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Went to my 25th high school reunion yesterday and went good.My friends accepted the changes and called me Holly and are there for support.Teachers I had took it well.Asked about my later plans knowing I am on the feminizing hormones.Told them having the GRS when it comes time.I recently changed my decision to have the GRS which I have support for.

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2 hours ago, HollyNG said:

Went to my 25th high school reunion yesterday and went good.My friends accepted the changes and called me Holly and are there for support.Teachers I had took it well.Asked about my later plans knowing I am on the feminizing hormones.Told them having the GRS when it comes time.I recently changed my decision to have the GRS which I have support for.

That's awesome. So happy it went so well for you.

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It's been so long since I let my facial hair grow like this. With my local electro person, she only wants 2.5-3 days growth and only in the small area we are working on that day. So it's almost non visible or something I'm aware of. However, for these large clearings in Chicago they want 4-5 days growth and it's the whole face.  Most of my cheeks are cleared but the areas around the corners of the mouth and my whole jaw line down the neck are still pretty full.  I'm am so triggered and dysphoric right now. To boot, my plan was to stay home Sat- Monday morning and just do some working from home and chores but I've been pulled into being in public the whole weekend.  A friend needed consoling and wanted to get a drink last night at a bar and another friend broke her foot this morning so I took her to the doctors and then she took me to lunch. All nice but with my full lower beard going it made me so uncomfortable. :(.   I haven't had to do this since last December before my FFS.  I seriously hope they can clear most of the hair off my jaw and neck this time so that it's not very noticable next time I have to do this.


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@Bri2020 you should be proud of yourself. I could feel my 5 o’clock shadow at a kids birthday party after being told the night before my dress was to short and that so totally triggered my it took me two months and therapy to start again.  

now with no T at all and normal female levels of E even when I do have a little fuzz you can’t see it only feel it.


and you got to help some friends.  I’d say it was worth it.



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2 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

That's awesome. So happy it went so well for you.

Plans are the GRS going to be done next year or in 2024

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Good morning, everyone.

It's Monday so back to the grind. My nails had gotten so long that basic tasks, even typing was such a struggle. Sadly, they're a lot shorter then I wanted. I tried to to tell the tech to only keep two of them short but due to the language barrier things went astray. What's weird is that it's still hard to type. I feel like I have to reach extra far to hit the right keys.


I went on my date with my friend but so far nothing has really come of it except I'm literally part of the family now. Which I still take as a win.

to be continued....

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26 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm literally part of the family now. Which I still take as a win.

Sounds like it to me

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Good Monday morning everyone.  

We had a lot of rain yesterday afternoon but that’s okay since we had indoor tasks to handle.  We are starting to get back into a routine.  Who is doing which task.  Today is traditional laundry day and we tend to follow that.

Yesterday morning I made waffles while my wife made bacon, so a pretty good Sunday breakfast.  Last night we had a nice pork chop dinner.  We bought an economy pack of meat.  When we got home I took them out and vacuum packed and froze all but what we were preparing.  Add to that a vegetable and rice.  We ate for less than $10 total.  And my wife made a cake for desert.  A rare thing but it sure was good.


I messed up the coffee this morning.  Spilled some and had to clean that up and selected the wrong size pot, so it’s a little weak, but we have plenty.  Still dark and black.  But my sponsor is a little disappointed I didn’t use more of their coffee today.


speaking of laundry, I’ve never been great at folding shirts.  So I bought a shirt folder on line.  I’ve been using it for the last couple of weeks.  For me it does a much better job than I do without it and it’s faster.  Well worth the price which was about $15.  They had less expensive ones but I thought this one was better.  

Each day more boxes get brought over and this becomes more and more like home.  I will need to buy some shelves for our storage room and some closet organizing items, like shoe racks and more shelves.




But, easy does it.



I went on my date with my friend but so far nothing has really come of it except I'm literally part of the family now. Which I still take as a win.

Liz you are definitely a more out going person than I ever was or will be.  Enjoy your new friendships.


Hugs to all




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2 minutes ago, Willow said:

speaking of laundry, I’ve never been great at folding shirts.  So I bought a shirt folder on line.  I’ve been using it for the last couple of weeks.  For me it does a much better job than I do without it and it’s faster.  Well worth the price which was about $15.  They had less expensive ones but I thought this one was better.  


