-
Who's Online 8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 61 Guests (See full list)
- Betty K
- Rania
- Jackie C.
- VickySGV
- QuestioningAmber
- Becca-beans
- Aurora
- AwesomeClaire
-
Recently Browsing 0 members
No registered users viewing this page.
-
Topics With Zero Replies
-
Forum Statistics
-
Total Topics73,365
-
Total Posts675,611
-
-
Member Statistics
-
Total Members8,166
-
Most Online8,356
Newest Member
Flowers
Joined -
-
Today's Birthdays
No users celebrating today -
Posts
-
By AgnesBardsie · Posted
Love this discussion. Myles, great question. It's very important to probe these sort of anxieties, and I agree with you about not drawing boxes too tight! We don't fit into nice neat little boxes! You have to be comfortable in your own skin. Like Kathy said, once you accept your own skin, you stop asking the question, and that helps with the confidence issue. -
-
-
By Myles97 · Posted
@Jackie C.your dad sounds amazing. I am so glad you have him!! I hope that your mom comes around eventually, but if not I am sure you know that she is the one missing out. From what I know about you so far, you are a wonderful soul!! I am hoping my mom will respond like your dad did. I think I am going to tell her tomorrow. I was originally going to tell her last night, but that didn’t work out. -
By Mmindy · Posted
Raw foods cause weight gain? Who knew, okay I could see that with sweet fruits such as pineapples🍍and peaches🍑. Raw vegetables are always touted as great for you. We we all get discouraged when we hit a weight loss plateau, and seem to hover at the same weight even though we're eating and exercising. Warmer weather is on the way and opportunities to get out and walk will be easier. Hugs, best wishes and stay positive, Mindy🐛🌈🦋 -
By Willow Farmer · Posted
Never seen that before. So good, thank you Jandi -
By Jackie C. · Posted
I got, "You're just confused," "It's the medication we gave you when you were little," and "You probably just have low T, it's hormonal." I'd say that the trick is to have data from a professional to back you up, but I got, "They're a member of a predatory trans-business pipeline out to take your money." Paraphrased. I don't speak crazy as fluently as I'd like. Before you find that discouraging, that was only half my parental units. Dad said, "I didn't realize you were so unhappy. I'm sorry and I want you to know that I'll still love you the same no matter what." Dad is getting cookies for his birthday. I don't talk to my mother anymore. Hugs! -
By Bri2020 · Posted
Very cute! I'm with Jackie, more lavender needed in my collection as well -
By Myles97 · Posted
Thank you @Jackie C. And @KathyLaurenfor sharing your timeline and experiences. I totally agree that is cis-dominated spaces us trans folks do feel the need to make ourselves seem confident and certain. I am worried myself that any lack of confidence may translate to my parents that I am “just going through a phase” or whatever they try to say when I come out. I have never had much confidence in general, but I am trying to not scare myself out of following what I know will make me happy. Thank y’all again for normalizing self doubt. -
By Willow Farmer · Posted
Enigma went away after that cup of tea. I switched to something a little something old and a bit more up beat. I like finding odd old songs I have pushed back and forgotten until my female brain has gone digging. What are good 60's 70's songs that are somewhat lost and hardly ever played? -
By Jayna · Posted
I checked in to my room and wasting time before my last laser treatment, hope to see someone tonight hanging out at the clubs. -
By KathyLauren · Posted
Self-doubt is very common. My impression from seeing lots of introductory posts over the years is that doubting yourself is more common than being 100% sure from the beginning. Like you say, though, it is okay. It doesn't mean that you are not trans. It just means you need to think about it some more. Nothing wrong with that. My self-doubt was sufficient to keep me from even thinking about being trans for 60 years. Any time the thought came up, I'd smack it down right quick. And yet here I am today. The fact that the thought kept coming up anyway was what got me through the doubt. Something I realized eventually was that, if I keep asking myself the same question over and over again ("Am I trans?"), it probably means that I keep coming up with the wrong answer. Once I switched my answer from "Hell, no!" to "Yes", I stopped asking the question. I don't recommend leaving the question hanging as long as I did. If resolution of the doubt is not coming, it would make sense to talk to a therapist about it. -
By Jackie C. · Posted
This is a very valid point. I mean if you're in the public eye, you want to appear as confident as you can be. Detractors will tear you to pieces over the smallest signs of weakness. I think self-doubt is more common than that though. Maybe not in people who were confident enough to post their stories on YouTube, but for the rest of us? Take me for example. There were signs. So many signs. There wasn't any education though so I just assumed that everybody felt like I did. A totally unscientific timeline might look like: 3 yrs. - Started turning underwear around to look like a girl from the front. (Spontaneous invention of tucking?) 4 yrs. - Playing in mother and grandmother's closet and trying things on. Quickly reprimanded and beaten. 5 yrs. - Preferred playing "house" with the girls to anything the boys were doing. Building toys were an acceptable substitute, coloring was good. Cars were right out. Teased by the boys. 8 yrs. - Realizing it was possible to hide dressing in mother's clothes considering she never accessed one of her dressers. The one conveniently kept in my bedroom. Score! 12 yrs. - "Oh no. My D&D character has inadvertently put on the belt of gender bending (a real item in 1st edition). Whatever will I do?" Wow. How do I keep finding those? What a crazy, random circumstance. 13 yrs. - Back to mom's clothes, but it's more for bra stuffing as puberty has started to kick in and I like wearing the stuffed bra when my parents aren't home. They aren't home a lot. No idea that trans is even a THING past the occasional "joke" in the men's magazines one of the neighborhood boys keeps bringing around. 15 yrs. - REALLY into girls. "Wouldn't it be amazing to be a girl?" Every boy must feel like that right? I mean girls are so amazing. Why would anybody want to be a boy? Have to keep it quiet though. You wouldn't want anybody to think you were gay. (Hey, it was 1985 in the Midwest.) 16 yrs. - Well of COURSE I play female characters in the arcade. They have smaller hit boxes. 19 yrs. - Well of COURSE I play female characters on the computer. Who WOULDN'T want to watch a girl butt for 100 hours? Paired with, "Of COURSE I play female characters in RPGs. Why wouldn't I make the girl of my dreams?" 25ish to 48 yrs. - Become a miserable bastard. Continue game behavior, but don't think anything of it. Everybody feels like this all the time, right? 30 yrs. - Discover your best friend since Junior High is bigender. 48 yrs. - Goes full femme while wife is out of town. Gender euphoria is like mainlining pure love. Egg cracks. Well damn. I'm transgender. I mean seriously, there's a ton of self-doubt in there (self-loathing too). I think a lot of it is rooted in lack of education. I mean I didn't know trans was even a thing until I was out of high school and it was always represented as some kind of terrible perversion. Lots of internalized transphobia from the society at the time (and one of my parents). It's basically why I talk to my therapist once a week instead of seeing my parents. Hugs! -
-
-
-
Upcoming Events
-
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now