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3 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I think a lot of life's enjoyment comes from living in the moment.  I have any plans for the future....none whatsoever.  My life has already turned out so different from what I might have expected. 


I spent this morning with my GF in the kitchen making cookies, and putting meat in a big vat to marinate.  Tomorrow evening is the Super Bowl, so gotta have snacks for the party.  None of us are really avid football fans, but it is a good excuse to get together with others from our community.  GF used to live in Kansas City, so sometimes she likes to watch a Chiefs game, especially the big ones like this.  We've got a projector and a huge screen at the social hall, so plenty of room.  I'll be spending most of my time with food and monitoring the kids as they run around. 

I couldn't agree more about living in the moment.


Ax a Kansas City native who remembers when the Chiefs moved there, I'm all in for the Chiefs. I'm also going to Sedona later today since I live about a mile from the stadium and don't want to cope with the noise, crowds etc.  

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Hello, I'm Lelouch. I enjoy coffee every morning when I wake up. It's afternoon but I'm about ready to have my second cup. Hope everybody reading this is doing well. Even if you're not, hang in there, things will get better. ❤️


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2 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I'm also going to Sedona later today since I live about a mile from the stadium and don't want to cope with the noise, crowds etc.  

I'm jealous 😉 Sedona is lovely during the cool time of year.  I'd love to go camping out there sometime.  My GF likes it there too, but going with her means staying at a resort hotel on the top floor.  Gotta have a soft nest with silky sheets and plenty of room service for my spoiled Russian.  

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@WillowI love the meme 


Good evening everyone, 


We’re off the road safe and sound in Birmingham, AL it was an uneventful drive. 




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12 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I'm jealous 😉 Sedona is lovely during the cool time of year.  I'd love to go camping out there sometime.  My GF likes it there too, but going with her means staying at a resort hotel on the top floor.  Gotta have a soft nest with silky sheets and plenty of room service for my spoiled Russian.  

Sedona is a beautiful place. Especially this time of year. And, the camping is phenomenal. I don't have a hotel, though. One of the girls in my local support group owns property there and several of us are getting together for a Superbowl party away from Phoenix. We're even BBQing a whole hog. 

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Hi everyone, remember me? lol.  Sorry life pulled me away from you all for a bit. It's been crazy busy but that's not an excuse.

Some really deep conversations going on here. My thoughts on some it are: You have no idea what your life expectancy is going to be. All my grandparents died from different things, some very young, others late. My mom passed from cancer in her early 60s.  However, most of out grandparents and even siblings had different lifestyles and risk exposures.  We live differently now.  Disease detection is far more advanced, diets are generally healthier, etc etc.  For example, every one of my parents and grandparents smoked like chimneys and never did. I stopped eating fried foods and heavy steak and potatoes with lots of butter decades ago. I have no idea what my life expectancy will be, but I do know that now that I've started my new life in the right body, I am excited to make the most of it.  So with that in mind, my parting thought on this topic is, why not pursue your best life every day no matter how close or far away from your "life expectancy date" is?


Besides just working myself to the bone lately (in a fun way) I decided to get back to the gym and start the process of getting back to better health.  From Sept 2022 to Nov 2023 I had four significant surgeries and that took a big toll on my general fitness, weight, etc etc.  I missed going swimming and hitting the saunas. I stopped going to the gym at the beginning of Covid and then started transitioning so I didn't feel comfortable in a womens or mens locker room/sauna situation. Now that I've recovered from bottom surgery I felt it was time to get back.

I was a little nervous at first but within a few days felt right at home.  I haven't had any negative experiences except a potentially minor one. I was in the sauna (towelled appropriately) very early on a Sunday morning and an older Middle Eastern woman came in, looked at me for a moment then sat down down as far away as possible. She glanced at me again. Within a minute she decided to leave.  Was she just hoping to have the sauna to herself or was she uncomfortable. I will never know but that's the closest it has been to there being any issue. I've even clocked ( I think) two other trans women there. 

I picked up pickleball and am now addicted. So much fun!  I'm having to slow my roll on that a bit though because 4-6 days a week was killing my knees. Now I only play twice a week.

Transition related thoughts: It's been so nice to not be doing all the interventions for a couple of months.  I was fast tracking my transition over the last 2.5 years to the point of sheer exhaustion. That break is coming to an end though. My big scar alone my forehead from FFS is going to be dealt with. Kaiser finally got an FFS surgeon in house who also specializes in scar revisions. SHe suggested an aggressive microneedling for a couple session to see if the scar will remodel. If that fails I will have is surgically revised.  Ugh.  I'm also starting back on facial electrolysis out in Chicago in March.  Hopefully only need 2 more of their marathon sessions. about 80% of my facial hair is gone but the neck is still at about 50%.  On a positive side, after 2 plus years of little to no T, my back and chest hair has finally thinned out enough that I don't deal with the back and only deal with the chest every 2-3 weeks verses more than once a week.