Oh hey! I got one of those too! I'm TERRIBLE at folding shirts. At least if I want them to look pretty. The folders help a TON and the "pile of t-shirts" section of my wardrobe looks SO much neater.


Great news @Elizabeth Star! While I have yet to have a date... mostly because I'm still married... the wealth of friends I've made since I came out has been absolutely amazing. I wish you the same.


Over here, I've got my exam for Group Training in a couple of hours. Assuming I pass, I'm going to be qualified to do group fitness classes. Wish me luck!



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Been having more drama with my youngest (mid 20's).  She came to visit, but her car tore up.  She doesn't have a job (does some art stuff on commision) and she and her boyfriend frequently fall out, so she ends up here.  Then they kinda make up, and she goes back.  I mean… it sucks.  I think he's mentally abusive, but what do I know?


She's the youngest of 8 and 6yrs younger than her closest sibling.  So she has issues with being the baby of the family, and does not get along with her mother.  It's partly politics but they're just too much alike.  She probably would benefit from therapy, but no insurance and all… this is America after all.


I paid to fix her car… (I know, I know, but I had the $ and I am her dad and do care about her).

She's back with her boyfriend for now.   I don't have AC and this is NC in July, LOL.  I'm used to it myself.


Lot's of her stuff is still here, and she'll no doubt be back - it's only a 20 min drive.  It's just so emotionally draining.  She has anxiety issues, and I have to try and talk her down at times.  I'm not the most stable person myself, going through 2nd puberty. LOL.


Got a text from her yesterday, and things seem to be okay for now.


Anyway, Just had to talk about it.  And it's not something I like to bring up with the rest of the family.  I expect they think she takes advantage of me.  She probably does, but hey…


On the plus side, I did make it up to the small demonstration on the Court Square protesting the RvW decision.  I seem to be getting more political these days.


It's been an interesting week.

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Hi again


so on msn.com this morning they had a poll with questions regarding transgenders and mostly youth.  Now these are not scientific polls so you decide the validity.  The first few questions were about transgenders in sports.  Needless to say, overwhelming negative response.  Then they switched to medical questions.  One was something like should Medicaid be used, no.  But here’s where it got really interesting.  Should under 18 be allowed blockers, yes, surgeries, yes. The switch from no to yes really surprised me.  And you have to answer the questions and not skip so it was apparently the same people who were negative about sports suddenly shifting to being ok with surgeries and medications.






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5 minutes ago, Willow said:

The switch from no to yes really surprised me.  And you have to answer the questions and not skip so it was apparently the same people who were negative about sports suddenly shifting to being ok with surgeries and medications.


Both questions address fairness. Is it "fair" to compete against cis-women post-transition? That's the hot button question. My personal opinion is "absolutely" because I train women for a living and if you look at naturally athletic women, they're all built just like me. Without that perspective though? The media portrays us as NFL linebackers with 5 o'clock shadow stuffed into a pretty dress. That's where their mind goes.


At the same time, "do people with a medical condition deserve access to life-saving medical procedures?" That's the other question. They answer yes. Why would ANYBODY deny you a procedure that's going to save your life? Most of those kids probably know a trans person and know (at least second-hand) how hard it is. ESPECIALLY doing puberty when your body is doing things that you absolutely do not want. Nobody wants that.


So, not that surprising. It comes down to asking, "Do you want somebody to suffer?" Most people are going to answer, "Of course not."

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Over here, I've got my exam for Group Training in a couple of hours. Assuming I pass, I'm going to be qualified to do group fitness classes. Wish me luck! 


GOOD LUCK!!! You will do great! 

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good luck to u @Jackie C.

and feeling your face situation @Bri2020 that kinda thing still would keep me from being outside


My relationship with E. is become very close yet aromantic.... last trip we went shopping trying on and suggesting clothes for each other, her giving me rec's at Ulta, and then we went back to her place and she died our hair, and even washed mine for me prior.

I am not getting too worried about where else it could go. I feel like I am living a trans girl's dream, especially for a gay trans girl like me. The feelings are deep and almost sister-like. Nothing like I have ever experienced. 

My girl stuff is pretty stocked now aand with the costs of everything going up I am cutting out any unnecessary purchases as I had to dip into my savings to make payments.

