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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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Gooooood eeevenning

 

Well, we got the bottom of the china hutch here and set it up.  Brought over a number of boxes, bathroom things, wife’s clothes, shoes and purses and more kitchen boxes.  I found some remote controls but not all  still haven’t found the Apple TV remote.  Guest room is just missing one item.  Oldest granddaughter has asked to come down the first week of August.  We have some family heirlooms that really need to find new homes.  I have a spinning wheel that has been passed down since the early 1800s.  My wife has a beautiful secretary  that is around 100 years old.  We want to keep both going in the family.  Our daughter has requested the secretary and I’m hoping our oldest granddaughter will want the spinning wheel.  We have other antiques in the 100 year old range that will go to someone someday but not yet.

 

Politically speaking we all could be in for some rough times.  It would seem that the SCOTUS isn’t done with taking away rights and freedom we currently enjoy.  Which ever side you are on the next two elections could be extremely important so be sure to vote.

 

Personally I don’t know when I’ve been so relaxed and happy as I am now.  Living here seems like a long vacation.  And being myself all the time makes it that much better.  Yes I have gotten some pushback but nothing that I think will ruin this.  
 

time to take the dog for a walk.  See you tomorrow.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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2 minutes ago, Willow said:

Personally I don’t know when I’ve been so relaxed and happy as I am now.  

Glad to hear your life is getting settled down a bit.

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8 minutes ago, Willow said:

Personally I don’t know when I’ve been so relaxed and happy as I am now.  Living here seems like a long vacation.

 

You deserve it, especially after all that boat-living time and work you put in!

 

It's so nice to hear about you finally being in the new place! I'm sure the process of moving in is quite a lot of work (it always is), but it sounds like it must be very satisfying for you at this point.

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I was on the fence about telling my new friend that I'm trans but did it anyway. Turns out she's an allie and supporter which is why she never said or did anything to make me suspect she knew. We're planning to meet up for lunch on Sunday.

 

Today is also my name change anniversary but it's hard to be happy about it considering that other thing that happened today.

 

I'm still chipping away at purse project. I had to, yet again, redesign some parts but now it's just endless hours of printing out and assembling the pieces. As long as my supply of filament holds out I should have it done by next weekend.

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23 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

@Elizabeth Star & @Davie thanks!! 

 

@SheenaT glad you're recovering so well. 

 

@Jaycie always beautiful to hear a cheer of euphoria! It boosts us all, I believe. 

 

@Ticket For Epic perhaps your ex needs time to process. Doesn't feel so good, the ghosting - obviously any communication would be preferable. I hope you have super fun at pride! So, your sister will be your companion at pride, but you are not out to her? What is her interest in attending pride? Doesn't it feel like the stakes are soooo much higher when considering telling people you're close to? I've had an easier time mentioning it casually and spontaneously to people I barely know or see. But those who are closer to me? Very few know. Who knows - maybe pride will inspire you. I was struck by your comment that you feel wrong/bad for starting a new thread. In doing so, you assert yourself to some extent. I just want to affirm that you are assertable (a word I made up just for you, lol). We WANT to see you & hear from you; you are worthy, valid & beautiful. 

 

Related to coming out, I was discussing, via text, my top dysphoria with my friend, T, whom I recently came out to. She said she completely understood how it relates to gender ID. I asked, you do??? She said that when I told her I'm trans, she'd actually known that about me for a long time & it was no surprise to her when I told her. She validated how stressful and potentially devastating ordinary things like putting oneself together to leave the house could be. I was like, wow. It's a beautiful thing when someone really sees you. I told her that for years while I was trying my darndest to be a "normal" woman, that I tried to convince myself that all women routinely had complete borderline psychotic meltdowns while fixing their hair or getting dressed, but I didn't really believe it - I always felt like an imposter, alien, monster. I mean, I did have some hideous PMS, but these instances were not necessarily "periodic". Live and learn. Last night, I was telling my husband that these days, I care much much less what others think about the way I look, but that the key to that is increasingly accepting and liking how I look, myself. I'm no longer trying to squeeze myself into a ill-fitting mold. 

