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By kira_k · Posted
Hi, I'm really new here as well as relatively new to crossdressing and working things out, so wanted to get some things off my chest and hopefully a bit of support. - I don't really like labels, but feel pressured to find one. I feel that it's a losing battle. I don't like the term crossdresser, which I will explain later. I don't really relate to trans or any of the other words. Sometimes I am a man who expresses themselves as one would expect, other times I'm a man who dresses like a woman, sometimes I feel like a woman who is dressed like a man and hate my body, other times I'm okay just expressing some femininity. It's all very confusing. I feel like it doesn't really matter and just accepting that I am who I am and how I feel is enough. But then how do you describe that to other people without pouring out the turmoil you feel about labels? - It feels very lonely. I don't plan on transitioning so there are various issues such as hair (or lack of it), body shape and size etc, which makes it too obvious that I'm a man when trying to be feminine. It feels like I have something to hide and I have no one to talk to and share things with. This isn't my whole life, it's just one part of me - I have many other interests, but it would be nice just to be able to say I bought this dress or skirt that I liked and to be proud of it and just have people talk back with the same sort of pride and interest. - As I said, I don't really like being called a crossdresser, despite doing exactly what that denotes. The reason is probably more to do with other people. It already has a negative association, but it also doesn't help when you try and reach out to people on forums and the online community only to find a website full of creeps (So far, that's not what I've got here btw, which I'm very pleased to say). For example, I joined one forum, only to be propositioned within 2 minutes of joining and then to get a feed full of explicit photos. Regardless of sexual motivation or not, this isn't the way you approach strangers. I want to be treated with respect, and unfortunately, it seems that there are groups of people who make the term crossdresser a really depressing one. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to offend anyone. It's just that this doesn't seem like the correct way to approach people. Sexy stuff is fine, if done with respect. It so happens that it's not why I cross-dress, so maybe it's just me being sensitive. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right. - I have started to wear a wig and it's taking some getting used to. It's on securely, it doesn't move or anything. But sometimes it feels like it's sliding off the side of my head. I go check and everything is fine. I think I just need to get used to it more. - How do people deal with hair. I'm quite a hairy person and because of swap back and forth, I don't really want to remove too much. I don't mind removing leg hair and shaving, but arms are a bit obvious. I've been told that it's not essential to pass as a woman and sometimes I fell like I don't need to, as I've said above. But I was just wondering about other people's experiences when it comes to this. I've probably blurted out too much at once and I really do apologise if I've offended anyone, I'm honestly not trying to do that. Kira x -
By April Marie · Posted
Perfectly stated @Marcie Jensen. A person doesn't just go from angry to mass murderer in a day. Someone or multiple people missed signs before he acted out. Going from considering self-harm - something many if not most of us have considered because of the tremendous external and internal pressures we experience - to murdering innocent children and adults isn't a natural progression. As I've mentioned before, our society always defaults to looking for an easy end to problems - someone or something to blame quickly so they can "solve" the problem and move on. Complex issues get a band-aid so we can get back to Starbucks and Snapchat. If Aiden had taken a knife and killed just one person would people demand knife confiscation? Would it be less of a tragedy because only one person was murdered? Of course not. Any act of violence, whether at the hands of a transgender, cisgender, nonbinary......... any act of violence is tragic and needless. The way to stop it isn't through eliminating the means, it's through addressing the root causes - inadequate mental health care, presence of tremendous societal prejudices, inadequate family structures, lack of individual accountability for actions, lack of a societal moral compass, loss of a belief in the sanctity of life....I could go on. And, in the end, my heart breaks for the families who are suffering today because we - our politicians and our society - shed a tear and then plaster another band-aid solution over the problem. -
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By Mirrabooka · Posted
Thank you very much, lovely people! I'm definitely feeling warm and fuzzy from the replies. 🥰 -
By kira_k · Posted
Thank you everyone for the very warm welcome. I really appreciate it. Kira -
By VickySGV · Posted
There were SEVEN deaths in this event. I realize only SIX of the SEVEN will be publicly mourned and honored, but still the 7th death happened and the mourning for that one too needs for all of us to join it. -
By Marcie Jensen · Posted
Some significant facts: First, he was 28 years old. He was not a child, kid or anything other than an adult. We don't know his mental state as HIPAA laws prevent the public from finding out. Can we place some of the blame on his medial care provider? Maybe, but this too is a gray area and we have no details regarding his care and treatment regimen. Second, he purchased the guns legally. They were NOT "given" to him. Additionally, the firearms were purchased in five different places, and Aiden/Audrey went through at least five and possibly seven background checks; one for each firearm purchased. A third point, firearms are not toys and should never be referred to as such for any reason. Firearms are inanimate objects--tools--and have to be wielded by human beings. Granted, humans often use them for awful purpose. Let's make no mistake, Aiden/Audrey Hale was responsible for this regardless of mental state' The entire situation is a tragedy for any number of reasons and media reporting has been confusing at best and downright misleading at worst. While the shooter may be considered a victim too, the real tragedy is for the children and their families. While the shooter and his family have my sympathy, I can't give him a pass because of gender dysphoria. There are tens of thousands of us in this country, we have each had our own trials and bad experiences and we have dealt with them without resorting to mass murder. And as if all of this isn't enough, one of the TN delegation to congress is already raising a ruckus and railing against the trans community. With regard to the trans community as a whole, it's simply given the far right even more grounds to persecute us and our community such bad, and unwarranted, publicity that the cause of trans rights has had a huge setback. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
As usual, the talking heads take a tiny bit of truth and twist it. I recall Satan quoting Scripture in the New Testament in a similar fashion. Yeah, SSRI's can have nasty side effects. Yeah, Christians can be (and are) targeted. But Tucker (getting difficult to say his name with the proper consonent 🙄) making those claims in this case as mere speculation and weaving together an unfounded narrative is irresponsible and dishonest. Until now, it has seemed like MtF trans folks have been the primary target. If Aiden was FtM, I wonder what new facet of persecution is going to show up? -
By Andy88 · Posted
I can totally relate! -
By Pacificlife1994 · Posted
So I’m AmAB been in hormones about four or five months and people look at me more than ever.I think it’s because I’m in the androgynous phase.But recently I noticed I don’t get the weird look until I open my mouth.Talk about awkward. I think some people read me as a young feminine faced guy,and some read me as a female.The other day a young boy called me a girl at the store.Any thoughts or your own experiences/funny memories? -
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