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Hey.  It's Madison Joan.


I have struggled with overeating my whole life.  I ALWAYS have food on my mind.  Food is my Kryptonite.  It is both made me happy and made me feel like crap.  I remember snacking one day and my brother meanly say, "I hear sad people eat a lot." That really hurt me.  Now I may not be morbidly obese but I fear that my overeating will kill me eventually.  Maybe that's why I'm willing to make a transition because I feel that my gender dysphoria may be the root of my depression.



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  • 5 months later...

for as long as I can remember I wasn't happy in my own skin. Also I have always been an overeater. NOW I am thinking  one may of caused the other. I have not started therapy yet. never have had therapy. just this past week a light went off somewhere in my head!!! holy -crap-, the drugs, the drinking, the overeating. all attributed to gender dysphoria??? thats what I am thinking. Always felt I was pretending to be who I was. no more. my eyes are opening to my true self. shame so late in life. better late than never



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So Marymary

are you saying that hrt helps weight los.?

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  • 1 month later...

I've been overeating... so much stress after coming out to my wife and trying to find the way to tell my kids. I'm struggling with who I am and who I need to be. So for comfort I turn to to food. Sometimes I just drown myself in carbs.  My therapist suggested I see a nutritionist to help to get back on track. So I'm just taking one day at a time. Hope things get better for you.

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  • Forum Moderator

Katy I am not a specialist by any means but as you have identified the source of your angst and understand the why its time to refocus your attention to solving this.  You need to work on removing the stressor in your life.  Your kids are just people like you and more than likely they will be fine.  It was pretty much a non-event when I told my son.  Understand that they love you and if you explain this in a personal way they will understand.  It may not sink in right away but you will have broached the point and will be able to speak freely later.  All my best to you. 


A nutritionist may be a good idea too.


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  • 1 month later...

I am guilty of being formerly an overeater. I think it starts when we're kids and mom says, "eat everything on your plate, kids in other countries would feel lucky to have what you have to eat." It's a guilt thing, moms and everyone else as we grow up use guilt as a bludgeon to make us become compliant. Finally our own stomachs say, "Feed me baby, I'm hungry!" Eventually we come to the place where we begin to realize that filling a dinner plate and making toast for sideboards and going for seconds is killing us. MtF's on hormones will automatically gain a lot of fat. Fat thighs, fat butts, -awesome person- where does it end? 


I'm 5'7" and got up to 240 lbs. One day before Thanksgiving I said ENOUGH! The inlaws, outlaws and the usual suspects that usually show up for the feast with all the booze had finally gotten to me. I decided to eat less and quit drinking. By Christmas I had lost nine pounds, it gave me incentive to change my eating habits. now weigh 170+ - depending on the time of day. I could go lighter but I don't want to look gaunt. Lots of food for the sake of eating and being full no longer has it's appeal. Once you have become master over your stomach's demands, then you are in control again. It's a liberating feeling!

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  • Forum Moderator

You are so right!  Congratulations on having the will power and insight to stop overeating and drinking.  I'm sure you are much healthier for it!  Great!



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Hey Mary...I barely eat that much maybe 1500-2000 a=cals a day at most. I do drinking a bit of whiskey but slow down on that and I am still gaining weight...Your say it could be the HRT.? huh 

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Alex, HRT can contribute to weight gain. I copied this a few years ago, it was written by a really big buff body builder and former Marine who transitioned into the most darling and feminine little thing, this was how she managed it:


(I don't know why this site hyphenates some of the words) ?



The Optimum Plan For Living

Attitude concerning hunger

A significant and probably the main ingredient of success is in the embrace of the empty feeling. At first it feels uncomfortable having been used to hav- ing a full stomach, we tend to freak out when little is in it. But the stomach’s natural default is to be empty. When being used to keeping the ingredients flowing into our stomachs, it develops acidity levels which are necessary for processing all that food. In response when empty it gets overwhelmed with the acidic compounds tickling the empty walls of our stretched silo. We in- terpret this feeling as being hungry, but we are misinterpreting! So unfortu- nately at the beginning we just must overcome this misunderstood feeling and relearn what hunger really is and isn’t.

