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I Think I Finally Saw How Everyone Else Sees Me...


killjoyaiden

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killjoyaiden

The other day, I was laying in my bed just watching Youtube videos.. I looked down at my legs... They seemed about three times smaller than they did before.. It scared me so badly, I started to cry. Is this what others see when they tell me that I need to eat more? When people who haven't seen me in forever ask if I have cancer? But, the weird thing is that later that night, I looked back down and they looked bigger again.. What the hell is happening???????? Why can't I just see what I really look like???

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  • 2 weeks later...
killjoyaiden

I've brought this up to my therapist multiple times, and she always treats it like it's nothing. Everyone around me says that I do things for attention, that I'm a hypochondriac (which I agree with, I get like that sometimes) but this... this is real. It's so real, it scares me. But, nobody listens. Even when I tell them, there's no doubt in my mind that this is real, they still don't treat it seriously... it's so frustrating. I just want out of this eating disorder solitary confinement cell.. but it seems that I'll never get out because nobody thinks it's an eating disorder... except for my old therapist... she seemed to be the only one to understand.

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  • 6 months later...
Damien Mcknight

Hey hey, i know what you’re going through, really. I remember I used to be able to visibly see my rib cage, but denying I was thin. It took a lot of help to pull me out of that (even though I’m falling back into it) and it’s not something people should just brush off. Eating disorders, especially Anorexia, are the most deadly. If someone tells you to eat more, comply to the best your appetite will allow.

 

To healing,

-Alex

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