Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Seek opinions FFS 4 me


Recommended Posts

Im a potato head again. 


Not exactly my good time idea, but no big bad deal.

It's like the electrolysis, and the follicle transplants I've had before, are baby steps preparing me for FFS, GCS, BA...


Thanks for the healing hopes @Jani


Link to comment
  • Replies 55
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Jani


  • Maddee


  • Shay


  • LaurenA


Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

I had my photos taken off this thread before.  Not sure why now.

In the end I can only validate myself and make my own decisions.

But if anyone has opinions on these, plz post back or msg me. Thx





Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You look very feminine.  Beautiful eyes! 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Consult today with Dr Pawar at Forme Aesthetics in Milwaukee WI.

Specializes in facial cosmetic procedures.  Relatively little experience with mtf ffs transition surgery.

He recommended non-surgical approaches (Botox, filler...)for my jaw, cheeks, and eyelift.  The only surgery he suggested for me would be rhinoplasty and possibly fat transfer instead of cheek filler.



don't think I will go back there.  Looking forward to meeting Dr Z again later this month.

Link to comment
  • Admin
3 hours ago, Maddee said:

The only surgery he suggested for me would be rhinoplasty and possibly fat transfer instead of cheek filler.



That was all that one of the top FFS surgeons in the U.S. recommended for me.  Another very good surgeon's staff at the same convention also said it as well.    It may actually be the best advice for you.  My nose does not scare anyone so I have left it alone in peace and as recently as of two weeks ago, a make-up artist who has several famous clients told me that my face was fun for him to make up since it was so generic.  He could have made me into anything, but chose a pleasant woman thirty years younger than my calendar age. (He did my makeup for a video my Trans Chorus was making.)

Link to comment

Thank you for the feedback.  Do you have any photos of your -30 yrs peasant look posted viewable?

Trans chorus question.
Do you have legit altos or sopranos?  If so, did they have VFS?







Link to comment
  • Admin

@Maddee These are selfies from when I got home from the filming.  I cannot show the official ones until the video actually comes out on the air. https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/index.php?/gallery/album/2533-2021-events-of-note/


We do have MtF Alto's and a soprano and several high tenors, NONE of whom have had VFS, in fact the only member who had it ended up dropping out.  (I am low Tenor and have not had VFS.)  The big deal for them is the tonality and speaking patterns of being feminine, including word choice for being who they are.  None of our Baritone or high Bass MtF singers sound male in their speaking voices either, except maybe on a telephone when the caller was expecting a male to answer.  The ones who call me "sir" on the phone are the ones looking for my former name, and they are now all sales people, most of whom hang up.  



Link to comment

Thank you for the info, and for sharing your selfies.
You look like a happy songbird 😊

I think it's very interesting what you report about the vocal ranges of the chorus members, and that they have not had VFS.  I'm impressed, but not surprised.  You're in one of the largest talent pools in the world. 

And people are amazing.



Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

So everything was cruising along.  I revlcieved good news that my insurance covers FFS and every other trans surgery i can think of..  They set me up with a case manager to help line up all my surgeries and paying for them.  We had our first telephone call yesterday.  Very exciting.


Then it got weird.


our phone call started off very promising.yhr case manager told me how she'll work my my cosmetic surgeons office to line things up by new years, and that everything looks good and that there's plenty of time to set it up. 

Then twenty minutes into our phone call, the case manager suddenly says she doesn't think the surgeries are covered after all.  And that she'll have to get lback to me later this week.




This is what happens to me.


Like a matrix.  Everytime I get somewhere, the door is slammed shut just as I'm starting to see through it.


This goes under the category of things I cannot control.  So I'm trying to deal with small things in front of me that I can do today.


But I'm shaking physically.  This kind of thing has happened so often in my life.


Link to comment

Covered or not, I will get there. As long as I'm healthy enough.  Paying for it all was my original plan, but in that case would be at least a couple years away.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Maddee I am sorry you had to go through this call only to be let down.  As you note, you will get there.  Hopefully when the case manager gets back to you later there will be positive news.  Please don't let it get you down.  Its just a bump in the road.  I wish I cold give you a big hug.  


Hugs, Jani

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...






I'm scheduled for FFS with Dr Zukowski January 6th. 

