was loving, altruistic, vulnerable, whatever, it gives me a bit of relief - a small reality check - because I do trust in the power of intention. 

 

@Ticket For Epic that meme - to anyone who thinks trans people, especially young trans people (bc that's a growing demographic), are "choosing" trans ID just to be chic or special or something...geez, right? I mean, there are people who crave drama and conflict, and I'm to the point where I am PROUD to be trans, but why would someone "choose" to be trans given all that. To be clear, I'm contesting the incorrect notion that trans is a choice. Lol, there are less expensive and life-disrupting "hobbies" one could adopt! 

 

@Hannah Renee oh no! Is there nothing to be done? I mean seriously, they ought to consider your safety and mental health. Do you think there is someone in administration you could appeal to? I hope so. 

 

@Mmindy all my life ppl have commented on my soft skin. Now, I understand it's due to my (previously undiagnosed) Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (a genetic collagen defect). So now when someone asks me what my secret is, I tell them it's faulty genes, lol! 

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7 hours ago, Mary said:

You're not missing anything. Years ago I had a Walther PPK 9mm short - the same as 007 had. Terrible ballistics. Even the guy at the gun shop wouldn't buy it off me! 😅

I know. 9mm anemic is a poor caliber. And I carry a different handgun; not a big Walther fan. BUT, there is the "rule of cool" to consider, and Bond has that (for a mysoginist jerk)...🙃

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2 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

 

Also, saw this earlier and had to share.  And no I'm not coming out yet.  Screenshot_20220527-084009_Firefox.jpg.70ce84896ef8c5930ee0f79bc8632a25.jpg

Love this. And, ain't it the truth?

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1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

I plan to apply for SSD (Social Security Disability)

Oh my, I hope you're able to find the help and relief you're needing.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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6 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

Screenshot_20220527-084009_Firefox.jpg.70ce84896ef8c5930ee0f79bc8632a25.jpg

 

Ooh, I love this one, too!

 

4 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

Regardless of how you feel you're being perceived, for what it's worth, that's how I see you. A friend once told me that whenever I find myself fretting over how I've been perceived (did I say something terrible? have I unwittingly hurt someone? do they hate me now?), I should recall my true heart's intention the moment I said or did the thing I'm being hypervigilant about. When I realize my intention in that moment was loving, altruistic, vulnerable, whatever, it gives me a bit of relief - a small reality check - because I do trust in the power of intention. 

 

Thanks for saying so! And for the advice!

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Way to go, @Vidanjali. I support your choice.

When I quit my last full-time job long ago, it was very scary. But looking back, it was the best thing I ever did. I stood up for myself and left what people said was a secure job. It also was toxic and abusive (not for your reasons) and it took the right few friends to support my change and to work towards a creative direction for my life.

I know you're a fine writer and we have a lot of support here on TgP.

Good luck. Believe in yourself. God's speed.

—  Davie

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@VidanjaliI'm not certain what changed from what I was originally told. My new employer is contracted to providing security services for a wide range of companies. My first few days last week were with the HR manager at the local branch office. She originally said she wasn't sure if I could have Hannah on my badge. She subsequently informed me that I could. When I got my ID photo taken yesterday on site, I was told I had to wait until legal name change. I don't know if it's an internal company about face, a policy of the host company, or what. I am going to try to find out what.

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@VidanjaliWhen it comes to employment, follow your inner guidance. You know when it is is time to move on and it can be such a rewarding time when choose to move on.

 

I would get some legal advice about your grievances and how to document them. The HR department is there to protect the organization more so than the employee. A sympathetic HR employee may support you but HR is NOT your advocate. Whether you intend it or not, leaving an organization may burn bridges. That is part of life. You have succeeded in your employment because of your efforts and what you bring much more so than anything the employer provides.

When it comes to jobs, the only thing I regret was not leaving as soon as I knew it was time.

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I just got a call back from local HR. It seems to be the policy of the host company that all access badges require a person's legal name. She has elevated the issue to corporate, but likely won't have an answer until Tuesday.

