Anyone have experience with Kaiser Mid Atlantic for transitioning?

[Bri2020]

I just came to terms with my awareness of being trans and accepting that I want to move forward living my full true life.  I have Kaiser and I hear they offer great coverage out west but can't find anything here in the Mid atlantic area about what they cover and if they are any good.  I had a "assessment" with a gender specialist LCSW but he didn't commit to moving anything forward or making referrals until he knows me better but the soonest I can actually get another appointment is 9 weeks!!!  I'm still totally in the closet and was hoping to get help about how to broach this with my wife and kids but 9 weeks !!!!  Does anyone have any experience working with Bernard Mungin LCSW?  or anyone else there?

[Jackie C.]

I know it feels like forever (especially in the beginning), but nine weeks isn't that bad. This isn't a quick process. your therapist is right about getting to know you too. They want to know who you are and make sure you're making the right decision for you before they commit. The "cooling off" period is meant to keep us from doing anything too drastic on the spur of the moment. I was with my therapist four months before I got approval to get evaluated (which required a second opinion from another therapist) for HRT and that was without the pandemic.

 

My advice to you is to take a deep breath, try to relax and enjoy the ride. Your personal roller coaster is still climbing that first hill. You'll get to the top.

 

Hugs!

[Bri2020]

47 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

I know it feels like forever (especially in the beginning), but nine weeks isn't that bad. This isn't a quick process. 

 

My advice to you is to take a deep breath, try to relax and enjoy the ride. Your personal roller coaster is still climbing that first hill. You'll get to the top.

 

Hugs!

Thanks so much for the helpful words Jackie!  I know this in my mind and all but once I realized what was really going on my dysphoria hit new heights.  Plus, I feel like having lied to myself all these years but knowing now, keeping it from my wife is just wrong. I'm not good a keeping things from people so I was hoping to get quicker support from my therapists for that.  Sure- I want HRT now but as long as I am progressing in other areas I can be patient.  I'm worried once I tell my wife (and no way I can keep this inside for 9 weeks) that it could take her weeks to talk with a professional too and that seems cruel. :,(

 

 

[Jackie C.]

I have so been there. In the beginning especially. You figured out this amazing thing! It's shiny! You want to act on it and tell everybody! Except there can be repercussions so you need a plan.

 

I lasted about three weeks between, "I'm starting therapy." To, "Guess what my love? You married a woman!" Pro Tip: When coming out, don't start with a joke. That went over like a dead duck. THUD!

I also discounted the advice of my therapist to, "Go slow. Start with crossdressing. Say that you like to present as a woman, but it's completely sexual." I was already all bunched up about keeping it from my wife, so I just sat down with her and explained everything. The couple of centuries she mulled it over was excruciating. Fortunately though, at the end she nodded and said, "I'm OK with it. Besides, I like boobs."

 

I did not have an exit strategy. I was fortunate that my wife was receptive to the idea with a couple of conditions, but had my confession gone sideways my life would be very, very different right now. I realize that I should have had a Plan B in place just in case she wasn't OK with it. After all, like my therapist keeps trying to hammer into my skull, "This wasn't what she signed up for."

 

Progress is important. I think it keeps us grounded in a way. So long as we're moving towards out goal, we can put up with a lot. Roadblocks and delays are hard. You are making progress though. Every day is a step closer to your next therapy appointment. Each appointment is a step closer to your therapist recommending a course of treatment. Make sure to share your goals when you're talking to your doctor though. They don't know if you don't tell them. I had to say, "I would like to be on hormones, how can we make that happen?" to get the gears moving.

 

Hugs!

[Phoenix]

On 7/17/2020 at 11:52 AM, Jackie C. said:

I have so been there. In the beginning especially. You figured out this amazing thing! It's shiny! You want to act on it and tell everybody! Except there can be repercussions so you need a plan.

 

I lasted about three weeks between, "I'm starting therapy." To, "Guess what my love? You married a woman!" Pro Tip: When coming out, don't start with a joke. That went over like a dead duck. THUD!

I also discounted the advice of my therapist to, "Go slow. Start with crossdressing. Say that you like to present as a woman, but it's completely sexual." I was already all bunched up about keeping it from my wife, so I just sat down with her and explained everything. The couple of centuries she mulled it over was excruciating. Fortunately though, at the end she nodded and said, "I'm OK with it. Besides, I like boobs."

 

I did not have an exit strategy. I was fortunate that my wife was receptive to the idea with a couple of conditions, but had my confession gone sideways my life would be very, very different right now. I realize that I should have had a Plan B in place just in case she wasn't OK with it. After all, like my therapist keeps trying to hammer into my skull, "This wasn't what she signed up for."

 

Progress is important. I think it keeps us grounded in a way. So long as we're moving towards out goal, we can put up with a lot. Roadblocks and delays are hard. You are making progress though. Every day is a step closer to your next therapy appointment. Each appointment is a step closer to your therapist recommending a course of treatment. Make sure to share your goals when you're talking to your doctor though. They don't know if you don't tell them. I had to say, "I would like to be on hormones, how can we make that happen?" to get the gears moving.

 

Hugs!

Wow. Your wife’s reaction is so beautiful. I too was in the “rip the band-aid off all at once” camp.

 

I don’t have a significant other, but the reaction I was most… concerned/emotional about was that of my stepmom — the only member of my family I still talk to.

 

Her reaction was also beautiful. It was such a surprise that I don’t remember all that was said except the last line “I can’t wait to meet (my new name).”

 

I was in stunned tears. ?

[Jackie C.]

I feel that. The positive reactions you weren't expecting... they're amazing.

 

Hugs!