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By Delcina B · Posted
Myles, Great topic! Self doubt definitely, preceded by years of denial. I'm at the point where I need to explain it to my wife; I'm not exactly sure how she will take it. But I realize this much, I am a happier person & kinder to others when I'm my femme me. I try not to rush things, as long as I relax it seems to naturally evolve as it's supposed to. Hugs, Delcina -
By Jackie C. · Posted
I happen to know that the number one authority on steam engines in the United States, if not the world is a trans professor. A friend of mine counts her among their friends (they're all steam-engine enthusiasts together). I don't remember where she teaches though. I just remember that it's somewhere fancy. Hugs! -
By Charlize · Posted
As trans person I felt terribly alone for years. Much of that was because I was hiding from the world. As an alcoholic people would say I was killing myself.......well da, I knew and embraced that reality. I have been blessed in finding sobriety with others like myself. Their support whether virtual or in person has been so helpful. We were able to get sober together. This site is a virtual platform for knowing others and making friends. I have certainly made some deep friendships here and while I have been blessed to hug several members there are many who I’m close to despite distance and isolation. We are here for you, just as I hope you are here for us. It may not have the fast excitement of a club but in my experience that doesn’t last much past the night. Remember that you are not alone! Big hugs, Charlize -
By Jackie C. · Posted
Telling parents was the (second) hardest one for me. My friends were all, "Yup. That makes sense." The only question I got was, "What do you want us to call you?" My spouse was the hardest. The minute or so between when I told her and her response after she thought about it was the longest hundred years of my life. At the end though, she was more, "Eh, these things happen. I love you no matter what you look like. Besides, I like breasts." I dragged my feet for longer with my folks. It was 3-4 months later when I came out to my mother during a session where I was showing her cool things she could do with her computer. I was seeing my endo for the first time either that week or the week after. She responded poorly. Her body language immediately closed up and was all, "Well, your doctor can straighten this out." My doctor did straighten things out, but not the way she liked. 😉 Now she's anti-doctor. The only true doctors who know what they're talking about are apparently veterinarians now (she's a vet). She's rejected the entire medical profession and all psychological fields because they're either wrong, stupid, predatory or some combination of all three. Like I said, the crazy is strong with her. That reaction made me put off telling my dad until after Christmas. I didn't want any holiday drama to make things any more tense than they were already going to be. I came out by e-mail. If my mother was so against me I was afraid that dad would do something violent. Of course dad was lovely, so I was worrying over nothing. My advice to you would be to develop a plan. Start with the parent you think is going to be most supportive. Don't make the same mistake I did and go with the homophobic one. One-on-one time is important. The power dynamic is already skewed in their favor, you don't need them to outnumber you. Sit them down and say your piece. Provide documentation if available. For example; "I've been to this psychologist and they gave me a diagnosis of gender dysphoria." Slap down a copy of your letter of recommendation. Then answer questions because they'll probably have questions. Once the first parent is done, give yourself a break and then contact the other parent. I've been told that other people's parents talk to each other and it's better if they hear it from you than their spouse. Repeat the exercise. Answer their questions, then let them discuss amongst themselves. Maybe they'll be onboard, maybe they won't and maybe they'll be onboard with conditions. No matter how it works out, you have discharged your duty and the event is fading in the rear-view mirror as you move forward. Hugs! -
By Sarahnr1 · Posted
belive me i know its a living pain in the ..... It has managed to put my life on hols d as well JUST when i finaly began to get somewhere ( found a LOVELY partner and well we are on hold until things calm down over here HOPFULLY tho were able to finaly meet this spring ) I understand its hard (despite all the garbage you most likely read about Sweden we are as close to total lock down as can be right now and we have had restrictions ever since ) Yeah we have that BS over here as well (only its with the Astra vaccine They are working on it tho and as more adults have takend the vaccine will be shielded by those that have takend it . Just read today that youre predident have declared that its expected thet the majority of US citizens WILL be vaccinated by June so its not that there isent a light in this tunnel dear (infact same goal is over here by Midsummer PROVIDING we get our doses alredy contracted ) BUT as i said just because the vaccin is in you DONT mean youre immune to this and sadly i would say we need to accept that there will be some restrictions needed in one form or level or another for a the rest of this year (This DONT mean full lock down and restrictions will be lowerd im shore come summer as more and more have been vaccinated. And you should also know that US have WAY faster rate and vaccine then we have over here in EU So its most definetly on in US to get better my friend. The problem is if restrictions are removed or lowerd to fast or to much you risk getting hit again (we are actually now in wave 3 ) And we havent lowerd only increased as the sitution have changed. So what we all need to try is to have some patince my friend and remember one year ago NOONE belived we would have vaccines done alredy. And belive me i agree its frustrating as ..... waiting for the darn vaccine and all the flipping restrictions messing up the entire world so i understand youre frustration BUT go as far as suicide due to it NA thats just stupid my friend. & you know as well as i do that you actually dont want to either. HANG in there it WILL get better my friend THAT i can guarantee you and its not that far of either -
