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By Elizabeth Star · Posted
Good morning everyone. @Hannah Renee Congratulations on the name change. The process in our state is a little weird but at least changing your gender marker is easy peasy. @MmindyI'm sorry to hear about your mishap and thankful you're, more or less, OK. I know I've been pretty quiet here for a while. I've had a LOT of traumas surfacing. Thankfully, my GT actually specializes in trauma and since I'm in a holding pattern with my transition right now we decided to switch gears. I've come to find out that I'm full of automatic trauma responses. Just the simple action of my supervisor calling me into his office fills me with anxiety and triggers a fight or flight response. Just normal, everyday things are setting me off and I can't keep going like this anymore. It's going to be a long and emotionally painful process but it needs to be done. I can't keep running from my problems. -
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By Davie · Posted
Hi @Purple8. Welcome. Yes, I identify with your feelings. I think it is tough to "find" yourself when you identify as somewhere in the middle, such as non-binary. It's a process that for me, took time, and reflection, and writing about it and, yes, talking to a gender therapist, too. You're doing great by finding this TGP site. Keep coming. We're here all night. 💜 -- Davie -
By VickySGV · Posted
You are in a pretty common place with a lot of us here. We are not Gender Counselors, but almost all of us have been through Gender Counseling and found that it really helped us. When we tell the rest of the world that we are not their idea of what we should be and are going to be our own self, it can be a bit rough, but it is freeing. -
By Purple8 · Posted
Hello everyone! I am a 32 year old person who was assigned male at birth. Generally fine with the pronouns he/they. Most of my life I have identified as a cis-man but lately have been really questioning how much that truly describes who I am. Throughout my life I have always had discomfort when I’ve been grouped with guys or asked to do things because I am a “man.” When I was a kid in school and I would be grouped with the boys I would always feel out of place. I used to justify this feeling because I’m gay and most of the boys I knew growing up were straight. Even as an adult now I feel pretty alien generally when I am around a group of typically straight men. As an adult I find myself pretty comfortable presenting pretty “masculinely.” But I still find myself experiencing a lot of friction when people have certain perceptions or expectations of me because of that presentation. And recently I have had interactions with a guy where while we were together he complimented how masculine and manly I was which felt incredibly uncomfortable to me. Which, has now lead me to self reflect and I feel I truly don’t relate to the terms masculine or manly other than my very surface level presentation. I also don’t consider myself really feminine. Though I do feel that with whatever feminine traits or qualities I do have, I really enjoy when those are complimented or affirmed. I definitely don’t identify as a woman, though. A couple weeks ago I finally was just like “maybe I am non-binary” and once I sat with that for a second and I realized I could just remove myself from having to wear the label of “man”, I felt as though a giant weight was being lifted off of me and it felt pretty amazing. So this is still very new for me. I’m still exploring this and have so far enjoyed the journey. Though, I do have a kind of imposter syndrome feeling as I still currently really am fine and enjoy presenting more masculinely (however sometimes with a little queer flair.) Really for me it’s mostly dealing with the general discomfort I feel from people’s expectations of me because they look at me and think “man.” Anybody with similar experiences? -
By VickySGV · Posted
@Carolyn Marie Minor Confession -- I am in it as well. I am in an unusually shy mood at the minute though. I know, I know, not my usual self. -
By Confused1 · Posted
PSA testing? Seriously, I'm happy you got answers. I know you were stressing what you might find. I don't like MRI's either. Mike -
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By Astrid · Posted
Take a look at the many forum topics to see if any are of interest. You'll find recommendations about books on gender identity, too. Best, Astrid -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
That was great, @VickySGV, Thanks so much for sharing it. Your friends are awesome! Carolyn Marie -
By VickySGV · Posted
As overwhelming as it has been for you, I am glad you did it and found out so you can work toward the future of your life. The anomalies make you simply you, but a you who now can be even more yourself. I know that sounds complicated, but it is a happy thing. -
By VickySGV · Posted
https://youtu.be/QPHj8IdyRX4 They got a bunch of my friends in it. Enjoy. -
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By Roach · Posted
@DonkeySocks I can understand the anxiety around extended family. I don't see most of the people in my family very often, so I struggle to think of what is appropriate to tell them. Great to hear this! -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
What a week. I've been to appointment after appointment, and scared half to death. It started out as a routine exam with an ObGyn in a larger city who was advertised as being LGBTQ+ friendly. Thankfully, she was. During my physical exam she did a lot of looking at me, and feeling around. I hate that part. But she found something previous doctors had missed. A couple of somethings, and she was pretty concerned and sent me off to get blood tests, and an MRI the following day. Couldn't get one the same day, so we ended up having to overnight in a hotel. I don't do well with stress, and I was worried sick. The next day - MRI. My husband has thankfully had one before, and he knew I would be freaking out. He was allowed in with me, and even with him calming me down I had to be somewhat sedated to get through it. Tight spaces and loud noises are not my thing. After that, waiting for the doctor to look at the results. More worry. I'm not only intersex, I'm a medical mystery. My genes are normal - just like any cis female. My anatomy is unique, but the weirdness is mostly internal. Among more minor oddities is a fully-formed PROSTATE. Dear God. I don't get how I could have been born like that! It was a first for the doctor also. It took a while for her to analyze the images and get the test results. She was initially concerned that I had some kind of cancer, and that really made the whole experience worse for me. At the moment, her thought is that any surgical transition attempt would be ill-advised. Thankfully, I wasn't interested in pursuing that. I'll probably have to watch things more carefully than the average human, but other than that I can just leave it alone since things function well enough. I guess most rural doctors aren't even looking for something like this? And now I wonder what this means for the rest of my life... 😢
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