Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator
12 hours ago, KymmieL said:

hope that everyone has been having a better time than I have. So I wait for the hordes of locust, or The super volcano i Yellowstone to erupt. That would just clinch it.

 

To be fair, if Yellowstone erupts, we're ALL going to have a read bad day.

 

All I'm going to say otherwise is that your life isn't going to get better until you make it better. No magic fairy is going to come along and make everything right. The thing that worked the best for me is when my therapist asked me, "What kind of woman is Jackie?" I've been moving towards that ever since. The second best advice I got is, "If life hands you an opportunity? Take it!" Be on the lookout for ways to make your life better. When you find one, grab onto it and don't let go!

 

Good luck with the sheltie! I had one growing up and, while I vibe better with cats, she was a very good dog.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Replies 18.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    1586

  • KymmieL

    1289

  • Jackie C.

    937

  • Mmindy

    915

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

On 7/30/2022 at 11:22 AM, DylanB1452 said:

Morning! 

 

Good luck with finals JJ! I'm currently filling out some college applications 😬🥲

Good luck! I hope it goes well, my friend!

Link to comment

Hey everyone! 

finallmade a good at-home ice coffee. I keep trying to not make my ice coffee too sweet, but it ends up being too sweet. Finally made it less-sweet! 

What is it about waking up and making my own coffee that starts my day off better? ❤️ 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

All I'm going to say otherwise is that your life isn't going to get better until you make it better. No magic fairy is going to come along and make everything right. The thing that worked the best for me is when my therapist asked me, "What kind of woman is Jackie?" I've been moving towards that ever since. The second best advice I got is, "If life hands you an opportunity? Take it!" Be on the lookout for ways to make your life better. When you find one, grab onto it and don't let go!

Excellent advice, @Jackie C..

The best I got was from my sponsor, who after hearing me complain endlessly, asked me: "Well, what do you want?" which I thought was the most ridiculous question I'd ever heard. He kept repeating it until I burst into tears. I'd never asked that of myself. Now, it's the first thing I ask. I believe my higher power gives me "wants" as her suggestions for my life and dreams. AND she's been right. It simplifies and directs every question I have every day. It's like a perfect cuppa tea with magic dust. Mmmm . . . .

hugs,

Davie 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well to make life bearable for me. I will not be getting a sheltie yet. Things did get so nice today. At about 1:30 we lost power at the store. Completely, our company is so money hungry. We had to stay open. even when we couldn't look up anything and taking CC was a pure nightmare. I refused to.  We had to stay open till 8pm. I know if it would have been a month ago. it would have been light later so we would have stayed open till normal. Thankfully when the power dies so does the phones.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Good (late) morning! I did some errands, but the lack of coffee is blegh.  

Hope everyone is a having a good day! I got some books at the thrift store and I am excited to start reading them. ❤️ 

Link to comment
17 hours ago, JJ Orange said:

Good (late) morning! I did some errands, but the lack of coffee is blegh.  

Hope everyone is a having a good day! I got some books at the thrift store and I am excited to start reading them. ❤️ 

WHAT!  no coffee?  *says under her breath*.  "I blame the parents"

Link to comment

Good morning everyone,

 

I'm enjoying a pot of home brew Folgers Black Silk, after being on the road drinking warm hotel coffee, and burnt training room coffee, at a major refinery in Wood River, IL most of this week.

 

Best wishes, positive thoughts for everyone,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment

Emotions Diary #9

— I’m feeling like a liar and a phony in two groups of my friends this week. In a group with my oldest friends on Wednesday we had a lively discussion and a good time for almost two hours. And on Tuesday I again had a great time but with all my trans friends for two hours. Back-to-back. Two separate days each I enjoyed myself. In each and with both groups I felt happy and liberated to be accepted and trusted to speak freely and to listen and accept and trust others—in those moments, within each. Sounds fine, right?