I don't mind how my face looks.  In fact, I like that part of me ok.   Just want to pass more.  want somebody to be interested in me.  This has not happened in many years.   Thank you for comments how beautiful I am.  Appreciate them so much, but it sure hasn't equated to anyone wanting to spend a day with me kn person, much less a date or relationship....



Don't want to be turned into some other person freakshow.  Reading alot and they say that this surgeon will run you over unless you somehow can stop him from doing so.  I don't think I can stop him because there's been no time for me to speak when I've met him.  I want to be submissive around him.


Filling out forms for two leaves of absence from work (the second for bottom surgery in March).   This process is moving. Arranging post care etc


The info I have from the surgeon, and from former patient I met, says I'll be recovering in a motel, and better hire a caregiver!.    Now I read someone else, who got the FFS works there, saying if they could do it again, they'd stay the first couple days post-op in a hospital for pain management.  They say Dr Z has this as an option, but they have never mentioned this option to me.   


Seems I need to know so much about everything, just in order to communicate and express my desires without being pushed into things.   Wish there was someone with me.   Don't want to know about everything.  Just want results i like, and nothing more.


Yeah right...


Thanks for reading my BS


Link to comment

My insurance says they'll cover everything, sincd ive met my out of pocket max until next April.  need caregiver and hospital..


someone has info in surgeon but will not share it with me.  theyre too busy to send a text or ten minute call at their convenience.  instead, if i want the facts, i need to drive to another state and visit them on their porch.  then theyll talk to me.  


sounds like the balance of effort in every relationship ive known

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

 I'm sorry you are getting the run-around but glad to hear that your insurance says they will cover everything.  There is so much worry when dealing with surgery without money adding more.  

 Good luck dear.  I hope it all goes well and you heal quickly with great results.





Link to comment

I feel for all the trouble you are going thru trying to get what you are seeking. It doesn’t surprise me either that you are hitting these obstacles. It seems little in the consumer realm goes easily, inexpensively or without trouble these days. Maybe just too many people in the world now. And corporate greed. But I digress. I just have been thinking of my own battle trying to simply start HRT. And I still have no prescription nor do I get a response from the doctor who was going to prescribe it. But I digress again. The point is we can expect to have to do battle, daily. It’s exhausting as what should be the easiest things end up taking weeks to complete. It does seem often others don’t want to put out energy and take the common courtesy to return calls and emails. Perhaps many of them are exhausted too. 

I think it is important not to be passive though you may become worn out and frustrated dealing with medical professionals & other ‘helpers’ (friends, social workers, etc). Always remember YOU are the customer and YOU are paying (well, even if insurance is, you are the consumer and you probably pay premiums). Sometimes obstacles are a test to see if you are serious about what you plan; other times they are a warning you are on the wrong path. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Then there’s the point that the medical profession is a for-profit industry and some doctors and surgeons have big egos to boot. You’re not there to please them, they are working for you, and they will benefit when you’re a happy customer after they did a good job.

While personally I am scared of having surgeries, I know for some people, the dysphoria is greater than the pain of recovering from physical procedures and they are willing to take the risks. I don’t know what you feel inside, though what worries me is when I hear someone planning cosmetic surgery because they feel others won’t find them attractive if they don’t change something physically about themselves. The trick is to figure out truly if you are making a change that will make YOU feel better vs. what you think others will like in anticipation that you’ll feel loved & accepted. There’s always going to be people out there who think you’re beautiful, some want to be with you but perhaps are afraid to ask…and there are others who are indifferent, and still others who just don’t care for your look or act hateful because they are jealous or otherwise insecure. The kind of person you want in a relationship will not put you down for your looks. 

Hugs, strength & good fortune,



Link to comment

Thank you for the feedback @Desert Fox

I'm sorry.  For not being clear.  Must improve this.

I'm not getting any runaround of obstacles at all.  My surgery is scheduled, and insurance is on board. 

What has me worried is that I don't know how to set my boundaries and limit the procedures.  Clearly. 
This is a big deal.  And I don't think I'm ugly. I almost pass now.

But I've seen some mtfs in my age range get nice results, and since insurance will pay id like that too.

Long term safety is a big part of it also.  I will try to be
Better communications with Dr.











