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By Susan R · Posted
Hello @IseulK, This statement is a bit of a concern. I can certainly understand how important getting the surgery is to your wellbeing. But it in itself shouldn’t be the glue that is holding you all together. Life has a way of introducing mayhem when we least expect. You need a way to be able to cope with these difficulties without the prospect of losing all the gains you previously made. You mentioned having been in recovery for these eating disorders. Have you by chance seen a therapist specializing in eating disorders, gender issues or perhaps both? If not, you might look into this as an option. I do hope you are able to get this upcoming surgery completed and these potential issues will not impact your life. I would just try to be as prepared as you can if things don’t go quite as you had hoped and planned. I wish you the best. Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷 -
By IseulK · Posted
Good evening everyone, I am in a bit of a spot. I had engaged with bulimia and later anorexia over a year ago, very deeply. As I became more underweight, my gender dysphoria eased up some. Not like I could enjoy it of course. I was very excited when my family scheduled a date for top surgery. However, my family has since then discovered my eating disorder. I have been in recovery for two months and am now a healthy weight. My thoughts around food and my body have significantly improved but my mom is still concerned about the surgery. I still want to lose weight, but the surgery is more important to me. I can't explain that to her. I can't explain gender dysphoria. She says that I just need to learn to love myself. As I am. As you all know, for some trans folks, that just isn't quite possible. If the surgery is cancelled, I know I'll relapse. There would be no other way I could cope. I have already tasted what it's like to have body that fits. I can't explain all that. I can, however, try to explain the benefits of a surgery. Have any of you had any experiences regarding surgery and eating disorders? Any comments would be most helpful. Thank you! -
By Susan R · Posted
Welcome @Harlyqynn. It’s nice to have you with us. Most of us here have asked ourselves one or more of these questions of identity and/or sexual orientation since puberty and even earlier. It can take years to finally trust your own diagnosis enough to actively do anything about it. This describes me all too well. I had two labels to work with (TS or TV) early in my youth (35 years ago). There just weren’t many back then so the labels didn’t do well to describe those within our community at all. Even though labels have changed and many have been added over the years...it takes time to process and understand just who we are as individuals. Labels aren’t as important to me as they once were but it does give me a sense that there are others out there like myself and that’s comforting. It may even help us to accept ourselves knowing that our identity is real and valid. If you were like me growing up, you may have thought you were alone in your identity especially without that label describing youself. Understanding that this isn’t the case any longer, helps us bridge that gap between knowing we are different from most but similar to some others out there. You’ve come to a safe place to talk and share with others about these kind of topics and many of your upcoming adventures. I hope to read more about what you and your journey as you march forward on your path. I wish you the very best. Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷 -
By HollyNoel · Posted
Thank you @Shay and @Willow Farmer. I've been looking at groupons for electrologists, nothing even close. So Chicago it is. lol Oh well! It's been a while since I've been to Chicago. I want ti get my face cleared, I hate shaving. -
By Red_Lauren. · Posted
Me too. Even though I can't make them look super girly now. Hopefully by the Christmas holidays I will be able to. I was planning on transitioning about this time next year, but that was also because I didn't plan on going to nail school till at least the fall this year, or March next year. That has been bumped up. As ill be done with school by the end of November. If I finish school on time, and everything works out right. I'll be celebrating with my friends. I was going to do it in July for my birthday, but my birthday is in the middle of the week, and it feels weird celebrating a birthday days before or after, and December will have more meaning for many reasons. Hopefully I'll be doing nails for a living, I'll be living full time by then, and In December marks one year of hormones. So many more reasons to celebrate. -
By Confused1 · Posted
Sorry Willow, It was all over the place for me for awhile as well. Praying it improves! Hugs, Mike -
By Confused1 · Posted
Have not experienced HRT, but I am on ADT for prostate cancer. I have heard many prostate cancer survivors complain about it, but when the T was gone, I realized I never want it flowing in my veins again! Looking forward to having E in a few months! I am feminizing without added estrogen and will be getting surgery in a little over a month. Mike -
By Astrid · Posted
That would of course be a positive step. Is it also a possibility to locate an experienced gender therapist (for example, before, during, after, or in place of your family counseling sessions)? My spouse and I made it a point to jointly attend sessions with our gender therapist, and it was very helpful for both of us to learn from her long experience of working with couples working through gender issues. It wasn't just about my spouse becoming better informed from an expert about gender concepts -- it also allowed me to better understand the dynamics of what my cisgender spouse was/is dealing with. Family counselors often don't have direct experience with gender issues, which is why I'm mentioning this. Astrid -
By Astrid · Posted
Well said, @ValerieRun I remember having the exact same thoughts after getting underway with HRT. Now I'm in my 16th month and still feel it's absolutely the right decision. There's no way I would want to go back to how I felt before (there's nothing fun about being depressed and angry). Astrid -
By KymmieL · Posted
Well had a knock down drag out again. With my son. My wife finally talked to someone a little more liberal than her Christian friend. Still had a go. I actually left work. The wife is talking family counseling. I am all for it. And told her so. I am back at work now. Doing as well as can be expected. I will post some more later. Kymmie -
By ElizabethStar · Posted
if it's any consultation my wife has forbidden me to change in front her. I have a feeling she will never bend on that. -
By ValerieRun · Posted
A few weeks into HRT and I just knew what I experienced and felt was a much MUCH better outcome than alternative. There is absolutely no way I would want or even consider going back of my own free will. Whatever future holds it will be another journey forward 🙂 -
By AwesomeClaire · Posted
Although I have an MSW and was once an LGSW on track for LICSW, I abandoned that path. I still work at the same agency, just in a different role. I was placed at a community mental health clinic for my internship and they hired me after. -
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By Willow · Posted
@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83 Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday. I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too. Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction. Then this weekend hit. First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her. Then Saturday more SHTF. I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that! I can’t look at you anymore. And more. This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church. We talked a lot on Sunday and today. Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time. Depression. Crying, fighting... the whole gambit. She did apologize. I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode. She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time. very difficult time. Willow
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