But immediately after each event, I felt depressed and angry with myself for putting on a phony mask face and pretending to be someone I wasn’t. It felt like instead of feeling good about both events, I felt awful about them. I felt like a liar and phony to both somehow. And I felt I’d lied about who I was with both groups and to myself. Ouch, that hurts. It feels  like I don’t know who I am and that I’m hurting others by my inability to be honest and caring. Once again: Ouch. Is this just a normal day in Non-Binary Transville or something else?

And then today my friend emails me from Columbia:
A photo of her newborn baby. Lucas, the beautiful.
Just for the moment, I’m reborn, my own baby is me.

— Davie

 

Even bumpy roads show promise.

Link to comment

@Davie I get what you mean. It's like an old fashioned wooden roller coaster with all the modern twists and inversions. For myself, I have never actually had circles of friends, just acquaintances and co-workers. Had to try to fit in with different people within the groups, without really being myself. Later saying to myself, "Why did I say or agree/disagree with this or that?" Why can't I just be my authentic self, and let the chips fall where they may? Which is worse, that fear, or the anguish of feeling like a phony?

Link to comment

Good morning everyone 

 

I haven’t posted anything for a few days because I haven’t really had anything to say.  But I have been on here and read every ones posts.

 

we’ve been drinking green mountain dark lately. Lots of doctors appointments.  Finally got new Epipens. I have one in my purse so I won’t be without again.  My hand where I got stung is still swollen and still itches sometimes.  I never had this reaction before but I’ve been told it will get worse each time I get stung.

 

it is supposed to be cooler and less humid starting today abundant throughout the weekend.  It also supposed to rain or storm some but so far that hasn’t happened.  Weave been fortunate that no hurricanes have formed.  The weather over the ocean coming off Africa has been blocking them.  I know this is very unscientific but that actually concerns me that when they do start rolling there will be one right after another and bad ones.    
 

Hugs

 

Willow

Link to comment

@Davie @Mmindy I know where you are coming from.  Stuck in the middle.  Some know the real you, but most don’t.  It’s hardest when you feel you have to live in that zone.  You aren’t being true to yourself, or either group of friends or acquaintances.

 

I had to get past that and just go with being true to myself.  I feel it ultimately reduces the stress and depression associated with being transgender.

 

Willow

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good Morning everyone. I too haven't had much to say. Things are still getting unpacked and sorted and pitched. We should have started a month ago. Hope to be able to get the wagon in the garage today. Opening up a parking spot. our youngest got a note on his truck yesterday. One of the neighbors complaining about him parking in front of their house, and about the amount of cars we have.

 

Had an appointment yesterday. I am looking to increase my VA disability. Of course, Kymmie went. hope it went good. 

 

 

@Willow I know also were you are all coming from. Very few if any know the real me. I don't think anyone wants to be that good a friend to learn that. That was even true before I came out trans. The story of my life.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

OK, @Davie, @Hannah Renee, @Willow and @KymmieL... I'm confused. The very, very real me is on display in all her glory since I've transitioned. I've made a TON of friends. As I have no filter, they know me very well and I've had them comment on my energy and the way I light up a room.

 

Is it being unwilling to be yourself? I mean I hang in some very queer spaces, but I am always, always true to myself. I'm honestly asking if you could elaborate a bit because I'm apparently a bit slow and absolutely do not get it unless it's coming from an inability to express at home or express around certain people?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Good morning, everyone! 
Ice coffee is a-go and started to look at the info one of my professors posted for the class. Any suggestions to keep my study area organized? By noon it's a complete mess and it distracts me. 

I start most of my classes Monday so I am trying to organize my schedule for the semester throughout this weekend. 

Feeling very tired and sometimes my brain wants me to drink coffee 24/7. 

Anyways, I hope everyone has a nice weekend and stays safe! ❤️ 

Link to comment

So another girl asked me to trade phone numbers at my women's meeting. This is very strange for me because now I have several women friends and a trans woman, who I feel I can trust and hang out with....but I also am learning each relation is different and after all, they are just people too.

