Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

10:32am CDT, I am now officially divorced - again. Last time, there were no tears. This time is different. It's a bit surreal, never expecting this day to come. We had a good thing going for a long time. 5 days from now would have been our 25th wedding anniversary, out of 27 years together. She does not wish to be married to a woman - I can't be anyone else. Strange blend of sadness and joy. C'est la vie.

Link to comment
  • Replies 18.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    1582

  • KymmieL

    1285

  • Jackie C.

    937

  • Elizabeth Star

    908

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

I was married over 40 years.  When we split, it freed me to reexamine who I was.  It's been a few years now, but I'm still dealing with my emotions.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations, @Hannah Renee On your new freedom. My wife is that way. "I married a man"

 

Hey everyone, Party at Hannah's house. we need to cheer her up. OH, wait I think she is. Anyway I'll bring the Mtn Dew. Drinking my own MD Pitch Black. Reg MD and grape koolaid.

 

I would love top surgery but alas. I'm like you Willow. I don't want anything to big. maybe a C cup. Haven't even looked into sizing for implants. I guess I will find out when the time comes.  When and if it ever does.

 

Hair and brows look great, was able to get out and back home without anyone knowing. Wife was at work , son had gone to wallys.  I post up pictures in a bit. (about time I broke every ones monitor.) LOL.

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Congratulations, @Hannah Renee On your new freedom. My wife is that way. "I married a man"

 

Hey everyone, Party at Hannah's house. we need to cheer her up. OH, wait I think she is. Anyway I'll bring the Mtn Dew. Drinking my own MD Pitch Black. Reg MD and grape koolaid.

 

I would love top surgery but alas. I'm like you Willow. I don't want anything to big. maybe a C cup. Haven't even looked into sizing for implants. I guess I will find out when the time comes.  When and if it ever does.

 

Hair and brows look great, was able to get out and back home without anyone knowing. Wife was at work , son had gone to wallys.  I post up pictures in a bit. (about time I broke every ones monitor.) LOL.

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie

My wife (sorry, ex- now) assumed she married a man. I guess the joke was on both of us. I did truly love her, but I guess love doesn't always conquer all.

 

Fair warning regarding the party. It's a small apartment, with one small bathroom an only a couple of places to sit. If you're anything close to my age, bring some Depends, just in case. And Kymmie, bring plenty of Mountain Dew. Me likey.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

My wife (sorry, ex- now) assumed she married a man. I guess the joke was on both of us. I did truly love her, but I guess love doesn't always conquer all.

 

Mine had felt the same way although it didn't make any sense to my. A lot of people, including her BFF and family thought I was possibly gay. Guess from a certain POV they were right.

 

Link to comment
9 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Mine had felt the same way although it didn't make any sense to my. A lot of people, including her BFF and family thought I was possibly gay. Guess from a certain POV they were right.

 

My ex said she fell in love with me because of who I was in spite of my past, because the past shapes a person. So it was because of the person I was, not exclusively because I was a "man." (I understand that she's not romantically interested in women. I wasn't romantically interested in men. Still much prefer women.) But the person I am is the person I was, with more bumps along the way, but, I think, some improvements as well. I get the impression right now that she feels I'm a different person inside, and not in a good way. I'm still me, the same heart and soul - just upgraded the exterior. I'm sad that she and I can't continue any relationship beyond our kids. I wouldn't fit in her social circle. Not exactly a woman-to-woman relationship with them during the past 20 years.

Link to comment
9 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

A lot of people, including her BFF and family thought I was possibly gay.

My ex and I had this conversation a few times.  I was not particularly attracted to guys tho.

 

I think that at this point it would mostly matter if a person (of any gender) was interested in me as a person.  

But considering my age and location, I don't expect much.  Unfortunate, but reality.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

My wife said she loves me, a man. She refuses to believe that I am the very same person whither I am a male or female.  as Hannah said, the inside hasn't changed. She has said that she couldn't be seen with me as a woman out holding hands. It seems that she doesn't want to seen as a lesbian. Yet, she doesn't care what other people think of her. Go figure.  Yet, we have been out and about to places where I was seen as female.

