Seek opinions FFS 4 me

[Maddee]

Im a potato head again. 

 

Not exactly my good time idea, but no big bad deal.

It's like the electrolysis, and the follicle transplants I've had before, are baby steps preparing me for FFS, GCS, BA...

 

Thanks for the healing hopes @Jani

 

[Maddee]

I had my photos taken off this thread before.  Not sure why now.

In the end I can only validate myself and make my own decisions.

But if anyone has opinions on these, plz post back or msg me. Thx

[Jani]

You look very feminine.  Beautiful eyes! 

[rainflower]

You look very fem, Maddee.

[Maddee]

Consult today with Dr Pawar at Forme Aesthetics in Milwaukee WI.

Specializes in facial cosmetic procedures.  Relatively little experience with mtf ffs transition surgery.

He recommended non-surgical approaches (Botox, filler...)for my jaw, cheeks, and eyelift.  The only surgery he suggested for me would be rhinoplasty and possibly fat transfer instead of cheek filler.

 

@LaurenAI

don't think I will go back there.  Looking forward to meeting Dr Z again later this month.

[VickySGV]

3 hours ago, Maddee said:

The only surgery he suggested for me would be rhinoplasty and possibly fat transfer instead of cheek filler.

 

 

That was all that one of the top FFS surgeons in the U.S. recommended for me.  Another very good surgeon's staff at the same convention also said it as well.    It may actually be the best advice for you.  My nose does not scare anyone so I have left it alone in peace and as recently as of two weeks ago, a make-up artist who has several famous clients told me that my face was fun for him to make up since it was so generic.  He could have made me into anything, but chose a pleasant woman thirty years younger than my calendar age. (He did my makeup for a video my Trans Chorus was making.)

[Maddee]

@VickySGV
Thank you for the feedback.  Do you have any photos of your -30 yrs peasant look posted viewable?

Trans chorus question.
Do you have legit altos or sopranos?  If so, did they have VFS?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Maddee]

Specifically, mtf altos and sopranos, sorry

[VickySGV]

@Maddee These are selfies from when I got home from the filming.  I cannot show the official ones until the video actually comes out on the air. https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/index.php?/gallery/album/2533-2021-events-of-note/

 

We do have MtF Alto's and a soprano and several high tenors, NONE of whom have had VFS, in fact the only member who had it ended up dropping out.  (I am low Tenor and have not had VFS.)  The big deal for them is the tonality and speaking patterns of being feminine, including word choice for being who they are.  None of our Baritone or high Bass MtF singers sound male in their speaking voices either, except maybe on a telephone when the caller was expecting a male to answer.  The ones who call me "sir" on the phone are the ones looking for my former name, and they are now all sales people, most of whom hang up.  

 

 

[Maddee]

@VickySGV
Thank you for the info, and for sharing your selfies.
You look like a happy songbird ?

I think it's very interesting what you report about the vocal ranges of the chorus members, and that they have not had VFS.  I'm impressed, but not surprised.  You're in one of the largest talent pools in the world. 

And people are amazing.

 

 

[Maddee]

@VickySGV
  hope you post the link when it's released!

[Maddee]

So everything was cruising along.  I revlcieved good news that my insurance covers FFS and every other trans surgery i can think of..  They set me up with a case manager to help line up all my surgeries and paying for them.  We had our first telephone call yesterday.  Very exciting.

 

Then it got weird.

 

our phone call started off very promising.yhr case manager told me how she'll work my my cosmetic surgeons office to line things up by new years, and that everything looks good and that there's plenty of time to set it up. 

Then twenty minutes into our phone call, the case manager suddenly says she doesn't think the surgeries are covered after all.  And that she'll have to get lback to me later this week.

 

Unreal.

 

This is what happens to me.

 

Like a matrix.  Everytime I get somewhere, the door is slammed shut just as I'm starting to see through it.

 

This goes under the category of things I cannot control.  So I'm trying to deal with small things in front of me that I can do today.

 

But I'm shaking physically.  This kind of thing has happened so often in my life.

