Is it possible to outrun gender dysphoria

[picklesaregross321]

I have heard that it is impossible to outrun gender dysphoria. How true is that? There are parts of me that are skeptical, but then other parts of me that know how true that statement is. I've hid my feelings every few months or every few years, but the gender dysphoria always comes roaring back, usually stronger than before. I'm trying to suppress it again now because in my situation things wouldn't turn out great (no local family or friends that would support me, I'd lose my wife and kids, I'd have no where to go, and the only person I'd be able to talk to is going through her own divorce at the moment on the other side of the country). Is there a way to finally just get over my gender dysphoria, or am I just screwing over future me?

[KathyLauren]

I am sorry that you are in such a bind.

 

It is true that gender dysphoria never goes away.  Everyone is different, of course, but in general it gets stronger with time.

 

That doesn't lock you into any particular course of action.  I have know quite a few trans people who decided not to transition or even come out, but to carry on with their life as it was.  That decision undoubtedly came with costs, but they decided that, on balance, they were better of accepting those costs and preserving their relationships.

 

I don't think that "suppressing" your dysphoria is something that is likely to work in the long term, because it doesn't work that way, but it could be a perfectly viable solution to accept it for what it is and to put it on the back burner without acting on it.

[Jackie C.]

Well, the dysphoria is part of you so...

 

You can suppress it, for a while, but it always comes back stronger until you hit that wall where you just cannot take another day. Now that I'm out, I wish I'd done it sooner, but I've had a very pleasant experience. My area is reasonably accepting, I've made friends and only lost a single family member. I'm also not so much of an -censored-, which is nice from a more personal standpoint. You know your situation best though. I strongly advise having a plan for dealing with potential fallout (like making sure you have a job, a place to live, people won't be throwing rocks at your head*, etc...)

 

Hugs!

 

* I've never been to Utah.

[Maid In Bedlam]

I haven't posted anything in a while except for snippets. But I Want to say something about this.

 

Many say as above Gender dysphoria is always there. Partially yes this will be the case. It will never just leave you. It's almost inbuilt in your DNA. Particularly if you are shall we say for argument's sake, Born as one sex when your brain is crying out to be another. Doesn't matter how hard you try it is NEVER going to let up without a frontal lobotomy. even then I doubt if it would.

 

It is of my opinion that yes you can outrun it. But there is only one way to do this. That's to embrace it.

Speaking from experience. I spent much of my life knowing that my shell was not as the contents. I suppose you could say a Barbie encased in a GI Joe package.

But I got to a point when I just couldn't do this anymore. So I put a line under what was and resided myself to what I really could be.

 

Now, 7 + years later. I am one very happy and rounded person. Respected in my community and show all courtesies that you would expect a woman to be shown. In fact even after all these years every so often I need to wear a dress and want to be really girly. I wonder if that's still dysphoria telling me I'm not womanly enough?  Then Dysphoria bring it on as I get so much pleasure out of the occasional wearing of a dress and doing my nails a lovely shade of Red. Perhaps I beat it at its own game.

 

I am aware that not everyone was as lucky and had the ability and looks of the bat and was a good smaller size   etc to Pass., I use the word pass. But I find it quite derogatory as passing is more your getting away with something. But it will eat at you until you do something about it. Of course, there are those that do not want to just slip into society and never declare that they are or where trans. I have always wanted since the first time I ever wore a dress  perhaps at around 7 years old and relised this felt right was to just be accepted as one of the girls/women.

 

So to conclude. If you do not do anything about it then it is going to be there until the day they put you in the ground. But if you Channel it and as I did embrace it it can be more of a saviour than a demon.  No more am i that depressed little man i once was. I would love to say. Yes, it's so easy. But do not be deluded from the start of my transition until the end it was by no means a walk in the park. But its something some just need to do as they can't live in there GI Joe box anymore

[claire1000]

From my perspective you can't outrun gender dysphoria one way or another it is always there in one form or another. In my case I fought it to a tie for over 55 years from the time I was a child I knew something was wrong, and different. When my wife died 11 years ago it was a grief therapist who got me talking about myself and in what was to be a one hour session that ran well over 2 hours all the years of frustration came pouring out with tears flowing out the entire time. With the therapists help I was referred to a gender therapist and after quite a few hours of therapy I decided to transition, was it easy no I lost my sons but my daughters have been a godsend. So today I live as elderly lady still hoping that if some medical issues can be cleared up I may be able to have GRS but if not I am finally living as myself a somewhat passable ,happy lady.

