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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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Good morning everyone, just a quick drop in to catch up. Hugs for you all, I wish I could say it with the sweet tone and southern draw that my favorite aunt did in Memphis, TN.

 

The Coffee is just finished brewing, and it’s cold outside. 
 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Good morning 

 

i want to respond to some of the comments before I’ve even finished reading all the posts.

 

excuse to get an Orchidectomy @KymmieL? That’s an easy one.  The level of hormones needed to overcome the T your body is making is dangerous.  The orchidectomy eliminates the need for taking blockers and reduces the amount of female hormones needed hence reduces the chances of cancer related to hrt.

 

to my NC friends, @Ivy and @Betty_Bcheck into NC University hospital NC State hospital I forget the correct name but Chapel Hill.  They have reduced their backlog and will do surgeries with insurance coverage.  If you have a Medicare Advantage plan it should be covered for just your co-pay.  
 

gotta start breakfast I’ll be back!

 

Willow

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5 hours ago, Betty_B said:

online co, called Plume was an idea given to  me

I have looked at a couple of these.  From what I saw, they do require you to get blood work which they can consult.  If I were to lose my VA, I might consider it.  But I hope it doesn't come to that.

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Willow said:

check into NC University hospital

I know of one person who has gotten surgery at UNC.

I have heard they are trying to ramp up the program there.  One of my daughters actually works for UNC, but not in the medical area.  I have thought of looking into it, but as I've discussed on threads here, I don't expect to pursue surgery.

 

The Chapel Hill-Durham area is much more accepting of LGBTQ than some other areas.  I started my journey with Planned Parenthood in Chapel Hill while visiting my daughter.

 

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10 hours ago, Aggie1 said:

When I look at the selfies I can see my mothers face in them which I find rather intriguing because we were never close,

I see this for myself as well.  She was also not large "upstairs" which is one reason I'm not too upset with my less-than-some-others results.  One thing I have noticed is my thighs have gotten to resemble hers (and my sisters)

 

I don't feel like we were all that close.  She and my ex did not get along.  Having said that, we did care for her in our home (Alzheimer's) before her death.

 

However I do feel that I have been greatly influenced by her mother, my grandmother.

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Hello everyone

 

Just grabbing at straws i guess 

 

 

,,, just cant do the dr. thing ,,,, would never make it in today's medical system ,,,

 

 back to the corner for now

 

  Love , peace N Hugs

                 Betty B

 

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Ok I’m back

 

breakfast was good.  I made pancakes while my wife took her shower.  We both liked them.  Now I need to get in there and take mine but priorities finish my coffee first. 
 

Even though I served, I don’t qualify for VA medical. When I inlisted I was told I would because it was during the indochina conflict.  But I wasn’t actually in Nam nor do I have a medical condition caused by my service, and I stupidly did a 4 and done I should have re-upped but I had already requested an early out which was granted before I knew I had earned a promotion which would have made the difference between staying and going.  Maybe I should have re-enlisted and tried for ocs but that never crossed my mind.  So, no retirement either.

 

for me it’s Medicare or nothing.  Living in South C, doctors willing to help are few and far between. The best we get is to be ignored.

 

I have a good endocrinologist, I had a good urologist and my therapist s have all been good.  But no chance for anything else surgically.

 

well, second cup is done so I need to shower.  And no stinky jokes I’m not like that.

 

love

 

Willow

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Good morning all. I don't usually start threads, and honestly prefer to respond because there are such great topics everyone presents. THat said, I had an incident yesterday that has left me scratching my head and I would appreciate some input as to whether or not I'm overreacting. I wasn't sure where else to post this, so, here it is.

 

Yesterday I had a late lunch with a couple I've known since the late 1980s. We were in the Army together, an I'm the one who got them together in the first place. Through the years we've been through a lot together; from weddings and births to the death of parents and children to combat. The list goes on and on. We've always been supportive of each other and have been close. In fact, they were the first people I came out to when I began to transition. Both of them are self proclaimed progressives and say they support trans rights. Sorry this got long winded, but the background is necessary.

 

So, at lunch yesterday, the waiter misgendered me (first time in a long while), and I responded by saying calmly and politely, "no. It's not sir, it's either ma'am or ms. My pronouns are she and her, please." The waiter pasted a plastic smile on his face, took our ond departed. I thought end of incident. I was wrong.

