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Finding Your Personal Female Style


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I suppose this is really aimed at those of us who wish to step out as female in public, or already have. ( My greatest respect to those who have. )


In my early years of crossdressing behind closed doors 'just for me' - style didn't matter one iota - any female clothing was good enough. It was just a big thrill to own anything female; panties soon progressed to stockings, suspenders, skirts. That eventually led to bras, blouses, heels, jewellery, make-up - the whole nine yards! Again, colour co-ordination of matching of anything didn't matter, as nobody else would be looking. The skirts were as short as they could be, the tops as skimpy as possible - everything was ill-fitting and all over the place. Still, it felt great to wear any or all of it, even if I must have looked a mess! It was the feeling of the various materials and how it also made me feel inside, that mattered.


Fast forward about thirty years...


Now that I've finally admitted I'm transgender & I'm thinking of stepping out - it's a whole new ball game. Size matters with clothing it seems and so does everything else. I'm getting my head round wearing neutral colours and perhaps only one brighter or patterned/floral design in an outfit. Age appropriate clothing too - mini skirts don't work so well for the more mature woman, so I've been buying knee-length and midi skirts in prep for the big day... Overall, the wild, wanton look will have to stay behind closed doors where it always was, or only come out at nightclubs, gigs, rock bars etc... ( If I ever get the chance to frequent them again. )


However, I find I'm actually having fun learning style, fashion, correct make-up tips etc... for a more sophisticated look that aims to pass, or at least, gain acceptance. I'd say i'm happy in a Boho/Hippie or Rock Chick zone for casual wear, though I'd love to rock the classic or office/librarian look as well, though not sure if I could pull that off.


Everyday is a school day though & wow, is this a learning curve! 


Keep on, keeping on ladies! 




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I found when I came out that I had no clothes. I did have clothes mind you, but not the right clothes. Try to keep it simple. Jeans, tees, blouses, flats if you’re tall, shorts, etc.... it’s fun having skirts and dresses and heels and all those things too, but if you truly want to come out you’ll need lots of simple easily matchable clothing. Rebuilding an entire wardrobe is a tedious and expensive process. You don’t want to draw a ton of attention to yourself. There is an awkward phase that we all go through. The younger you are the faster that seems to go by. But you’ll get plenty of looks during that time without dressing  with flair. Most days you’ll just want to fit in. 

And above all, HAVE FUN!! Just because it’s expensive and sometimes difficult doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun too. My bestie goes shopping with me all the time now and she really helps me make it fun! Good luck!! 

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The big day came for me a little over a year and a half ago.  The first day of the rest of my life, the day from which point forward I was never going to dress as a male again.  It was also a work day.  In the months prior I had of course talked to all my bosses, colleagues and people in my life who would be impacted by this decision.  At that time I had also been on hormones for about a year and a half and it was beginning to get difficult to hide the physical changes to my body not to mention the lack of facial hair after laser and electrolysis treatments had removed most of the heavy beard shadow that had always been there.   So when I left work on a Friday there were no surprises for anyone when the next Tuesday following a long weekend I walked into work presenting as a woman.    Like you Johnni my wardrobe was a mix of all kinds of clothes that I had randomly purchased over the years.  Very little of it suitable for living full time as a woman.  Prior to my first day of work I  had studied how the women in my office dressed as well as how other women my age presented themselves in public settings.  I realized I would pretty much need a completely new wardrobe for this new life.  Of course, as elsewhere, mostly women in my office dressed in jeans, leggings, capris or other casual clothes.  I think in the first year living as a woman I wore skirts and dresses far less often than I ever had before.  It just wasn't what I observed women wearing.  I must admit that I really relished the few occasions when events presented themselves that required women to dress up.  A conference I attended for work that had a gala dinner at a local museum.  A business trip to the UK where I was told that formal business attire would be expected.  It still amazes me at how little time it took for me to dislike heels after having to wear them every day for eight to ten hours.  At the end of the day I could never wait to finally be able to exchange them for something flat and comfortable. 


I've been told by my wife that I am still a bit heavy on the make up.  Its an insecurity of mine.  Without the make up I tend to still see mostly the old me, the male me, the male face I hated my entire life.  Hopefully in time I will get past that and cut back on the amount of make up I wear daily.  Also, in this past  year and a half, I've had to profusely apologize to my wife for giving her a hard time, in the past, for her taking so long getting ready to go out.  I take much longer now than she ever did getting ready in the morning.  To her its now a great source of amusement.  


