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Exhaustion in my soul


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Does anyone else ever get the feeling that the world is set up to work against you? I know. That's a big, dramatic, sweeping statement. Honestly, being both queer and trans has been super draining on me, and I live in the stereotypical, small town, gay-is-controversial, WAP-is-controversial type a

setup. It just makes me so tired in my soul, and my girlfriend's about the only one I can really talk to about it. I just wonder how y'all persevere, cause it feels like I've been running a marathon. Even peopIe who seem like friends can drop mildly transphobic comments. I don't like being stuck in self-pity, but I need to know how y'all cope, honestly. I've been trying to find a local community, but friends don't come by easy for me. I'm more of the quiet type. Anyways, that's my complaint of the night 😅 before I get some rest.

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Carolyn Marie

Hi, Drake.  Hey, I completely understand how you're feeling right now.  No matter where we live (and I'm from the suburbs), we all have those times when it all feels way too hard and too stressful, and solutions to problems seem very far away.  Those times are almost always short lived, and if you persevere you will make it through, perhaps in ways you never even considered.


Being able to cope depends a lot, I've found, on maintaining a positive attitude and knowing that, if some people turn out to be not such good friends, other true friends may be just around the next corner, or the next place you visit, or the next online portal.  I've lost friends, both cis and trans, and its hard when it happens.  But the pain lessens pretty quick.  I haven't made many close friends, but I have a lot of acquaintances.  I treasure the couple of true friends that have stuck with me.  It isn't how many you have, its deeper than that.


I wish better days ahead for you, hon.




Carolyn Marie

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Hi Drake!  nice to meet you, and Welcome!

COMMUNITY is so important.  I am not able to come Out yet, so I am very grateful for the Community we have here in this Forum.  I hope you can find the same here for now.
I have concerns too about eventually being able to make personal connections, but I am confident that over time those too will start to naturally occur. 


Deep breaths ... one step at a time

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Welcome Drake.  Finding this site was a lifesaver for me.  As an addict in recovery i found that a problem shared is a problem halved.  Simply knowing others understood what a was going through, because they were going through or had gone through the same things,  has been so comforting.  You are amongst friends even though we might be virtual we are here!





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I don't know as I have anything useful to share. But I'll tell you how I persevere. I'm an old man who has struggled (in secret) with his gender identity his whole life. And in addition I've had proclivities that would, nowadays, place me within the ABDL community. I have no one I can talk to about my situation (almost never have had.) I once briefly saw a gender therapist. And having the opportunity to talk about things I had kept deeply hidden literally for decades was immensely comforting. Being on websites such as Trans Pulse is also helpful for me although I never feel as though I really fit in anywhere. So that's kind-of a "mixed bag" so to speak. 


The other thing that has become something of a grounding technique for me though is that I spend an inordinate amount of time each day on personal grooming... much more than any "normal" man would... especially old geezers such as myself. (I'll spare you the details... LOL!) I've actually tried giving this process up a couple of times, but found I simply couldn't tolerate the result. I love the solitude everything I do affords me. And I adore the outcome. I've actually tried giving the process up a couple of times. But I soon found I couldn't tolerate it. Now I just know it's just something I want to do / have to do. And it helps. 

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