 

My friend, the male half of the couple, then told me that I was wrong, and that I should apologize to the waiter because he was gay. My reply was that I didn't know, but that if he was, and thus being part of the LGBTQ+ community, he should have realized, or if in doubt as to my gender, asked me what I preferred. Especially because I was fully made up, in a dress and heels and not presenting as anywhere close to being male. I then changed the subject. Throughout the meal, they both kept coming back to this incident and would not let it go. I refused to engage because our get togethers have become more and more rare since my transition. Finally, they made an excuse about having to run some errands and left. I picked up the check--it was my turn. There have been similar incidents in the past.

 

:ater, I started thinking about some things that have been happening for a couple of years now. These include, but aren't limited to I'm no longer welcome in their house and they have declined every invitation I've extended to them to come over to mine. We used to spend lots of time together, so this has struck me as odd. Additionally, Kim, the male half, and I would get together for coffee a couple of times a week for coffee before he had to go to work--he works from home so he had no commute of fixed time schedule. This is now down to once a month with a duration of one hour. They have imposed time and day restrictions when I can text (I'm not allowed to call them per their wishes.) I'm the only one who initiates contact with them and it sometimes takes days for them to respond. And there have been other incidents as well.

 

Bottom line is that I believe I've become their token "trans friend," in a way similar to my late parents' used the phrases "This is XXX, my black friend," and "Meet XXX, my Jewish friend." I've got to admit this makes me angry. SO, it looks like I've got limited options here and I don't know which way to go. These options are, as I see it:

1. Let the whole thing pass and that I am overreacting.

2. Confront them about this, and likely lose their friendship. Something I'm reluctant to do as we've known each other for over years.

3. Just drop them like a live grenade and accept it. and the hurt that goes along with that.

 

So, I'm stuck. Each option isn't particularly good, but I don't see any onthers.

 

ANy advice?

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On 10/7/2022 at 8:51 PM, KathyLauren said:

I scheduled a couple of sessions with my therapist to talk about exactly that.  After talking about it for a while, she summarized by saying that the only reason for me to get the full vaginoplasty was (1) if my current marriage ended, and (2) if I met and dated another woman, and (3) if she wanted me to have a vagina to play in.  I agreed that that was an accurate summation, and that it was a very long shot.  It wasn't worth the more extensive surgery and the upkeep, just for that very specific long shot. 

 

I mean, I'd add dysphoria to the list. Personally, I have a vag because my dysphoria would not shut up if I didn't, but she's not wrong.

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Marcie Jensen said:

Confront them about this, and likely lose their friendship.

Seems like this may already be the case.  

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My true parents told me they see me like a daughter to this day.Since they adopted me when I was 13,they seen something missing in my life and I found it when I was 18 finally.First thing I saw was I always had feminine legs like a genetic female.Even when I first transformed into Mandy Jo for the first time

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Hi Marcie,

 

Sadly it appears they have certain viewpoints and making it clear they want to distance themselves from you.

 

Like i have had to do, let them go and move on with your life, existing and new friends as i believe keep giong back to them will just add further to your unhappyness.

 

My best wishes and hug to you

Sarah x

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I just got back from a family wedding.  I'm still on a high as I've just had one of the best days of my life! Last year I went to a family wedding in a man's suit and I was miserable.  I vowed I would never do that again.  This year I went in a dress.  And I felt fabulous!  The dress is full length and green and black.  I got so much love and support from most of the family.  The notable exceptions were the wife's aunt and uncle who were barely civil to me and pretty much avoided me.  Their faces made it clear what they thought of me.  That wasn't going to spoil my day though.

From the moment we arrived at the hotel I felt comfortable and relaxed.  The party afterwards was lively and fun and the wine flowed freely.  Even going to the ladies bathroom was a good experience.  There were several women in there and none of them made me feel I didn't belong in there.  A couple of them even smiled at me.  Using the ladies room has always been something I try to avoid if I can as I've heard so many stories of hostility to trans women.  

I had considered taking the 'safe' option and wearing a pant suit instead but I'm so glad I opted to wear the dress.  All in all it was a fabulous day!

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The Chapel Hill-Durham area is much more accepting of LGBTQ than some other areas.  I started my journey with Planned Parenthood in Chapel Hill while visiting my daughter.

 

I was reading that Duke was also working with transgender teens. So both teens and adults are covered there.