 

 

Thank you! Just wish it had been GCS.

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Meeting with the mediator went well. All should be done by the end of July🤞. And it's filed in the one county (where my wife lives) that has the option of not having to show up in court in person, or even Zoom. Now for the name change.

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Hi

 

we took it easy today unpacked some previously moved boxes.  Bought a new coffee maker.  Choice of making a single cup or a pot.  I think that solves some issues we were having with either not enough or too much.  Also bought some pillows and a small teak table for the porch.  
 

it’s a beautiful evening on the porch  just cool enough to be comfortable but warm enough to enjoy.  Tomorrow we will have to bring some more things to the condo. I need to find my big iMac.  We have one more piece for the guest bedroom to bring and a 4 piece wall unit which will divide the dining room from the living room.  I will also use a desk that is part of it.  I do need to find my cords and cables. I brought over our printer but discovered it does no good without the power cord which wasn’t with it.  The number of not found things is becoming annoying.  
 

@SheenaT I still have my prostate but I’ve had two prostate surgeries.  I know they weren’t fun and you have to take it easy for a while to let things heal.  Yes, it’s too bad it’s couldn’t have just been combined with a GCS.  

 

@Hannah Renee whether you Don’t have to be at court or not, I would think it would be in your best interest to be there “just in case”. I’m learning things the hard way about courts and even though my attorney said I didn’t have to be there unless he tells me differently I’m pretty sure I’m going to go to each scheduled hearing.  Until it’s resolved.  
 

have a great evening and a good night.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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24 minutes ago, Willow said:

The number of not found things is becoming annoying.

This describes my life.  Sigh.

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@WillowI get your point. The way we've handled this has been through a mediator. We each submitted financial disclosure forms, which were used to formulate maintenance, child support, life and health insurance, etc. We have worked together to work out the specifics regarding the house and associated ongoing expenses (no mortgage). This has all been put in legal mumbojumbo and appropriate court documents. Last review wast today, wife, mediator, and myself. One final document signed, ready for submission, the other one will be in a few days. Request for dissolution has already been filed. Now it is just a formality for the judge to sign off.

 

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

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Good morning!

 

Had my fifth cut and color (I think) since I started the coming out mode, second one at the place I found on strandsfortrans.com.  I kinda thought I'd be getting over the emotional reaction to getting the hair done, but nope.  A few tears again, and a hug from the stylist. Maybe next time it'll be just another hair cut. 

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3 hours ago, RhondaS said:

A few tears again, and a hug from the stylist.

I am so jealous.  My lack of hair is a major trigger for me…  sigh.

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Day that they announced Roe was overturned- depressed, cries. Felt like I turned a point. 

Like up to now, I had been really careful to align with cis hetero culture living in the 'white' neighborhood and being "appropriate"- the nice, unthreatening trans girl I guess? "Please accept me and like me".

Nah, if it's a warzone out there then I've no more f-##$ to give. It's YOUR problem if you don't like what you see. I'm at the grocery in my pajama pants and crop top.

Up to then I was still pretty preoccupied with fears of eviction, etc. But when you realize you may end up literally fighting for your existence, kinda changes things.

Then name change paperwork arrived. 

More cries....but joyful.

Then visited my special friend and we just hung out and talked and ordered pizza. Might turn into a "thing" as she says.

I am having some deep feels. I basically ended up telling her how much she meant to me and confessing my love without actually using that word. Fear is I don't want to mess it up. We are really having a good time. No intimacy. She said she's not bi but then admitted she had some deep feels for another girl once, non sexual. 

 But it's all happened naturally so far. Last night I ended my text with "Love ya", justification being most of my other women friends and I ended up saying that, but honestly I really have wanted to say I love you. But she replied "Love you too".

