Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

First appointment and impatience


Synthara

Recommended Posts

Hey,

 

i had my first appointment with a therapist last friday, yay :). The stupdid thing here is, that i now have to wait until January 22nd for the next one. It is quite hard here to get a place in therapy. Covid just made it even harder than before. In my country you got three sessions to set an indication and can then start therapy if your healthcare provider accepts. 

The first session was quite good, we could take and time flew. He is a well known Gendertherapist, that's why i chose him. But i also have a lot more issues than that and we talked just 5 min about gender. I'm a bit anxious to not get enough space for this topic, because it is so important to me right now. The impatience is killing me. How do you deal with that? I want to move forward and finally become my true self. I know, one step after another and take it slowly, but how exactly deal with it?

 

Best, 

Synthara

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Impatience is a real problem once we get on the right track. I mean we finally started making progress. We want results YESTERDAY!

 

Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. You've got to navigate the labyrinth and it's designed to slow us down and keep us from making any rash decisions. The idea is to keep any of us from turning into our preferred gender on a weekend bender or something. Then you can start on actual treatment. Which isn't any faster (unless you've got WAY better drugs in Germany than we do in the states). There isn't an easy fix. This is a slow process. The best you can do is meditate on the progress you are making and count the days until you can take your next step.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Oh, this has brought me back to the beginning again.

Wanting transition NOW ! I've lost count of my therapy sessions but it can't be that many (mental arithmetic, 5 months, 1 a month, maybe 5 or 6 ?
). Anyhow where was I, oh yeah it takes time and someone much wiser that I said to use the time to work on being a better female version of you. Since transition takes 3, 6 or more years to become who you are .. and she asked the question are we really ever done transitioning ?

Meditation will help calm and focus, activity will make time fly afterall the journey is what shapes us not the destination.

 

Hugs

Robin

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Robin.C said:

use the time to work on being a better female version of you. Since transition takes 3, 6 or more years to become who you are .. and she asked the question are we really ever done transitioning ?

Yup, it is a marathon not a sprint. You will be surprised what you can do to help yourself.  Most of my, "what if I'm not trans but it's actually just...." questions were answered between my phone call to the GIC and actually getting my initial appointment 8 months later. It was another 6-8 months before I actually spoke to a gender counsellor. 

List yout doubts or worries or personal issues and start working on them now, along with all of those times when you felt pressure to conform to your gender role or someone noticed you had stepped outside of it. It will make it faster when you speak to your therapist and they see you have already looked at these things and aren't just trying to skim past them which will not help you in the long run anyway.

Link to comment

Hi @Synthara
I know exactly how you feel.  My first therapy session was wonderful and liberating, then had to wait weeks for the next one do to some Covid restrictions.  But, it was worth it (and now more regular visits).
I try to use my hobbies to keep me busy between sessions .. feels like being productive helps the time go by faster ... and also finding any small thing I can do to feel like I am making progress towards transition (like shopping for something new to wear?)

 

Wishing you the best in your future sessions and personal progress❣️

Link to comment

@Jackie C. yea meditation did a good thing in the past fighting depression. I will try it again.

 

@KayC work and the newborn keeping me busy, but my thoughts are always going back to transitioning. Have appointments for laser hair removal but they are closed this month (pandemic) and it looks like they won't open till january/february ?.

Shopping is really great, planing outfits, watching make-up tutorials and try something new every day. (also learning to walk in high heels is really fun!) It's prgress after all :) . From time to time the beautiful clothes increase my disphoria however.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 76 Guests (See full list)

    • Hannah Renee
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,944
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...