 

[Maddee]

Covered or not, I will get there. As long as I'm healthy enough.  Paying for it all was my original plan, but in that case would be at least a couple years away.

[Jani]

Maddee I am sorry you had to go through this call only to be let down.  As you note, you will get there.  Hopefully when the case manager gets back to you later there will be positive news.  Please don't let it get you down.  Its just a bump in the road.  I wish I cold give you a big hug.  

 

Hugs, Jani

[Maddee]

Thank you Jani. 

You just did.

HUG

[Maddee]

Hi.

I'm

Worried.

Praying.

 

I'm scheduled for FFS with Dr Zukowski January 6th. 

I don't mind how my face looks.  In fact, I like that part of me ok.   Just want to pass more.  want somebody to be interested in me.  This has not happened in many years.   Thank you for comments how beautiful I am.  Appreciate them so much, but it sure hasn't equated to anyone wanting to spend a day with me kn person, much less a date or relationship....

 

Surgery.

Don't want to be turned into some other person freakshow.  Reading alot and they say that this surgeon will run you over unless you somehow can stop him from doing so.  I don't think I can stop him because there's been no time for me to speak when I've met him.  I want to be submissive around him.

 

Filling out forms for two leaves of absence from work (the second for bottom surgery in March).   This process is moving. Arranging post care etc

 

The info I have from the surgeon, and from former patient I met, says I'll be recovering in a motel, and better hire a caregiver!.    Now I read someone else, who got the FFS works there, saying if they could do it again, they'd stay the first couple days post-op in a hospital for pain management.  They say Dr Z has this as an option, but they have never mentioned this option to me.   

 

Seems I need to know so much about everything, just in order to communicate and express my desires without being pushed into things.   Wish there was someone with me.   Don't want to know about everything.  Just want results i like, and nothing more.

 

Yeah right...

 

Thanks for reading my BS

 

[Maddee]

My insurance says they'll cover everything, sincd ive met my out of pocket max until next April.  need caregiver and hospital..

 

someone has info in surgeon but will not share it with me.  theyre too busy to send a text or ten minute call at their convenience.  instead, if i want the facts, i need to drive to another state and visit them on their porch.  then theyll talk to me.  

 

sounds like the balance of effort in every relationship ive known

[Charlize]

 I'm sorry you are getting the run-around but glad to hear that your insurance says they will cover everything.  There is so much worry when dealing with surgery without money adding more.  

 Good luck dear.  I hope it all goes well and you heal quickly with great results.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Maddee]

Thanks @Charlize

Sorry had a 45min meltdown there.
All good now.

How about them Olympics...?

 

 

 

 

 

[Desert Fox]

I feel for all the trouble you are going thru trying to get what you are seeking. It doesn’t surprise me either that you are hitting these obstacles. It seems little in the consumer realm goes easily, inexpensively or without trouble these days. Maybe just too many people in the world now. And corporate greed. But I digress. I just have been thinking of my own battle trying to simply start HRT. And I still have no prescription nor do I get a response from the doctor who was going to prescribe it. But I digress again. The point is we can expect to have to do battle, daily. It’s exhausting as what should be the easiest things end up taking weeks to complete. It does seem often others don’t want to put out energy and take the common courtesy to return calls and emails. Perhaps many of them are exhausted too. 
 

I think it is important not to be passive though you may become worn out and frustrated dealing with medical professionals & other ‘helpers’ (friends, social workers, etc). Always remember YOU are the customer and YOU are paying (well, even if insurance is, you are the consumer and you probably pay premiums). Sometimes obstacles are a test to see if you are serious about what you plan; other times they are a warning you are on the wrong path. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Then there’s the point that the medical profession is a for-profit industry and some doctors and surgeons have big egos to boot. You’re not there to please them, they are working for you, and they will benefit when you’re a happy customer after they did a good job.