Link to comment

Sorry…..I apologize that I misunderstood where you are at….upon rereading, it’s more clear…my bad. I’m glad the insurance and doctor choice has been worked out…that’s huge…and it sounds like you are confident as to why you want to do this, it’s just some details that still need to be worked out. 


You mentioned you wish there was someone with you and I agree…if you can have a friend with you or someone to help you communicate with the staff and support you before & after the procedure, it may make things much easier. I can be difficult to advocate for oneself while facing any medical procedure and sometimes you need someone else help you stand up for what YOU want. And sometimes it works better to have someone else ask certain questions for you. Whoever that person is, though, has to be someone you trust who is also very clear on what you want and clear on expressing it, so you’ll want to “rehearse” to make sure all is fully understood. 

In the absence of another person….having things in writing can help make sure your wishes are clear to staff and also to remind yourself, should you feel pressured to go a direction you aren’t comfortable with. 

Link to comment

Thank you for excellent advice!!

Instead of putting all my chips on a one hour visit where I get lost, I will put these together, in writing and pictures.  And email. 


Just got a phone call from my employer case manager about the upcoming leave of absence.  Nobody putting up obstacles at me this moment.


Still reaching out to surgeons about breast augmentation, and other body modification that are available. 


Like some others who have gone before me have expressed, I won't bear children, have a girlhood, be a daughter, sister etc etc.  (It's probably okay not to norm, because I'm weird, trans not included.)  But I would like to physically fulfill the role of woman in ways that are available to me, in my time.  I am happier just walking this path towards it.


Love is important.  I have rejected it, apparently since infant.  No reason, it just is.


Going through the doors opened with key given:

A double rainbow. each with both ends!!

Covenant of four changes?



Surrender to love.


Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Maddee have you thought of asking your insurance company which doctors they work with that perform the surgeries you want?  That might be a start. 



Link to comment

Hi Jani!



Yes I have. 

They would only be specific, asking me which state I wanted the list for.


So I asked for five states worth.

I have a consult with one next month. I don't think he does hips.


The matrix is allowing me to see possibilities now.    It's making me funny.

Breasts go without say, but wait five years I guess?


@Jackie C.@Shay

Hip implants seem like a rare thing.

Pelvic Osteoplasty is possibly unique.


 Alot of places will do a fat transfer to butt or hips.  But then it's reabsorbed.  I figure if you're gonna do a surgery, make it noticeable and long lasting enough to be worth the time risk and pain. 


Not talking Kardashian.

I do not yearn to be re constructed by Ep-pley either.  scares and entices  


But a fat transfer trying to fill too many areas could fail to change any one of them in the long run...


Somewhere in between?

Hard to find.






Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 48 Guests (See full list)

    • Robin.C
    • neo3000
    • unknown
    • MaryEllen
    • rachel w
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Jamie x
    Newest Member
    Jamie x
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. martin
      (43 years old)
    2. sweetgirl919
      (43 years old)
    3. Thenewsteph
      (27 years old)
    4. UnknownReality
      (32 years old)
  • Posts