In your entire lifetime, you may have experienced going full day without any food without even knowing you are hungry only to remember in the evening that you haven't eaten and quite suddenly you are hungry! Keeping your mind on something significant other then meals can do that and oddly you did manage to survive that day!

We can go for a week without food, studies show human potential to sur- vive is much greater then a week and can stretch to upwards of 20 - 40 days.
I’m not suggesting you will do the same, but it is significant to note that go- ing empty for prolonged periods of time actually boosts the immune system and makes our entire system leaner, and prolongs longevity!

Targeting specific desired weight

Targeted body weight is multiplied by a factor of 10 to achieve a specific weight and body mass. For instance if you are 200 lbs. you are taking in 2000 calories a day to maintain that weight. If you are 150 lbs. and wish to achieve and maintain a body weight of 130 lbs. then you have to take in no more than 1300 fat free calories per day. Then one day a week, eat at maintenance levels, around 15 times your bodyweight in calories. This will help to keep the weight loss process constant.

There is much evidence that early man never had obesity problems be- cause they were primarily nomadic hunter - gatherers whose eating habits

were typically more akin to grazing. Their stomachs were rarely put under the stress of digesting three large meals a day until much later in history when civilization changed all that and men lived to eat rather than eat to live and began storing fat reserves on their bodies. We can emulate that healthy dividing our proposed caloric intake into 4 or 5 small meals per day taking undue pressure off of the digestive tract allowing it to become more efficient and thus the body to metabolize nutrients more efficiently as well and store much less as unwanted fat. A balanced intake ratio is 40% lean protein to 60% carbohydrates from fruits and vegetables, the necessary fat ratio is the amount that is inherently in the meats, fruits and vegetables al- ready along with any fats from oils used in cooking. When preparing, re- move as much fat as possible from meats, remove skin and fat from chick- en or turkey. Never fry, always bake or roast using a light amount of either extra virgin olive oil or sesame oil and spice rubs on meats.


Non processed fat does not make you fat as long as it has its enzymes present!
A diet emblem on store packaging does not ensure you will be ingesting a lean food, in fact what it surely means, you will be ingesting more pro- cessed, more chemically infested, dead something featured as food! Organic doesn't mean better, it mens pesticide free which is rather doubtful. Fast acting Diets are simply a lie, anything significant will need long term commitment.
Salt isn't your enemy, in fact in dry environments where hydration is scarce salt will help retain vital hydration although there is a fine line between good and bad. However, salt is a much better ingredient for preserving food than some preservatives on the market such as MSG.

Foods that are good

Soy is a good substitute for dairy milk, soy milk should be a positive step although some find the watery taste of soy milk not particularly seductive. Fish, Omega - 3 loaded fresh fish is on top of healthy eating, but fried breaded fish is not!

Chicken and Turkey are a good protein source though not as significant as fish is.
Vegetables, most will be very nutritious, go with your taste buds, they con- tain information of what your body needs!

Fruits and their fructose, natural sugars are a good source of sweets, fresher they are the better!
Nuts are a great source of fatty acids such as Omega - 3 and if you are not allergic, are a great replacement for snacking on a sugary stuff.

Eating live non cooked meals is the best way, cooking isn't bad and pro- vides warm meals, but the more raw the meal the more the benefit, provid- ing it is safe!


Eliminate allergen sources. We ingest food allergens we have absolutely no idea about. It is laborious to test what your body accepts and rejects, but significantly proven are several allergenic foods which simply spread havoc on our digestive system. Eating such foods is the main reason for most, heartburn, stomach aches, diarrhea, constipation, upset stomach, headaches, even migraines.


Milk is one of the most allergenic in the food group, it contains fats which are complex and hard to digest, a significant percentage of the population is hyper allergic to it. Not many are aware of it, and the dairy industry con- ceals the truth to promote their own interests. All milk products are the same, except for fermented foods, such as Yogurts, Keffirs, butter milk and sour cheese.

