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Should a trans boy sleepover with boys or girls?

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Would you allow your transgender teen son to stay in a hotel for a week with two other straight boys for a school trip? Let’s say the Kids do get along in school, but is that enough for you to allow your son, who is still biologically a girl to stay with two guys? If you were a parent of one of the straight boys, would it be insensitive to bring it up to the school to avoid any possible bad situations from happening?  Thanks so much for your help loves!

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Carolyn Marie

Hello, hon, and welcome to Trans Pulse.  I moved your post to this forum as it is where most of our parents look for new topics and posts.


I;m not a parent of a trans youth, but you ask some really good questions, and I hope that some of our wonderful parents contribute to this thread.  For me, I suppose it would depend on the details, such as the ages of the kids, how well you know the cisgender boys and how well your son knows them, the level of supervision, and lots of other things.  It would be a tough call, for sure.


Take care,, and thank you for supporting your son as you do.  That is a wonderful thing, and so very important.




Carolyn Marie

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I cannot make up my mind based on only what you have told me here about this situation.

Unless they are over 18 years old teenagers are still subject to ADULT supervision, so that is a factor as well.  Are you and your child acquainted with the adults going to do this supervision, or are you going to be one of the adult supervisors.  Do the students trust those adults and have they met and interacted with them?   Have the parents of all the students met and gotten to know each other, and has the subject in general been discussed?  This type of dialogue with the other adults is the opening here that my friends with Trans children have gone through.  The answer obtained from that has been about 50/50 with a few working themselves out by the children being in an area reserved for their preferred gender, but solo sleeping areas.Which gender does your child wish to bunk with?  Is there a pajama rule for both boys and girls? If these will be friends your son has had over to your house and whom you both trust for maturity, that is another consideration. It is not a matter of sexual (mis)adventure so much as it is a privacy issue, but believe it or not my experience of many years as a youth leader in two major youth organizations even cis gender boys in their teens were body conscious to a point of fierce privacy.   Cis girls were often the more open and less body shy than the boys unless a period was involved   Having a period during the trip would be the deal breaker though.  Has that been factored in?


My children were cis, but I have dealt with parents of Trans Children in recent years and it is a new experience for all involved. .

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  • 2 years later...

It's been about a year and a half since my daughter transitioned to living as a girl, she recently had a sleepover with 3 other girls. All went went well, it was really wonderful for my daughter because she is bonding with other girls and doing girl things she has not the privilege of doing in the past. 

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         Mom of a TG daughter I think that's GREAT, have caught up by reading some of your past posts do ya think, between the two of us, we can ever convince "the Gender Critical crowd" that an early transition is not so "bad" after-all?


Signed: A "known for 40+ years" trans-parent who feels she did the right by waiting (now have two kids under 23 + 4 grands) but attitudes are slowly changing, just not always for the best!


Things were going really well for a patch, and now this escalation again. 

Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and say, "Go do whatever you want!" 

What a hideous hideous situation to have to contend with!


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(ps: most of the "objections/drama" i see over there centers around FtM rather than Mtf which i find quite IRONIC considering girls working/dressing/presenting "as men" is so much more "socially acceptable" these days! Are the parents just being selfish, thinking more of themselves instead? )

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