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Body (Some morning mood free writing~)


JK

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This body is me.

 

I don't have a choice
I can't cut off the pieces that don't suit me
I can't swap it out for a different model
I can't upgrade
I live with it

 

I crave love, so I reach out for it
For a crumb of recognition from the men I long to be
They hold me and remind me what I'm not
I want to be

 

Then she loves me
She who is perfect and precious and everything
I want to love her too, so badly, but I can't
She doesn't see me
I run back into the arms of men

 

It catches up years later, 
The hard-fought realization that we weren't "she" and "she"
That pansexual, as broad as it seems, fits too tightly
That this body, as mine as it is, isn't like me

 

I looked up to the people around me who were bold enough to live their truth
vehemently denying it was mine

 

It's easier to be "she"
but I'm not

 

"she" is a body

 

He is.

 

He is me.

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1 hour ago, Abi said:

I am sad you feel that way. If you ever need to talk just say the word.

 

I'm doing well, actually. Digging back into old feelings and writing them out is a nice way for me to release the negative and move on. ❤️ Thank you for reading, and for being so kind. 

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  • Forum Moderator

@JK and @Abi - Digging back into old feeling, identifying them and releasing them - each time the pain will last a shorter time until they mostly disappear from your life.

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1 hour ago, Shay said:

@JK and @Abi - Digging back into old feeling, identifying them and releasing them - each time the pain will last a shorter time until they mostly disappear from your life.

 

I couldn't agree more. ❤️ 

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