Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming out Journey


Robin.C

Recommended Posts

I have someone that has done it walking me through it.

You can get the forms online. 

I don't know if she was trying to mess with me (I doubt it) or just unfamiliar with the process.  I doubt that many do it in this county.

Link to comment
  • Replies 103
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Robin.C

    40

  • Ivy

    11

  • Charlize

    10

  • Jani

    8

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Forum Moderator

@Robin.C and @Jandi, I feel for you both. It’s so frustrating when something that could’ve been made to be such a simple process has been poorly thought out, designed and implemented.

 

Six weeks ago, I had my purse stolen and a lot of other important things (long story). Everything (CC’s, Gift Cards, DL, Misc ID’s, Car Key Fob, etc..) was replaced within a week with the exception of my Federal Passport Card (not my PP book). I won’t get into the gory details of replacement here but let me tell you that the online replacement process and wait times are abysmal at best. I ended up have to pay the full amount for the card replacement and a $35 processing fee to boot. To make matters worse, it took me 2 days to get an Passport processing appointment scheduled over the phone which ended up being over a month out.

 

I just recently had that appointment and everything was finally processed, paid and sent to the US State Dept. Now, I only need to wait another 11 weeks for them to return my original passport book with my passport card replacement and I’ll be made whole again.

 

You’d think in this day and age, a simple PP Card ‘replacement’ could be completed in at most a few weeks. Not a chance!

Link to comment

So as i try and type this, pussycat has decided i am warm and soft to sit on. Sigh.

 

Yesterday was so lovely we went out to help at the clubs CX race. Everyone was great meeting Robyn since they hadnt seen me in a few years (pretransition).

Admittedly I've been in contact with them on social media during this time. 

We helped set the course up, helped with a bit of officiating until everyone got there and sorted out. Nobody even looked twice or any sideways glances. Just another woman helping out. Felt wonderful. 

Now I want to race again ... lol

 

Anyhow next week I hope to finish all the documents and get the blumin stuff sent back. 

 

Stay safe and hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Sounds like a good time Robin.  Time to get back on the saddle!!

Link to comment

Sad that different locations, even within the states, have varying degrees of difficulty to change one's name. Here? Fill out a Request for Name Change - old name, new name, state resident for 6+ months, birth date and location. Not a sex offender, no pending criminal charge, stuff like that. Submit to your county clerk, get court date. Publish in local newspaper 3 consecutive weeks. Proof of publication form. Show up at court, answer judge's questions, and POOF! New name. Took 40 days total for me. (Probably helps being in small county - Cook County probably takes a lot longer.) Driver's license? Take Gender Designation Change Form to DMV - name, DL number, address, print name and check desired gender box, sign/date. Pay small fee. There you go.

Link to comment

It certainly depends on the country you are in and also probably the number of people they need to deal with.

 

However, documents are all certified, scanned and uploaded to the department.

 

Now we wait.

 

Stay tuned. Where's my drums i need to hit a few things ;)

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Another milestone day.

I have been dreading getting a massage that i desperately needed for a year or two.

After talking to my hairdresser I decided to try the local massage place.

It turns out she was wonderful. In fact the previous month she had done a seminar/course on transgender clients.

I kid you not. It's like each of my steps has someone ahead of me making the way safe and confidence inspiring.

 

Government still dragging it's feet with certificate, so nothing new there.

 

One of the worst things the week before last was one of our beautiful fur babies past away. No more having this cute, expectant face waiting for me to come home and feed her. Never expected the water works I might add, so damned girly crying over a cat 😪.

Transition has been good in that regard being able to feel sadness and loss (which felt -crap- by the way), however to feel it (wow).

 

Lotsa hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
On 8/22/2022 at 6:59 AM, Robin.C said:

Now we wait.

Me too.

Prints sent to FBI, SBI for background checks.  It could take awhile for the results, but can't do anything without them.

Link to comment

@Robin.C My ex and I received money from friends and family at our rehearsal dinner, which was purposed for the German Shepherd we wanted. He turned out to be an extraordinary dog, and lost him to cancer at 6. Never cried so hard in my life, so I get it.

 

@IvyI'm curious as to what the background checks are for. Maybe I missed something.

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

I'm curious as to what the background checks are for.