My vaginoplasty is now 4 months post op. Most of it has healed nicely. Dilations are down to 2 times a day. There is a bit of a granuloma formed over the clitoral hood which I may have revised but waiting a bit on that. On a deep personal level, while my neoclitoris has sensation i have yet to manage anything close to an arousal state. My surgeon said that's not unusual. He's confident that things will work with a little more time.  I think there is a mental aspect to all of this since my libido has been really low and dilations are such a chore to me the idea of playing down there hasn't been something I get excited about so a lot of this may be a mental issue.

I am however finally feeling like it might be time to look into dating again. Not that I have time  haha. 

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Good morning, breakfast, then it’s on the road to Laurel, MS 

I remember @Bri2020 Thanks for the update. Hugs.


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Good morning


Plan is to go to a new to us church today.  A couple of neighbors and friends have invited us.  We are looking for a congregation that will be transgender friendly.


@awkward-yet-sweet when we went to Sedona we also thought it was a beautiful place.  Wished we’d had a Jeep to drive off into the desert, but alas we had an airport rental.


Taliesson West outside Phoenix was quite interesting too.


@bri2020 welcome back.  Good to see you again.  Certainly life has been keeping you busy.  Glad to see you are happy.


@Marcie Jensen your whole hog bbq sounds great.  Are you burying it Hawaiian style or doing it on a spit western style?  Both are great of course.


Well, I guess I need to start getting ready.  I messed up my nail polish yesterday so that’s going to take some extra time.





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1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

the idea of playing down there hasn't been something I get excited about


Hi, @Bri2020, good to see you.


I am 3 years post-op.  My clitoris has sensation and some mild arousal is possible, but I have heard that 90% of the "big O" is mental.  With no libido, I just haven't gotten there.  Like you, I just can't get excited about making the effort. 

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1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Hi everyone, remember me?

Of course!

Glad to hear things are working out so well for you.

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Hi @Bri2020. Glad you're back. Don't worry about the Middle Eastern woman too much. Speaking as someone who lived and worked over ther for a long time, I suspect it was nothing more than her culture. Most women from that area, especially Muslims, are very retiring in public. Of course, they rule the roost inside the home. This is particularly true of the more traditional Muslim states such as Saudi Arabia. It's just the way of thing


And @Willow the pig is in the ground, sorta. I'm doing it Southern Style as opposed to Hawaiian. I once tried to BBQ a whole lamb on a spit when I was going through the military's language school in Monterrey, CA. That didn't' turn out very well; it was a "Hold my beer boys. Watch this!" experience. Since then, I haven't done anything that big on a spit. I think it was when the FT Ord fire department showed up along with a couple of angry MPs that my buddies and I realized something was wrong. 🤣 It was a major "oops" moment.



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@Marcie Jensen I discovered small fire crackers set off in the flew pipe of an older barracks made an amplified sound like a small cannon going off at Lowery AFB back in 1969.  But I had to be watchful.  It would bring the Air Police out scouting around for the source.  I would set a few off then go back to my room.  I saw them slowly drive by once so I knew I had to be cautious.  But hey, it was Independence Day week. Some celebration was called for.



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Good morning everyone,


Hotel room coffee is brewing, and life is underway. 


So I guess it’s a BC morning.


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Good morning 🥶


Ok it’s not THAT cold but I’m cold.  Could it be something I injected?  Let’s try this one,, we’ve been watching Outlander on NETFLEX.  I found the last two or three episodes we watched to be very sad. I cried a lot.  Could it be something I injected?  Ok, I’ve always been sensitive about movies.  But this was outright blubbering at one point.  Nipples are tender too.


I had a dream about my son last night.  No big deal, nothing to report.  I wasn’t feeling well so I laid down, and didn’t watch the second half of the Super Bowl.  I’d much rather they’d both lost.


I made bread yesterday.  I followed a recipe I’ve used once before but didn’t like.  But I was out of instant yeast and had to use active yeast.  Today’s recipes don’t call for sifting the flour, but I haven’t been as happy with my bread as I thought I should so I tried using flour I sifted before adding it to the mixer.  Was that why? I don’t know for certain but it is better bread than I had been making.  Perhaps I’m on to something forgotten.


the rain should be over for now. And fence-o-meter should start rising again.