 

Well the fencometer must be broken. It is reading in the 40s. cloudy and overcast. forecast in the upper 50s today. So it may not be broken. LOL. It just may just be, a cuddle on the couch with my coffee cup kinda day. Alas I will probably do some work on the wagon.  The wife mentioned taking it again when we visit our oldest the end of the month.  I know I won't get the injection system installed. but maybe able to at least get the upgraded headlights done.

 

Have a good day friends,

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

Link to comment

We're dealing with that "I married a man" issue here too. We've been doing some online therapy, seems to be helping.

 

In one of the sessions I did say the glass half full take on my life is at least one person out there looks at me and thinks 'woman'. 

Link to comment

Happy Saturday everyone 

 

we met our daughter for lunch yesterday. Took her some donuts from a local specialty shop.  We had a good time.  We invited her to come here for thanksgiving.  She said she would see what she could do, her schedule isn’t that far out yet and she just lost two nurses so she is having to work nights again.  She has only 5 more classes to take for her MS. 

 

It rained off and on all night.  Heavy sometimes.  We have two hurricanes out in the ocean causing bad rip currents. But a high pressure system between the US and the hurricanes keeping them away(good thing) but a low pressure system just west of us and the two working together are pulling lots of water in the form of rain up the coast.  Well over 2 inches expected.

 

Married a man, don’t want people to think I’m a lesbian, I won’t touch you, and many more common phrases we’ve all heard many times.  Would I be broken if my wife left?  I sure would.  Could i make it on my own?  Better than she would and she knows it.  But she does keep that threat hanging in the air.  She knows we need each other for many reasons.

 

coffee is getting cold so I’d better get back to drinking it.

 

Willow

Link to comment
12 minutes ago, Willow said:

Married a man, don’t want people to think I’m a lesbian, I won’t touch you, and many more common phrases we’ve all heard many times.  Would I be broken if my wife left?  I sure would.  Could i make it on my own?  Better than she would and she knows it.  But she does keep that threat hanging in the air.  She knows we need each other for many reasons.

 

@Willow @KymmieL & @RhondaS

This has to be the common mantra, sang by most unsuspecting spouses, who lives with a transgender woman. Especially if they've been married for a decade or more.

 

Good morning everyone,:coffee:

On my second cup of coffee, watching the cats debate which door of window to look out of. It's a cool morning here, and I have the windows and doors open. It's nice to hear the birds drowning out the faint city noises.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

 

 

Link to comment
52 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

5D1EDA7A-5BAF-42CE-8170-0CAAF4E4356B.jpeg

I love this take on Einstein. Definitely proves his theory of relativity is correct... 

Link to comment

Hello everyone    just got back from shopping. good for another week. My HRT is working and feels good. life over all is good still have not gone to any big event .going to some day. Had a pumpkin iced latte at dunkin donuts this morning. it was good. have a good day every one.

Link to comment

@Hannah Renee@Mmindy@KymmieL It seems that our partners can be one of the most difficult aspects of adjusting ourselves.  I think my GF is having a harder time with it than my husband.  But even my husband remarked again the other day, "I thought I had a girl Pocket Fox, and it turned out I got a boy Pocket Fox" (his nickname for me.)  He knows I'm still the same person, but the social aspect of being suddenly in an unintended same-sex relationship seems to be a big deal.  😢

Link to comment
16 hours ago, RhondaS said:

We're dealing with that "I married a man" issue here too.

Yup, me too!  As others commented, I don’t get it, I am still the same person inside.  Been married 39 years, and I don’t want it to be over, but I need to be Free to be me.  
I hope everyone going through these difficult times can get through this and make the relationship last.

All the best,

Janae

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Janae said:

I don’t get it, I am still the same person inside.  Been married 39 years, and I don’t want it to be over, but I need to be Free to be me.  

Although I am no longer married, I get it.  I was married over 40 years.  I did not want to split, but it happened, and I was heartbroken.  

But on the other hand, it was only when I was single again that I was free to explore the parts of myself that I had been suppressing for so many years.

So now I am trying to live this next chapter of my story.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Morning everyone on this day of remembrance. I remember exactly what I was doing when I learned. 

 

Moving on. Have my grandsons this weekend. Kind of a pain last night but they are playing nice this AM.

 

Yesterday while they were eating dinner. (Mac &cheese, a kids staple?) our oldest grandson, (almost 7) finds my red nail polish on the table asks what it is? Grammy says, nail polish. without missing a beat. my grandson asks, "is it grandpa's?"