It might be good for me to hang out with other women and explore a little because I was getting pretty hung up on my BFF in the beginning. I am uncertain if a little of that was "validation" and acceptance from an attractive cis woman I had respect for...like a trans first crush type deal. So by now, I have took her off the pedestal a little because I realize she has some hangups herself. I just try not to assume anything about anyone anymore because most, if not all of my women friends have gone through therapy or treatment programs or have some kind of trauma and it reminds me to be softer and more patient and compassionate with myself and others.

 

Link to comment
9 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

OK, @Davie, @Hannah Renee, @Willow and @KymmieL... I'm confused. The very, very real me is on display in all her glory since I've transitioned. I've made a TON of friends. As I have no filter, they know me very well and I've had them comment on my energy and the way I light up a room.

 

Is it being unwilling to be yourself? I mean I hang in some very queer spaces, but I am always, always true to myself. I'm honestly asking if you could elaborate a bit because I'm apparently a bit slow and absolutely do not get it unless it's coming from an inability to express at home or express around certain people?

 

Hugs!

Other than the subject of not having friends, my reference was mostly in reference to my previous life. I was basically a people pleaser, not specifically looking for friends. I couldn't acknowledge or accept my own self, my value. Once I finally recovered from a chronic case of cranialrectumitis a few years ago, well, my world changed. I am not willing to be anything/anyone but MYSELF, Hannah Renee. I have to make certain small concessions, on an occasional basis, regarding how I dress when I'm with our youngest (special needs, limited capability to understand).  My wife was extremely PO'd when she found out I was changing my name before the divorce was final - not intentional on my part, BTW. Well, she wanted the divorce, "go live your own life," and, dammit, that's what I'm doing. She doesn't have to like it, nor does anyone else.

 

I've posted updates and a couple of recent photos on a website that allows connections with high school classmates from half a century ago. Getting a lot more visits in the last month than in all the previous 18 months. My father was a prominent member of the community, and though he is long gone, and would be very much against what I'm doing, I'm damn proud of who I am - Hannah, day in and day out - and I'm proclaiming it to my world.

Link to comment

@Jackie C.  I guess the point I was trying to make got lost.  Like @Davie and @Hannah Renee talking about not having friends or friends that fully knew or understood their being transgender.  I know I went through a period of being conflicted.  Some people and my family knew, but I hide being transgender from others.  I had two groups.  Those that knew and those that didn’t.  I was trying to let everyone know but that wasn’t working.  Now I am fully out.  If someone asks I’ll tell them honestly but everyone sees me as a woman now. Only a few know, but everyone sees me as I am.

 

until you come out to yourself and everyone full time, you won’t feel good about yourself.

 

Right or wrong, that’s what I was trying to say.

 

Willow

Link to comment
35 minutes ago, Willow said:

 

until you come out to yourself and everyone full time, you won’t feel good about yourself.

 

 

Very well said

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Willow said:

until you come out to yourself and everyone full time, you won’t feel good about yourself.

Yup.

The two tiered thing doesn't work very well for me.  Just gotta rip off that bandaid.  Serious ouch.

Link to comment

We made it to another Saturday.  That means this week is over and tomorrow starts a new one.

 

Funny thing about that, I suppose we follow the Jewish week instead of the Christian.  Since we always start on Sunday instead of ending on Sunday.

 

Thank you for  the appreciation of my comments.  Like I said, the first time it may not have expressed exactly what I was thinking.

 

We need to go to the boat today.  I want to get pictures of it to put it up for sale (although, I’d like to put its sails up) lol.  Still have some pickup to do to make that happen.

 

really nice night and day, turned off the AC and opened some windows last night.  It was in the 60s which is pretty unusual for August here.

 

8 go5 to get my shower and get going. High tide is noon and I want to flip my boat around, stern in.

 

I needed depth to do that.

 

hugs

 

Willow

Link to comment

Morning, friends!🌞 
I hope everyone is having a great weekend. 
School is upon me and I am excited to start again! I am also in the middle of making coffee and starting my weekend morning routine. Still waiting for my local LGBT+ center to open 

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Willow said:

That means this week is over and tomorrow starts a new one.

