I am a little scared I might develop a disorder

[BasiliaChopin]

I have always felt overweight even when I was underweight, I felt a little better for a while, then had a partner who would make me weigh myself in front of them even if it made me cry, and tonight I ate something which made me feel deeply sick. To relieve the pressure I made myself vomit, and realized it felt pretty great. I need to know if this should scare me or not.

[AnnaD]

if you need to make yourself vomit a lot, please see a doctor.

[tracy_j]

In my opinion it is something to keep an eye on. There is a difference in knowing something does not agree with you, making yourself sick to speed the process and regularly making yourself sick. If that happens you have a problem. DON'T use vomiting in any regular sense.

 

My only real experience with this was a few years ago when I was wanting to lose weight. I reduced down to a reasonable weight but increasingly found that I was feeling sick after meals so eat less. People were beginning to say I looked gaunt even though I was not underweight. I realised what was happening and gradually recovered without help but it was scary to know what was happening. It is strange that these days I have gone down to a similar weight, or even temporarily less, but not had the same problem or appearance. Now I look better at the lower (but still inside correct weight for my build) weight and don't have these feelings. There are both good and bad ways to lose weight and you need to understand what is ideal for your body rather than any outside prompt. Talking to a nutritionist would help but it is respecting your body which will make both it and you feel at your best. Don't aspire to a look which is beyond reason for you nominal body type or lifestyle.

 

Tracy

[BasiliaChopin]

Thanks for the help, friends. I am going to make sure not to revisit this unless I think something in my body is about to kill me. I think I was just super scared by how easy it was, when formerly I thought it had been nearly impossible.

[Teri Anne]

Learn to love yourself first.

It sounds like you have some sort of shame or guilt you are harboring deep inside.

[Teri Anne]

I am speaking as a person that has an eating disorder so I know what you are feeling.

I never did the voluntary vomiting thing because my disorder is over eating. Frequent vomiting is dangerous and one friend who was anorexic actually died from throwing up so much.

My suggestion to learn to love yourself first is based on how it helped me to deal with my own issues.