Grammy, No. "is it yours, Grammy?" it's either. I call it a win in my book.

 

With the nice cool weather, 32 on the ol' fencemeter. Yesterday, I kept my hair down. Got referred to as female by a couple customers. Win again. 

 

Well off to the the salt mines in a couple. Coffee first.

 

Have a good day.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

Link to comment
44 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Morning everyone on this day of remembrance. I remember exactly what I was doing when I learned. 

 

Thank you for remembering @KymmieL. So many have forgotten, and that makes me sad. I too remember where I was and what I was doing. I was on active duty and deployed to, of all places, Bosnia. Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been  a generation and more since then. 

 

My parents were of the World War 2 generation, and I never truly understood how they felt about Pearl Harbor. Now I think I finally do... 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
10 hours ago, Janae said:

Yup, me too!  As others commented, I don’t get it, I am still the same person inside.  Been married 39 years, and I don’t want it to be over, but I need to be Free to be me.  

 

I mean, sure, I'm more or less the same person INSIDE, but I wasn't presenting as myself for the first 26 years we were together. I know her, but she only knew my facade. Your wife fell in love with the person you were pretending to be. It can be a pretty big adjustment once that facade falls away.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
3 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

I mean, sure, I'm more or less the same person INSIDE, but I wasn't presenting as myself for the first 26 years we were together. I know her, but she only knew my facade. Your wife fell in love with the person you were pretending to be. It can be a pretty big adjustment once that facade falls away.

 

Hugs!

That's a good point, and under my current circumstances, I now wonder if I fell in love with someone my was pretending to be. I never knew she was capable of the vitriol and hatred she has been spewing at me over not only the last few months (reacting to my transition), but on a number of occasions in the past dozen or so years, seemingly out of the blue. 

Link to comment
23 minutes ago, Marcie Jensen said:

My parents were of the World War 2 generation, and I never truly understood how they felt about Pearl Harbor. Now I think I finally do... 

Marcie,

 

I used this same analogy to defend my grandchildren's generation, and the new recruits we have in public safety, just last week. They questioned why we're still having 911 memorial day duties, for an event that happened so long ago. Those of us who lived through the 911 event, it's totally devastating, however those who only know it as recent history. There is no emotional attachment and they don't get it. I understand their feelings because they were the same feelings I had for the attacks on Pearl Harbor, HI. 

 

My connection to the 911 attacks are two fold. 

 

First, and most directly I knew the members of FDNY Hazmat CO. 1 and Squad 288 personally, having taught for them on many occasions before and since.

 

Second, I was close personal friends with the Somerset County PA., Emergency Management group and the area fire departments surrounding Shanksville, PA the Flight 93 crash site.

 

So today is a very somber day for me, and those of our generation.

 

Good morning everyone, the coffee was Hot, strong, and black.:coffee:

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment

Good morning, friends. Been tired recently due to a strange sleep schedule, but it is ok for now. I'll try to change it so I take less naps in the day. 
Coffee time! ☕

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

What a change from this morning now 73 fencometer is at 105 but it is in direct sunlight. Even had to scrape the frost from the car windows this AM before I went to work.

 

It is like when Kennedy was shot, my mom remembers what she was doing when she heard, driving almost hit a tree. While recently people will remember what they were doing when the Queen passed.  Some memories just stick with you. 

 

wife and youngest are taking the grandsons home. She is seeing how our new to us car is on the road. We picked up another econo box. a 2013 VW Jetta Sportwagen with the TDI. Yeah,  we actually own a diesel now.

 

 Everyone had a good rest of the day. I may pop back in later.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

Link to comment

Hi everyone,

 

911 I was at work.  In fact, the whole family was at work.  Our son an airline pilot.  Daughter an RN, wife worked for a group of surgeons and I worked just across the road from the perimeter of Dulles Airport.

 

wars: my mother was a child during WWI.  My father was in France fighting during WWI.  WWII my father was asked by the department of the Army to fix the operation of Erie Ordinance Depot.  Korea, I remember having blackout drills.  Vietnam my brother-in-law and I both served in the Air Force.  That was my parents last war.  Kennedy, I was home from school, sick and watched the whole thing on TV live.  