@Marcie Jensen I think about the only chance for an explanation of their distancing you would be an innocent question something like “is there something new going on in your lives?” Or something like that.  If the answer is something like no everything is the same, I’d say you have your answer.  I wouldn’t be surprised if any non-commital response would be followed up with no, why? So be prepared.  My opinion not being there and not knowing your friends is that they don’t want to be the ones to end your relationship but they aren’t comfortable with it for some reason.  Sorry, just one opinion that may just be 100% wrong.

 

@Becoming Diana how great that was for you.  I guess it’s inevitable someone won’t be accepting but I try to just ignore them.  But who am I to say.  I allowed someone I didn’t know and will never ever see again to cause me to have a complete breakdown and stop everything about my transition for a couple of months last year, just by staring at me.  When I came out of it (with help) I picked right back up where I’d left off.

 

beautiful Sunday.  We went to the beach for a walk.  Got takeout chicken on the way home and ate that poolside.

 

Willow

 

 

 

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@Marcie Jensen To begin, in my self-proclaimed expert opinion, you were NOT wrong in your response to the waiter. Your friends might have been uncomfortable with it, as was the waiter, but you have to speak up for yourself. It is most assuredly NOT up to Kim to decide that what you did was wrong, any more than it would be up to him to decide your identity or your pronouns.

 

I totally agree with @Sarah Victoria that your friends have made it clear what they're doing. As to what is next?

 

1. Let the whole thing pass and that I am overreacting. You are not overreacting. There is something going on in the relationship as they see it, and which they are unwilling to express. You could let it pass, but I can't see that anything would be "fixed" or would change their behavior. It would likely simply progress in the same direction as it already is.

 

2. Confront them about this, and likely lose their friendship. Something I'm reluctant to do as we've known each other for over years. Confrontation, especially with friends, is uncomfortable and can be tricky. My ex-wife has always been excellent at that process (except with me over the past several years). It's a delicate matter, and feelings can be hurt - and healed. Properly done (don't ask me what that is - I didn't say I'm any good at it), true friends will recognize it as the necessary beginning of the healing process. That does assume that they accept that there is an issue that needs to be addressed. They can choose to accept and help mend, or they can choose to be offended and drop you like a hot potato. Not in your control. You can only do what is right for you.

 

3. Just drop them like a live grenade and accept it. and the hurt that goes along with that. That may ultimately be the answer, regardless of whether you pick Door Number 1, 2 or 3. The only caveat I would add is that you would need to tell them and tell them why. A friend I had for 20 years decided about 3 or 4 years ago that we could no longer be friends. Never told me why. I did send him a letter a few weeks ago telling him that, and also telling him that it doesn't really matter any more, because, well, Hannah. He would never accept that.

 

What ever you decide, don't drag yourself down, don't feel guilty, and do take care of Marcie Jensen.

 

Hugs

Hannah

 

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4 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

1. Let the whole thing pass and that I am overreacting.

2. Confront them about this, and likely lose their friendship. Something I'm reluctant to do as we've known each other for over years.

3. Just drop them like a live grenade and accept it. and the hurt that goes along with that.

 

You are not overreacting.  I think the friendship is already lost.  What you have is acquaintances that barely tolerate you.

 

I think, if it were me, I would talk to them one last time, to explain why I was about to drop them like a live grenade.

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@Marcie Jensen I don't think you are wrong in your dealing with the waiter. Do your friends know he is gay. or just assumed. 

Your "friends" seem like a couple of friends I had. One was way before I had any idea I was a female. He would call and we would talk for hours. Then all of the sudden he stopped. I have emailed and even snail mailed him. Nothing. If anything I just want to know what happened to our friendship. After I had my realization my wife told me that he actually hated me. That I don't believe.

 

@willow, I don't think that my wife would go for that excuse, as it deals with HRT.

 

Kymmie

 

 

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13 hours ago, Betty_B said:

an online co, called Plume was an idea given to  me ,, so much to consider and ponder ,, any thoughts are welcome ,,

 

@Betty_B I have been using Plume for a year now. I would say that I am mostly happy with the service. If there are any questions that you have that you think I may know please private message me and we can talk about my experience with them.

 

I would be happy to help you in any way that I can.

 

~Rachel

 

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Get to see a therapist tommorrow after work.Wife notice signs I am having anxiety issues.Been having things from my past,how my bio parents treated me before I was removed at age 13

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6 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I started thinking about some things that have been happening for a couple of years now. These include, but aren't limited to I'm no longer welcome in their house and they have declined every invitation I've extended to them to come over to mine. We used to spend lots of time together, so this has struck me as odd. Additionally, Kim, the male half, and I would get together for coffee a couple of times a week for coffee before he had to go to work--he works from home so he had no commute of fixed time schedule. This is now down to once a month with a duration of one hour. They have imposed time and day restrictions when I can text (I'm not allowed to call them per their wishes.) I'm the only one who initiates contact with them and it sometimes takes days for them to respond. And there have been other incidents as well.