I'm working on a legal name change.  I need that among other things in NC.  I actually got the results today.  But I'm still waiting on the SBI stuff.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm so glad you found a place to have a massage.  Good for you.  

 

I'm sorry to hear about your cat.  We certainly do become attached to our babies.  I love my girl cat.

 

Hugs,

Jani 

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Ivy said:

I'm working on a legal name change.  I need that among other things in NC.  I actually got the results today.  But I'm still waiting on the SBI stuff.

I thought that's what it was. Strange how different things can be in different states. Had to fill out a couple of simple forms, one of which was a public notice to be published in a local periodical for 3 successive weeks, and one was the actual order, on which one basically states that there is no attempt to avoid some sort of legal trouble - registered sex offender, pending prosecution  -a couple of things along those lines.  get a court date show up, voila. For me, just short of 6 weeks from the day I filed. Driver's license? Take signed court order, current license, and a simple state form stating that your name has changed and you wish to change the gender marker. Again, voila.

Link to comment

I need background checks, affidavits of character from 2 (non kin) county residents, affidavit that I don't owe child support, birth certificate, ID, SS card, and maybe another affidavit - don't have the info in front of me at the moment.  Then I have to post my intent for 10 days, before submitting a petition with all that stuff.   After that it's still up to the court - they can refuse.

 

You have to do it in your home county, and can only do it once.  It's nowhere near that complex for marriages.

 

I may be wrong, but I think the gender marker change only needs to be signed by a heath professional.  My birth certificate is in another state where I can just request it to be "corrected".

 

Yeah, every state has its own rules.

Link to comment

Crazy, the differences. I think birth certificates here in Illinois require physician affidavit or something for gender change. I was born in New York, which does not, and I'm waiting to get my new one in the mail.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Well ... the other week I came out to my ex.

She had already heard !!

 

Why on earth did I not think that it would have made it through the grapevine that is our small city. Since her son is friends with people where I work, it honestly never occurred to me that they would talk about me ... really I must be an idiot, LOL.

 

Anyhow she was okay and seemed to only interested in breasts and dressing up. So to allay her questions I use told her "yes the boob fairy has visited".

 

So all in all an okay coming out to her.

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Omergerd what a insane chaos changing your name on everything from social media to utilities !

It's almost like no-one has ever done this, so many hoops to jump through.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to cancel everything and start new accounts, sheesh.

New drivers license was the easiest thing, completely opposite to what I was expecting.

 

Anyhow just my ranting. Deep breaths and keep going.

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment

 

 

2 hours ago, Robin.C said:

Omergerd what a insane chaos changing your name on everything from social media to utilities

I'm involved in this at the moment.   I think I have my ducks in a row, but I expect trouble.  It's an uphill battle sometimes.  People that think we do this stuff on a whim are crazy.

Link to comment

As a federal retiree, I have to go through the Office of Personnel Management for not only the update on my annuity, but my health insurance. Could take another couple of months. Took no time at all to get my new Social Security card, but can't get them to update Medicare so I can get my updated card from them.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

So it has been awhile and the fun never stops does it.

I had a few ups and downs emotionally. Somethings which I thought were buried turned out not to be. Its always the way isn't it.

So drivers license done, health insurance and medicare, tax done and banks changed.

The thing that surprises me, which I guess it shouldn't is how respectful all the people I have dealt with are.

There might be a slight pause as the wheels click.

With AFL being a big deal here, the fact that a high profile former coach has come out might have paved the way better for those of us not so fortunate to be able to command such legal and media presence.

Still it is slightly euphoric to see my real name on cards and correspondence. then of course the downside is knowing there's still so much to do.

 

Anyhow thank you for reading and stay true to yourself and YMMV ;)

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That is amazing news. Treasure that moment always.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

  Congratulations on such progress!  I remember almost trying to get a traffic ticket so i could share my name.  Years later i did get stopped and my "pretty" face and "sweet" talk got me out of trouble.

  You may always get a bit of male to a dead name but it gets rare with time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Robin.C said:

The thing that surprises me, which I guess it shouldn't is how respectful all the people I have dealt with are.

I'm working through this process myself.  And this has been my experience also.  I didn't expect it.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Robin.C said:

The thing that surprises me, which I guess it shouldn't is how respectful all the people I have dealt with are.