 

So, I’ll start another discussion, how is it our fault when we didn’t know we were transgender?  I knew I had some inappropriate thoughts and desires, but it wasn’t that I knew I was a girl.  I was a man and did those things expected of a man just as @KymmieL did and no doubt a lot of us.  Yes, now I understand those “inappropriate thoughts” and what they meant.  I understand why I got pierced, it was for the pain something else we do.  At one time I had 7 holes, now all but three are closed.  My ears and one other.

 

Kymmiel I think I mentioned this but we sold our diesel Jeep for a VW Taos.  SUV.  They stopped making Jettas.  We had a 2010 Jetta TDI, loved it until VW bought it back.  Also had a 2013 Passat. So kind of natural we’d go back to VW.  
 

I’ll likely sell my Ford soon, it isn’t worth much but I don’t need it anymore.  Not worth making needed repairs anymore.

 

hugs

 

Willow

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 30 Guests (See full list)

    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      77.7k
    • Total Posts
      731.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      10,456
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Outlook
    Newest Member
    Outlook
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. ClarkDiesInside
      ClarkDiesInside
      (15 years old)
    2. Naomi Knowles
      Naomi Knowles
      (32 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.foxnews.com/politics/minnesota-bill-would-make-state-trans-refuge-kids-seeking-transgender-medical-treatment     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/how-utahs-new-ban-on-gender-affirming-care-for-minors-is-affecting-trans-teens-in-the-state     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/trans-physician-uses-life-savings-keep-clinic-open-insurers-deny-reimb-rcna67415     What a nightmare!  Of course, it IS Louisiana, so there's that.  If it weren't for the oft-maligned mainstream media, she would likely have had to close here clinic and declare bankruptcy.  If they don't soon cut her some checks, she still might.  Good for her and her community that she kept fighting.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      The way I understand it, the reason medical insurance companies are denying surgeries and gender-affirming stuff is because it is not medically necessary.  "You can live a long and healthy life in your original body" is how they see it.  Of course, they don't take into account the mental health aspects or the self-harm-prevention aspects.  But then, they don't want to pay to prevent cancer or diabetes, so that shouldn't be a surprise.   For the foreseeable future, transgender surgical procedures and gender-affirming treatments will remain in the realm of cosmetic surgery.  Check if your plan covers nose jobs, breast enhancement, or liposuction to find out how it will go for other procedures.  We may not like it, but that's the world we live in right now.      "THE" church is kind of a myth at this point.  Too many different flavors.  You've got Catholics, Lutherans, Baptists, Presbyterians...and the list goes on.  I've seen a couple of places in the city flying rainbow flags, which seems a bit odd.  And there's folks on this forum who are clergy, not to mention others like me who are part of a faith community.  I don't believe that churches are a problem.  And even if they were, who has the right to "dismantle" them?  Regulating faith and establishing censorship might help one cause for a while, to the long-term detriment of liberty in general.     I agree that it would be lovely to eliminate most of the methods people use to finance campaigns.  You could shut down nearly all sponsorship, rather than attempting to target individual sponsors.  It would be nice to have political office within reach of common people, not just those who can amass billions for advertising and dinners.  We'd get rid of both Democrats and Republicans that way.  And term limits to get rid of perpetual office-holders in the House and Senate.  Nobody should be making politics into a profitable career.  Do a few years of sacrificial public service, then go away and live a quiet life.           
    • Mx.Drago
      Thanks Canada, I think... not sure cuz it's a petition. Hope it works out, but not holding my breath. If Canada went "yes" without the petition, then I'd might be a bit more hopeful. Feels like it's another trap, cuz there's no solid evidence my situation will improve moving there. Still have to get there and hope the people will be civil. Feels it's just going to be another marketing ploy, cuz the money must flow, like the Great American Dream...limited with no guarantees and no refunds. I have 0 rainbows, just Jupiter levels of storm clouds. Deleted so much cuz I'm trying not to go further off topic and there's too much... it's all too much. Federal and state laws are just guidelines subject to change and aren't stone, all are enforced case by case and only if there's money. 🤷🤦So depressed.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I was reminded of the WW2 balloon bombs the Japanese sent our way.  I wonder how long it will be before somebody straps a nuke to a weather balloon to produce an EMP over us.  🙄  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @VickySGV Yep.  I imagine 22% might be a bit high outside of urban areas, but it is becoming more common.  In my rural area, only a small number outside my family know exactly who/what I am.  To the rest... they mostly see my attachment to my family and faith community.  Boy/girl doesn't matter as much.  My friend is a bit more obviously trans.  But hanging out with me and my family, she's accepted too.  Part of being seen as nonthreatening is being seen as "normal," which means being linked to a mainstream, positive, or "in" group.   
