Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Vibrators


Lucca

Recommended Posts

Time for some TMI! I've been on hormones for awhile, and I'm now at the point where my penis is pretty feminized, no longer having spontaneous erections, not getting very hard, and having trouble feeling pleasure from stroking. I'd like to try to maintain some erectile function for penetration in the future, and I've read that you need to "exercise" the penis on a regular basis to be able to still get erections. Since stroking isn't really doing it anymore, I want to try a vibrator. Does anyone have experience with vibrators for feminized penises? Is there a particular one that's good for our needs? I thought I might get this one:

 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01DCHMIF2/ref=ox_sc_act_image_1?smid=AOSZMT5RQVVJA&psc=1

Link to comment

For me when I was in this situation I found nothing really "did it" for me.  The HRT killed my drive and I was glad for it.  I felt a calm I had never felt before and preferred it to "the drive".   I can safely say my libido was non existent.  I basically did not care to get it hard or simulated in any way and was glad to have it small and not doing any "man things" anymore.  

Not saying I was ready to not have sex anymore, by no means, I was just not interested in the male version of it any longer.

So sorry I am no help with this.  

Since I have been off HRT for about a month I am finding things are "waking up" on a daily basis.  Which is not what I am wanting at all.

Id be lying if I say I have not taken advantage of the change with my wife but I was happy with it being "the other way" while on HRT.

Link to comment

Don't get me wrong, I like that it's smaller, doesn't get as hard, does not go erect on its own, and that I have a more female sex drive. I just want to maintain some amount of erectile function. Plus, you know, just have an easier way to "have fun" than getting a cramp from my arm having to work so much more.

Link to comment

Oh I understand that.  I don't think its a lost cause.  Don't get me wrong.  You may find something to assist in what you are looking for.  I just don't have any good suggestions. 

 

I am sure I could get and maintain something "usable" for the deed.  I was always surprised at the lack of wanting to is what struck me as weird while I was on HRT.  I always had a very health sex drive.  VERY healthy.  To not feel that male aspect anymore was weird but wonderful to me.  Like I was shedding something I loved that I realized I did not want.  

Yes I am weird.

 

Link to comment
47 minutes ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Oh I understand that.  I don't think its a lost cause.  Don't get me wrong.  You may find something to assist in what you are looking for.  I just don't have any good suggestions. 

 

I am sure I could get and maintain something "usable" for the deed.  I was always surprised at the lack of wanting to is what struck me as weird while I was on HRT.  I always had a very health sex drive.  VERY healthy.  To not feel that male aspect anymore was weird but wonderful to me.  Like I was shedding something I loved that I realized I did not want.  

Yes I am weird.

 

No you're not weird. Or else we're weird in the same way. Long before my full understanding of what I am, my penis had shrunk considerably, erections vanished, sex drive plummeted. What sex drive I do retain is after anything but penetrating someone, just to be loved, caressed and held.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I think I'm in about the same boat you are. The thing is, everything works if I take the time to, um, warm up the engine. It's mostly a mental game. I pick a fantasy out of my exhaustive library (I have a vivid and probably weird imagination) and immerse myself in it. Usually, but not always while in the shower. It takes a little longer, but the mental game is the main event. I basically stimulate myself while living in my head space and things just happen. They happen a little differently, but they happen.

 

It's the same with a partner. We warm each other up, add some physical stimulation to the appropriate areas when our partner is ready, then climax. Again, takes longer than it did when I had Testosterone in my system, at least a half hour, but it's happy work.

 

I can't comment on the vibrator though. I'm holding off until after my bottom surgery. Assuming all goes according to plan, the ribbon comes off on National Star Wars day so I might get something light-saber themed.

 

I wouldn't worry though. It's basically like puberty all over again, except now your new toy needs to be stimulated a little differently. Play with it a bit and I'm sure you'll figure it out. Billions of women have... um... come before you. You'll get what works for you.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

I got the vibrator I linked, and it certainly does what I want it to. I think it's technically for non-erotic massage use, but if you read the reviews, over half the reviewers are clearly not using it that way.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Ha! I hadn't noticed that. Yeah, totally marketed towards neck and back pain. I hadn't paid attention to the reviews either. Wow.

 

I'm still holding out for Darth Vader. It's a little expensive but I kind of want to give the Dark Side a bit of a whirl. Yes, I know I'm a huge geek.

 

Good vibrations!

 

Hugs!                                        

Link to comment

One of those dildo-style vibrators made for penetration wouldn't work as well for me, obvs, which is why I went with this one, which I saw on some kind of trans-specific vibrator list somewhere. The head is very large and flat.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Yeah, I know those. Designed more for clitoral/labia stimulation rather than penetration or delivering vibration to the g-spot. I did my research. My wife has never, ever used a toy in the bedroom so she was kind of hopeless as a source of information.

 

Good to know it's working for you though!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • 6 months later...