@KymmieL good news, bad news.  I taped the opening around my sun roof, but I still have a water leak.  Drivers side A piller.


the only thing left I suppose is the windshield seal.  I lifted it to run a Sirius XM antenna wire in the void of the windshield glass to the body. I guess that may have disturbed the seal.  I guess I’ll try some O O O. O’Reily’s windshield sealant next.  

Headed to Charleston again this morning.  This time for my wife.  I’ve got to get moving.  Coffee was good and so was the pieces of toast I ate with it.


until later, have a good Monday.  No calling out sick with a Super Bowl hangover.



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8 hours ago, Willow said:

@Marcie Jensen I discovered small fire crackers set off in the flew pipe of an older barracks made an amplified sound like a small cannon going off at Lowery AFB back in 1969.  But I had to be watchful.  It would bring the Air Police out scouting around for the source.  I would set a few off then go back to my room.  I saw them slowly drive by once so I knew I had to be cautious.  But hey, it was Independence Day week. Some celebration was called for.



OMG! Willow, that has me in stitches! I know people; okay, maybe I was one, who would do something like that!!!!! Reminds me of the most scary things you can hear in the military,


1. A 2LT saying "Based on my training..."

2. A CPT saying "Based on my experience..."

3. A senior NCO saying "Trust me, sir" 


4. A Warrant Officer saying "Hold my beer, boys and WATCH THIS!"


Thank you for sharing. It made my monday morning.

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7 minutes ago, Katie23 said:
2 hours ago, Mmindy said:


I try to never travel by ground without my own keurig and pods. It saves the hassle of hotel coffee!

Katie, I restrained my wife’s luggage, and out of respect for her. I could either bring the KEURIG or the Water Pick, I chose oral hygiene. 




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@Willow The windshield seal came to mind when you said A pillar.


Over the weekend our Explorer count went up to number 9. let me preface this, we have a 2000 Explorer limited that we sold to our youngest. After we purchased our 2020 Ranger. He thought the transmission was giving him problems, so he attempted to fix. Made it worse, a couple weeks ago we took it to Ft.Collins to a -transgender- shop. It wound up being the torque converter. With a rebuild and new converter it would be over $3800.


At first the wife was we'll get it fixed. But the youngest argued that the motor is making noises and could go. So it was decided to not fix it and drive it till it died.  Youngest has been looking at facebook marketplace (as he always does) seeing what other ones he could find. Long story short, he finds a built up 94 Explorer they go down and pick it up.


By built I mean built for Off roading lift, bigger tires, High$$ shocks, winch, Etc,Etc. I keep finding more done to it. paid 6k for it but worth much more. it is so cool. Went yesterday Morn before work to try and play. The area is closed till Apr. We are going to share it.


Off today, going down to get the other Explorer. Going to work on the wagon and bike after. Close tomorrow then off for 9 days to fly back to Mich and deal with that.





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1 hour ago, Katie23 said:


Keurig is always looking for innovation. Tell them to come up with a combo machine!

Wait a minute… filling the Water-pic with coffee. My dentist will love that. 




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Certainly, one of our TP engineers will figure this one out.  Seem pretty easy to me.  

1.  Modify water heater so it doesn’t burn your mouth, but can still make a hot coffee - switch or thermostat to control water heater.

2.  Use a pod replacement instead of coffee pod.  There are several available on Amazon, in grocery stores Or Keurig website.

3.  Modify internal of replacement pod to add pulsing.

4.  Attach water pick hose and nozzle to the outlet of the pod when mounted in the Keurig.


Easy peasy you’ve got a tooth-for one coffee maker.


I claim 5% royalty rights.



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@KymmieL hmm, I was thinking I should get a 4 wheel transfer case that would bolt up to the output shaft of my transmission.  Replace the front 2wd suspension with Fords fwd explorer suspension.  A poor man’s off road explorer.  Guess someone beat me to it.


question, couldn’t you have found a newer Explorer for the same $3800?  I don’t figure my ‘04 Eddie Bauer is worth that much.  If my -transgender- went out, I’d be calling my local auto parts yard.  But I don’t have the absolute need to have it.



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3 hours ago, Willow said:

@KymmieL hmm, I was thinking I should get a 4 wheel transfer case that would bolt up to the output shaft of my transmission.  Replace the front 2wd suspension with Fords fwd explorer suspension.  A poor man’s off road explorer.  Guess someone beat me to it.


question, couldn’t you have found a newer Explorer for the same $3800?  I don’t figure my ‘04 Eddie Bauer is worth that much.  If my -transgender- went out, I’d be calling my local auto parts yard.  But I don’t have the absolute need to have it.