    • VickySGV
      We are now up to 22% of the U.S. population who know they know a Trans person as a neighbor per the Williams Institute  here in CA.  This is one of the reasons I urge Trans/Enby to go out and volunteer for community service projects.  Do the work as a helpful person and maybe somewhere down the line, let them know you are Trans after they have seen the wonderful person hard at work or better yet have a friend of a friend let the others know that they know, and respect a Trans person.   It is one way I do it. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I couldn't give a rat's rump about the UN or its definitions.  Perhaps the legal definition in the USA matters...I prefer to just look at the meaning of the word.  Genocide = the killing of a type of people.  Usually organized killing.  We don't have that in the USA yet, and we can prevent it.  One of the easiest ways to avoid it is for people to stop being "trans" as their primary form of identity.  I'm a lot of things before I'm intersex/trans...and those things matter more to me than my gender and sexuality.    I see a future and a hope for everyone in the concept of local independence and our identity as each other's neighbors.  It was that "neighbor" identity that supported me after being assaulted.  In general, who we vote for in November may vary, but our goals are the same.  We want peace.  We want prosperity.  We want friendship, family, and contentment.  We might disagree about the policies that protect these things, but we have the same goals because we're humans.    I think the USA is probably too big to secure what we want, but having an identity as local neighbors can produce the cooperation we need.  Yes, diversity is strength...but it can only be strength if we have on overriding unity.  We don't have that as Americans, but we can have that locally as neighbors with a sense of "We Live HERE."  Locality can override race, gender, sexuality, and other factors.  At least, it seems to work where I live.   I want to work for a life in which Trump and Biden don't matter anymore...where the Supreme Court and both parties are relics of the past.   
    • Mx.Drago
      Been screaming internally and externally........how?
    • Mx.Drago
      If only it wasn't freezing, frozen.
    • Mx.Drago
      Life gives lemons, you've got lemons.😕
    • Marcie Jensen
      @MiraF Regarding Joe Biden, I wasn't referring to antisemitic remarks., (those belong to Ihlan Omar and some others) I was referring to blatant racism in a speech he made on the Senate floor in 1974. In this speech he came out against bussing to end segregation in the public schools stating that he was against school integration because, in his own words he didn't want his children "growing up in a jungle." That's but one example that's largely forgotten as are his political mentors included such people as James O. Eastland, Cory Booker and Strom Thurmond who was a member of the KKK for decades. Also, keep in mind that thee democratic party brought us, and supported, such friendly folks as George Wallace and perpetuated most of the Jim Crow legislation in the South that lasted from the reconstruction period to the 1980s. There isn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties in any significant way on any issue.    As for US legal definitions not mattering, we're going to have to disagree. They do matter in the United States regardless of what any of us like or dislike.  That's just a fact, and facts are neither true nor false; they simply are. And it's a fact that UN definitions do not apply to the USA, just as US definitions of law do not apply in Canada or any other country. And rightly so.    And as for Roe, as early as the original decision was made, numerous legal scholars have argued that it was poor legal precedent as early as the 1970s including Leon Derschowitz who is pretty liberal. And, in the recent Roe decision, as I understand it, what SCOTUS to a rigid constittutionalist view and returned the decision to the states as there was no federal jurisdiction. My personal beliefs on this don't come into play here. The practical solution is for congress to enact legislation on the abortion issue, but they won't because it's a potential political firestorm and a really good wedge issue. As to how SCOTUS is going to vote on any anti-trans legislation that comes before, it might be a good idea to wait and see before casting judgement. The record of this court has been all over the place; particularly the votes of Roberts and Kavanaugh.  
    • Mx.Drago
      I miss my cat, best hugger.😞
    • Ticket For Epic
      OMG girl!  I've been of site for a while and almost didn't recognize you, you look incredible!  Whatever your doing, keep doing it cause it's working!  Hashtag transition goals!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...