not feeling 'right' does anyone else experience this?

[jax]

okay, so i’m out as trans to my closest friends. it’s always mostly felt good when they use he/him, but something didn’t quite feel right when they today?? this might just be because j only came out recently and i’m not used to it. but it’s strange to me that something felt wrong, because i definitely don’t want them to use she/her, and i don’t mind they/ them but i don’t ever get euphoria from using they/them. so he/him should be the right choice, but for some reason it didn’t feel right when i talked tony friends today.

 

i also think it could be due to being perceived as female in day to day life. i guess it sometimes influences my mental perception of my own gender (i think that’s what comp-cis is).

 

i don’t always entirely feel how i expect ‘being a guy’ to feel like, but i know i WANT to be a guy. but i guess in reality you can’t exactly feel gender, or at least you can’t entirely identify it by going “do i feel like a guy” every 5 minutes.

 

idk i just wanted to know if anybody else has experienced this 

also sorry if there’s typos, i’m typing on my phone

[KathyLauren]

I can't relate to the experience of not feeling right, at least not since I transitioned.  (Like anyone here, I had lots of experience not feeling right prior to transitioning.)  But I do relate to the difficulty of "feeling" gender. 

 

Gender isn't a feeling, so no one feels it as a feeling.  You feel like you, and you will always feel like you no matter where transition may take you.  Expecting to feel a difference is a setup for confusion.

 

The best way I found to sort it out was to compare how I felt presenting and being perceived as male with presenting and being perceived as female.  The big difference was in my level of happiness.  Presenting as a male, I was never really happy.  There was always something missing, and I never fit in anywhere.  Presenting as a female, I learned what joy felt like for the first time.  I am more social and feel comfortable most places I go.

 

So, although I never felt male or female, it is pretty clear from these signs that female is the right presentation for me.  You might want to try a similar comparison, looking for signs and symptoms rather than a feeling of gender.

 

I wish you luck in sorting it out.  It isn't easy.

[SydneyAngel]

I dont know how long you lived as your birth gender but for me it can be over whelming. I i think i understand where you are coming from. I think you feel how you feel. It sounds like you are speculating how you should feel even though you never felt that way. I dont want to feel like a man even though i was born male I honestly dont know how a women physical feels because male hormones pretty much cause you to feel little so all my feelings where just thoughts. I would think i should feel like this or i should feel like that. Inj my opinion its just the nature of the beast of being born in the wrong body. I think for me i was afraid of my maleness because i didnt want people to see that. Lets be clear i want to be a girl its what i always wanted and felt but lets be fair i was born male and lived a male for a long time its become part of my life and i accept that because if i hide who i am im not being 100% true. If I got it wrong disregard everything i said