I came out to my boss and it was very professional, and I got a new ID and name change started for records. So social transing is pretty much coming to a close and focusing on the medical part and finishing up hair removal are the next goals. 

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Oh oh, I just noticed the page number.  I won’t mention the number in case you are superstitious.  But check it out if you dare.  lol


i checked and I’m not the first to bring up this topic in this forum, religion and the LGBTQI+.


My wife and I are both believers.  I have taught Adult Sunday School which we have been going through Paul’s letters.


The first book I read was about a gay minister who started his own church in California after getting kicked out of a church. I’ve researched on line on the topic and another member of this group invited me to be a contributor in another forum.


For those of you who may be struggling with the concept that being part of the so called Alphabet goes against the word in the Bible, I am in the middle of a book called Unclobber.  It is written by a minister who is CIS, but supports us.  His journey includes being fired by a mega church because on Facebook he cheered when “don’t ask, don’t tell” came out.  He had a revelation about all of us as not being outcasts in the Bible.  His book tells his story AND the so called “Clobber” passages and his journey to debunk them.  He offers compelling evidence that the passages used to deny us are not literally what they say.  He uses newer translations of Hebrew and explanations of key phrases that he believes were not translated correctly back in the 1600s and have yet to be corrected.


if you are interested you can find this book on the UPC bookstore or John Knox Press.  Just search for Unclobber”



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12 minutes ago, Willow said:

Oh oh, I just noticed the page number.  I won’t mention the number in case you are superstitious.  But check it out if you dare.  lol





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Still feeling euphoria over the picnic we had. Since breaking my egg, I'd not spent much time in person with any trans folks—not counting on Zoom, of course. I found it easier recognizing folks from their voices that these strangers with actual legs. Everyone just as friendly as ever. It's now easier to accept myself to have this kind of loving support. Nothing beats a good memory like that. Another picture: 1965197932_transPicnicclose-up.png.47dc2e45b66f5d2aa7f7a9cea3855600.png

That's me in the bowler hat . . . losing my religion.



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Good Morning Everyone.


Your friendly neighborhood weather girl. Right now cloudy and overcast fencometer showing 60. Forecast in the low 80s but I am not sure but it is Wyoming so anything from blue clouds to snow is possible. 


@Willow you do remember basic, were your t-shirts had to be folded just right and be like plywood.


I took the same poll yesterday. IMHO, I believe that trans athletes should be able to participate in any sport. I see it that is a good way to make cis-gender athletes push that much harder if they feel out done by a trans person.


Off today and tomorrow. Planned on continuing hooking up the compressor in the truck. But not sure with the weather.


So far everything is OK with me. Yet, that little monster depression still lingers waiting to rear its ugly head. And it can in a nano second. I am almost pretty much at its mercy.


OH, well the earth continues to turn. and Life goes on.





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Good morning everyone, 


I’m still travel training, Saturday/Sunday in Butler Co. PA. Now on my way to Westampton, NJ to teach Tuesday/Wednesday for the fire department and county hazmat team. I’ll be back home in Westfield, IN on Thursday, starting Vacation on Friday. Camping with the two youngest grandsons in Peru, IN for Circus Week. 

Hotel Coffee and Breakfast in the lobby area. 💁🏼‍♀️

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6 hours ago, Davie said:

Still feeling euphoria over the picnic we had.


@Davie that is great! I am so glad you had a good time there!!!


It has been about a week since I last was here. Had a lot of reading to do to catch up.


I had a good weekend, went dancing up at the Rainbow Mountain. Had two different guys hitting on me. The one was too handsy. He was also throwing around the flattery way too much. I guess a guy will tell you almost anything if he thinks he has a chance with you. LOL but I was a little put off by that.


The second guy I met after the first had left and he was rather shy in a cute kinda way. We danced and he told me he is a local artist. I may see him again. I was even dancing a little with the bartender when things got slow she came over and we chatted a bit and then we were dancing with the bar between us. It was fun.


At one point near the end of the night a couple approached me and the one guy told me he just wanted to tell me that he thought I was a great dancer!! I was shocked but very flattered as I though that he and his partner were both very good dancers. I went home that night (Ahhheeemmmm, sorry morning) feeling rather warm and happy. I think that living as Rachel suits me much better than life as (Deadname). Being on the other side of the hunter / prey, was a very different dynamic. It felt nice to have someone pursuing me for a change. I can get used to that......