Ugh. So sweet.

Actually, I am pretty darn happy with that. She is attractive, tall, smart, (a mechanical engineer), and hilarious. Go ahead and be jealous.

But it's different this time. I actually really care about this person deeply. Libido stuff isn't even on the table. I think about what intimacy might be like (probably HAWT lol), but really the relationship has a mind of it's own and things arise so naturally and spontaneously....I can perhaps try to imagine she might think the last thing she ever expected would be being with a trans girl too, possibly. And she is too, in a new season of life.

There's probably a lot that I am missing since I am usually dull as a cow in relationships.

Sorry for TMI, haven't been with my therapist in awhile. 

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Sounds exciting - and confusing.

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4 minutes ago, Jandi said:

Sounds exciting - and confusing.

LOL

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@Jandi I too wish I had my own hair to style.  Instead I have to wear a wig and hope it stays in place in public.

 

my bigger issue is the size of my boobettes.  Both hair and them require artificial improvements.

 

@stveee I know how you must feel.  We all need that one special friend that we can open up to.  Lay our cards on the table and not get rejected.  It’s the rejection I fear the most.

 

Willow

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5 hours ago, Jandi said:

I am so jealous.  My lack of hair is a major trigger for me…  sigh.

@JandiI know how you feel sister as my lack of hair is also a major trigger.

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So Good Sunday afternoon from central Texas, to dang hot for coffee so drinking iced tea. I was under the weather most of last week and yesterday was the first day I felt like doing anything I did go to my HRT doctor last Tuesday and she is very happy with all of my numbers, she also told me that she is excited for on being close to getting FFS sometime Feb, March time frame. She also wrote the letter for me to start the process of gender marker and name change I hope to be ready to submit sometime late July.

 

Hugs Riley.

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5 hours ago, Billie75B said:
10 hours ago, Jandi said:

I am so jealous.  My lack of hair is a major trigger for me…  sigh.

@JandiI know how you feel sister as my lack of hair is also a major trigger.

We should start a club! 

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good morning everyone

 

 coffee is hot and the night is sleepless

 

funny for a girl that has every thing one could want , i find i have nothing,, not one real friend ,

just old and lonely even with some one in the next room ,,,

 i just had to let it out, if i read it maybe i can fix it some how ,,,  maybe its real maybe im crazy , to many hour's alone with little sleep right now ,,

sorry  forgive me don't be mad , the struggle is real ,

 

peace, hugs and love to all

                      Betty B

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4 hours ago, Betty_B said:

good morning everyone

 

 coffee is hot and the night is sleepless

 

funny for a girl that has every thing one could want , i find i have nothing,, not one real friend ,

just old and lonely even with some one in the next room ,,,

 i just had to let it out, if i read it maybe i can fix it some how ,,,  maybe its real maybe im crazy , to many hour's alone with little sleep right now ,,

sorry  forgive me don't be mad , the struggle is real ,

Mad at what, sharing in a safe place designed for exactly that?  Lol  In all seriousness though, I get it, I often feel like I'm imposing or intruding here but that assumption has always been proven false.  Vent, share, rant... that's why we are here.  

 

I think a lot of us here feel isolated in some form or another, I know I do and knowing I'm not alone in that, somehow helps.  So, my sister in solitude, thanks for sharing and consider yourself well and truly hugged... should such a thing be welcome. 

 

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1 minute ago, Ticket For Epic said:

I think a lot of us here feel isolated in some form or another, I know I do and knowing I'm not alone in that, somehow helps. 

This is true.

Coming here helps me a lot.  Helps me realize I'm not the only one.

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@Betty_B I have the same problem. I have no true friends. Yeah, I have people I work with and people I know but no one to just call and talk to about anything.  Or go out with for coffee. Other than on this board I have no trans friends. That is just about the way my whole life has been. Even with people I call good friends, I am the one who initiates the contact, that soon breaks off, again. My one true friend is my wife and most everyone here knows her stance on my transition.