Not till sundown.  But this is a discussion for another thread.

 

Made my usual appearance uptown today.  Got some okra at the Farmers Market, had some beer at my usual place.  A couple of ladies introduced themselves, and I saw an old friend.  He made a remark about my purse.  I'm not sure he really gets it.  But we're both a bit hard of hearing, so these conversations can get interesting.  

When I first started going fem in public he said "So you're wearing dresses now?"  I just shrugged.  Shrugging is my usual response in these situations.  

Back when I was first trying to figure things out, I ran into a woman I knew in the check-out line at the Kmart.  I was buying some camies.  She looked at me - I just shrugged.  Yeah, caught red handed.  Whatcha gonna do?  This is not that big of a town.

Link to comment

I'm going to one of those "murder mystery" dinner things in a few hours. It's a fundraiser for my local lgbt+ organization, the theme is a "gay wedding". It sounded really cool, and I'd been wanting to go to one of those murder mystery things for awhile, so I signed up. Since I know this is a safe accepting group, and a safe private venue (and because even people I'm not out to know full fell that there's nothing in heaven or hell that will ever get me to wear a suit), so I'll be going as Heather.

 

It'll only be my second time out in girl-mode. And there's still a lot of firsts involved that I've been nervous about, not the least of which being that this was my first time getting struck by the panic of "OMG, I have no idea what I'm going to wear! I don't have anything to wear!!!" lol. I think I have it pretty much figured out now though. I ended up getting a new dress for the occasion. I like it a lot, but there's a couple things I'm a little apprehensive about. It has a nice side-slit, but on me, the side-slit ends up opening wider than I would prefer. It should at least work well enough, though. It does have a built-in, what I thought was a skirt, underneath for modesty, turns out it's really built-in shorts like a jumpsuit...which is going to be problematic for going to the restroom...Unless I can quickly figure out a way to convert it to skirt without making too big a mess of things, but I tend to not be very handy, so I dunno about attempting that...Speaking of restrooms, I don't know whether there will be a unisex one, so even with an lgbt+ crowd, I'm hoping I just won't need to go. But knowing me that seems unlikely.

 

Tried to do my nails last night for this, but they turned out an absolute horror mess. I'll have to undo that, I give up on them for now. I hope I still have some nail polish remover... If not, I'll have to make do with rubbing alcohol. (Didn't think that one through.) Been worried about just how much I have to do to get ready for this, and make the timing all work, and how in the world my ADHD is going to actually allow me to get everything done. And in a perfect case of bad timing, "ye olde impostor syndrome" has been back hitting me again lately. And I'm even worrying about how to carry my purse without it looking weirdly awkward or manly! And "is this purse too big?" But I guess it needs to be because I wanted to bring a change of shoes, just in case. I wonder how much of this might be the E hitting me? Umm, maybe it's obvious by now, but I've been maybe just a teensy bit "frazzled nervous wreck panic mode".  😬

 

No way I'll let myself back out of it though! I'd hate myself too much if I did that. I'm just looking forward to being DONE with all this "getting ready" stuff and just be there already.

 

Lemme see if I can find that one favorite image of mine that I think sums things up very well...(I have no idea where it's from, I found it in some trans subreddit)...Ah yes, here it is...

 

dpzzl76wg6361.png.fe42d0a2ad615207d890540207f8c2f7.png

 

😆

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 62 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Mmindy
    • EllisOS
    • heatherd
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      77.7k
    • Total Posts
      731.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      10,484
    • Most Online
      8,356