 

That has been my experience, also.  Most people are polite by nature and don't have any problem with others.  It is just a minority that give humans a bad name.

 

Congratulations, @Robin.C!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 88 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • Couples Outfit
    • Karen Carey
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Hi   boy you back to work and miss lots.  No time to catch up right now. But I will.   just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here.   willow
    • Davie
      "No one feels alone in a bookstore."
    • Davie
      Thanks, @VickySGVfor some truth. Hatred may speak loudly in a political agenda, but there is always love, there is always love.
    • VickySGV
      Doesn't this belong over in the Humor Topic??  Grim humor I admit, but it has the dark humor picture of the folks protesting the Sacramento Sanctuary Laws.  If the world is going to end next week why are these people so concerned about someone staying fertile and able to have children??   Crazy.
    • VickySGV
      Once again the opposition is telling scary, unfounded  baloney about what IS being done to any Trans Person.  The truth about the very little and very cautious treatments just will not sink into them because it will sink them.  They bully their own Cis children unmercifully to fit into their molds, and that is gruesome in itself. I am happy to say I know that Trans children and all Trans folks in the area have access to wonderful care based on what some of my former State colleagues who have Trans family members and fellow employees there in Sacramento keep telling me about. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/local-politics/republicans-gop-ballot-initiatives-target-transgender-people/73-c47ad7ee-40ca-43e0-bb83-07e662eb1029   The reason CO has a Dem super majority is b/c it's a very blue state. A ballot initiative is going to go absolutely nowhere. They're wasting their time.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/sacramento-sanctuary-city-transgender-people-rcna145287     Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      good for you dear. my guess is soreness is good sign things are going on there. water them n hope. smiles   actually was speaking to someone other day n they said the growth leveled off after a few years  which coincided with a few years of very high stress..n then when the high stress resolved, she grew another cup size..
    • missyjo
      darling I completely agree. but it will need road testing I'd think.    and I recently asked a surgeon about an idea I had for easier recovery...do a zero depth 1st..recover then add a canal..he said NO. this surgery is hard enough on body to recover, do not do it any more than needed. also said penile inversion usually is sufficient n includes a few centimeters of perineum tissue anyway..so keep the perineum pull through as a reserve technique in case there is a problem with theb penile inversion.    hugs to any who want them
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I can't tell from the article if being trans was part of the motivation for the crime, or whether it was simply incidental to it. Clearly at least one of the perpetrators was known to the victim, which seems to continue the pattern that the most dangerous people for us are often people we know.  😒
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Beans, beans, the musical fruit...   But beans and rice make a complete protein, and a pretty cheap base for any sort of meal. Since two of my partners are Hispanic and one is Asian, we use a lot of rice. Plenty of beans too, although 90% of the time they are on the form of black-eyed peas. That crop grows really well in the South no matter how hot and dry it gets.  And the Native American trio of corn, beans, and squash is a classic.  Actually, those ingredients tend to show clearly whether kids were raised with a healthy diet or not. Kids raised eating those foods luke them. Kids raised without experiencing those foods tend to reject them immediately. Rather strange.
    • Ashley0616
      I feel a little better about going outside. I got my EpiPen just in case of an emergency. Today was rough started euphoric and then depression hit real hard and I don't even know what it was about. It just happened. I want to see a bright future but it turns dim because of something. I was disappointed on how much supplemental insurance was more than regular health insurance. I enjoy seeing other successful people making it as a couple through everything in fact I cheer them on but it just makes me think if I will find anyone. I barely dated anyone when I was physically fit male and then it seems the older I get it gets harder. Not to mention everyone down here leaves as soon as they find out I'm trans. It's only going to get more difficult because of borderline personality disorder. It's dang near seems impossible that people would even put up with that. After all that I'm still trying to be positive and hope for the best but I always expect the worst and that has always been the case. Pushing 40 and I haven't even experienced true love.
    • Ashley0616
      Couldn't be any more truthful!
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon everyone,    I’ve been working in the shop and preparing a few training props for shipping. So my responses and activity here has been very slow. I’m doing well just real tired.    Hugs,    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mmindy
      That’s good news, listen to your doctors and your body. You may be asked to start a daily exercise routine and walking around the neighborhood. The worst thing you can do is become sedentary and laying around.    Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...