 

However I trudge on.

 

I have been in fair mood lately. I've been able to get out and work on stuff. Been out on the bike. Hit the trails. When I express to my wife that hey we will have our own home soon. She throws salt on the wound and says. The current owners haven't found a place so until they do we ain't going anywhere.

 

Sorry for being debbie downer, everyone.

 

Have a great day.

 

Hugs

 

Kymmie

 

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Hugs,, Kymmie ,,, i guess im not alone in being alone , at least we have the hope for it to feel differently

 

 

 

 

 Peace , love and hugs to all

    Betty B

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On 6/24/2022 at 10:52 AM, Vidanjali said:

So, your sister will be your companion at pride, but you are not out to her? What is her interest in attending pride?

Usually, it's me tagging along as an ally.  She came out over 20 years ago and I only discovered I'm polysexual on a corresponding demi spectrum (does that make sense?) in the last couple of years.  This was my first pride as an out (well, halfway) member of the community. (That's a whole post by itself!)

 

Yeah, my sister is my closest and dearest friend, a queer woman that married a trans man (recently separated), who could be easier to come out to?!!?

 

Well, I don't think she is the ally she thinks she is.   We have on several occasions had heated debates over the non-binary community and pronouns. Just yesterday we were talking about sexuality and she said "I think I'm a little bit bi."  to which I responded "You married a man." and the reply I got was "but...  well he's a trans man" I reiterated "yes, he's a man" then she rolled her eyes dismissively and moved on.  

 

Anyway, that's just one example, there are more.

 

On 6/24/2022 at 10:52 AM, Vidanjali said:

Doesn't it feel like the stakes are soooo much higher when considering telling people you're close to? I've had an easier time mentioning it casually and spontaneously to people I barely know or see.

Truer words have never been spoken, I've come out to more than one perfect stranger!

 

On 6/24/2022 at 10:52 AM, Vidanjali said:

I was struck by your comment that you feel wrong/bad for starting a new thread. In doing so, you assert yourself to some extent. I just want to affirm that you are assertable (a word I made up just for you, lol). We WANT to see you & hear from you; you are worthy, valid & beautiful. 

Thank you, I needed that...  also...  How dare you make me feel feelings! 😜🤣

 

Much luv

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Was out for my morning trail walk earlier.   We have a local trail along a river.  It's been there for years, but a footbridge had been washed out in a flood a couple years ago.  Also some parts along the bank had been washed away.  They have been working on repairs though.  A new (fancy suspension) bridge was recently completed and the trail now "officially" opened.

 

I have been using it since early spring - the part I walk was just not "officially open."  I try to go out around sunrise, and there are seldom other folks down there.  That is a good and bad thing.  Good because I usually have the place to myself - bad because I'm alone in a secluded area.  (I am out full-time but certainly do not "pass")  Since the official opening, there have been more people, although still not many out that early.  I usually see no one else.

 

About a week ago, I was there alone when I heard someone coming.  They were arguing loudly.  Since I was in a place where I could, I kinda slipped off the trail and watched from a less visible place.  Turned out that only one person came by (a pissed off woman) so that was that.  But I had been concerned for a bit.  Perhaps I was just being silly IDK.

 

This morning I hadn't been on the trail long when I saw someone through the trees, coming towards me, about 100yds away.  We both stopped and looked at each other for a bit - almost a minute maybe.  Then started walking toward each other.  I could tell it was a woman.  I was wearing a dress of course, so I expect I did "pass" at a distance.  About 50ft she stopped and said she wasn't dangerous, and I said the same.  As we passed she said it wasn't always safe there alone.  I said, "Yeah, I know" and we went on our ways.

 

The take away I had was, in that moment we had a mutual understanding of vulnerability in that environment.

 

Gave me something to think about.

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