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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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3 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

polysexual on a corresponding demi spectrum (does that make sense?) 

 

Yes. I believe I understand. Similarly, I'm ace and panromantic.

 

3 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

Yeah, my sister is my closest and dearest friend, a queer woman that married a trans man (recently separated)...

We have on several occasions had heated debates over the non-binary community and pronouns. Just yesterday we were talking about sexuality and she said "I think I'm a little bit bi."  to which I responded "You married a man." and the reply I got was "but...  well he's a trans man" I reiterated "yes, he's a man" then she rolled her eyes dismissively and moved on.  

 

I think many people erroneously assume that anyone in the alphabet soup is necessarily a seamless ally for everyone else. Add familial baggage to that (even despite having a close relationship with someone), and indeed, it can be intimidating and complicated. For example, one of my closest friends is a gay cis man. I have had three major heart to heart conversations with him about my gender - the most recent of which was more of a reckoning during which I told him how I felt hurt by his lack of understanding. I thought we had a breakthrough. Then, just yesterday, he addressed me and another female friend collectively as "ladies". Sigh.

 

About your sister's questioning bi-ness - I suspect that it's not unusual for folks who engage in relationships with a trans partners question their sexual orientation to some extent. Please forgive me if I am not expressing myself well - I mean no offense to anyone - if there is some aspect of their partner's physicality which they associate maleness or femaleness with, irrespective of their partner's gender, then it's possible that attraction may be a gateway to desiring further exploration regarding how they may find sexual fulfillment with other partners with similar qualities in other contexts. It's a sticky issue, yes, because we strive to be 100% affirming. This is why I personally like the general term "queer". 

 

3 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

How dare you make me feel feelings! 😜🤣

 

😜😁

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Hi everyone 

 

my wife had her second round of eye surgery today.  I guess it will be about a month until we know for sure if this had the desired effect.

 

talking about friends and being lonely.  I had no friends throughout most of my adult life.  No one I could call and talk to, have a beer or any such thing.  Combine that with the loneliness of having thoughts that I couldn’t share with anyone.  I broke that when we moved to South Carolina.  I made friends with the neighbors and would talk to them.  
 

now I talk to all of you and consider you all my friends.  I have refound people I went to high school with and we share on Facebook.  I’m actually amazed that they are all ok with me.  Guess I had more high school friends than I realized.  
 

and then there is the group I meet with in Wilmington.  They are all my friends and there are several whom I could call or even visit most anytime.

 

no it’s not quite the same just as you are saying but it’s the best I’ve had most of my life.

 

Willow

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I had lunch with my new friend yesterday. Her car was in the shop so she asked if I could pick her up. She lives literally a 5 minute drive from me. After lunch we went back to her place and I hung out for a few hours. I met her kids and BF. It was a lot for me to take in. I had been with the same person for 15 years but no kids, just dogs. There was so much going on I started to get overloaded but I had  still an amazing time and we're definitely going to be friends.

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29 minutes ago, Willow said:

talking about friends and being lonely.  I had no friends throughout most of my adult life.  No one I could call and talk to, have a beer or any such thing.

 

I'm the same way. Hearing so many of us here who either are, or have been, in that boat makes me feel a little better about it ☺️

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Ah yes, loneliness. I met my wife when I was 18. We moved in together a month later. We got married when I was 21. She was always my best friend. After 32 years it still wasn't enough to save us. So for the last 2.5 years I have been experiencing this thing called loneliness, and I have decided that it sucks. Ever the dreamer I still hope to find the One. The one who will love me for who I am without reservation. It can happen right? True love exists doesn't it? I am going to go cry now. I will tell myself everything will work out and that dreams do come true until I believe it again. It will keep me going another day. I will continue to hope and live and who knows... 

 

~Rachel

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Blah, Sorry about that little melt down. Feeling better already. Isn't there some kind of live chat thing available on this site? Do any of us lonely people ever talk to each other? We could set up zoom chats and talk. I mean i have been sitting here for the past 3 hours not doing a dam thing. It would be great to find opportunities to actually talk to each other. Just saying. If anyone is ever intreated in just talking I can be a great listener. Years of practice....

