Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Dysphoria Causing Ana


killjoyaiden

Recommended Posts

I had started restricting my diet around the time I came out. I was cutting back before then, but it didn't get really bad until dysphoria came into play. I didn't want to be curvy, I didn't want to have a big chest, I didn't want to have a big butt. So, I restricted and restricted. At my worse, I would fast for almost two days, and when I did eat, I wouldn't eat more than 400 calories at the very most. On average I ate 300. I'm in therapy now, and I'm technically in recovery, but I still have those thoughts of restricting, and I catch myself sometimes when I'm trying to cut out as many things as possible. I lost 40 pounds, but it's still not good enough. My hip and chest dysphoria are suffocating, yet nothing is fixing it. I can't start T for at least another two years. Has anyone else experienced this? WHat advice would you give me?

Link to comment

was in a similar place as a teen, refusing to allow any weight gain. i ate more wood products than actual food, would puke most of what i did get down back up, and i would try to stunt my bone growth by fastening physical restrictions around areas i did'nt want to grow any wider... which mostly just resulted in lasting joint damage.
i couldn't tell you up or down about carbs or proper diets, i've never counted them or gone on one right. but, assuming you're young, i would strongly advise that regardless of what shape your body may take, take care of it. you can go back and learn to work around/compensate for areas you don't like, have some removed/others worked on, but it's harder to work back up your physical health if you run it into the ground. try to keep an eye on longterm success.

perhaps try to lose it through exercise or working out rather than diet change. exercise can improve your mental health, and muscle feeds on fat and proteins and will help even out your shape by adding bulk to other, not-necessarily feminine looking places. you don't need to be amab to get built, but muscles are more often stereotyped with a masculine persona, so building up a bit would add a lot more to how you pass than just trying to get skinny enough that there isn't any room for boobs or butt to exist... which, as someone who grew up/and is still stuck far underweight, i'll tell you this right now: you will not get skinny enough to make them go away. i can count each of my ribs from rested-breath and my pelvic corners poke out like roadkill, but i still have a B-cup and hips wider than my shoulders. until you get estrogen blocked out, your body will always default your fat to feminine areas, and they will always be the last parts of your body to deflate as you lose weight. if you're trying to get thin enough that these areas cease to exist, it will not happen until every other part of you is too threadbare to function properly, which will only hinder your transition.
aside from that period symptoms become exponentially more of a pain in the arse the worse your health is, transition itself relies on your overall health. HRT will heavily try on your body's systems and wreak hell on your organs if they're not in good shape, and if you get to be too unhealthy/high risk for anesthesia due to health complications it could stall your SRS indefinitely. if you're getting on T, take care of your liver, don't overdo pain meds if you can help it, don't give into heavy drinking, and give your body the resources it needs to maintain itself. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Limiting your caloric intake to below that needed for healthy sustainment is not good.  You can change your diet to limit certain aspects though.  Also get involved in a weight/strength training program.  Understand that muscle weighs more than body fat so don't focus so much on that as much as on how you look and feel.  It may be exactly what you are looking for. 

Link to comment

Thank you guys so much. You've given me a lot to remember. Thank you, MicahKj, you've definitely helped me. I appreciate you taking your time to write to me. ?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 115 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • KathyLauren
    • VickySGV
    • Birdie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,012
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Kayla93
    Newest Member
    Kayla93
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. 777fleetleader777
      777fleetleader777
      (21 years old)
    2. ArinHallm3
      ArinHallm3
      (18 years old)
    3. ITakMyTime
      ITakMyTime
      (70 years old)
    4. Jess31
      Jess31
      (40 years old)
    5. Natalie71645
      Natalie71645
      (39 years old)
  • Posts

    • FinnyFinsterHH
      Most of my days are good but whenever i realize my chest is there i get physically sick and had pit in my stomach. I dont think binder will help, i have tried to layer sport bra and cant get binder due to parent. Any tips for when this happens?
    • Heather Shay
      What do you do to make someone else feel better or just smile?
    • Heather Shay
      A mixture of good and bad.
    • Heather Shay
      EXCITEMENT The feeling when you expect something good or nice will happen to you. You cannot wait for it to happen. You feel excitement when something very nice is about to happen. For example, when you are about to see a good friend who just returned from a year abroad, when you just received the keys for your new car, or when you are waiting in line for a thrilling rollercoaster ride. In each case, you are experiencing eagerness and impatience in expectation of the upcoming pleasant experience. Excitement is more likely when the anticipated experience is both novel or unique and desirable. It is especially intense if you have been waiting for a long time to obtain the goal, or when excitement is shared with other people and the event makes you feel like you are part of something bigger.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/several-attorneys-general-made-abusive-legal-demands-get-trans-patient-rcna147910     This is a complex issue and I'm no expert, but the actions of these GOP Attorney's General don't pass the smell test.  Their motivations and actions are highly suspect and they lack any credibility.  What else is new, right?  I guess it will all come out in the inevitable court fight.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I went to work with my husband today.  He asked me this morning if I wanted to go...of course I said yes.  I enjoy being with him, and getting away from the house for a little while.  He spent half the day in his office, which I think is why he asked me along.  He made a nest in the corner for me, where I can plug in my laptop and do my stuff...nobody minds me being there.     But today ended up with a strange opportunity.  I had a conversation with my husband's boss, the company owner.  They want some basic graphic design work done, so I think they might hire me to do it.  Nothing fancy, not nearly as complicated as what I've attempted to do for our county.  So I have a meeting with them on Monday, just to look at some details and see if I can do the work they want.  And especially talk about when they need it done, because I still work pretty slowly.  I don't really need or want the money, but its nice to feel like I can do something again. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I went to WM today with the objective of buying sandals: they would be women's, but look like men's; they would be brown or black, not white.  I realized the cheapest way to go  was to go for flip-flops, which I observed were prevalent in the store. So I checked out the women's.  Flowers. White shiny straps. Nothing that could possibly be men's. The best deal was one flip flop for $3.98.  At first I thought that was a pair, then, nope.  And because I comparison shop (is there the same thing in men's?) I found the cheapest over there was $6.98 for a pair of flip flops in green that also match my women's cargo shorts that I love.  Doing the math, finding the pink tax.  Rip off.  I have found a blue tax this way, but usually they charge women more for something than they do men. I guess women tend to lose one flip flop at a time or something. Weird.  The pairs were a lot higher.   So, following my rule, but unhappy with it, I bought the green men's flip flops.  They were the cheapest.  Later wife of mine complimented how masculine I look in my matching shorts and flip-flops.  Inward groan. We have not discussed the Subject in a long time because I think she forgets it is there as soon as the conversation ends.  Or she is trying to talk me out of this.  Not sure.  We only discuss it when necessary, and how often do most couples discuss whether one spouse is one sex or the other? Outside of here, I mean.  So we very seldom talk about it and she is happier if she does not know about it. Super stealth.  I do the laundry and I shower in the shower in the wing away  from the master bed room so I have my own shower.
    • Mmindy
      Good luck @KymmieL    
    • Mirrabooka
      I still do. 😉
    • Mirrabooka
      So do I! You look terrific, @MaeBe!
    • MaeBe
      Aww, shucks! Thank you, @Ashley0616 and @Timi! I find taking a picture of myself so difficult. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...