I suspect that the older vehicles will be worth more in the future.  It seems like the latest stuff is harder to fix, has more touchy electric components, etc...  Right now the early 2000s vehicle seem to be cheap. My GF is grabbing them up, and seems to have her own parts yard growing out back.  


Now if I could just find something to keep her in the house more... She's always working on stuff in her shop.  I go in to keep her company, and she growls and chases me out.  Apparently I'm a "pest" 🙄. Girl's got zero social graces. 

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Ok ha ha ha. How come transmission became “-transgender-“?  Auto correct might change transmission to transgender but not with the hyphens.  But that’s ok, we all need some fun and a good laugh.


I deserve to be picked on.  I dish it out so I’d better be able to take it.  🥹


Hugs to all, especially my secret changer.



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Good morning everyone! The dogs have been walked and fed, and I've had my first cup of coffee so now it's time to catch up with the world. It's 4AM as I write this - can't seem to break this early rising habit of many years. But, I do love the peacefulness of this time of day and get to watch the world around me come to life. 


I'm off to help 2 aging/sick relatives today. Be safe and happy!!!

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@April Marie I get it about early rising. It's a habit I can't break. I love the early morning, too. Sitting on the patio with that first cup of coffee savoring the peace and stillness of this time of day is very special. I believe it was John Wayne (not someone I usually quote) who said that just after midnight was his favorite time of day, because it was not only a new day, but it was fresh, new and pure; filled with promise and hope.  It's an easy sentiment to appreciate.