    sir0gay
    Newest Member
    sir0gay
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bobbi-BI
      Bobbi-BI
      (74 years old)
    2. doni
      doni
      (63 years old)
    3. fawn
      fawn
    4. Lilly1993
      Lilly1993
      (30 years old)
    5. owen9
      owen9
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      Many Trans activists that I know consider that behavior to be a form of Violence against us.  Accidents do happen and I evaluate them as they come.  Hanging up the phone, if that is how you talk to them would work for a bit.  Sending them an actual U.S.P.S. letter setting YOUR BOUNDARIES would be highly appropriate, but do get ready for some blow back on it.  Your Gender Therapist can be a big help in strategies to deal with this too.
    • MayBea
      So I've come out to my family for about a a year and a half. And I've been on hrt for over a year. And some of my family still struggles with misgendering me and deadnaming me? My sister seems to be trying but she constantly makes mistakes even during my last visit a few weeks ago(and has misgendered me in public without even thinking about it several times). My cousin did fine for a while, until he started randomly deadnaming me and misgendering me the last few months(all on the phone to be clear). Luckily my friends who known me before transition treat me perfectly. I guess my question is, how do I handle this? Being misgendered and deadnamed is painful for me but I try to remember how long they knew me before my transition and try to understand it might be difficult for them to adjust. I do correct them and they seem to realize they messed up and apologize. But it keeps happening. And I'm not sure how to talk to them about it(if I even should). Am I being unreasonable in being hurt by them?
    • Mmindy
      Good questions Mark, and thank you for being a caring enough person to think about and prepare to meet your cousin. I know she will be very proud of you, when you handle the meeting with love and respect.   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Carolyn Marie
      Mark, you did a good thing in joining this site; it shows you to be an ally and a thoughtful, caring person.   I can't think of a single thing that @Vidanjalididn't cover expertly.  I could not have said it better.  If you think of other questions, or wish to ask anything of anyone off line, once you have five posts you can PM anyone, but you don't have to wait to talk privately to any staff member here.  Good luck to you and your cousin.   Carolyn Marie
    • heatherd
      He will be in for a long time based on his record.Judge is looking at that too.I credit the prosecutor not giving up on me including the police.
    • Vidanjali
      @MarkCT that's kind of you to reach out to this community to ask such questions. Just based on your willingness to learn and be supportive, I am sure you will succeed.    My understanding is that your cousin transitioned male to female. In that case, she's always been "she". Because she was socialized as male, he/him pronouns had been used in the past. But now that she's discovered she's a woman, she should always be referred to as she (unless she tells you otherwise - some individuals use various pronouns for various reasons). If referring to her before transition, still use she/her, but if the context is important to what you're saying, you can specify "before she transitioned" - don't say "when she was he" or "before she became a woman" or "before she turned trans" or anything like that. Think of her as always having been female, but having worn a male mask for several years. Now, she's removed the mask and is her genuine self.    If there's any doubt, just ask her what are her pronouns. She will probably be more appreciative of you asking rather than assuming.   If you slip and say the wrong thing, just apologize and correct yourself, then move on - don't linger on the mistake potentially making it more awkward and putting her in the position of consoling you. If you hear someone else use the wrong pronoun, be a good ally and correct them matter-of-factly. It sometimes takes practice to adapt to a person's new pronouns. There's a learning curve and it requires patience and compassion.    As for her wife, treat that like anyone's ex-partner situation. If it's a given that they're still friends, no harm in mentioning her. If there's obvious tension, don't mention it unless she brings it up. But don't assume to refer to her as her ex's former "husband" as she may or may not be comfortable with that male-gendered title. It's safer to use gender neutral terms like partner or spouse until you know for sure how a person prefers to refer to themself.    Likewise with personal stuff, just use etiquette you'd use with any other person. But, particularly with a trans individual, the details of her transition are her business only. For example, it's not appropriate to ask someone what meds they take, or what surgeries they've had or not had, etc. Don't treat her as exotic. Just chat with her like you would with anyone else. If she wants to share personal stuff, it's her choice.    In big family gatherings, be a good ally and keep an eye on her if you're worried. If you notice she's uncomfortable in a conversation, interject and change the subject or use an excuse to take her away from it. You'll see it's more about common sense.    Again, good on you for caring and asking. I hope you have a beautiful time with your family. 