 

Bottom line is that I believe I've become their token "trans friend," in a way similar to my late parents' used the phrases "This is XXX, my black friend," and "Meet XXX, my Jewish friend." I've got to admit this makes me angry. SO, it looks like I've got limited options here and I don't know which way to go. These options are, as I see it:

1. Let the whole thing pass and that I am overreacting.

2. Confront them about this, and likely lose their friendship. Something I'm reluctant to do as we've known each other for over years.

3. Just drop them like a live grenade and accept it. and the hurt that goes along with that.

 

So, I'm stuck. Each option isn't particularly good, but I don't see any onthers.

 

ANy advice?

I believe Hannah Renee gave you great advice. When a friend does not make you welcome in a spontaneous way, it's over. Imposing restrictions is ludicrous. I used to have a cousin and his wife that did that to me before I ever came out. I severed that relationship. I do not look back. 

 

Good for you in standing your ground regarding being misgendered. My gosh, sitting there a dress and heels? The waiter was being an arrogant jackass. It sounds like you said your piece and left it at that. It was wrong of your friends to keep the fires stoked and not take your side if they were truly your friend. I do not think these people are true friends.

 

Drop them and move on. It will hurt at first, but it is crazier to just giving them opportunities to take shots. Take the hurt and move no.

 

Sincerely

Katie

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1 hour ago, Mandy Jo said:

Get to see a therapist tommorrow after work.Wife notice signs I am having anxiety issues.Been having things from my past,how my bio parents treated me before I was removed at age 13

Good luck tomorrow.

May your anxiety and it’s entrapment be lifted during  the session,✌️

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8 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I started thinking about some things that have been happening for a couple of years now. These include, but aren't limited to I'm no longer welcome in their house and they have declined every invitation I've extended to them to come over to mine. We used to spend lots of time together, so this has struck me as odd.

@Marcie Jenseni think you know the answer. Maybe not the exact reason but I think you have some intuition regarding it. I’ve been through similar situations. Sometimes a person grows into a new circle and their old circle is no longer compatible with it. Pretty crappy reason I know. Sometimes friends turn into acquaintances over time. Or vice versa. Depending on common interests. I changed schools as a kid a few times snd moved a few times in my life, and friends have passed into memory over time. Friendship can sometimes have a shelf life based on circumstances. 
 

Friendship can’t be one sided though. It has to be mutual. 

 

The only advice i can offer is to grow a new circle of friends. 

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Thank you everyone. Especially @Ivy, @Hannah Renee, @Willow, @KathyLauren, @KymmieL, @Katie23 and @Aggie1(I hope I didn't forget anyone). Your advice and words of support are greatly appreciated. You've given me a lot to think about, and TBH, I'm leaning toward letting them go and moving on, but giving them an explanation first. That seems to be the closest to being the "right" thing to do. Again, I appreciate everyone and everything. It helps. 

 

And, in a different area, @Betty_B, like @CD Rachel, I've been with Plume for about two years and my experience has been pretty good overall. My provider has always been cautious with not over prescribing, which is better than the other way 'round I think. Overall, I would recommend them to anyone.  Keep in mind that Plume does not operate in all 50 states, so be sure to check their location map before subscribing to their services.

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9 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

 

 

:ater, I started thinking about some things that have been happening for a couple of years now. These include, but aren't limited to I'm no longer welcome in their house and they have declined every invitation I've extended to them to come over to mine. We used to spend lots of time together, so this has struck me as odd. Additionally, Kim, the male half, and I would get together for coffee a couple of times a week for coffee before he had to go to work--he works from home so he had no commute of fixed time schedule. This is now down to once a month with a duration of one hour. They have imposed time and day restrictions when I can text (I'm not allowed to call them per their wishes.) I'm the only one who initiates contact with them and it sometimes takes days for them to respond. And there have been other incidents as well.

 

Bottom line is that I believe I've become their token "trans friend," in a way similar to my late parents' used the phrases "This is XXX, my black friend," and "Meet XXX, my Jewish friend." I've got to admit this makes me angry. SO, it looks like I've got limited options here and I don't know which way to go. These options are, as I see it:

1. Let the whole thing pass and that I am overreacting.

2. Confront them about this, and likely lose their friendship. Something I'm reluctant to do as we've known each other for over years.