That said, I could never imagine going back to my life before.  It literally feels like the days are sunnier, the colors everywhere brighter and I can never recall being this happy in my entire life before.  



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Hello JohnniGyrl:


I was much like you when I thought I was a cross dresser and just got clothes regardless of style and size and loved how to me they looked so cute and pretty and loved how they made me feel like a woman.  Which must be why I never was really a cross dresser cause I always tried to have me be a woman.  But anyways, behind closed doors myself I had the weird clothes that would not be appropriate out in public.


But as I came out and now that I am full time, I did start to get some clothes that I can wear out in public and blend in.  dont know what's it's like where you are at or the weather, but for my age group and I am in my late 30's, I find myself as a trendy casual girl and as such I tend to wear nice skinny jeans and a nice Tee or Cami and pair it with a caritiagan.I wear some comfortable shoes or if I am in the mood and I am tall a 1inch block heel.


If you are also into them, a nice pair of everyday leggings paired with some athletic shoes and a Tee works as well.


I have my own YouTube channel and I made a video on my experience with getting the basic's and something senisable.  Here is the link if you are interested in watching it and maybe it might give you some ideas as well.



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  • Forum Moderator

It seems like a lot of us started the same way. I too have non age appropriate cloths. I have started to amass more casual cloths. I am a jeans and t-shirt girl. I need to start getting slacks and blouses. Of course shoes. Especially if I get the new position I am wanting. It is business casual. It is slowly coming then again so am I.



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Hi all

Though i agree trend is good, i never was good at following or able to afford trend clothes, some of it was over rated anyway.  Plus i don't fully agree with wearing age appropriate clothing.  I think whats more important is dressing in whatever you want and whatever you feel comfortable in, something that definently feels you.. Even if its a mini skirt.. Check in the mirror see what you think...if you likevwhat you see...i'd say go for it...regardless of age...  So long as it"s decent and presentable then go for it..





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  • Forum Moderator
16 minutes ago, MelissaAndProudOfIt said:


Though i agree trend is good, i never was good at following or able to afford trend clothes, some of it was over rated anyway.  Plus i don't fully agree with wearing age appropriate clothing.  I think whats more important is dressing in whatever you want and whatever you feel comfortable in, something that definently feels you.. Even if its a mini skirt.. Check in the mirror see what you think...if you likevwhat you see...i'd say go for it...regardless of age...  So long as it"s decent and presentable then go for it..



I have just seen this. I agree!


Interestingly I was checking through the wardrobe yesterday and came across the mini skirt that I wore on my first totally female outing. Apart from how short it is, I noticed how see though it is ? :D


Maybe that's why I go so much (positive) attention when passing a building site (rather scary at the time).


It is in my album but here it is:



Not obviously see through here but it is very thin. I will relagate it to a beach skirt over bikini bottom? It's too nice to throw out anyway.


Our early experiences :D



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  • Forum Moderator

I have items in my closet I bought like 10 years ago, and all I can say to myself is "what were you thinking back then ?"


Agreed wearing age appropriate clothing and dressing to blend in is the mantra....


Life is better as female, so many choices, so much freedom to express one's self, the possibilities are endless.




Cyndee -

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I personally think age approprate as a term has only been introduced so the consumer market can yet again categorise part of its market.  By following set trends...you are to a point at a disadvantage, as some older stuff is more comfortable and definently more sexy and generally appealing.  Mass market materials mean clothing qualities never been poorer, design leaves a load to be desired..  Gone are the imaginative, creative, quality cut and sew of the 70s and early 80s. Its downhill... Though not all the way to bottom step yet......i yearn for the day we can once again go for a quality shop, maybe Brexit might allow us some passage in that direction, failing that i"ll go night classes learnto sew and design my own itemsand create my own brand..this i would do out of a feeling of pity for the fashion trade....these days in my eyes they really lack creativity, flair and imagination.   Lets bring those times gone back again...i for one might survive pah.lol

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  • Forum Moderator

Learning to sew allows you to repair, alter and make clothing.  I have sewn since I was a teen.  I have a free arm Singer that was bought new in the late 70's.   Its a great skill to have.   

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