    • neo3000
      suits. even tho they're quite formal, blazers and trousers make me feel like a man.  but also the baggy t-shirt/big jacket/straight jeans combo. they make me feel like any other boy my age, it makes me feel very happy.  
    • Nora
      Edit: ...as MOST if not all human beings are lol.
    • Nora
      ...Buuut...crap. This might be one of those social situations where I just shouldn't say anything, but I'm a little drunk, so I'm gonna risk it LOL. Here goes it: The first thing that comes to mind, is...there is no free will. ...For anyone to decide to do anything at all is simply an illusion; a beautiful lie. The reality of the matter is that due to the laws of nature and the laws of physics, EVERYTHING is pre-determined; written in stone the moment gravity first got it's foothold in this most-likely-fake thing humans like to call the Universe. For me to think that I have any kind of say in anything at all just seems to be laughably absurd to me. ...We're all slaves to fatalistic destiny. No one is really responsible or to be blamed for anything in Universe. ...And that's pretty much the only way I've found for me to forgive people who hurt me and others...it's not their fault; they know not what they do lol. The second thing that came to mind is WAY less deep; it's simply that it occurred to me that perhaps a part of me doesn't really like the word "Dysphoria" because it sounds like a mental illness. I'm not sick. Nothing's wrong with me. I'm merely dissatisfied with various aspects of my body, as all human beings are. Thinking of myself as "dysphoric" just feels...WEIRD lol. XD
    • Nora
      Edit: ...and part of middle school before "the incident." Sorry; I zoned out and re-lived some crap for a sec. I'm fine LOL. XD
    • Nora
      Thanks for sharing! That makes a lot more sense; the social dysphoria you describe is something I've felt for literally decades, in the sense I never really got along with the boys and preferred playing house with the girls, especially when I got to be the baby LOL. 😆 Got bullied all throughout elementary school, and part of elementary school before "the incident" happened when I was twelve, and then I prefer to just fast forward five years later at the age of seventeen and just skip that violent-gorey-horror-movie section of my life that led to copious amounts of drug and alcohol abuse which continues to this day despite my nurse's wishes lol. Then the good old fashioned bullying from when I was kid resumed all throughout my five year long firefighting career starting at seventeen. It was nice; I actually enjoyed the hazing; it was WAY nicer than...the period of time we shall never speak of...at least not tonight. =P
    • Nora
    • Nora
      Indeed, I should not care what others think or say, but alas, I just can't help myself lol. I'm terrified of causing a scene. I live in a town fulla cowboys, mountain men and rednecks. ...What if one of them's a psychotic bigot? ...What if they go after my mother? ...What if I can't do anything to protect her? ...I'd probably end up becoming a serial killer who targets transphobes, collecting locks of their hair in a scrapbook as trophies; THAT'S WHAT! Rotflol. 🤣   ...And I just CAN'T let that happen lmao. XD ...I'll get out of the house more in a few years or so LOL. XD
    • Delcina B
      Thanks @stveee ! There are so many common threads in your story & mine. I kind of regret not thinking of feminizing my clothes, it would've given me a bigger wardrobe. ICurrrently: finally ready to face myself, sober, and will begin with a gender therapist who is transitioned. Questioning whether I desire or need to transition to female. I was right there nine months ago, so happy to have found this forum, & a wonderful gender therapist. I too feel more alive & someone is unfolding on this journey into my femme.   Hugs! Delcina
    • Mia Marie
      That's no way to live. I have been this way and I am just getting to the point it doesn't really bother me to walk around the women's dept and look to see what treasure I can find to wear. I am in the building stage with my wardrobe and I know it will take me a long time to find just the right garment to buy and wear. I have been working on my transition actually for the last couple of years, but medically transitioning for the last year. I can say I am not as nervous today with wanting to step out as my authentic self. I want to do it more and sometimes it seems exciting and all I can do is smile. I don't care if I am presenting correctly. It is my differences that make me better see what to do next. I have a plan to go to the mall and sit, watch and learn what will make me better. Fear shouldn't become the factor for not presenting in public. You shouldn't care what others think and say.
    • Davie
      "It's not the mountain we conquer,    but ourselves."     — Edmund Hillary 
    • Delcina B
      Welcome Vincent! Glad you're here. I think you'll find it a great place as I have with lots of loving support, advice & acceptance to help you on your journey.   Hugs! Delcina
    • AgnesBardsie
      Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. It is very helpful!
    • stveee
      I want to feel cute but comfy, so it's either nightshirts/nightgowns lounging around the house, or an off the shoulder top or crop top really makes me feel girly. 
    • stveee