    • Mmindy
      G'Day @Jamey-Heather I hope all is well with you and yours. I love that this forum has a global reach.   @WillowI've spent time in all of the lower 48 states thanks to Fire Departments, State Police, and Emergency Management. aka Homeland Security. Oh and I can't leave out our Armed Forces, they had us in for Base Management and Hazardous Materials Response to Bulk Deliveries. We always managed to see some local sites while traveling around teaching. Now I'm taking my wife to the most interesting locations. We hope to add Alaska, and Hawaii, completing all 50 states for me. I've also been to several locations in Mexico, and Canada when I was a Safety Manager for a Chemical Tank Truck Company. We're also looking into the British Isles, Dunkirk, and Normandy in France.   Well today's yard 👩‍🌾 work was enough exercise for a couple of days. They're calling for rain and high winds tonight. Saturday we return to normal February Winter Weather.    Hugs,   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Glad that there's been some progress. Hopefully things will continue to improve over time.
    • Vidanjali
      Great to hear that @Russ Fenrisson . Any progress is a relief and helps to strengthen one's faith that things can be even better. 
    • Willow
      Hi @Jamey-Heather.  Nice to see you.   @Mmindy  that sounds like an interesting trip.  I’ve never been to either state. Actually I’m down to about 10 I haven’t been to yet.  And I don’t mean stopped in an airport but spent at least an hour.  I’ve also been to the majority of the US territories.  Just not American Samoa although I spent several hours in Samoa and in Okinawa and I don’t know that I’ve stepped foot in Guam.  I think we will try to close out Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee and Arkansas, then Minnesota and Wisconsin this summer.  That leaves me with Alaska.  Places in Canada I’d like to go are Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island.    Willow
    • Russ Fenrisson
      Just wanted to address a slight change in the situation.   Things are about the same but I was able to come up with a nickname that is pleasing to both me and those around me. The new nickname has been used on and off, but at least I can see an effort to try to make me feel accomodated.   I also wrote down my thoughts in a letter and after getting my feelings out, I felt a lot better. I probably won't need to use it now but if there is a time I feel not understood again, I always have it to use to get my thoughts out in a clearer manner.   I want to thank everyone again for responding and providing me with advice. I really appreciate it.
    • Russ Fenrisson
      I've also wondered about the same thing, especially since a lot of media I see, if they include a trans character at all, is usually transfeminine. I think it really boils down to what @Carolyn Mariesaid: how said individuals are perceived in society and the acceptibility of it. It's a shame transwomen and transfeminine people are made to feel bad for who they are or to be afraid of how they identify or choose to present themselves. This might be why you see more stories concerning them. To spread awareness and to show transwomen are not scary and are people just like everybody else.   In regards to transmen and transmasculine people, I've done much reading and thinking, and have come to the conclusion that perhaps such individuals are not explored or discussed is because of a private, safety factor. I've read more and more individuals have been coming out as FtM compared to recent years, such as in the 90s or early 2000's, and they may not be as transparent or as seen as MtF individuals just because of the fact they could face ridicule or repercussion for coming out or exploring their identity. It appears the expression of women is much more flexible nowadays than it was before, but that doesn't mean it is all inclusive. It probably just depends on where you are and the kind of atmosphere that is present.   What I always think is, whether I know it or not, I've at least run into someone like myself without knowing it. It provides a sense of mystery but it's at least a little bit comforting in these strange times.
    • MarkCT
      Hi All   This is my first, and in many was I hope my last, post on this forum but here goes and apologies in advance if it is a bit long winded but I think you’d need to know the full picture if you are going to give me any tips, which I do hope you will.    Back in 1963 my mum’s family (her mum, dad and numerous much younger siblings) emigrated to Sydney as “£10 Pommes”. I was two years old at the time and we were due to join them the following year but for various reasons we didn’t go. My dad had no family apart from his parents, who died many years ago. So, it has always been important to me, my wife and our (now grown up) children to visit the family regularly.     So now we get to the main point. I’ve always been saddened that, whilst everyone of my Aussie family have been so excited to see us when we visit there has always been one exception; a first cousin who was really nice but always seemed very standoffish and distant. You can imagine my surprise when she announced that she had transitioned! I’m not great at social media but my wife contacted her and they converse on and off, not a lot but as much as before she transitioned.    