Coming out to family and friends/co-workers in the military

[Lorry]

I'm just recently coming to terms with myself and realizing there is nothing wrong will the way I feel. I've struggled with this sense middle school and have only just now accepted it now that I'm getting close to 30. The last week or so I've been losing sleep trying to figure out just how to tell my wife and family (no kids). And that's just the top of the ice burg, if also been in the army national guard for 6 years and just added 2 more years to my contract. In 2016 the army policy on trans changed to be more inclusive but I'm still not sure if I should come out now or wait the two years.

 

I know there is a military support forum in addition to the coming out forum, I just feel this covers both and I don't want to take up to much forum space.

[RithiaAllen]

The military is a difficult complication which is a shame because it is such a fundamentally important thing that our young people are doing.

 

Are you enlisted or commissioned? I ask because enlisted people are treated more like property. My suggestion is to take your time and be cautious. The last thing you want is to get sent to the brig, get a section 8 discharge or a dishonorable discharge.

[Jani]

You may want to wait on coming out to your ANG unit because I believe the policy is still young and too much in flux.  Focus instead on talking to your wife.  I found after speaking with a counselor that it was somewhat easier as I had been able to talk it over and I felt a bit better about myself.  You could say you want to see a therapist for anxiety you are feeling, which isn't an untrue statement.  Don't worry about taking up space.  That's why we're here. 

 

Jani 

[Lorry]

Today while my wife and I was out shopping for Xmas gifts our casher was a trans female who recently started HRT and really inspired me. So I kinda just blurted it out when we got in the car. She was incredibly supportive and understanding. We are going to go clothes/wig shopping tomorrow and she is going to help me with make up.

 

To address Rithia's question, im currently a NCO (CPL if that matters). 

 

[Susan R]

Congratulations Lorry,  this is incredible news! ?  You've just opened a new chapter in your lives.  Does it feel as if a weight has been lifted?  At least, that's how it felt when I first came out to my wife.  I am so happy for you.  I wish you both the very best at incorporating this new facet into your marriage.

 

Susan R?