I can't remember how long I was on HRT but like so many people my libido crashed.  It felt perfectly normal to have no interest and I even found ways to avoid getting sexual.  Sure hugs and so on were nice but in a marriage I guess its pretty obvious that going through all these changes plus that felt like rejection to my significant other.  So I brought it up to my endo and she mentioned that my testosterone levels were low.  Which meant nothing to me because I thought that was the goal.  It was many months of frustraiting problems and it finially dawned on me after looking at a computer medical chart of my labs over time that what my endo was saying is "your testosterone levels are low for normal female range."  So I went in and asked how we could try to do something about it because I have already had Orchiectomy so I wasn't making nearly enough from my adrenal glands.  And I was told few mtf women do. So I started adding a small amount of a gel and wow... Sex started being something on my mind. Like a lot. I want to tell everyone about it but its TMI and I'm starting to feel like the "sex maniac" which I really don't want to do.  Oh! And btw it also restored a lot of lost energy. My doctor had me on Adderall to keep from falling asleep all the time.  And please understand. This is not enough testosterone to goof up transition.  If its under 100 ng/dL from your labs your ok. 

 

Sex is one of the best aspects of transition.  And having a sex life with your partner again removes a lot of fears that your not into her/him or that your suddenly not interested because HRT is making you interested in men (Assuming you weren't before) or whatever. That alone is something I think we owe giving some thought to since it sounds like most of you are still with your spouses. Then TMI ALERT there is the actual sex stuff. If you still have "it" you don't need to worry about erections because thats why God invented strapons.  And if your the type that doesn't want to do PIV sex its a great solution.  My dysphoria over using "it" for PIV sex is so bad I can't climax that way. I just don't want any boy parts in the equation. And strapon sex means you can have some variety and the equipment never fails at the worst time. And maybe I'm weird but I find it very exciting.  I'm a bit repressed so it seems way out wild to me.

 

Reaching climax is different. Its not quite as easy and it does take more time and effort. Without sounding too much like a perv watching some adult videos of women masturbating was educational and something I would suggest you try.  Circular motion with lots of lube when there is no erection is how I figured things out.  Now that I've regained a libido and it appears my sexual wiring is firming up female for the first time I understand "There!  Don't stop what your doing" or "Shut up!" when your getting close. Also I for the first time I believe the statement "I didn't orgasm but it was still pretty good."  It is!  But when you do climax? OMG.... However you rated male orgasm this is 100x better.  No kidding.  Its not just a short focused bit of euphoria its your whole body zinging in climax and if the stimulation continues they can last a very long time. And while I've not explored it yes (Because of course this never works for men) you can start again and have more then one without the annoying refactory period.  And while I'm trying to get my new wiring figured out my SO is always having an orgasm and even two regularly while I'm working up to the first. If THAT doesn't improve your relationship issues?

 

Vibrators are a topic we've studied in some detail. There is a ton of junk ones that are not strong enough and others clearly invented by men who don't understand things. The best advice you will ever get is to buy a Hitachi Magic Wand Vibe. They sell these things in drug stores as "back massagers" but I suspect its 10,000:1 being used sexually versus sore back muscles. Its amazing...  And get the kind with a cord. Battery vibes always run down when you really really need them to keep going.  My one word of advice is to get an extension cord because they always come with one that pulls out of the socket right when your there.

 

Sorry about the long message - I hope that you with low to no libido will give it a try. I think you will find it amazing for both of you.

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...

I like my rabbit vibrator. It's really important, when you don't have a vagina, that you choose a design with something to stop it going right in. Anyone with nurse friends will probably know what I mean!

 

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 119 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • Mmindy
    • EasyE
    • Lorelei
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,945
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      My mother's maiden name is Schwinegruber, and to say that cabbage in all forms of use for our dinner table is an understatement.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Davie
    • EasyE
      So, I jumped on the "E" train last week and am about 10 days into my HRT journey. I have the tiniest patch available. I laughed when I opened it. "This little thing is supposed to give me more feminine characteristics?"   I haven't really felt much of anything so far, not that I expected to at this point. I am really, really tired but that may be other factors (like staying up too late to watch NCAA basketball every night). The one noticeable difference is that my libido seems to be a lot more subdued. Not that I am proud of this, but the big M was a practically a daily part of life for me. My daily comfort and way to get an endorphin hit or just deal with loneliness. The past week, though, has been, "meh." Is that the HRT tamping things down? Or just a normal down cycle for me? Not sure yet. Time will tell.   I have been very quiet about things overall. Only a few people know. No one in my immediate family. I fear the backlash I will get when they find out. Worst- case scenario, my daughters stop talking to me. That would kill me. I hope I can show them over time, "See, I am still me."   Met with my endo on Wednesday. He is good for me to up the dose when I feel comfortable. For now, I think I am going to stand pat and take things nice and slow. Of course, I could see myself tomorrow asking him to send in the script for the higher dose...   I keep asking myself, what is the end game with all of this. Unlike many on here, I don't have a concrete answer yet. I am not convinced I will "go all the way" and change my name and ID, etc. Part of me would love to soldier on just as I am but with a lot more feminine physical characteristics and a more distinctly feminine wardrobe. What does that make me? Non-binary? Not sure.  Again, I am just me, as unorthodox as that is...   All I know is that this is something I want to do. I am comfortable walking this path for now. Again, we'll see. As always, would appreciate any feedback the more experienced folks may have. Blessings to all!    EasyE
    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...