 

 

~Rachel

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10 hours ago, Willow said:

talking about friends and being lonely.  I had no friends throughout most of my adult life.  No one I could call and talk to, have a beer or any such thing.  Combine that with the loneliness of having thoughts that I couldn’t share with anyone.  I broke that when we moved to South Carolina.  I made friends with the neighbors and would talk to them.  
 

now I talk to all of you and consider you all my friends.  I have refound people I went to high school with and we share on Facebook.  I’m actually amazed that they are all ok with me.  Guess I had more high school friends than I realized.  
 

and then there is the group I meet with in Wilmington.  They are all my friends and there are several whom I could call or even visit most anytime.

 

Thank you @Willowfor sharing this. Me too. I think this is something we all struggle with.

Hugs

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Good morning everyone 

 

it’s a rainy day here.   But that’s ok.  I thinks it’s crying for us after last nights talk.

 

@CD Rachel there is a connected live chat.  Look above at the menu far right.  I logged on once and quickly realized I couldn’t keep up with the people on it.  They were either using speech to text software or were really fast typers.  If I understand how it works, you can open a private room with people who you want to talk to about ???.  But you’d have to find someone more techy than I am.

 

my Wilmington group has a private website, Facebook page and uses the same chat service.  I didn’t even bother with the chat room.  I thinks that’s what you might run into unless it’s prearranged.

 

today is laundry day.  I got one of those shirt folders I can never get them right doing it the old fashion way.

 

I met my wife 51 years ago.  We got married just over 50 years ago.  I’ve had a struggle keeping us together but we are hanging on so far.  
 

well I need to finish my coffee and shower.  I guess I could just go outside, I see it’s raining again.  lol

 

Lots of pro LGBTQI public service ads on tv. Good ones.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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Past is coming back to haunt me. Can't stop the tears. It'll be OK.

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2 minutes ago, Hannah Renee said:

Past is coming back to haunt me. Can't stop the tears. It'll be OK.

Hannah,

 

It's going to be real tough to get through the separation/divorce process, and as you posted you'll be okay. That being said, doesn't reduce your current emotional pain, and realization that a portion of your life is ending. Please know you have a support network here to lean on, sadness, crying are okay.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋 

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On 6/15/2022 at 9:39 PM, Willow said:

we did it! We closed!  We spending our first night in the new 

YAY!!!!! That's awesome ❤

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Still don't drink coffee. My normal suppliers of caffeine, C-C & MD, are not presently at hand, but my vitamin water is. Had a couple of emotional pick-me-ups today (in addition to those I got here), and they were much needed on an in-person level. First, I went to return an item at Kohl's (only in person returns), which worked out nicely. The nice lady at the return counter was teaching another nice lady the ins and outs of the process. Thrice, she unhesitatingly referred to me as "she." 

 

Secondly, as I was on my walk, I ended up passing three women, two maybe 30ish or so, the other a teen. We greeted as I passed, then one of them said something about legs. Then the other adult one said, "She's got legs." The word "legs" drawn out for emphasis. Yeah, that perked me up!

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6 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

then one of them said something about legs. Then the other adult one said, "She's got legs." The word "legs" drawn out for emphasis.

The best complements are those we weren't intended to heat!  What a lovely experience!

 

 

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Saw my Endo for 6 mo. checkup and although I am on the minimum starter dose, my E levels are really good, so that I may actually be in the danger zone if she increases it. Still waiting on the blood. It's mostly about getting my T down. But it's very possible I may stay on the starting dosage and just is a question of time to see things develop. She brought up any thoughts I had on GCS, and I might want to think more on that while I still have this job with decent insurance.

Did a photo shoot for an NB friend and their trans visibility project focusing on trans diversity. They made me feel like a supermodel! Can't share photos until the gallery show in November tho.

My current situation with my woman friend is continuing to get nicer. I went through brief times of doubt and fear. We used to hang out once a week and maybe text or talk here and there but last date we went to a nice restaurant in my neighborhood and had a great talk with great food and now when the date ends, she is suggesting we get together again on my next day off.

We are planning on doing an old fashioned July 4th with fair food and Sno Cones and fireworks after. There may even be another kind of fireworks happening, but I am ok with leaving it totally up to Goddess on where it is going.