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@Vidanjali  Since you're liberated from your employer, you might take advantage of an opportunity to something free and creative.  I work in design (mostly advertising) and while I work with an agency, I get to be independent.  It feels good to be able to turn down stuff that I don't find interesting.  Do you have musical or artistic skills you could turn into a cool income source? 

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On 5/25/2022 at 6:03 PM, CD Rachel said:

I wish I could take away the pains, but since I can not, at least let me weep with you my sister.

Thank you so much.   'Sister' was nice to read as well!  It's funny (or probably not) that even curled up on my shower floor, I would not admit to being in pain, just "overwhelmed" Though I guess I just did, lol.

 

And to those who have offered support, advice or just a sympathetic ear that I have not personally thanked or reached out to.  Please forgive what might seem like an apathetic lack of response.  I am and have been a scattered hot mess and I often hop on and off the site when I only have a moment to myself and need a sense of community.  I tell myself I will remember who to respond to when I have the time but with my brain being in a contant state of explosion...  that or my socially broken butt just can't find the words. 

 

Thanks for being awesome, all of you!

 

Much luv

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@Vidanjali --

 

As @Davieand others have mentioned, you're writing abilities are, well, mathematically speaking, in the 99th percentile 🙂.  You not only write with clarity, you write with insight and empathy.  Heck, if you wrote a book on any topic, especially a topic I know little about, I'd buy it, because you have that magic trait of effective communication 📖, which is a hallmark of good educators.

 

Beaming supportive thoughts down to Florida as you make your transition to something as-yet-unknown,

 

Astrid

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10 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

that meme - to anyone who thinks trans people, especially young trans people (bc that's a growing demographic), are "choosing" trans ID just to be chic or special or something...geez, right? I mean, there are people who crave drama and conflict, and I'm to the point where I am PROUD to be trans, but why would someone "choose" to be trans given all that. To be clear, I'm contesting the incorrect notion that trans is a choice.

I know right!?  If there were such a thing a 'egg' epoxy, I'd buy in bulk! 

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Good morning! 
 

On a trip to San Francisco, enjoying seeing all the rainbow and even trans flags flying all over-and that’s before a possible visit to the transgender district. And loved seeing the slew of books on trans issues at City Lights books-I finally picked up “Whipping Girl” there. 

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15 minutes ago, RhondaS said:

Good morning! 
 

On a trip to San Francisco, enjoying seeing all the rainbow and even trans flags flying all over-and that’s before a possible visit to the transgender district. And loved seeing the slew of books on trans issues at City Lights books-I finally picked up “Whipping Girl” there. 

Good morning, @RhondaS!!! You're in a scene out of my dreams today. San Francisco rainbows, trans flags, and City Lights. Planning to be there again soon. July or August, I think. Say hi to it all . . . and the Pacific Ocean.

(Is Cliff House still there?) 

Hugs y buen viaje,
Davie

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13 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

I just got a call back from local HR. It seems to be the policy of the host company that all access badges require a person's legal name. She has elevated the issue to corporate, but likely won't have an answer until Tuesday.

 

I am thinking maybe it has to do with emergencies, like if you were indisposed because of an injury or unconscious, or ended up in the ER they would want to have everything match up with records, to verify your identity, etc. Something along those lines...

 

 

@CD Rachel

I think it's great you are moving forward coming out. The incongruency for myself the longer it goes on just feels like the sensation of being trapped and too much like the old days. Basically, the only person we are actually "hiding" from is ourselves IMHO.

 

Well my name change got approved yesterday, so as soon as I get the papers it's legal and official... I am Stevie Ophelia!

The the last outing left- work, so I can now start that process. Not even worried about it anymore, how it's all going to play out...there's no sitting still. Either I am moving forward or going backward, and there is no going back for me.

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16 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

When I got my ID photo taken yesterday on site, I was told I had to wait until legal name change. I don't know if it's an internal company about face, a policy of the host company, or what. I am going to try to find out what.

Oh my Hannah,

I hope HR is able to help you straighten this out.

 

Hugs

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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