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Coming out Journey


Robin.C

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So here we are again.

 

Mothers Day was amazing in many ways. My niece and her husband it turns out have a transgender neighbour.

Now I should say my impressions of my nieces husband have been that of a blokey bloke, Aussie Rules fan, and they live in what can only be described as the outer fringes of bogansville. They are okay with trans people !! Me suitably shocked.

 

So when I got home I messaged them and basically came out to them. So now somebody in my immediate family apart from my partner actually know. they were really good and supportive. I like my niece she's a good egg.

 

Taking my mum home was also interesting as she talked about my nieces trans neighbour and offered "i think they just want to be someone different than who they are", my partner and I both explained it's the other way around "they have been pretending to be someone they aren't and want to chance to be themselves." It is sort of the same thing but not the same thing.

 

Nothing further was said. I think mum is starting to formulate stuff in her mind and I'm hoping that I can get the courage to tell her in the near future. There are also a few priests in her church who are transgender and I've also sent her videos they have produced. So if that doesn't get her thinking nothing will ?

 

I hope everyone else had as good a Mothers day as you were able to too  depending on your circumstances.

 

Hugs

Robin

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Ref. OP. Yep, I cried too when I came out recently to my ex wife. We’ve been separated four years now, breakdown as a result of me reverting to AroAce - which is what I was before I met her and we had kids. 
 

I’m neutrois, and that’s why I’m here. 
 

her reaction? ‘oh thank goodness for tht. I thought you’d gone off me’. (Errrr..... I went off everybody!!!). 
 

I’m wishing atm to embrace an androgynous presentation. She’s appointed herself as my shopping consultant, and pretty good she is at it too!!! Sends me links to things with comments like ‘this long line top is sooooo you. Get a size 9 or 10’. 
 

Me likey a lot!!!

 

Question pls, as I’m new here....

 

Is being AroAce, neutrois, androgynous with a lean towards the centre ground between masculine and feminine an ‘ok gender identity’ to have in this community? Just wanna be sure. Thx. 

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  • Admin
1 hour ago, PixieOfTheHills said:

Is being AroAce, neutrois, androgynous with a lean towards the centre ground between masculine and feminine an ‘ok gender identity’ to have in this community? Just wanna be sure. Thx. 

 

Perfectly fine, the only people who do not fit in here are those who want to take advantage of those such as yourself for purely sexual or financial reasons.  We are not a kink/fetish or a pick-up site but polite discussion that can be seen by the 13 to 18 year old crowd whom we do have here, but AroAce people are certainly part of our community. Welcome to the crowd.  It might be helpful though to use the full spell out of acronyms or shorthand jumbles of letters.  Use the whole words or phrases since many of us are older and a bit slow on that, but we will try to pick up the jargon over time.

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  • 2 months later...

Finally managed the courage to tell my mum.

Every time before I've tried to tell her I chickened out.

 

She was so sweet she said she'd pray for me. I said, thank you that would be nice.

She also went on to say she found it hard to believe but will accept it.

 

I guess we will see as time goes on. At least she didn't tell me never to see or speak to her again.

 

Next on my list is my sister. The conservative christian sister. Wonder if she is truly christian ?

 

Anyhow time for this girl to get some sleep after an emotional day.

 

Hugs

Robin

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And the last of my family have been told.

My sister wants a second opinion !! Sigh like whose life is this. We are at least still communicating.

 

Now only thing left is work and my broader friends. Close friends already know.

 

Wonder how the later part of this year will go.

Wish me well.

 

Hugs Robin

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  • Forum Moderator

A "second opinion"......That is indeed weird.  Perhaps you need to get yourself to agree with you?  Glad she didn't slam the door and hopefully she will educate herself using rational sources.

This is indeed an emotional journey.  Many highs and lows sweep by.  So much to learn and experience!  

Breath, rest and understand that we get through all this stuff.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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  • 2 weeks later...

So today was a fun day.

Made some form work to concrete a plinth for our new big letterbox.

I was trying to get my sister and brother-in-law to come round tomorrow to help me do the concreting. Instead my sister says are you home, yes, I'll come round now. Say what.

 

So concreting done and we had a good talk about my transness. I told her straight up that I wasn't going to justify myself, however I'd try to answer her questions.

It went well, she's trying to understand why her brother doesn't want to be her brother anymore.

At least she's trying.

Then she was off to drop some lemons and flowers off to mum and probably a bit of a debrief ... LOL

 

Anyhow have a great weekend.

 

Hugs

Robin

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  • Forum Moderator

That sounds like a relationship of understanding is being built with a good concrete foundation.

My brother was seemingly happy about having a little sister.  Hope you and your sister find the same in time.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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@Charlize
i hope so.

it also seems while she is a conservative Christian, her church and herself aren't closed to the LBGTQI (hope that's all the alphabet soup) community.