3. Just drop them like a live grenade and accept it. and the hurt that goes along with that.

 

So, I'm stuck. Each option isn't particularly good, but I don't see any onthers.

 

ANy advice?

I have found myself in sort of the same emotional situation and after about a week of stuffing it, decided living authentically also means being honest with myself and others because in the end it's more of a burden to carry living in fear of the consequences of losing friends (also "friends") than to just put it out there, right or wrong.

It very well is the possibility it's a problem of perception, too. But generally I am apt to be forthcoming about what's going on with me, *provided* I am also open minded about the possibility I could be off in my judgment, owning my feelings without blaming them. So we start of with "I feel..." and not You did this and You did that because this will immediately put them on the defensive.

Ultimately, I think it's a more courageous thing to make yourself vulnerable and explaining you are feeling distanced and are concerned about the future of the relationship, but also this is under the assumption that most people give very much thought about anything other than their primary relations under their own roof.

Keep meditating on it and talking about it if you have other friends to bounce it off with. Sometimes it just takes time. Try to see past the initial temporary hurt to the bigger picture.

Sometimes we want to fix things quickly instead of sitting awhile with our feelings and discover what underlying stuff they are trying to tell us.

But generally, eventually the decision will at a point seem unavoidable, like the decision makes itself. There is also an aspect of faith, too, that no matter what, I was going to Be Okay which goes back to the foundation of my own journey.