Planning a get away on July 23 weekend with another trans woman. We have been chatting a lot online and we want to have some girl time together so we will go down to New Hope enjoy some shopping and then partying that night. I can't imagine this trip to New Hope being better than my last one but a girl can dream Right?


Peace to all of you my friends i hope you have a wonderful week.




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......I'm back.


On our way back from the movie she assumed I was going to stay for dinner. Which is absolutely fine with me but I needed to change. There's no way I was going to sit outside in a partially white dress. Yes, I wore a dress with white on it. OK, so it's off-white with black rose silhouettes. Big surprise I changed into an all black outfit. When we got back to her house, she realized that she had left her water bottle at the movies. Her daughter is a new driver, trying to get her hours in so there was debate over which car she would drive. I was the last car in the driveway so offered to let her drive mine. She was so happy and excited, I loved it. My friend is a bit of a pistol giving driving lessons so I was grateful I was up front, giving kind words of encouragement. We also stopped at the store she works at. Her coworkers seemed a bit surprised that we were hanging out together and one of them made a comment suggesting we were related but then he also made the comment to her "I really like his outfits" referring to me. She quickly corrected him but for a moment I though she was going to punch him in the throat. Thankfully, it didn't come to that but wouldn't put it past her.


When we got back her BF grilled outside while we stayed inside cooking. Before it was time to leave she made it a point to tell me she was off again on Wednesday and I am coming over for dinner. So apparently I now have plans for Wednesday night.


It's really interesting watching things progress. There was a lot more that happened but isn't forum appropriate. There's always more to the story.


I'm going to cut this off here before it becomes another book.


Note: I have noticed lately that I have been pulling away from all the cis-heteronormative people I know. I just don't have anything to offer them anymore and they just don't want/try to understand my life, love and relationships.












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Good evening


laundry is done and all put away.  No new boxes but I got my Mac up and running again.  I have three external drives I need to get out of storage and attach them and get a printer up and running as well.


I’ve made a fair amount of progress in Unclobber today.  The toughest section to comprehend has been read but I still have to go back and check some of the specific passages.


@KymmieL I was very fortunate in basic.  Our flight had a TI that had been around long enough that he wasn’t out to show the ABs how tough he could be.  Not to say he didn’t have his requirements.  Our beds had to be according to his expectations, very tight and perfect 45 degree hospital corners.  Our foot lockers had to have everything in an exact location and look brand new.  That was easy, he told us one person was to supply the shaving cream, razor and soap each night.  It was to be tossed out when everyone was done, and the supplier placed new in his footlocker.  Clothing had to be perfect and hours were spent getting enough lawyer of shoe polish on three pairs to get them sufficiently shined.  Only the top undershirt had to be starched, same with boxers.  The rest had to be perfectly folded.  The starched were never worn.  Same way with fatigues one pair could stand up by itself and would break if they were bent too much, but was never worn the rest were starched and pressed but were able to be worn.


My basic was mid December through the end of January.  We ran in chucka boots, and did not have any PT clothing issued.  6 weeks we never missed PT for any reason.  I must say, I pitied the guys that stayed in Lackland for AP or SP training.  I went to Lowery, Denver for the next year.  From night one there, I was treated like a real human being.  We got Class A passes the first morning I was there.  Both at Lackland and Lowery I was in old WWII barracks but I didn’t care.



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Our TI was a Cop. So he was to regulations all the way. I was at Lackland for basic from Nov through Jan. Spent T-day, My B-day, Xmas and NewYears in basic. Had town pass on new years eve day. but then I just moved about a 1/2 mile to the SP academy. Then to Camp Bullis about 30 miles west of Lackland off I-10. SO spent 6 months in San Antonio. Luckily, my parents where moving while I was in the academy. My dad came down for graduation and drive my car. So all through Air Base Ground Defense I had my car.


Well, I broke into the piggy bank and took some $$$ out of retirement. For closing. I should be able to scrape up the rest. So as of right now, we are going to be moving in Aug.  




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9 hours ago, Willow said:

Only the top undershirt had to be starched, same with boxers.  The rest had to be perfectly folded.  The starched were never worn.  Same way with fatigues one pair could stand up by itself and would break if they were bent too much, but was never worn the rest were starched and pressed but were able to be worn.


