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A Predicament


FalknerNessa98

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 I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not?

 

Regular me:

32754279_240797883340428_3812347176772698112_n.jpg.5a9baa222fcc8c0d7ccfba24094d35c6.jpg

 

Fem me:

DoUAp0sUwAAJep6.thumb.jpg.b36b233b4195906208fbd8677648d539.jpg

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I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not?

 

Not exactly sure what your male name is, Lauren i will use for the sake of this reply.

 

lauren I see you have a dilemma on your hands.   I don't actually know you, apart from what you have wrote in your introduction.  I think your first line pretty well wrapped up for your orientation, as you confessed you only have one thing on your mind word started with the letter "P".  Obviously relationships and commitment are never easy, even more so when not being sure of your own persuasion,  the thing is in your case confession of your interest in the "P" word says to me that you have discovered your true sexuality, however you maybe either living in denial of the truth, or realise your sexuality and cannot accept it, or the thought of a life long commitment with whoever and whatever might scare you.  Either way the answer here is same as it usually is and that simply is to follow your preferences and follow your heart,  even if the thought of getting commited scares you, surely the prospect of living your whole life on your own must certainly be more scary.   Take a stand outside of your proverbial box and recollect how you felt about having a female partner, also with how you felt with your Male partner, did either relationships tick more boxes of your needs than the other..if so follow it.   Even maybe if it's your male partner.  Lifes too long to be spent alone.  (Quote)  Read the signs (from the film) final destination!   maybe, you'll find your true heart and find your true final destination ok.     I wish you well, and I hope I have not come over blunt to you... maybe a bit of a jolt was needed in order to get your thoughts moving in order to resolve your dilemma.

 

Warm Regards

 

Melissa

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  • Forum Moderator

Loren, unless you are desperate to find a place to live i would spend a little more time dating this man prior to moving in.  At this point if you have never slept with each other that move seems premature.  

Please don't forget there is a big difference between occasionally crossdressing and being a woman full time.  The decision is larger than a relationship so consider carefully.

Sharing here hopefully will help.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Hi Loren,  As a parent, I will offer some parental advice.  "Interested in cross dressers", and "hellbent", are two serious red flags for me.  It sounds like he is older than you are. What does this man like about you, other than crossdressing?  Why is he so hellbent (i.e. controlling) on you moving in with him and living fem full time?  Does he love you for the person that you are, or are you merely a sex toy to satisfy his crossdressing fetish? This could become very dangerous for you very fast. Personally, I would run as fast as possible from this controlling person. Take all the time you need to explore your sexuality with people close to your own age and support yourself so that you are not vulnerable to predators. Just my 2 parental cents.

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Hi Loren, all the advice given here so far should be taken seriously to heart.  There are so many variables left out in this introduction, that any other advice promoting you to move in would be lunacy.  One of the few major concerns, would be your current living conditions.  If you move in and it doesn't work out, where does this leave you?  Can you afford to set yourself up in a new place or will you be forced to move in with parents or friends.  As mentioned by others, there's so much more to living with a person than just the sex.  It's tough enough to commit to one person let alone one gender if you're still unsure and questioning your sexual preference.  You mentioned you're bi so the big question would be,..are you ready for a commitment on some level with this man and forego exploring the other side of yourself?  Another big question is...how accommodating is he about you and your way of life.  I'm talking about several things here.  Your hanging out with your friends at his place.  Will he allow you to bring all of your "stuff", your friends, and treat you as an equal?  Is he going to bring in lovers to your relationship and if he does, how are you feeling about that?  Is he the jealous type?  I don't have much information to answer any of this.  But it really doesn't matter because these are all thing you'll have to decide before making such a move.  I, myself, would stay squarely on the side of caution based on what you've presented here.

 

Just my 2¢,

Susan R?

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13 hours ago, FalknerNessa98 said:

 I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not?

 

Regular me:

32754279_240797883340428_3812347176772698112_n.jpg.5a9baa222fcc8c0d7ccfba24094d35c6.jpg

 

Fem me:

DoUAp0sUwAAJep6.thumb.jpg.b36b233b4195906208fbd8677648d539.jpg 

 

EDIT: I realized that there are some things I have left out so I'm going to give a little more context, for starters he's two years older than me and the longest I've ever spent with him was a month. I can see myself dating him long term, like I said I was seeing this girl and we both decided we weren't  the right fit. Fast forward to September, some time has past and I've gotten lonely and I decide to go out dancing en femme with a couple of my friends and he came up to us, noticed me and we began talking. I told him everything about a week after we first met, he told me he had a thing for cross-dressers and that I was very attractive, we've been seeing each other casually since.

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The one thing I would say is that you should want to live full time. Not do it because someone wants you to. That’s where regrets come from. And also unless you can live for yourself on your own and be happy it’s hard to know what you really want. Living with people is messy and difficult. Add learning how to live female into that and it’s a lot to deal with learn about and handle. 

Id think real long and hard about this situation if I were you. Going from xdressing male to full time female is a difficult process to say the least. One you will need real support with.  Not drama. Or issues. Or stupid crap. 

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