      Hi, my name is Stevie. I started "crossdressing" in early teens, maybe before, by cutting up my clothing. My parents would find piles of them and who knows what they thought. But I just had to do it. Then when I was 16 was the first time I tried on my older sister's tops.    My father suggested I join the Army after high school. I did and would buy clothes for my girlfriends and end up wearing them. I would engage in intimacy but stopped short of sex. I felt like my genitalia was not connected to my mind and felt no pleasure through it.    While in the military I took to binge drinking and severe depression ensued. By the time of discharge, I was suicidal, had several attempts and detoxes. I was admitted into the VA hospital and the first two meds made me numb and psychosis developed. Then, I genuinely tried to take my own life. Finally, a few years later, put on disability and took prozac for around 12 years which helped a bit. I met my first transgender (older transitioned MtF) persons in the VA and basically brought up the idea: why can't I be somewhere in the middle gender? Answer I got was basically Honey, that's not how it works. So facing a transition to female, I think I was 28 at the time, seemed like what I had to do. Or at least, try to live as much female as possible. I ended up marrying because I was lonely and afraid I could not support myself, and she accepted my gender ID and crossdressing. But I was seeing no therapist, no hormones. Started electrolysis in this DIY attempt, and some kind of facial hormone cream which I didn't realize was all short-sighted. Early internet days, shoddy information, sketchy sites.  The marriage was a disaster as there was abuse, drugs, alcohol and our individual psychological issues. Finally was separated, on my own and basically just existing. Using substances to cope. Dead to the world. Continued to keep a wardrobe and just managing the "dual life".  Went through Vocational Rehab in a janitorial program to get back into work. Exterted myself and got the job I have today and making more than I ever did. A few years, tossed my wardrobe (again)...oh, except a few things of course, and thinking the dysphoria will just go away now that I am older. Nope.   Currrently: finally ready to face myself, sober, and will begin with a gender therapist who is transitioned. Questioning whether I desire or need to transition to female. Accumulating another wardrobe. Really regret tossing my shoes and I had some really cool things. I have the feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing a girl in there, buried under years of self-abuse. The fluidity is a bit precarious as the more I accept and go femme, the more alive I feel, like something is unfolding.  But I am still quite boyish and discovering what fits for me right now and the my physical limitations and working with them I guess as I am not just confined to the closet and want to be seen for who I am...which is a work in progress I suppose. There are still things about me that I very much like and don't want to change, and others which seem to cause conflict.  I get some comfort in realizing I do not necessarily have to be either one or the other gender right now, and it's more about how I feel about myself than passing or trying to live up to an ideal image. But sort of feel like a small minority as someone who has not gone through all the changes (yet?) of the transitioned, as I am still outing myself in small steps, in a small circle. I am naturally careful, but honest. I do not fear being hurt so much "out there", as I know from experience I am my own worst enemy and cause my own difficulties more than anyone could ever do.  Thank you for letting me share. I actually hope this has helped someone else who is lurking. After all, "Normal People" don't go years struggling with questioning their gender- we are all Trans here and in different chapters of the same story.  Love you All, S.
    • Vince94
      Hey, everyone! I'm on low dose T now for about 7 months, I use Testogel and, except for a few more whiskers and other very little changes, there hasn't really happened anything yet. I don't wanna say I'm not happy with what has changed but I really wish for a little more, especially after that time. My dose is really low, now I want to take twice as much and hope to get closer to my goal during the next months. But there are two things I'm a little worried about so I thought maybe someone here could help me! About two or three months after I've started HRT, I noticed that I'm losing much more hair than before. It still looks totally okay but there IS a difference. Do you think I will lose even more when I increase the dose? I mean, if that's the case I will accept it. Before I started HRT I was waaay more worried about that. Now it's not that much of a problem for me anymore but it would still be nice to know what to expect. :'D And the second thing (which I'm more afraid of): I've read that transmen on Testosterone have to have their internal female parts removed (uterus and ovaries, as far as I know) because else the risk will be higher to develop cancer. I don't know if that's true and if yes, how quickly I have to do that to prevent anything! I'm afraid I'll have less time to undergo that treatment when I increase my dose, and I don't know when I'll be ready for that. (It's not that I want to keep those parts, I just have a problem with hospitals and suffer from panic attacks when it comes to certain check ups or medical treatments...) And another question that's just coming to my mind: Will the removal of those parts have any other effects on my physical and mental health?   I want to talk with my gynaecologist about all that anyway but I'd still like to hear some opinions/experiences from other transmen (or non-binary persons on T or others who know more than I do)! I don't know how much my gynaecologist knows about the whole topic, and unfortunately, I can't talk with my endocrinologist about it because she probably can't tell me ANYTHING. I don't wanna sound mean but she's really not competent, and I'm not the only one who noticed that. Everytime I was there, I've had bad experiences. She gave me wrong information. Not to mention the assistants. But she's the only endocrinologist within my reach so I don't have much of a choice.   So, I hope someone here can share their knowledge/experiences with me; I'd be grateful for any answer!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...