LOL!  That brings back memories of my Basic.  Our lockers had five drawers.  Only the top two were inspected.  So everyone bought extra socks to keep in the top drawer, perfectly rolled, never worn.  (I don't remember what else was in the top drawers, but it was all for display only. :) )  *Sigh*  Spit-shining my boots while watching Nixon's resignation speech...  The memories!

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30 minutes ago, KathyLauren said:

LOL!  That brings back memories of my Basic.

Wow.  Being Army it was Ft. Bragg in January.  We had the WW2 barracks.  I was a couple of years older than a lot of the guys, and in pretty good shape so the physical part was easy for me.  Basic was more of a pain in the [you know] than anything else.  It seemed like mostly to get you used to being harassed.  Never did get leave.

We "graduated" and I got strait on the plane for Ft Sill and artillery.  

(I could have stayed at Bragg if I had wanted to lean how to jump out of airplanes - I didn't. Still seems like a dumb thing to do.)

After finishing the artillery training, I got sent to Special Weapons school and ended up in Europe instead of Nam.

I don't regret serving, but it was not the high point of my life.

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    • VickySGV
      I was in a situation earlier today where I was overhearing a Homo/Transphobic rant from one person to another who disagreed with him .  The phobic one turned to me, yes ME!!" and asked if I agreed with him.  I simply told him NO. He asked me why I could disagree with his position and I told him flat out that I was under no obligation to do so.  He could not let that one go!! So I told him a very slight untruth , that the answer was a course I teach on the subject would cost him $75 per hour with two hour minimum up front.  He decided not to pay the money for the educational experience. { I usually ask for a $50 per hour payable to my LGBTQ Center which was the fib. }  He did not "read" or "clock" me as Trans, but he got away from me as soon as he could.  The person who had been talking to him gave me a big grin and waved as he followed Mr. H8 out the door.  No sign he had made me as Trans either, but by now I don't care unless it puts me in danger as I was first alert to if I answered Mr H8.  I have NO OBLIGATION to instruct people who do not want to listen, I just do not.  I love setting boundaries.   The main point really for telling this (which has happened a few times before where I did not use the teaching fee statement) is that when we are out as our best selves and are comfortable and dignified, although pleasant in that self, we are not going to be really seen as Trans even by those who are avowed H8ers.  This guy had a cartoonish idea of what LGBT people looked like, and I was pretty sure he had half a T-byte of CD Fetish Porn and did not know he was looking at a bona fide Trans woman.  As I told him, I am not under any obligation to teach him for free when he has paid so much (porn is not cheap) for misinformation.  If we hold our dignity and act assured in public there are few that will have a problem with us at all.  I have been out 12 years by now and while careful about where I go within reason it is ordinary caution for women in general that I follow.  I do give Trans 101 lectures and have fun doing it but the people I do it for WANT to learn about us and not call us names.  The information I give is based on Five Sense Science with enough sensitivity for close held beliefs of my students that I can overcome those as needed.  But even there I do set boundaries and stay in them myself.
    • VickySGV
      Many Trans activists that I know consider that behavior to be a form of Violence against us.  Accidents do happen and I evaluate them as they come.  Hanging up the phone, if that is how you talk to them would work for a bit.  Sending them an actual U.S.P.S. letter setting YOUR BOUNDARIES would be highly appropriate, but do get ready for some blow back on it.  Your Gender Therapist can be a big help in strategies to deal with this too.
    • MayBea
      So I've come out to my family for about a a year and a half. And I've been on hrt for over a year. And some of my family still struggles with misgendering me and deadnaming me? My sister seems to be trying but she constantly makes mistakes even during my last visit a few weeks ago(and has misgendered me in public without even thinking about it several times). My cousin did fine for a while, until he started randomly deadnaming me and misgendering me the last few months(all on the phone to be clear). Luckily my friends who known me before transition treat me perfectly. I guess my question is, how do I handle this? Being misgendered and deadnamed is painful for me but I try to remember how long they knew me before my transition and try to understand it might be difficult for them to adjust. I do correct them and they seem to realize they messed up and apologize. But it keeps happening. And I'm not sure how to talk to them about it(if I even should). Am I being unreasonable in being hurt by them?
    • Mmindy
      Good questions Mark, and thank you for being a caring enough person to think about and prepare to meet your cousin. I know she will be very proud of you, when you handle the meeting with love and respect.   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Carolyn Marie
