Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming out Journey


Robin.C

Recommended Posts

I have someone that has done it walking me through it.

You can get the forms online. 

I don't know if she was trying to mess with me (I doubt it) or just unfamiliar with the process.  I doubt that many do it in this county.

Link to comment
  • Replies 98
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Robin.C

    40

  • Ivy

    11

  • Charlize

    10

  • Jani

    8

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Forum Moderator

@Robin.C and @Jandi, I feel for you both. It’s so frustrating when something that could’ve been made to be such a simple process has been poorly thought out, designed and implemented.

 

Six weeks ago, I had my purse stolen and a lot of other important things (long story). Everything (CC’s, Gift Cards, DL, Misc ID’s, Car Key Fob, etc..) was replaced within a week with the exception of my Federal Passport Card (not my PP book). I won’t get into the gory details of replacement here but let me tell you that the online replacement process and wait times are abysmal at best. I ended up have to pay the full amount for the card replacement and a $35 processing fee to boot. To make matters worse, it took me 2 days to get an Passport processing appointment scheduled over the phone which ended up being over a month out.

 

I just recently had that appointment and everything was finally processed, paid and sent to the US State Dept. Now, I only need to wait another 11 weeks for them to return my original passport book with my passport card replacement and I’ll be made whole again.

 

You’d think in this day and age, a simple PP Card ‘replacement’ could be completed in at most a few weeks. Not a chance!

Link to comment

So as i try and type this, pussycat has decided i am warm and soft to sit on. Sigh.

 

Yesterday was so lovely we went out to help at the clubs CX race. Everyone was great meeting Robyn since they hadnt seen me in a few years (pretransition).

Admittedly I've been in contact with them on social media during this time. 

We helped set the course up, helped with a bit of officiating until everyone got there and sorted out. Nobody even looked twice or any sideways glances. Just another woman helping out. Felt wonderful. 

Now I want to race again ... lol

 

Anyhow next week I hope to finish all the documents and get the blumin stuff sent back. 

 

Stay safe and hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Keep on riding Robin! 🚡

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Sounds like a good time Robin.  Time to get back on the saddle!!

Link to comment

It certainly depends on the country you are in and also probably the number of people they need to deal with.

 

However, documents are all certified, scanned and uploaded to the department.

 

Now we wait.

 

Stay tuned. Where's my drums i need to hit a few things ;)

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Another milestone day.

I have been dreading getting a massage that i desperately needed for a year or two.

After talking to my hairdresser I decided to try the local massage place.

It turns out she was wonderful. In fact the previous month she had done a seminar/course on transgender clients.

I kid you not. It's like each of my steps has someone ahead of me making the way safe and confidence inspiring.

 

Government still dragging it's feet with certificate, so nothing new there.

 

One of the worst things the week before last was one of our beautiful fur babies past away. No more having this cute, expectant face waiting for me to come home and feed her. Never expected the water works I might add, so damned girly crying over a cat 😪.

Transition has been good in that regard being able to feel sadness and loss (which felt -crap- by the way), however to feel it (wow).

 

Lotsa hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
On 8/22/2022 at 6:59 AM, Robin.C said:

Now we wait.

Me too.

Prints sent to FBI, SBI for background checks.  It could take awhile for the results, but can't do anything without them.

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

I'm curious as to what the background checks are for.

I'm working on a legal name change.  I need that among other things in NC.  I actually got the results today.  But I'm still waiting on the SBI stuff.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm so glad you found a place to have a massage.  Good for you.  

 

I'm sorry to hear about your cat.  We certainly do become attached to our babies.  I love my girl cat.

 

Hugs,

Jani 

Link to comment

I need background checks, affidavits of character from 2 (non kin) county residents, affidavit that I don't owe child support, birth certificate, ID, SS card, and maybe another affidavit - don't have the info in front of me at the moment.  Then I have to post my intent for 10 days, before submitting a petition with all that stuff.   After that it's still up to the court - they can refuse.

 

You have to do it in your home county, and can only do it once.  It's nowhere near that complex for marriages.

 

I may be wrong, but I think the gender marker change only needs to be signed by a heath professional.  My birth certificate is in another state where I can just request it to be "corrected".

 

Yeah, every state has its own rules.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Well ... the other week I came out to my ex.

She had already heard !!

 

Why on earth did I not think that it would have made it through the grapevine that is our small city. Since her son is friends with people where I work, it honestly never occurred to me that they would talk about me ... really I must be an idiot, LOL.

