What I’ve learned in life about spirituality and being transgender

[Josie Beth]

Years ago when I first tried to take the baby steps into transition, I was in a very introspective place in my life. I’d read anything I could get my hands on. How to practice by the dahli llama, the 7 daughters of eve, about DNA, and several web pages about transgender expression in culture around the world. And it occurred to me that the whole world is broken, that there was this imbalance between masculine and feminine, and gender expression was a way that the universe was trying to not only bring it into balance but to send everyone a clear message to do their part to make it right. So I began to accept my female identity. It was so liberating and affirming to realize my life was with purpose and I didn’t have to fit into everyone else’s definition of me about who I was. 

 

In Thailand there’s a belief that trans women are put into the world to learn how to love because they failed that lesson before, but the new lesson is not a punishment, it’s an opportunity to be genuine and find love in spite of the obstacle of being born with the wrong gender. To me that is a beautiful thought and speaks about the brilliance of the spiritual nature of transgender women and our resilience.

 

Later I discovered a website that reinterprets some of the most disparaging commentary in the New Testament about gender and sexuality. The skeptics annotated bible. I read all the arguments, did actual word studies and found that the Bible scholars just didn’t get things wrong but deliberately put a bias on those words to suit their own opinions and completely ignored the context or culture of the times certain texts were written in. So going against ones nature? For a trans woman wouldn’t that mean suppressing her true self? Seems so. 

 

Then I discovered the important function of transgender women through history with regards to fertility blessings and how this still has a place in many cultures: especially in the east and near the Pacific Ocean. Joseph’s coat of many colors, the erasure of Ashera from Hebrew theology, and Hijra in the near east all point to this true narrative. Not to mention how much a part of society they were in native America. So the question became why am I this way? And then the answer was clear. Putting it all together I came to the conclusion that all the hatred and death are a direct result of the imbalance between sacred feminine and sacred masculine. The universe allowed it so we could see it was wrong and sick and it is our purpose to bring things back into balance by outweighing this severe imbalance with our feminine energy. It’s the only way that the world will get it. We have a very important spiritual function.