      Mark, you did a good thing in joining this site; it shows you to be an ally and a thoughtful, caring person.   I can't think of a single thing that @Vidanjalididn't cover expertly.  I could not have said it better.  If you think of other questions, or wish to ask anything of anyone off line, once you have five posts you can PM anyone, but you don't have to wait to talk privately to any staff member here.  Good luck to you and your cousin.   Carolyn Marie
    • heatherd
      He will be in for a long time based on his record.Judge is looking at that too.I credit the prosecutor not giving up on me including the police.
    • Vidanjali
      @MarkCT that's kind of you to reach out to this community to ask such questions. Just based on your willingness to learn and be supportive, I am sure you will succeed.    My understanding is that your cousin transitioned male to female. In that case, she's always been "she". Because she was socialized as male, he/him pronouns had been used in the past. But now that she's discovered she's a woman, she should always be referred to as she (unless she tells you otherwise - some individuals use various pronouns for various reasons). If referring to her before transition, still use she/her, but if the context is important to what you're saying, you can specify "before she transitioned" - don't say "when she was he" or "before she became a woman" or "before she turned trans" or anything like that. Think of her as always having been female, but having worn a male mask for several years. Now, she's removed the mask and is her genuine self.    If there's any doubt, just ask her what are her pronouns. She will probably be more appreciative of you asking rather than assuming.   If you slip and say the wrong thing, just apologize and correct yourself, then move on - don't linger on the mistake potentially making it more awkward and putting her in the position of consoling you. If you hear someone else use the wrong pronoun, be a good ally and correct them matter-of-factly. It sometimes takes practice to adapt to a person's new pronouns. There's a learning curve and it requires patience and compassion.    As for her wife, treat that like anyone's ex-partner situation. If it's a given that they're still friends, no harm in mentioning her. If there's obvious tension, don't mention it unless she brings it up. But don't assume to refer to her as her ex's former "husband" as she may or may not be comfortable with that male-gendered title. It's safer to use gender neutral terms like partner or spouse until you know for sure how a person prefers to refer to themself.    Likewise with personal stuff, just use etiquette you'd use with any other person. But, particularly with a trans individual, the details of her transition are her business only. For example, it's not appropriate to ask someone what meds they take, or what surgeries they've had or not had, etc. Don't treat her as exotic. Just chat with her like you would with anyone else. If she wants to share personal stuff, it's her choice.    In big family gatherings, be a good ally and keep an eye on her if you're worried. If you notice she's uncomfortable in a conversation, interject and change the subject or use an excuse to take her away from it. You'll see it's more about common sense.    Again, good on you for caring and asking. I hope you have a beautiful time with your family. 
    • Mmindy
      G'Day @Jamey-Heather I hope all is well with you and yours. I love that this forum has a global reach.   @WillowI've spent time in all of the lower 48 states thanks to Fire Departments, State Police, and Emergency Management. aka Homeland Security. Oh and I can't leave out our Armed Forces, they had us in for Base Management and Hazardous Materials Response to Bulk Deliveries. We always managed to see some local sites while traveling around teaching. Now I'm taking my wife to the most interesting locations. We hope to add Alaska, and Hawaii, completing all 50 states for me. I've also been to several locations in Mexico, and Canada when I was a Safety Manager for a Chemical Tank Truck Company. We're also looking into the British Isles, Dunkirk, and Normandy in France.   Well today's yard 👩‍🌾 work was enough exercise for a couple of days. They're calling for rain and high winds tonight. Saturday we return to normal February Winter Weather.    Hugs,   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Glad that there's been some progress. Hopefully things will continue to improve over time.
    • Vidanjali
      Great to hear that @Russ Fenrisson . Any progress is a relief and helps to strengthen one's faith that things can be even better. 
    • Willow
      Hi @Jamey-Heather.  Nice to see you.   @Mmindy  that sounds like an interesting trip.  I’ve never been to either state. Actually I’m down to about 10 I haven’t been to yet.  And I don’t mean stopped in an airport but spent at least an hour.  I’ve also been to the majority of the US territories.  Just not American Samoa although I spent several hours in Samoa and in Okinawa and I don’t know that I’ve stepped foot in Guam.  I think we will try to close out Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee and Arkansas, then Minnesota and Wisconsin this summer.  That leaves me with Alaska.  Places in Canada I’d like to go are Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island.    Willow
    • Russ Fenrisson