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      Great to hear that @Russ Fenrisson . Any progress is a relief and helps to strengthen one's faith that things can be even better. 
    • Willow
      Hi @Jamey-Heather.  Nice to see you.   @Mmindy  that sounds like an interesting trip.  I’ve never been to either state. Actually I’m down to about 10 I haven’t been to yet.  And I don’t mean stopped in an airport but spent at least an hour.  I’ve also been to the majority of the US territories.  Just not American Samoa although I spent several hours in Samoa and in Okinawa and I don’t know that I’ve stepped foot in Guam.  I think we will try to close out Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee and Arkansas, then Minnesota and Wisconsin this summer.  That leaves me with Alaska.  Places in Canada I’d like to go are Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island.    Willow
    • Russ Fenrisson
      Just wanted to address a slight change in the situation.   Things are about the same but I was able to come up with a nickname that is pleasing to both me and those around me. The new nickname has been used on and off, but at least I can see an effort to try to make me feel accomodated.   I also wrote down my thoughts in a letter and after getting my feelings out, I felt a lot better. I probably won't need to use it now but if there is a time I feel not understood again, I always have it to use to get my thoughts out in a clearer manner.   I want to thank everyone again for responding and providing me with advice. I really appreciate it.
    • Russ Fenrisson
      I've also wondered about the same thing, especially since a lot of media I see, if they include a trans character at all, is usually transfeminine. I think it really boils down to what @Carolyn Mariesaid: how said individuals are perceived in society and the acceptibility of it. It's a shame transwomen and transfeminine people are made to feel bad for who they are or to be afraid of how they identify or choose to present themselves. This might be why you see more stories concerning them. To spread awareness and to show transwomen are not scary and are people just like everybody else.   In regards to transmen and transmasculine people, I've done much reading and thinking, and have come to the conclusion that perhaps such individuals are not explored or discussed is because of a private, safety factor. I've read more and more individuals have been coming out as FtM compared to recent years, such as in the 90s or early 2000's, and they may not be as transparent or as seen as MtF individuals just because of the fact they could face ridicule or repercussion for coming out or exploring their identity. It appears the expression of women is much more flexible nowadays than it was before, but that doesn't mean it is all inclusive. It probably just depends on where you are and the kind of atmosphere that is present.   What I always think is, whether I know it or not, I've at least run into someone like myself without knowing it. It provides a sense of mystery but it's at least a little bit comforting in these strange times.
    • MarkCT
      Hi All   This is my first, and in many was I hope my last, post on this forum but here goes and apologies in advance if it is a bit long winded but I think you’d need to know the full picture if you are going to give me any tips, which I do hope you will.    Back in 1963 my mum’s family (her mum, dad and numerous much younger siblings) emigrated to Sydney as “£10 Pommes”. I was two years old at the time and we were due to join them the following year but for various reasons we didn’t go. My dad had no family apart from his parents, who died many years ago. So, it has always been important to me, my wife and our (now grown up) children to visit the family regularly.     So now we get to the main point. I’ve always been saddened that, whilst everyone of my Aussie family have been so excited to see us when we visit there has always been one exception; a first cousin who was really nice but always seemed very standoffish and distant. You can imagine my surprise when she announced that she had transitioned! I’m not great at social media but my wife contacted her and they converse on and off, not a lot but as much as before she transitioned.    But now with Covid out of the way 🤞we are planning our next trip so (as my cousin is not on the main family WhatsApp group) I wrote to her. I said we (my wife and I) were going to be in Sydney and Brisbane, where most of the family live, but that Ballarat really was going to be just too much of a stretch- especially as she is the only one who lives there. I was amazed and so happy when she immediately wrote back and said she’d make sure she came to see us (if you look at the map and at the cost of flights you’ll realise that is no small commitment).    Now this may seem obvious to you but it is all totally new territory to me and my wife so we are worried about inadvertently saying something that might be hurtful.  so any tips would be most welcome. I have some particular questions:   In chatting do we always use feminine pronouns or do we use masculine when talking about the time before transition (ie our previous visits etc)?   Do we talk about his/her(? )wife, who has now gone her own way, although I suspect they are still friends?    Do we steer well clear of discussing anything at all personal I’m thinking of both emotional and practical issues)? Or perhaps my wife could whereas I shouldn’t?   What do we do about our normal big family gatherings? We’d love her to be there but don’t obviously want to put any undue pressure. We do see on Facebook that some of the family are very kind and accepting but in the cases of a good many others we just don’t know.  Thats just a few of the questions we have but any other comments or tips would be most welcome before we get on the plane from Heathrow at the end of the month.    Thanks 😊    Mark    
    • MiraF
      I think if anyone will take over the US as führer, it will be DeSantis. Trump is already being removed from his position as head of the republicans, with people like fox news and Breitbart saying DeSantis is the future of the party. Considering Trump's incompetence and Ron's actions so far, he may actually be worse.   Apart from that, I agree with you 100%.
    • Vidanjali
      The persecution of Black Americans is not analogous to the persecution of trans people, but there are intersecting features such as disproportionate levels of violence against and systemic oppression. That is, in particular, violence against both groups is not exclusively individually motivated (de facto), but is abetted by systemic oppression (de jure).  So, to gain some context for thinking about this question, I read two articles, one that argues that the 1951 charge of genocide against Black Americans is compelling:   https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/12/26/black-activists-charge-genocide-united-states-systemic-racism-526045   and another which argues it is not:   https://opiniojuris.org/2021/12/30/is-structural-genocide-legally-genocide-a-response-to-hinton/   This second article discusses another article on settler colonialism (linked in both articles) whose author states that settler colonialism is eliminatory, but not necessarily genocidal. The 2nd article's author further suggests that therefore systematic "crushing of spirit" may be better defined as cultural genocide, which was deliberately excluded from the genocide convention, however.   From what I understand, proof of intent is pivotal in charging genocide. That was the main argument against validifying the charge of genocide against Black Americans.    Anti-trans politicians and policy makers tend to (deliberately) mask their intent by claiming campaigns to save the children.    After reading the 2nd article, I began to read about crime against humanity versus genocide.    UN definition of crimes against humanity (CAH): https://www.un.org/en/genocideprevention/crimes-against-humanity.shtml   Note the UN definition of CAH refers to gender. Remarkably, the UN definition of gender acknowledges gender as a social construct.    Also note, regarding intent, that "[an] important distinction is that in the case of crimes against humanity, it is not necessary to prove that there is an overall specific intent. It suffices for there to be a simple intent to commit any of the acts listed, with the exception of the act of persecution, which requires additional discriminatory intent. The perpetrator must also act with knowledge of the attack against the civilian population and that his/her action is part of that attack." Do I believe the trans population is under attack? Yes, without a doubt. Do I believe it's genocide? I view this as an academic question, albeit an important one. I don't know the answer. I do think that it's possible that someone/some people in power will succumb to hubris and unequivocally declare intent to eliminate the trans population. I don't hope for that, but tbh, at least if such intent is made clear, then there is a clearer path to bringing a charge of genocide or CAH. However, I think that using the trans population as a scapegoat to galvanize ones voting constituency is ultimately of greater interest to those individuals than actually destroying us. Nonetheless, we suffer the collateral damage.       
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