While personally I am scared of having surgeries, I know for some people, the dysphoria is greater than the pain of recovering from physical procedures and they are willing to take the risks. I don’t know what you feel inside, though what worries me is when I hear someone planning cosmetic surgery because they feel others won’t find them attractive if they don’t change something physically about themselves. The trick is to figure out truly if you are making a change that will make YOU feel better vs. what you think others will like in anticipation that you’ll feel loved & accepted. There’s always going to be people out there who think you’re beautiful, some want to be with you but perhaps are afraid to ask…and there are others who are indifferent, and still others who just don’t care for your look or act hateful because they are jealous or otherwise insecure. The kind of person you want in a relationship will not put you down for your looks. 

Hugs, strength & good fortune,

~Ariel

 

[Maddee]

Thank you for the feedback @Desert Fox

I'm sorry.  For not being clear.  Must improve this.

I'm not getting any runaround of obstacles at all.  My surgery is scheduled, and insurance is on board. 

What has me worried is that I don't know how to set my boundaries and limit the procedures.  Clearly. 
This is a big deal.  And I don't think I'm ugly. I almost pass now.

But I've seen some mtfs in my age range get nice results, and since insurance will pay id like that too.

Long term safety is a big part of it also.  I will try to be
Better communications with Dr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Desert Fox]

Sorry…..I apologize that I misunderstood where you are at….upon rereading, it’s more clear…my bad. I’m glad the insurance and doctor choice has been worked out…that’s huge…and it sounds like you are confident as to why you want to do this, it’s just some details that still need to be worked out. 

 

You mentioned you wish there was someone with you and I agree…if you can have a friend with you or someone to help you communicate with the staff and support you before & after the procedure, it may make things much easier. I can be difficult to advocate for oneself while facing any medical procedure and sometimes you need someone else help you stand up for what YOU want. And sometimes it works better to have someone else ask certain questions for you. Whoever that person is, though, has to be someone you trust who is also very clear on what you want and clear on expressing it, so you’ll want to “rehearse” to make sure all is fully understood. 
 

In the absence of another person….having things in writing can help make sure your wishes are clear to staff and also to remind yourself, should you feel pressured to go a direction you aren’t comfortable with. 

[Maddee]

Thank you for excellent advice!!

Instead of putting all my chips on a one hour visit where I get lost, I will put these together, in writing and pictures.  And email. 

 

Just got a phone call from my employer case manager about the upcoming leave of absence.  Nobody putting up obstacles at me this moment.

 

Still reaching out to surgeons about breast augmentation, and other body modification that are available. 

 

Like some others who have gone before me have expressed, I won't bear children, have a girlhood, be a daughter, sister etc etc.  (It's probably okay not to norm, because I'm weird, trans not included.)  But I would like to physically fulfill the role of woman in ways that are available to me, in my time.  I am happier just walking this path towards it.

 

Love is important.  I have rejected it, apparently since infant.  No reason, it just is.

 

Going through the doors opened with key given:

A double rainbow. each with both ends!!

Covenant of four changes?

Bridges.

Faith.

Surrender to love.

[Jani]

@Maddee have you thought of asking your insurance company which doctors they work with that perform the surgeries you want?  That might be a start. 

 

Jani

[Maddee]

Hi Jani!

@Jani
❤️????????

 

Yes I have. 

They would only be specific, asking me which state I wanted the list for.

 

So I asked for five states worth.

I have a consult with one next month. I don't think he does hips.

 

The matrix is allowing me to see possibilities now.    It's making me funny.

Breasts go without say, but wait five years I guess?

 

@Jackie C.@Shay

Hip implants seem like a rare thing.

Pelvic Osteoplasty is possibly unique.

 

 Alot of places will do a fat transfer to butt or hips.  But then it's reabsorbed.  I figure if you're gonna do a surgery, make it noticeable and long lasting enough to be worth the time risk and pain. 

 

Not talking Kardashian.

I do not yearn to be re constructed by Ep-pley either.  scares and entices  

 

But a fat transfer trying to fill too many areas could fail to change any one of them in the long run...

 

Somewhere in between?

Hard to find.