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Faye1972

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10 hours left in another day.

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Time lags when nothing brings joy.

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Live for today tomorrow is uncertain 

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Ah yes another 24 hour period.

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Today is just another 24 hours.

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Dragging others down is a drag.

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Negative is hard to reverse now.

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Hearing dead name pierces my heart.

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Birthday didn't bring any internal relief.

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Living between two worlds isn't living.

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The calling that resonates the soul.

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Languishing in a sea of pain.

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24 minutes ago, Heather Shay said:

Languishing in a sea of pain.

Sending love. Sending hope. Sending strength.

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Not sure why I even bother.

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It's going to be HOT today.

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Fingernail polish matches my panties perfectly. 😊

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Passing day looking forward to walk.

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Walks only thing looking forward to.

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12 hours ago, April Marie said:

Fingernail polish matches my panties perfectly. 😊

This one made me laugh, smile

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Still lingering in the in-between worlds.

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    • missyjo
      they're very cute but if I find them with my lace panties or costly bras ill...speak harshly to them for 2 days   hugs
    • susannah
      Several years ago, I stated here that I will not start estradiol even though I was pushing boundaries toward HRT.  I started to take spironolactone but had to stop.  Also, I have been on finasteride for a few years now.  I finally broke down and started estradiol last year.  After 3 months, my body started to show small feminization.  I developed breast buds that were about the size of quarter on both sides.  Even though these changes were quite desirable, I decided to stop HRT.  I was terrified of the consequences of transitioning.     After 3 months, I started hrt again but stopped after 2 months.  I restarted again but stopped yet again after 3 months.  My body changes seem to happen faster each subsequent time.     I am so conflicted right now.  I would love to be on estradiol yet I am afraid to do so.  It has been 5 months since my last estradiol tablet.  My desire to restart hrt is getting stronger.  When I started estradiol, it feels like I let the genie out of the bottle.  I did not know what I was missing.     Has anyone else had similar experience?  Honestly, I do not know where to go from here.     Susannah
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I finally did something today that I've wanted to do for a long time, but haven't had the courage to try.  I got my nipples pierced!  Also got hip dermals and belly button done.  I held off for years for multiple reasons, not the least of which lately was the uncertainty of how it will affect how I pass.  Don't see a lot of boys with those kinds of piercings.  But I figure I'm androgynous so I can pull off the look well enough.  And also, our faith community isn't exactly in favor of tattoos and piercings.    One of my partners did the job - she's pretty good at it.  She's done VCH piercings for my female partners (kind of a wedding tradition here.)  I was a bit nervous, but it wasn't bad.  And my husband said I look cute, so that's eased my mind a bit too. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I think there's a difference between banning a book and saying it isn't suitable for academic purposes.  Students can read whatever they want from the library on their own time.  And if they end up doing a book project they can probably pick something to use that isn't on the list of things teachers can use in classes.  I suspect that the removal of some of these books is due to sex scenes inside.  Toni Morrison's stuff, for example.  I read both Beloved and Song of Solomon when I was in high school.  I didn't find the sex parts of books to be particularly lurid, but I definitely found Beloved to be demonic and disturbing.  I'm glad that book isn't approved for use in our county's high school.  And its not like the schools are against multicultural literature.  For example, Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart is read by just about everybody (although my husband says that you have to reread the book as an adult to really get the benefit of it.)    I think we have to look at why we have an English or literature class.  Why are some books useful and others not?  For example, Shakespeare's plays and poems have historical and literary value.  Teachers spend time on those, but probably not Tom Clancy or Nicholas Sparks novels.  Teachers want students to experience literary styles, cultures, and teach about the structure of writing.  Selecting what is useful is a subjective judgement, of course.  The thought that Beloved or Song of Solomon doesn't make the grade doesn't seem odd to me at all. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Yeah, we find messes like that too sometimes.   Multiple house cats.  They are quiet at 3am, but 11pm is the hour where they all go nuts.  We call it the "hour of scampering."  One of them actually runs into walls, and I've found them wearing dirty laundry.  Ever seen a cat turn a pair of panties into a shirt? 