      Just wanted to address a slight change in the situation.   Things are about the same but I was able to come up with a nickname that is pleasing to both me and those around me. The new nickname has been used on and off, but at least I can see an effort to try to make me feel accomodated.   I also wrote down my thoughts in a letter and after getting my feelings out, I felt a lot better. I probably won't need to use it now but if there is a time I feel not understood again, I always have it to use to get my thoughts out in a clearer manner.   I want to thank everyone again for responding and providing me with advice. I really appreciate it.
    • Russ Fenrisson
      I've also wondered about the same thing, especially since a lot of media I see, if they include a trans character at all, is usually transfeminine. I think it really boils down to what @Carolyn Mariesaid: how said individuals are perceived in society and the acceptibility of it. It's a shame transwomen and transfeminine people are made to feel bad for who they are or to be afraid of how they identify or choose to present themselves. This might be why you see more stories concerning them. To spread awareness and to show transwomen are not scary and are people just like everybody else.   In regards to transmen and transmasculine people, I've done much reading and thinking, and have come to the conclusion that perhaps such individuals are not explored or discussed is because of a private, safety factor. I've read more and more individuals have been coming out as FtM compared to recent years, such as in the 90s or early 2000's, and they may not be as transparent or as seen as MtF individuals just because of the fact they could face ridicule or repercussion for coming out or exploring their identity. It appears the expression of women is much more flexible nowadays than it was before, but that doesn't mean it is all inclusive. It probably just depends on where you are and the kind of atmosphere that is present.   What I always think is, whether I know it or not, I've at least run into someone like myself without knowing it. It provides a sense of mystery but it's at least a little bit comforting in these strange times.
    • MarkCT
      Hi All   This is my first, and in many was I hope my last, post on this forum but here goes and apologies in advance if it is a bit long winded but I think you’d need to know the full picture if you are going to give me any tips, which I do hope you will.    Back in 1963 my mum’s family (her mum, dad and numerous much younger siblings) emigrated to Sydney as “£10 Pommes”. I was two years old at the time and we were due to join them the following year but for various reasons we didn’t go. My dad had no family apart from his parents, who died many years ago. So, it has always been important to me, my wife and our (now grown up) children to visit the family regularly.     So now we get to the main point. I’ve always been saddened that, whilst everyone of my Aussie family have been so excited to see us when we visit there has always been one exception; a first cousin who was really nice but always seemed very standoffish and distant. You can imagine my surprise when she announced that she had transitioned! I’m not great at social media but my wife contacted her and they converse on and off, not a lot but as much as before she transitioned.    But now with Covid out of the way 🤞we are planning our next trip so (as my cousin is not on the main family WhatsApp group) I wrote to her. I said we (my wife and I) were going to be in Sydney and Brisbane, where most of the family live, but that Ballarat really was going to be just too much of a stretch- especially as she is the only one who lives there. I was amazed and so happy when she immediately wrote back and said she’d make sure she came to see us (if you look at the map and at the cost of flights you’ll realise that is no small commitment).    Now this may seem obvious to you but it is all totally new territory to me and my wife so we are worried about inadvertently saying something that might be hurtful.  so any tips would be most welcome. I have some particular questions:   In chatting do we always use feminine pronouns or do we use masculine when talking about the time before transition (ie our previous visits etc)?   Do we talk about his/her(? )wife, who has now gone her own way, although I suspect they are still friends?    Do we steer well clear of discussing anything at all personal I’m thinking of both emotional and practical issues)? Or perhaps my wife could whereas I shouldn’t?   What do we do about our normal big family gatherings? We’d love her to be there but don’t obviously want to put any undue pressure. We do see on Facebook that some of the family are very kind and accepting but in the cases of a good many others we just don’t know.  Thats just a few of the questions we have but any other comments or tips would be most welcome before we get on the plane from Heathrow at the end of the month.    Thanks 😊    Mark    
    • MiraF
      I think if anyone will take over the US as führer, it will be DeSantis. Trump is already being removed from his position as head of the republicans, with people like fox news and Breitbart saying DeSantis is the future of the party. Considering Trump's incompetence and Ron's actions so far, he may actually be worse.   Apart from that, I agree with you 100%.
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