We live in strange times.

 

Hugs

Robin

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  • 1 month later...

So the journey that is coming out .. or living as oneself continues.

 

Today had a lovely day playing tennis in one of our National Parks today as me. Not much makeup, just eyebrows, mascara and lipstick. Nails of course. A nice t-shirt and my new tennis skort.

LOL i can still run down those wide shots people think are out if reach ?

So girl talk was had after BBQ lunch. Guess what it was about cars and motorbikes ... hahaha.

Girls can like cars and bikes ... ?

 

Have fun with your journey.

 

Hugs

Robin

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That sounds like a lovely time.  I'm a bit jealous of the tennis skort as well as the ability to play tennis.  Isn't it great that gals often talk about "guy" stuff.  Who knew?  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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  • 6 months later...

Here we are again.

This last week I had THAT conversation with HR and my supervisor.

Yep, coming out at work and keeping everything above board. It's also to not prevent rather to circumvent issues that might arise with other persons within the company. If they are aware of the companies policies and support, they will be the ones answering questions.

It was really positive and very supportive. Needless to say neither had every dealt with this situation before.

Then I told my manager .... LOL ... his comment "I never saw that coming", I actually think he was expecting me to resign :D

So next Wednesday (it is Saturday as I write this) will be the day the formal email from HR goes out to all staff. Then on Friday we have our monthly team meeting, where I will be Robin ❤️

No more feeling depressed about having to go to work in boy mode, I can be me :D

It will be interesting to see if my experience matches others in that nobody will really care and just continue with what we do.

So until next week, salutations to everyone.

 

Hugs

Robin

 

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  • Forum Moderator

I'm excited for you Robin!  I hope its goes well for you.  I'm certain it will.

 

Hugs, 
Jani

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Hello TP friends,

 

So today was my first day at work as me. Nobody really cared they had their work to do and anyone I spoke to called me by my name.

Who would have thunk all that worry was for nothing. The directors of the company were so pleased the way I handled it with HR and are fully supportive.

It's a strange feeling to not to have to avoid people and keep a low profile, not that I'm a loud kind of person anyway.

As others have told me on TP and at my local Trans club, it would be fine, everyone is happy you are happy.

So ever onward.

 

Hugs

Robyn

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Congratulations Robyn! I'm glad everything went so well, now you can just enjoy being you (well as much as anyone enjoys working lol)

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Wonderful news Robin!  It's a good feeling to work in an environment of normalcy.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Fantastic, Robyn! I'm just catching up on this thread, so to me it reads as though you've had all these conversations in about a week's span. But of course, I can look at the time stamps and see the length of the journey you've been on. It really is wonderful to read. 😊

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@Zelaire hello and thank you ❤️

Yes it seems like it was only a week a go.

When in reality its nearly coming up to 2 years, and 8 months on HRT.

 

Hugs

Robyn

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@Robin.CI just finished reading all of your outings you have in this topic. Let me tell you girl, it was like so inspirational and I only hope that my own experiences will be as enjoyable and feel as good.  Thank you soooooo much for sharing.

 

Hugs,

Erin

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@Erin Elizabeth thank you so much.

Your post has reminded me of Jackie Rabbits words. Try to be the best person you can be. 

If others then have a problem with you they can sort themselves out it is not up to us to fix them. We are rebuilding ourselves to be our best selves. Or something like that 😉

Be loving a caring.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

 

Hugs

Robin

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  • 2 weeks later...

So today was a surprise.

My sister was out of town and caught up with an old friend of hers. Whom it should be said I had a crush in a dated a couple of times. Since my sister was there as support I decided to come out to her.

Much the same reaction as my boss.

"didn't see that coming".

I'm sure I'll get a debriefing when I next see my sister.

She hasn't unfriended me on social media as yet. So I take that as a positive.

 

Hugs everyone.

Robyn

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Hope your sister takes it well Robin!   It may take a bit of time to adjust but with luck you will gain a great supporter.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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16 hours ago, Charlize said:

Hope your sister takes it well Robin!   It may take a bit of time to adjust but with luck you will gain a great supporter.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Crikey, I really shouldn't post when I'm sick.

To clarify, my sister already knows and is a great supporter. My ex-girlfriend didn't know and was being visited by my sister. I came out to ex-girlfriend while my sister was visiting her.

Clear as mud isn't it ?

I shall now go and curl up on the couch with which ever pussycat decides I'm a nice warm body to curl up against 🥰

 

Hugs

Robyn

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Curling up with a warm cat sounds fine to me. 

 

Jani

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  • 4 weeks later...

Firstly is it possible to change the name of this Post to "Coming out journey " ?

 

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  • Petra Jane changed the title to Coming out Journey

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