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How Do I Tell My Parents About Me?

Guest Emmy

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Hi i'm new here and i have a question. I want to tell my parents i'm a transsexual but the're both very strict and i do'nt think they will take it very well. What can i do?

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Guest Kimberley Jackson

hey emmy, if they are very strict and its hard to tell them you could always do it in stages...if you wear your mums shoes/ clothes you could always put them back in a diffrent place to where you took them from and eventually your parents might think that it is you and the shock when you do tell them eventually will not be as bad all the best kimberley xx

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Hi i'm new here and i have a question. I want to tell my parents i'm a transsexual but the're both very strict and i do'nt think they will take it very well. What can i do?

Hi Emmy,

It is always difficult to find a starting point for a conversation like this. Especially at your age.

Is it coming just out of the blue for your parents or where there any signs in the past, things they try to ignore. Or did they try to direct you in the “good” direction, like boys don’t do this and boys don’t do that.

Do not start telling them that you are transsexual because at your age there are a lot of things possible. But most probably your feelings are Gender perception related.

Possibility 1

Start with your mother first, at the end of the day mothers (almost) never let their child down.

Ask here if she ever had found something “not so normal boy’s” about you. And that you do have the feeling that there is something strange with you and that you like to see a doctor.

And ask the doctor to find you a Qualified Gender Therapist.

It will not be easy for you, but also not for your parents.

Possibility 2

Do you have a sister or brother? Try to find support from brothers and sisters and finally, with their help, from your parents.

Speaking about my self at that age, I left the home at the age of 15. That was a very difficult way making a living for my self at that age and also dealing with the Gender dysphoria issues. Don’t do it that way.

2 or 3 years ago there was an Oprah Winfrey show about this, can you get hold of that show?

I do have it on my PC but is a very large file 60 Mbyte and how can I get it to you?

Do you want it? Or is there any body who know how to do this or can I upload it to this site?

All the best


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Thanks for the information. Sorry it took so long to reply i had something come up. I Have another question. Before one of my sisters left the house i was able to secretly take some of her clothes. Can i use this to help me?

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Guest Shanetastic

Hey Emmy,

I'm not sure if this will work for you, but I told my parents through a note I wrote to them. Only my mom knew at first because I thought her to be the more sympathetic understanding type of person, then later my dad came to find out. I don't know how your parents are but mine took it rather easily and very well, although they did and still are going through that blaming themselves process. I guess you just can't pursuade them about everything eh.

Good luck on trying to tell them. Try to break them in slowly and don't overwhelm them with more than they can understand and attempt to accept for the time being. If you can get on your sisters side you can try that as well first, then she can help you find something out. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

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Sorry about the double reply i dont know what im doing. sorry

Hi Emmy,

If the picture is really you, your parent can not be supriced at all. What I see from the picture is a pretty girl.

Probably best to use your sisters clothes to talk to here first. She probably missed them. But most likely not. I also borrowed (steeling) clothes and things from my sister. A year ago (50 years after i did that) I asked here, have you ever missed this and that (also new things with the price tag still on it) and she never missed it.

Talk to your sister, take the things with you and explain what your deep inner feelings (more knowings) are. She is a girl from this time and will be open to this I guess. You can start talking with here about your secret and after here (positive) reaction asl for help. She can pave the way for you.

She can start a talk with your mam like "I saw on tv a programme about...." That will give a reaction.

Then she can state that it is something kids are born with and what when it happens to one of your own childs?

And so on.

I keep my fingers crossed for you.

If they start waving with the bible, remember there is not one single word in the bible that mention transsexuality or gender dysorder. But there are dozens of other things not mentioned in the bible that were figured out by science now days and that your parents take for granted

If they mention that stupid phrase that man / boys should not wear woman clothes. Mention that that is not the case, you are after all a girl. The sooner they start helping you with the right treatment the better your chances are to live a normal life as girl and later as woman, and getting a normal family life.

In Holland we have a lot of experience with the guidance of young persons with gender identity problems.

All the best



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  • 2 months later...
Guest kunoichigoddess

well heres how it went for me and i suppose it couldve been much worse, first thing you should know is to hope for the best but to expect the worst that way your ready for it if somethign bad happens and if they perfectly fine with it YAY^^ i hope they are for you

for my mom when i told her it was one of those bad days i have now and then where im just not so confident or im debating the success or something is detering me from my femininity, anyways, i think this would work better because your parents can see exactly what your going through the pain and suffering youve gone through, when i told my mom i was crying and i ended up telling her then and she's been nicer to me about even though i think she's trying to make me build muscle to feel ugly about being a girl>.> i doubt your parents will do so though

so recquirments for this method

1) emotionally unstable and crying helps a lot

as for my dad seeing as men arent generally as... emotionally subdued, i told him the next day because he was talking about how his girlfreind got a boob job but it was ok because it was for herself and not to impress guys, so that lulled me into telling him and he flipped so i had a counter stance against him, with your father you'll prolly be more arguementative just defend your stance and keep telling him who you are until he knows your honest 100% cause he doesnt want to beleive you


1) bring it up during a conversation where if he calls you a liar you have the "you pervert hippocrit counter" cause that will make him see that in order for him to be congruent with his personality he has to accept you too

2)dont ever let down you have to keep telling him your a woman until it gets through his head and he know this one takes a while i'm still arguing with my dad that im a girl (this needs to be done with both mom and dad)

he says i have a male anatomy that means im a guy what he doesnt think is there are 4 sides to a person emotional spiritual mental and physical bring that up and tell him that means your 3/4 girl =P

also as another arguement ask him if breasts or a girl thing make a woman, my general experience with this question has been a reply of "no but a boy thing makes you a man" then bring up the question what about hermaphrodites and ppl who's genetaila have been removed for some reason

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