Staying away from Dairy will lessen stress on your digestive track, that is if you can eliminate such sources.
Eliminating breads and grain is full of pesticides and allergens, it can be substituted with multigrain not containing wheat.

Peanuts also come under allergenic compounds.
Most important is to keep vigil of how you feel after eating a specific food, and act on it, if a particular ingredient makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is potentially an allergen and it should be avoided!
Just because most people can be allergic to it doesn't mean you are! So again, observe your own response, if you feel energetic and good after eat- ing it then it is good for you!

Foods that we could do without
Quit eating bread, sugar and red meats, the fatty acids in those meats are simply toxic, but a small intake will be fine, white meats are much better because of naturally leaner fatty makeup, keep portions to 5oz or less, vi- sualize a 4”x4”x1” portion.
Enzymes, without them in food we may as well be eating paper! Enzymes are in every living food, when food is processed those enzymes are deplet- ed or totally gone, our digestive system is dependent on enzymes to burn the food efficiently, that which isn’t burned is stored as fat.
If you were to have a good red meat full of enzymes, you would have to eat it raw, but because of the health concerns you can’t. Fish and sea food, or eating fresh sushi, or seared tuna steak will provide you with an Omega - 3 and enzyme rich meal. There is another solution, a simple trip to the super market for fruits and vegetables with their skin intact which contains rich amounts of enzymes.

Fact! Cutting into any veggie or fruit you start a clock ticking, it takes 30 - 120 minutes to deplete the enzymes from your food by oxidization so buy a small enough tomato that you can eat at one sitting.

Get to know your food

Your emotions have a lot to do with digestion, it works both ways and when we are severely stressed it surely shows in the digestive track. We may think that our emotions are only in our brain but remember the saying gut feeling? Our gut doesn’t process well when we are eating as a response to emotions.

Your senses

Use your sense, especially the sense of smell, it is amazing how you can zero in on the foods you want just by that sense alone. You will shortly step down from large portions to smaller portions and by that your internal or- ganism now will go into a lean mode, it will be way more keen on finding more nutrition per gram, it is a marvelous system, works by it self and by default less food means a need more nutritious content.

Touch your food, you can tell how ripe the veggie is by its softness, if all the senses tell you this is it then go for it, but make sure you consciously take time to really understand what food means to you and it isn't a mere thing

you have always done out of habit. Food is a gift not to be abused, and as much part of us as our minds, hearts and souls.


As important to a diet lifestyle besides food intake is the hydration, water is the purest of the substances, zero calories yet it cools, hydrates and regu- lates cells metabolic rates. Without water we perish, without sufficient water we undermine the process of healthy digestion.

Drink lots of water, not only will it hydrate but also in the periods of an emp- ty stomach, it will dilute the acidity in our stomachs and fill in the spot to lessen the hunger feeling.


Any form of exercise stresses the body increasing metabolic rates. Howev- er anyone wishing to look slim and fit would do well to avoid lifting weights and limit purposeful exercise to cardio and repetitious movements devoid of weights and excessive straining which only builds muscle mass thus creat- ing bulk and adding weight. The average adult has all the muscle neces- sary for their lifestyle, tone is the key to a sleek appearance! Your exercise program should focus primarily on moderate intensity endurance walking for 30 - 40 minutes a day three times a week to start then increase to five times a week taking advantage of hilly areas which are good to increase the heart rate. This augments your total caloric deficit, and creates an overall catabolic environment which is conducive to loss of excessive weight.


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Glad you can use the information, I follow that advice for the most part and it has enabled me to drop two sizes in jeans and tops. I was wearing women's size 16 and dropped to misses 12 and may wind up a 10 shortly. Tried on some men's Levis at JCPenney, just awful because there is no room for anyone who has an ass. I prefer women's mid-rise since I wear them high in the crotch and prefer the belt line breaking across my navel, nice stretchy material moves well with one's body. Not given to boasting, just sharing this as a means of encouragement to others.