By Myles97 · Posted
I personally feel my self-doubt through the roof right now. Thoughts about my gender are literally consuming me. I think it’s because I have been trying to come out to my parents the last three days and can’t work up the nerve to do it. It’s making me so angry at myself. It’s starting to get to be a bit too much. I thought telling a friend would ease a bit of the burden but it didn’t. I still feel overwhelming dread for having to tell my parents and it has me consumed with self doubt. I guess my brains way of trying to convince me to just stay in the closet. -
By Jackie C. · Posted
In my personal experience, when a tech realizes she's wearing a skirt and is therefore unable to modestly, for example, crawl under desks to attend to cables, she grabs a male co-worker and makes him do it. This method probably won't work for you in the field, so you'll need to pack a male co-worker (or at least someone wearing pants) in your truck for deployment as needed. I suppose you could also wear leggings, boy-shorts or other appropriate garments under your skirt. That would mean you vacuum-packed a co-worker for nothing though. Hugs! -
By ElizabethStar · Posted
I don't know, so far it hasn't happened. I have a pair of jeans in my trunk just in case but I haven't worn them in a couple years. -
By Myles97 · Posted
@VickySGV and @Carolyn Marie thank you both for sharing that with me. That makes me feel a lot better. I’m from the south and I don’t see a lot of out trans professors around here. I totally understand why, but it had me so worried that maybe there weren’t any. Thanks for giving me hope!!! I definitely want to move either up north or to California after graduation. -
By Transgirlkatie · Posted
This things has been going on for a year now, I can't stand social distancing and wearing masks past the summer. And what I'm concerned about is that too many people will refuse the vaccine, sadly in the USA theres a bunch of anti vaxxers, and then there's the issue of we don't have a vaccine for kids yet, and it might take till next year to get one. And we can't vaccinate that many till we can vaccinate kids because they're 22 percent of the population -
By Willow · Posted
Hi, catching up here, well skinning mostly. Y’all been pretty prolific writers. I don’t have my pilots license, I started that with my son as my instructor. He is a commercial airline pilot with more ratings than I can keep up with. He paid a lot of his way through Embry Riddle by instructing other students. We had to stop when 911 hit. The school he taught at was too close to Dulles and was in the exclusion zone. I have my motorcycle endorsement. I used to ride a Harley Ultra Classic. But it became unsafe for me to continue riding it after I tore up my shoulder. Some days I miss riding but mostly not. @KymmieL I hope not being able to get to Spokane for that interview didn’t set you back. I've been doing outdoor spring clean up now that we have a break in the rain. The rivers are finally receding. We had some flooding at the marina, four to eight inches of water covered the road in. Everything here is tidal so now it just floods at high tide. Hopefully that will be gone by Monday. I continue to add people to my coming out. So far so good. until next time Willow -
By Bri2020 · Posted
I feel ya sister. everywhere I turned the last few days I felt attacked. Damn algorithms figured out I'm trans/LGBT and have filled my news feeds with all the negative news. I know there's positive movement happening for us but it gets so drowned out by the hate. I had to call in someone to take over for me at work because I spiraled down so bad. Continuing the other topics of flying and bikes, I gave up my bike a few years back when it just became too painful to ride with my back issues. I hope someday to go get my single engine license someday. I miss flying from my Army days. I was a Huey crewchief back then and 99% of the time a passenger but occasionally got some stick time on maintance check out flights by some less than by the books pilots . They're justification was I should know the basics in case they were shot. Never could hover but I got to the point where I think I could bring her back and land if I had to. -
By Jamie68 · Posted
I'm a retired sheet metal worker of 40+ years. A skirt just wouldn't do. What do you do when you have to climb up a ladder? -
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By LusciousTheLock · Posted
Yep, the news gets you like that. I try not to read anything regarding LGBT+ anymore, as its always negative. -
By LusciousTheLock · Posted
This is a great thread. My self doubt came from the fact that I had tried so hard to be a cis male. What a great bloke I was. Bought my first house at 24, married at 25, four children. Worked hard, played hard. Petrol-head and sex addict. We even made adult movies in my 20's! It was all lies, and I was hiding from the truth. The self doubt was always am I mad? What happens when someone finds out? later it became am I too old to do something about it? I can pretty much mirror Jackie C's timeline. Thank god World of Warcraft had bald female orcs!
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