    • Nicoleeolee
      3:30 in the morning is basically when my cat goes on crack for a while…. I actually believe she’s chasing ghost away because there’s no other reason for her to reach running through the entire house and tearing up everything…… I know this is about what we’re wearing but my cat was wearing this when I woke up this morning
    • Ivy
      When a book is banned, it does make one curious about it. And being banned by the right wing is kind of an endorsement.
    • Ivy
      sometimes that's all that saves their lives. I mean… dragging me out of bed at 03:30 and expecting me to feed you… now?  
    • VickySGV
      I would have suggested but not demanded that you go to your nearest hospital or just to the a local clinic or even police station but I would have listened as well for what it took.  It is no shame to get medical attention, nor is it a shameful thing to get into a care situation.  Here where I live our sheriff will send out a counseling team to see how serious your situation really is, again, no shame attached.  It sounds to me that the police who came to you did the same thing there. We do have the related Discord Site Chat Site for help if you just need to chat a depression off, it is a bit funky, but when you are feeling OK, fire it up for the down times.   https://www.transgenderpulse.com/chat/   I have Cyclic Major Depressive Syndrome myself which comes and goes.  I do have IRL human sources through a couple of LGBTQ Centers around me.  Again, I set up the system in my good moments and found out they were fine for those times too.    I do not know who you called but if it is one of the numbers on on our site here, please let one of us on the Admin staff know by PM which it was. 
    • LaurenA
      The cops were here.  I was able to talk them off without getting arrested.  Every time this happens I swear I'll never do this again.
    • KymmieL
      Wow, That is BS. You call for help. Then they don't want to give any. that is sure nice. Lauren is there anyone else you can call. We are here if you need help. Just talk to us. We don't judge. Only thing we would tell you to check in to is a resort to pamper yourself.   Take care, Kymmie
    • LaurenA
      I was depressed and called a hotline.  All they want me to do is check myself in.  I hung up on them and expect the police to show up at any moment.
    • Davie
      Reading is resistance’: students and parents take on DeSantis’s book bans. Florida governor’s constant attacks on the education system have led to an increasing backlash from a wide range of people. Upon learning that her AP English teacher might not be able to use Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison in the syllabus this year, Mogul came up with an idea to start a book club. Her aptly named Banned Books Club was established last month, featuring titles that have been removed from public school circulations in Florida, and meets at a celebrated Miami bookstore called Books & Books. A range of people of different ages and backgrounds, including a handful of Mogul’s peers, an audio producer and an English teacher attend. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/sep/23/florida-desantis-book-ban-school-student-parent
    • Nicoleeolee
      You’re so sweet…. thank you so much…. I appreciate the encouragement. I have worked very, very hard. It’s an interesting life having a cat as a roommate, right. I mean overall they’re terrible terrible roommates. You have to clean up after them constantly.. They never chip in for dinner? They won’t go get a job. …😂.   Luckily, they’re really cute and furry.
    • Willow
      Hi, where did the week go?  So, last Sunday I gave a sermon for our on-line church.  Wednesday, I worked 6 to 2.  When I got home I sat for a little while then I proceeded to make two loaves of bread for a church bake sale.  Friday, I worked at our church’s annual yard sale as a cashier.  And today I opened our store, 4:15 to 12:15.  Yes, I was tired.  I’m not used to getting up that early.  I had a short nap this afternoon.  We are going to a local pub for dinner then I’ll watch the Buckeyes vs Notre Dame football game.  I’m a bit of a channel surfer so I don’t know that I’ll watch it from beginning to end.  It depends on what else is on, but I will keep track of the game.     Next week at work we will be doing a whole lot of changes.  Making certain everything in the store shelves is correctly located per marketing guidelines.  Then overnight Tuesday we will pull off all of the shelf tags and put up all new ones.  The entire store in one overnight.  That should be interesting.  I think that is supposed to be the first step in a total makeover.  Well, maybe step two if you count going to overnight unattended fueling as a part of it.  Eventually, we are supposed to get all new drink machines, move the candy aisle, add additional store shelves and much more.  This fall should be interesting.   We had tropical storm Ophelia make a backside visit here last night.  Rain and wind.   Willow
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