Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

A Predicament


FalknerNessa98

Recommended Posts

 I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not?

 

Regular me:

32754279_240797883340428_3812347176772698112_n.jpg.5a9baa222fcc8c0d7ccfba24094d35c6.jpg

 

Fem me:

DoUAp0sUwAAJep6.thumb.jpg.b36b233b4195906208fbd8677648d539.jpg

Link to comment

I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not?

 

Not exactly sure what your male name is, Lauren i will use for the sake of this reply.

 

lauren I see you have a dilemma on your hands.   I don't actually know you, apart from what you have wrote in your introduction.  I think your first line pretty well wrapped up for your orientation, as you confessed you only have one thing on your mind word started with the letter "P".  Obviously relationships and commitment are never easy, even more so when not being sure of your own persuasion,  the thing is in your case confession of your interest in the "P" word says to me that you have discovered your true sexuality, however you maybe either living in denial of the truth, or realise your sexuality and cannot accept it, or the thought of a life long commitment with whoever and whatever might scare you.  Either way the answer here is same as it usually is and that simply is to follow your preferences and follow your heart,  even if the thought of getting commited scares you, surely the prospect of living your whole life on your own must certainly be more scary.   Take a stand outside of your proverbial box and recollect how you felt about having a female partner, also with how you felt with your Male partner, did either relationships tick more boxes of your needs than the other..if so follow it.   Even maybe if it's your male partner.  Lifes too long to be spent alone.  (Quote)  Read the signs (from the film) final destination!   maybe, you'll find your true heart and find your true final destination ok.     I wish you well, and I hope I have not come over blunt to you... maybe a bit of a jolt was needed in order to get your thoughts moving in order to resolve your dilemma.

 

Warm Regards

 

Melissa

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Loren, unless you are desperate to find a place to live i would spend a little more time dating this man prior to moving in.  At this point if you have never slept with each other that move seems premature.  

Please don't forget there is a big difference between occasionally crossdressing and being a woman full time.  The decision is larger than a relationship so consider carefully.

Sharing here hopefully will help.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Hi Loren,  As a parent, I will offer some parental advice.  "Interested in cross dressers", and "hellbent", are two serious red flags for me.  It sounds like he is older than you are. What does this man like about you, other than crossdressing?  Why is he so hellbent (i.e. controlling) on you moving in with him and living fem full time?  Does he love you for the person that you are, or are you merely a sex toy to satisfy his crossdressing fetish? This could become very dangerous for you very fast. Personally, I would run as fast as possible from this controlling person. Take all the time you need to explore your sexuality with people close to your own age and support yourself so that you are not vulnerable to predators. Just my 2 parental cents.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Loren, all the advice given here so far should be taken seriously to heart.  There are so many variables left out in this introduction, that any other advice promoting you to move in would be lunacy.  One of the few major concerns, would be your current living conditions.  If you move in and it doesn't work out, where does this leave you?  Can you afford to set yourself up in a new place or will you be forced to move in with parents or friends.  As mentioned by others, there's so much more to living with a person than just the sex.  It's tough enough to commit to one person let alone one gender if you're still unsure and questioning your sexual preference.  You mentioned you're bi so the big question would be,..are you ready for a commitment on some level with this man and forego exploring the other side of yourself?  Another big question is...how accommodating is he about you and your way of life.  I'm talking about several things here.  Your hanging out with your friends at his place.  Will he allow you to bring all of your "stuff", your friends, and treat you as an equal?  Is he going to bring in lovers to your relationship and if he does, how are you feeling about that?  Is he the jealous type?  I don't have much information to answer any of this.  But it really doesn't matter because these are all thing you'll have to decide before making such a move.  I, myself, would stay squarely on the side of caution based on what you've presented here.

 

Just my 2¢,

Susan R?

Link to comment
13 hours ago, FalknerNessa98 said:

 I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not?

 

Regular me:

32754279_240797883340428_3812347176772698112_n.jpg.5a9baa222fcc8c0d7ccfba24094d35c6.jpg

 

Fem me:

DoUAp0sUwAAJep6.thumb.jpg.b36b233b4195906208fbd8677648d539.jpg 

 

EDIT: I realized that there are some things I have left out so I'm going to give a little more context, for starters he's two years older than me and the longest I've ever spent with him was a month. I can see myself dating him long term, like I said I was seeing this girl and we both decided we weren't  the right fit. Fast forward to September, some time has past and I've gotten lonely and I decide to go out dancing en femme with a couple of my friends and he came up to us, noticed me and we began talking. I told him everything about a week after we first met, he told me he had a thing for cross-dressers and that I was very attractive, we've been seeing each other casually since.

Link to comment

The one thing I would say is that you should want to live full time. Not do it because someone wants you to. That’s where regrets come from. And also unless you can live for yourself on your own and be happy it’s hard to know what you really want. Living with people is messy and difficult. Add learning how to live female into that and it’s a lot to deal with learn about and handle. 

Id think real long and hard about this situation if I were you. Going from xdressing male to full time female is a difficult process to say the least. One you will need real support with.  Not drama. Or issues. Or stupid crap. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 116 Guests (See full list)

    • Evelyn J
    • Miss Cormac
    • Susan R
    • VickySGV
    • MaybeRob
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...