[VickySGV]

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM; latest edition: DSM-5, publ. 2013) is a publication by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) for the classification of mental disorders using a common language and standard criteria puts Gender Dysphoria in a unique class of phenomena that are NOT Mental Disorders but are Mental Conditions that are improved by conscientious medical attention and education.  In the DSM, the words Consistent, Persistent and Insistent are the key traits of medically treatable GD.  The consistent and persistent elements are going to be in your life if GD is your TRUTH to varying degrees for years and years.  It is the insistent that people play around with and can sometimes SEEM to get ahead of .  IE: 9 years of infrequent Cross Dressing kept mine at bay in my 40's and 50's.  The consistent and persistent were there however and did not go anywhere.  I did hit a wall as the Insistent feature really kicked me around but I tried outrunning it with Alcohol and medication, which got me hospitalized for a week and then referred into therapy that got me the only way to curb the insistency, HRT.  With HRT helping that and as mentioned above embracing the GD, I was free in many ways and other than the meds dawdled a bit before going for Transition to full time as I calmed down.  I know what full transition does not do today, but I am content with the choices I made  and am living and do not regret them.  I will NEVER AGAIN urge another person who is not ready to begin Transition, but you can meet the train at a station and board it for a good ride, or you can meet it by standing in front of it away from the station and ______________! 

 

 

[Guest]

As others have already said I too don't believe it is possible to outrun gender dysphoria. As I once heard it said: "If you're trans, you're trans for life. It never goes away." I will mention one thing, though, from my own experience.

 

Gender dysphoria is something I've struggled with my entire life. (I'm 72 now.) I never transitioned.  Over the years I have done everything I've ever heard of closeted (MtF) transgender persons doing although, at this stage in my life, my living situation is such that I can no longer indulge in any of it. (I've also tried to eliminate myself from this level of reality twice.)

 

However in addition to struggling with gender dysphoria somehow, at an early age, I also developed proclivities that nowadays, I've come to realize, would place me within what has come to be referred to as the ABDL community. Somehow the two became inextricably intertwined. And what I'm finding is that, for whatever reason, I lately seem to be more under the sway of my ABDL proclivities than I do my transgender yearnings (not that I'm really doing a lot of ABDL stuff either. I'm blocked from indulging most of those proclivities as well.) There are, however, a very few AB-related things I can do. I shave all of my body hair daily (fortunately I was never a very hairy guy to begin with) plus I use baby lotion, baby powder & powder scented deodorant. (I'm not even completely certain what's behind this... if it's more transgender-driven or more ABDL-driven.)

 

But the point of all of this, I think, is that while gender dysphoria never goes away, gender dysphoria left unresolved can, it appears to me, perhaps morph into something else, or at least give way to some other tendencies that were there all along but to a lesser degree. That doesn't mean that the gender dysphoria goes away. Mine is still there every hour of every day. But at the same time another "compulsion" (for lack of a better word), my ABDL-related desires, has come to the fore & taken precedence in my day-to-day life. 

 

I don't know how clearly I was able to describe this. But hopefully it makes at least marginal sense. 

[ClarkDiesInside]

I cannot speak from experience, but I heard from a trans man that after he got some surgeries he no longer felt dysphoria. Maybe that's not possible for everybody though.

 

Sorry I didn't write much, I don't know what else to add.

[Jeanette West]

I crushed my dysphoria for 30-years, then I addressed it. It has been tough for me, but I feel better now I am transitioning. It is fully dependent on how you feel about yourself. Begin by seeing a specialist who can help you work your way through how you feel.