 

Anyhow she was okay and seemed to only interested in breasts and dressing up. So to allay her questions I use told her "yes the boob fairy has visited".

 

So all in all an okay coming out to her.

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Omergerd what a insane chaos changing your name on everything from social media to utilities !

It's almost like no-one has ever done this, so many hoops to jump through.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to cancel everything and start new accounts, sheesh.

New drivers license was the easiest thing, completely opposite to what I was expecting.

 

Anyhow just my ranting. Deep breaths and keep going.

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment

 

 

2 hours ago, Robin.C said:

Omergerd what a insane chaos changing your name on everything from social media to utilities

I'm involved in this at the moment.   I think I have my ducks in a row, but I expect trouble.  It's an uphill battle sometimes.  People that think we do this stuff on a whim are crazy.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

So it has been awhile and the fun never stops does it.

I had a few ups and downs emotionally. Somethings which I thought were buried turned out not to be. Its always the way isn't it.

So drivers license done, health insurance and medicare, tax done and banks changed.

The thing that surprises me, which I guess it shouldn't is how respectful all the people I have dealt with are.

There might be a slight pause as the wheels click.

With AFL being a big deal here, the fact that a high profile former coach has come out might have paved the way better for those of us not so fortunate to be able to command such legal and media presence.

Still it is slightly euphoric to see my real name on cards and correspondence. then of course the downside is knowing there's still so much to do.

 

Anyhow thank you for reading and stay true to yourself and YMMV ;)

 

Hugs

Robyn

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That is amazing news. Treasure that moment always.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

  Congratulations on such progress!  I remember almost trying to get a traffic ticket so i could share my name.  Years later i did get stopped and my "pretty" face and "sweet" talk got me out of trouble.

  You may always get a bit of male to a dead name but it gets rare with time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Robin.C said:

The thing that surprises me, which I guess it shouldn't is how respectful all the people I have dealt with are.

I'm working through this process myself.  And this has been my experience also.  I didn't expect it.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Robin.C said:

The thing that surprises me, which I guess it shouldn't is how respectful all the people I have dealt with are.

 

That has been my experience, also.  Most people are polite by nature and don't have any problem with others.  It is just a minority that give humans a bad name.

 

Congratulations, @Robin.C!

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...

Time to check on the journey.

Have no had to change doctors and where I get my prescriptions. Which has caused a lot of stress. We as humans gets used doing something and change throws us so much. Still all done and I hope it becomes the new normal.

 

One thing I have found over the last few months is that it's a little bit awkward working on my cars now. There's these two things which get in the way now. Whereas I could slide under a car quite easily with the height a normal jack puts it up to (with stands to make it safe) I have to do a second lift now to clear a few things :😮 

 

I'm a lot calmer. I might have mentioned it before. However now if something goes wrong I can easily move on and find another way to make it work. Oh except for THAT time of the month.

 

Something noone really told me would happen even with constant HRT there's still a monthly cycle. How odd. Anyone else get that ?

 

Lastly anyone know how women keep their nighties from riding up around their waist during the night. Is it because they have bigger hips to hold it in place or do they use staples/glue or nails !? :😀 

 

Anyhow lotsa hugs

Robyn

 

 

Link to comment
12 minutes ago, Robin.C said:

Lastly anyone know how women keep their nighties from riding up around their waist during the night.

I don't move around a lot when I'm asleep.  I tend to favor longer "granny" type nightgowns especially in cooler weather.  If I do wake during the night (for nature things) I adjust things if needed.

 

Probably unrelated…. In my days as a guy, I mostly slept naked.  Since I switched teams, I prefer the nightgown.

I suppose a shrink would have fun with me.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Robin.C said:

Lastly anyone know how women keep their nighties from riding up around their waist during the night. Is it because they have bigger hips to hold it in place or do they use staples/glue or nails !? :😀 

 

I sleep in the nude because my wife is always cold and needs lots of warm blankets.  But my preference is for pajamas instead of a nightie, for exactly that reason.  I got some nighties for when I went for GCS, since everyone coming into your hospital room wants to see the girl bits, but I don't wear them any more.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Robin.C said:

One thing I have found over the last few months is that it's a little bit awkward working on my cars now. There's these two things which get in the way now.

Yeah that's true.  Even leaning over a fender!  I am calmer now as well.  Not quick to anger as before.  

 

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 109 Guests (See full list)

    • EasyE
    • SamC
    • 777fleetleader777
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...