But now with Covid out of the way 🤞we are planning our next trip so (as my cousin is not on the main family WhatsApp group) I wrote to her. I said we (my wife and I) were going to be in Sydney and Brisbane, where most of the family live, but that Ballarat really was going to be just too much of a stretch- especially as she is the only one who lives there. I was amazed and so happy when she immediately wrote back and said she’d make sure she came to see us (if you look at the map and at the cost of flights you’ll realise that is no small commitment).    Now this may seem obvious to you but it is all totally new territory to me and my wife so we are worried about inadvertently saying something that might be hurtful.  so any tips would be most welcome. I have some particular questions:   In chatting do we always use feminine pronouns or do we use masculine when talking about the time before transition (ie our previous visits etc)?   Do we talk about his/her(? )wife, who has now gone her own way, although I suspect they are still friends?    Do we steer well clear of discussing anything at all personal I’m thinking of both emotional and practical issues)? Or perhaps my wife could whereas I shouldn’t?   What do we do about our normal big family gatherings? We’d love her to be there but don’t obviously want to put any undue pressure. We do see on Facebook that some of the family are very kind and accepting but in the cases of a good many others we just don’t know.  Thats just a few of the questions we have but any other comments or tips would be most welcome before we get on the plane from Heathrow at the end of the month.    Thanks 😊    Mark    
    • MiraF
      I think if anyone will take over the US as führer, it will be DeSantis. Trump is already being removed from his position as head of the republicans, with people like fox news and Breitbart saying DeSantis is the future of the party. Considering Trump's incompetence and Ron's actions so far, he may actually be worse.   Apart from that, I agree with you 100%.
    • Vidanjali
      The persecution of Black Americans is not analogous to the persecution of trans people, but there are intersecting features such as disproportionate levels of violence against and systemic oppression. That is, in particular, violence against both groups is not exclusively individually motivated (de facto), but is abetted by systemic oppression (de jure).  So, to gain some context for thinking about this question, I read two articles, one that argues that the 1951 charge of genocide against Black Americans is compelling:   https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/12/26/black-activists-charge-genocide-united-states-systemic-racism-526045   and another which argues it is not:   https://opiniojuris.org/2021/12/30/is-structural-genocide-legally-genocide-a-response-to-hinton/   This second article discusses another article on settler colonialism (linked in both articles) whose author states that settler colonialism is eliminatory, but not necessarily genocidal. The 2nd article's author further suggests that therefore systematic "crushing of spirit" may be better defined as cultural genocide, which was deliberately excluded from the genocide convention, however.   From what I understand, proof of intent is pivotal in charging genocide. That was the main argument against validifying the charge of genocide against Black Americans.    Anti-trans politicians and policy makers tend to (deliberately) mask their intent by claiming campaigns to save the children.    After reading the 2nd article, I began to read about crime against humanity versus genocide.    UN definition of crimes against humanity (CAH): https://www.un.org/en/genocideprevention/crimes-against-humanity.shtml   Note the UN definition of CAH refers to gender. Remarkably, the UN definition of gender acknowledges gender as a social construct.    Also note, regarding intent, that "[an] important distinction is that in the case of crimes against humanity, it is not necessary to prove that there is an overall specific intent. It suffices for there to be a simple intent to commit any of the acts listed, with the exception of the act of persecution, which requires additional discriminatory intent. The perpetrator must also act with knowledge of the attack against the civilian population and that his/her action is part of that attack." Do I believe the trans population is under attack? Yes, without a doubt. Do I believe it's genocide? I view this as an academic question, albeit an important one. I don't know the answer. I do think that it's possible that someone/some people in power will succumb to hubris and unequivocally declare intent to eliminate the trans population. I don't hope for that, but tbh, at least if such intent is made clear, then there is a clearer path to bringing a charge of genocide or CAH. However, I think that using the trans population as a scapegoat to galvanize ones voting constituency is ultimately of greater interest to those individuals than actually destroying us. Nonetheless, we suffer the collateral damage.       
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...