I avoid bread for the most part as it is loaded with GMO grains, anything with high fructose corn syrup. Orowheat has some sandwich thins that aren't bad for those times that you just need bread for things like an egg salad sandwich, or that once in a great while moment when you just have to have a hamburger, it makes perfect skinny buns. I eat very small portions of rice or potatoes occasionally, maybe just 8 little tater tots on an occasional breakfast when I know I'll be doing something strenuous that day. Lots of fruits and veggies, salads with walnut chips and sunflower seeds on top. 

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  • 9 months later...

When I first had to go on anti seizure meds I gained gained some weight which I really needed because I was pretty skinny.

While on the meds I started to eat compulsively and that took me from a normal weight range to very over weight.

My Dr changed my meds and the weight gain wasn't an issue and I lost weight eventually.

3 years ago I was put on Dilantin and like before I started gaining weight again plus the compulsive over eating has returned

I really am not all that upset that I gain here and there and I don't hate my body because I am fat again.

I have learned to love my body as it is and come to grips I am not the perfect woman or have the perfect female body.

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I think a lot has to do with not loving ourselves enough or constantly finding fault in things about ourselves.

Could be job marriage or gender issues it really doesn't matter they all manifest into making you unhappy.

I finally came to a point where I decided all the negative stuff in my life needed to end and work on all the good things

Having some great genetic female friends has really helped me to realize my life was not as bad as I thought it was. They taught me to love myself with all my faults and work on the good part of me.


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  • 4 months later...

I think over doing Thanksgiving  dinner with family  has triggered my compulsive over eating again. Just can't stop eating.

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  • Forum Moderator

Not a big deal. Setbacks happen. Just sit back, breathe and start slowly dropping your calorie intake again. You don't want to go... cold turkey (sorry about that). That'll just make things harder. Start tapering down again until you get to where you want to be intake-wise. Pick foods that make you feel more full, drink plenty of water, etc... you know the drill.


It's hard to maintain a healthy diet around the holidays. I'm baking cookies that I shouldn't eat over the weekend. I have massive dessert plans for Christmas dinner. I'm going to do my best to stick to my diet and hit the gym like a fiend the rest of the time. Hang in there.



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Hey NB 

i being on no crab and it not working as well with me as you but it is working.

Thanks again

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Thanks Jackie I know, I hope the urges taper off soon.

I really  hate dealing with this kind of thing over and over.

Having 0 will power doesn't help either lol.


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  • Forum Moderator

I hear that but it's a marathon, not a sprint. It takes a while for our brains to process gains as well. I keep catching myself in the mirror and wondering, "Who's that?"

I'm basically living on diet bars and protein right now. Surprisingly nutritious though.



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Went shopping yesterday and saw my reflection in the cooler door at the gas station and thought  am I really that big again?

A definite reality check.

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  • Forum Moderator

Yeah, it's super easy to gain weight back in the first place and even easier to do it when you're swimming in estrogen. Don't obsess about it, that'll just make you stress more. I just count my calories. Take care of cravings when they occur and work out M-F. I'm seeing results, but some of my workout partners are guys and they get results SO much faster.


I'm feeding one of them a box of homemade cookies and an entire cheesecake. He just said, "Thanks! I probably needed the calories!" Men. 🦊



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I lost a good bit in the summer of 2017 and kept it off for most all of 2018  and by the end of 2019 I had gained  all 80 lbs of it back again and was kind of depressed about it. More just disappointed in myself I guess.

This year I have surpassed what I gained back in 2019.

2020 has not been a great year for most everybody  I suppose.

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  • Forum Moderator

The virus has been hard on everybody. I know tons of people who have put on weight during the pandemic. My gym is expecting a GIANT surge in membership once the vaccine becomes widespread. Right now it's maybe two dozen of us who come in and follow all the protocols. Masks. Wash equipment before and after use. Social distancing. Etc.


2020 has a couple of bright spots, but yeah. Overall one star at best.



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