Getting over the shock of separation

[Billy]

And now it happened. My wife suggested today that we split up. I am still in shock. 

She said me becoming more male ist nothing the is attracted to, it also did not help that I went into depression once I realized I was trans, she cannot take the puberty like coming out phase any more and she wants to be happy again. 

It makes me so sad to see my little family breaking up. 

We will take turns leaving the house so each of us will be with the kids alone. 

All the sudden, I feel like my transness has left me. I feel more free, but I cannot feel my transness.. Must be the shock.  Not that I did not see it coming somehow but its different when it is real. 

Now I will have transition alone with two kids. 

Comfort and hope needed ?

[Emily michelle]

I’m very sorry to hear that Billy. I could only imagine how hard that was to hear. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me. I thought for sure my wife would have left when I came out. That is part of the reason I put off coming out until I couldn’t and had a break down. Things will get better stay strong.

[DonkeySocks]

So sorry to hear that, Billy. One step at a time. Right now you are in survival mode and your gender awareness is in the back of your mind, it will come back when you get firmer footing. I really hope you are okay.

[Gabriel]

That's hard @Billy and I guess it adds to an already emotional bumpy landscape. I also divorced when my kids were small, and that certainly the case for me. As @DonkeySocks says, you are in survival mode now, with a ton on your table having to cope with splitting up and yet needed to be there for the kids. Your trans-ness and your journey won't disappear. You will always be who you are.

 

Take time to feel and honor every emotion you feel when you are alone, so they won't overwhelm you so much when you are with the kids. And also cut yourself some slak about being perfect for them. I'm projecting here because you haven't said anything about this, but I wish someone would have told me that ten years ago.

 

And set time aside to take care of yourself.

 

This is not yet the right time for this but the truth is that if the relationship didn't work, it is way better that it ends. This frees both of you to find your happiness.

 

[KayC]

I'm so sorry to hear about this @Billy.  I know it must be shock that has affected your emotions.  In these situations its easy for depression to set in, so its important you take care of yourself and seek therapy if you can.

Also realize, in the end, this is YOUR journey.  Its unfortunate your partner does not want to join in that journey with you, but that's her choice. 

Deep breaths❣️

[Billy]

Thank you all! 

I am so afraid not to have enough mental strength for my kids. And my transition. 

I just cannot stop crying. 

And I did not do anything, I am just trans. It's just not fair.