Pentagon Handbook Adds Confusion & Frustration for Trans Service Members
By
Carolyn Marie,
in Military Veterans and Active-Duty Service Members
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By Heather Shay · Posted
When do you know you've had enough surgery? -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
Relief (emotion) Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Relief_(emotion) Relief is a positive emotion experienced when something unpleasant, painful or distressing has not happened or has come to an end. -
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By April Marie · Posted
Good morning, everyone!! I was up early again - already on my third cup of coffee having walked/fed the dog and read the local paper. We have a birthday party for a friend to go to this afternoon but no real plans otherwise. I hope to be able to attend tonight's TGP Zoom session. It's been weeks since I've been able to participate with the illness/loss of our dog, two horrible colds in succession and our trip to chase the solar eclipse. Have a wonderful day and look for the goodness in it. -
By April Marie · Posted
I think we tend to be overly critical of our looks, whether we're trying to express ourselves as masculine, feminine or anywhere along the gender spectrum. For me, I use photos as a way to track my progress, to help me find my style and look and to help me find ways to improve myself in posture, looks, make-up, style...... I didn't really think about our FB avatar being public but then realized that when people search they do see it. Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife, therapist, priest and people here, my FB page remains "that guy." I have created a Bitmoji that is relatively androgynous moving slowly towards the feminine. Long gray hair, earrings, softer features...I'm transitioning it along with myself. :-) -
By April Marie · Posted
I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career. This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it. Thank you for sharing your story, Sally. -
By Sally Stone · Posted
Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot. To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity. At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone. I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A. And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either. Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side. However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression. During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness. I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could. Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism. I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive. Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic. I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate. I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew. Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career. Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom. About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving. It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party. I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl. After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity. Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic. Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume. But that didn’t appeal to me at all. I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could. To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party. In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes. Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did. But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called. Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices. Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it. And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring. I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia. I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group). I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta. I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined. Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down. The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star. The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time. It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom. I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta). Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several. One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening. When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers. I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend. During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding. Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile. It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there. First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen. On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar. In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception. Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel. Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times). My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition. I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out. I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety. It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another. I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression. My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings. Hugs, Sally -
By Sally Stone · Posted
Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening. Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side. And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7 The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year. But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits. Carolyn Marie -
By missyjo · Posted
darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit enjoy missy
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