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    • KymmieL
      @Willow I sent you a message on the fix for your HVAC system in your Eddie. Hope it helps.   Wow, your boss must like you or something sending you to another store to screw theirs up. Have fun. I've had to do it before. Actually got sent to the Rawlins, WY store for a week to help out. Company footed the hotel bill.   I have got 2 weeks to get the wagon up and running. She is getting there. need to hook up the PCV valve, install the plug wires, Add coolant, and gas. Then install the new chrome valve covers that should be here on Friday.  Then cross my fingers that everything works right.   Hugs,   Kymmie
    • natalianatalia
      Hi Nicole have a nice Month!! fortunately i find a person here in Greece that doing this job to teaching how to chnage the voice and thak you so much for the link its great!
    • natalianatalia
      Hi Ashley, have a nice month! my personal doctor said to me that hrt change the organism and psychology from 6 months to years depending on person 
    • MaybeRob
      "Those are many of the same groups, along with Romany peoples, mentally challenged and physically deformed peoples whom the unhealthy politics targeted".   Looking from a distance that's what I am seeing. The former president's rallies looked eerily similar to the unhealthy politics Rallies, pre war.  It's the same principle - blame them they are different. Hate hate hate! seems to be the policy atm, and not just in the US.    MaybeRob
    • missyjo
      thank you both for your kind n wise words hugs
    • VickySGV
      @Sally Stone  We do actually have some folks out in "The Jungle" doing some fighting in ways that do not leave physical injury to be cleaned up, but rather with good service to our communities and the ones who could be hurt badly in both our Trans and Cis friends.  I and another Staff member  here are members of community service organizations, which are doing effective work in legal assistance and community information and entertainment positions.  Participating at your local level in organizations that work with community leaders is a lot of fun and gives the bullies more opposition than they expect.  I have got three cities to cover this year for Pride Proclamation Presentations that let the citizens of those cities know that their elected leaders consider us to be real and HONORABLE members of the community (not to mention that we VOTE as well.).  There is much we can do that is low stress and just some handshaking and being present to remind leaders of our humanity is often successful.   
    • Carolyn Marie
      I agree wholeheartedly with what you say, @Sally Stone.  Even regarding bullies, I have my own similar experience.  In 9th grade I was in Agriculture Class, and a strong, tall bully starting throwing dirt clods at me.  No reason, I was just a small, weak, easy target.  One day I had had enough, and I walked up to him and told him to stop.  He grabbed my shirt and literally lifted me off the ground.  I didn't flinch, didn't back down, looked him in the eye and told him off in colorful language.  I didn't pop him, but I think he knew I would.  He never bothered me again.   Anyway, concerning our trans troubles, the problem isn't just bullies, although that's a big part of it.  it's also the whole political climate, with the far right "base," conspiracy theorists, bloggers, pundits and politicians needing reasons for why things aren't like the mythical "good old days," which they long for.  We are different, easily identifiable (not in just in terms of physical presence, but b/c we also have symbols), and small in numbers.  We, along with Jews, Muslims, homosexuals, even Blacks, are easily "othered."   Those are many of the same groups, along with Gypsies, mentally challenged and physically deformed peoples whom the Nazis targeted.  Things won't turn out the same - America is not the same culture, and the players are not the murderous thugs and fascists of the 1930's & 1940's; but there are similar elements.   That is why we have to fight like hell politically and in the courts to keep the bullies at bay.  We have an uphill climb, but we will succeed in the long run.  I have to believe that.   Sorry for the long rant.   Carolyn Marie
    • Birdie
      Yeah, they are bewildered by us. Strange also how they want to tell us what gender we are. "Excuse me, I'm half and half, I think I get to decide?"
    • Betty K
      Me neither. No more punching walls for me. I default to tears instead. I always cried a lot, but I often had to go through anger to get there. Now it’s the other way round. I’m still angry — I’m absolutely furious at conservative society and how it held us all back and is still trying to do so — but I don’t really feel it till I’ve felt the sadness. I think the anger is useful though. I don’t let it own me like I used to, but I’m not just going to give the bigots a free pass. I think straight society deserves a dose of righteous trans anger.
    • Sally Stone
      I do my best to ignore the rhetoric, hate, and marginalization directed towards us, but there are days when I simply want to crawl into a hole to avoid it all.  To date, I haven't actually descended into a hole and instead, I find myself wondering why we have such a big target on our backs.  It's not like we are bad people.  In fact, most of us just want to go through life being who we want to be, living in the skin that makes us most comfortable.     Maybe it's an epiphany of sorts, maybe I've just climbed out from under my proverbial rock, but it's obvious we are a big target because bullies just love the ones who don't fight back.  They feel empowered when they can direct their vitriol at someone knowing that someone won't fight back.  I remember back when I was in junior high.  I was bullied terribly by a pair of classmates for nearly two years.  They both identified me as an easy target because I wouldn't stand up for myself.  I chose to be nonconfrontational.  But two-years is a long time to be bullied and finally, when I couldn't take it any more, I beat the snot out of one of those two bullies.  I only stood up to one of them but they both got my message and neither ever bothered me again.  It just goes to show that bullies are generally nothing more than blowhards and when they realize you are willing to stand up to them, they back down, or they go find someone weaker to prey on.   What we are dealing with these days is no different.  Our desire to be left alone, to live quietly without having to be confrontational, unfortunately, has sent the wrong message and made us easy targets.  Okay, I am in no way advocating violence here.  I'm not saying the way to take back our lives we have to punch our detractors in the nose.  What I am saying however, is we need a stronger collective voice.  A voice that delivers the message: "Don't f*** with us.  It's all a matter of having a collective voice that drowns out the bullies.    For most of us, I know our trans situation, our intense desire to fly under the radar, often prevents us from speaking out.  Unfortunately, this is not "the way."  I'm pretty certain that if we want the rhetoric, the hate, and the marginalization to stop, we have to be the ones to step up and make it stop.  Waiting for anyone else to do it for us, is going to a very long wait.       
    • Willow
      Hi   so my hours for tomorrow were changed, I start two hours earlier now, at 10 instead of noon, and at a different store.  It’s just a mile or two further away.  Off Friday, the. I work Saturday and Sunday.   @KymmieL I was wondering if you could recommend a good Ford Eddie Bauer Explorer gurl in Myrtle Beach.  I need to open up the heater AC mixer it seems the mixer flap isn’t moving.  Also, the driver side sunroof drain hose is disconnected or rotted.  I need to get into that too.  What do you think 🤔?  Finally, I got some sanding and painting to get done on the roof.  And all to be done with out a garage or a compressor.   let’s see a few spray cans of paint. Some sandpaper A couple feet of 3/8 id hose, and maybe some vacuum hose should handle the supplies.  So, what do you think?  Got any recommendations?  lol 😝    I put a new battery in it a couple weeks ago.  Amazing what all that fixed.  Biggest issue will be replacing the control switches on the steering wheel.  There is a risk of tripping the air bag if I mess up.  Once I’ve done all this it will be like a 20 year old car with 172,000 miles again.   time for bed    Willow    
    • Ivy
      I used to be always just a little bit angry at nothing in particular.  I just suppressed it.  That kinda went away for me when the egg cracked.
    • Ivy
      Seems about right…
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      Hot wings cold beer equals smile
    • EasyE
      This one made me laugh, smile
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