 

 

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Good morning, dear ones. I deeply sympathize with those who suffer from loneliness or isolation. I used to believe that I was the loneliest person in the world - such is loneliness. Mercifully, my life and circumstances have changed dramatically, especially in the last 10 or so years - my deepest desire was/is always to feel loved & it became my life's mission to determine if this could be realized. Although I now have a multitude of close relationships, I think that lonely & unlovable mindset is ingrained, like a bad habit - I'm often incredulous that this person or that is fond of me or even admires me. It's something I have to actively challenge in order to enjoy greater freedom of heart and mind. At any rate, to anyone who needs to hear it, I LOVE YOU. I may not know you irl, but I know that you feel the same things I do, and that is enough common ground for me to feel that for you. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, stveee said:

Saw my Endo for 6 mo. checkup and although I am on the minimum starter dose, my E levels are really good, so that I may actually be in the danger zone if she increases it. Still waiting on the blood. It's mostly about getting my T down. But it's very possible I may stay on the starting dosage and just is a question of time to see things develop. She brought up any thoughts I had on GCS, and I might want to think more on that while I still have this job with decent insurance.

Did a photo shoot for an NB friend and their trans visibility project focusing on trans diversity. They made me feel like a supermodel! Can't share photos until the gallery show in November tho.

My current situation with my woman friend is continuing to get nicer. I went through brief times of doubt and fear. We used to hang out once a week and maybe text or talk here and there but last date we went to a nice restaurant in my neighborhood and had a great talk with great food and now when the date ends, she is suggesting we get together again on my next day off.

We are planning on doing an old fashioned July 4th with fair food and Sno Cones and fireworks after. There may even be another kind of fireworks happening, but I am ok with leaving it totally up to Goddess on where it is going.

 

 

Stveee, it sounds like you are having some great times.  I know about the E and the T battle. My E levels are finally getting up. Then I am on 3 patches. and spiro in the morn and before I hit the hay. Having any type of surgery is a BIG decision one that only you can decided. Being that the VA is in the process of writing the standards. It is a matter of time until they offer it. Maybe I could sign up to be the first Veteran who receives surgery provided by the VA.

 

Stveee the supermodel, Just don't forget your friends here. When you become rich and famous. Looking forward to seeing the pictures.

Have fun on your old fashion 4th of July.Sounds like fun.

 

Kymmie

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Good morning guys and gals, and whom ever is reading this. a cat or dog or the squirrel in the next tree. LOL.

 

Well the old fencometer is showing 70 in direct sunlight. Headed for a forecast high of 79. Been nice the last few days. Had a nice rain on Monday. We actually need some more. But I'll take the warm weather.

 

Still no word on if the current owners of the house we are looking to buy. Have found anything, they are looking to move to Alabama. Cannot wait for closing so I can tell my current gov ran landlord where to stick it. I've paid them too much over the past 22yrs. 

 

We had our youngest grandson for a few hours on Sat. It was great just having him here.

 

I recently realized that my granddaughter has never been to our house, seen where her dad grew up. I don't think she has ever been to Wyoming. I truly believe that my son is embarrassed to visit us. We live in subsidized housing. I think it is mostly my daughter in law. She is totally influencing my son. But that is all on them. As long as I can see my grandson and granddaughter they can think anything they want. 

 

Well everyone have a great day, it is my Friday.

 

Hugs to all.

Kymmie 

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Good morning, I hope all is well with everyone.

 

So my sister just called in a favor and I'm about call out of work and drive 4 hours to go pick her up, drive back with her, put her and her two dogs up (along with mine) over night and the dogs till Monday, in my 400sf apartment.  All this so that she can visit her new girlfriend AND NOT ME!  I kid, I really don't mind as life has been kicking her ass and she needs this and I'm glad to help. 

 

That said, I have like 2 hours to turn a girls home into something that isn't going to raise 11,000 eyebrows.  I've always lived in what could only be described as spartan decor and furnishings but since my egg cracked I've gone full Martha Stewart.  It looks like six Disney princesses their evil step mothers and Harley Quinn had their run or the place and I'm not sure I have the time to deal or even the space to hide things.  Real talk...  I'm panicking a little.

 

No one but me is ever in my home... ever. I just started collecting the things I used to see and think "I'd totally get that if I were a girl".  I never considered that decorating could become an issue but here we are. 

 

Okay, I'm off to frantically do...   something. 

 

Much luv

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45 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

Good morning, dear ones. I deeply sympathize with those who suffer from loneliness or isolation. I used to believe that I was the loneliest person in the world - such is loneliness. Mercifully, my life and circumstances have changed dramatically, especially in the last 10 or so years - my deepest desire was/is always to feel loved & it became my life's mission to determine if this could be realized. Although I now have a multitude of close relationships, I think that lonely & unlovable mindset is ingrained, like a bad habit - I'm often incredulous that this person or that is fond of me or even admires me. It's something I have to actively challenge in order to enjoy greater freedom of heart and mind. At any rate, to anyone who needs to hear it, I LOVE YOU. I may not know you irl, but I know that you feel the same things I do, and that is enough common ground for me to feel that for you. 

 

 

😍

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2 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

It looks like six Disney princesses their evil step mothers and Harley Quinn had their run or the place and I'm not sure I have the time to deal or even the space to hide things.

 

OK, two things: One, I want to see what that looks like in absolutely the WORST way. Two... why? Let her see it. Decorating your living space is one of the truest expressions of self there is. Let her meet her sister.

 

Hugs!

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On 6/27/2022 at 10:13 AM, Ticket For Epic said:

Yeah, my sister is my closest and dearest friend, a queer woman that married a trans man (recently separated), who could be easier to come out to?!!?

 

Well, I don't think she is the ally she thinks she is.   We have on several occasions had heated debates over the non-binary community and pronouns. Just yesterday we were talking about sexuality and she said "I think I'm a little bit bi."  to which I responded "You married a man." and the reply I got was "but...  well he's a trans man" I reiterated "yes, he's a man" then she rolled her eyes dismissively and moved on.  

 

Anyway, that's just one example, there are more.

Sorry for the copy and paste but I'm pressed for time.  But in a nutshell...  abject terror.

26 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

why? Let her see it. Decorating your living space is one of the truest expressions of self there is. Let her meet her sister.

 

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1 minute ago, Ticket For Epic said:

Sorry for the copy and paste but I'm pressed for time.  But in a nutshell...  abject terror.

 

So I ABSOLUTELY got the wrong idea when you said "girlfriend?"

 

Even so, she likes you. You're family that she accepts. She knows that you're a good person. Eventually, you're either going to come out of the closet to her. I get that you're scared. It could be a big deal.

 

On the other hand, what if it's not? At least think about it. If now isn't the right time, that's fine, but it could also be an opportunity.

 

Hugs!

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5 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

OK, two things: One, I want to see what that looks like in absolutely the WORST way. Two... why? Let her see it. Decorating your living space is one of the truest expressions of self there is. Let her meet her sister.

 

Hugs!

Amen!

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Hi

 

Another trip to Charleston today.  My wife had two appointments.  One for DNA testing study.  The results are supposed to tell her her risk of heart problems, diabetes and cancer, and she gets ancestry like information.  Then she had an urologist appointment later in the day.  It rained, hard at times most of the day.  
 

@Ticket For Epic I know how traumatic it can be to let out your deep dark secret.  But I agree with @Jackie C.  and others.  What better time or better person to share with.  Obviously, your sister came out to you time to bite the bullet and pay it back.  I also agree with leaving your home as it is.  What better way to start the conversation.  Surely she will be curious about your decorations and that could spurs you on to tell her all about yourself.

 

I guess I missed something, Kymmie mentioned surgery.  Everyone has there own ideas and decisions to make.  My friend went all the way, and another is headed that way now.  I had minimal surgery to help with E levels and eliminate using a drug that has a reputation for causing problems with long term use.  I’m happy with my decision and I know my friends are happy with theirs.  No one should push you in any direction..  that’s a very personal decision and once done, it’s done.

 

Tomorrow I need to get some more boxes and furniture moved in and make a trip to the boat.  It needs some attention because of the rain and I need to get a few more things off the boat and bring them here.

 

Willow

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Good morning everyone

 

Coffee is hot and strong ,

wow wow wow ,, looks like i will have to endure even more lonely, the one person i did have to talk with  (my sister)

told me yesterday she has stage 4 cancer,,,god give me a break ,,, thought i would not have to relive this again so soon

lost my past wife this way a few years ago , it broke me ,,, it dose feel like my world is crumbling one chunk at a time ,,

 

how crushed can ones sole and heart be till there is just nothing left

A friend , a hug , a shoulder to cry on,,,, yes i could use that, at a moment like this

 

   sorry im a downer just trying to grasp this once again ,,,,,

spend your time wisely with your loved ones  you only have what you have till its all gone,,,,,,,,,,,,,

        Just crying

             Betty B

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