Informed consent.

[Red_Lauren.]

I didn't know that was a thing till recently. I found two places local. That offer it, and when I mean local. Less then a hour away. 

 

One is a planned parent hood, and the other is a typical Dr's clinic. That is part of the local hospital system. Who all ready have my medical records. 

 

I fully understand what it is, and at this point in my life. I feel like I would be wasting my time, and money. Just to see a head shrinker, so they can confirm some thing. I have known my whole life. 

 

Have any of you guys here done it? I guess I don't have really any questions. Just wondering about it. 

 

 

[MirandaB]

I did some therapy to get the paper for hormone therapy, but also so I could tell people I had my self diagnosis confirmed by a professional, even though I had no real doubts. I'd say make sure you ask both choices how quickly you can get it if that's your only goal. 

[Jackie C.]

Wanted to. Unfortunately, our planned parenthood clinic doesn't offer the service. Because of defunding, not all of them do.

 

Hugs!

[Elizabeth Star]

I live in Illinois. It's that way here. I did see my therapist for over a month before I decided.

[KayC]

I don't have the opportunity right now to start HRT, but I started seeing a therapist for ... therapy. 

 

One of the best things I have ever done for myself, and we are looking under rocks that I had not considered before.
Therapy does not just have to be just for gender/transition needs, but also to look at ourselves deep down as a whole person. 

[Heather Shay]

I did not need therapist approval for HRT. I talked to my family doctor and found out about a wonderful LGBTQ+ health care network. They aligned me with a NP and had a consult and when I had baseline blood tests and shared records from my doctor I started HRT and have 3 month checks. It is so important to be monitored. 5 years ago I self Grated with gray market E and Spiro and it did cause prostate issues that took years to correct after biopsies and a bunch of tests and treatments. Having your doctor and if your doctor isn't conversant in HRT (as my doctor wasnt) he was willing to share medical info so I can have a SAFE and monitored transition. I don't know how things are in different states or countries but I lucked out and found a therapist who specializes in gender identity and she recommended Equitas in our state and they have been amazing.

[Charlize]

I was annoyed that i was required to have therapy and a letter from my therapist before HRT.  It had been recommended here and i listened.  Today i'm glad i did.  I learned a great deal and over time when the inevitable doubts come up i remember events and understanding i found in therapy and know it was time and money well spent.  There have always been some who regret transition.  HRT creates permanent differences.

We are all different, with different paths but i am glad that i followed the recommendations of those who guided me to therapy.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Heather Shay]

I agree with @Charlize about therapy. Finding a warm and understanding therapist is vital. HRT without therapy is not a wise decision. I went through therapy with several therapist over the years who treated depression and panic attacks but didn't treat gender dysphoria. Finding someone who does understand GD is the most important thing I have done besides finding this forum with so many others who have a commonality. we are all different with different needs but common goals and it is so reassuring to have the ladies and gents here to lend an unconditional ear and give advice from experience.

[Lee H]

10 hours ago, Red_Lauren. said:

I feel like I would be wasting my time, and money. Just to see a head shrinker, so they can confirm some thing. I have known my whole life. 

 

Have any of you guys here done it? I guess I don't have really any questions. Just wondering about it.

I'm getting HRT through the VA, and part of the therapy is consultation with a Gender Therapist. [It's voluntary.] If it weren't free, I doubt I would be able/willing even to afford the hormones, much less therapy of any kind. I'm just starting on Estradiol -- 2 months -- but so far I'm finding the physical changes gratifying and the emotional exploration interesting with my GT. Here's a little of what it's like for me, so far:

 

For example, she asked me, "To you, what does being a woman mean?" Hm. Seems like a simple question, but it is not. I'm trying not to toss off a superficial response; I've been trying to plumb the depths to find my genuine answer for over 2 weeks now, and I still am.

 

My gender dysphoria was not taking me to the brink of self-destruction, as it does with some of us. It's not that I could not stand being in my male persona -- it was my lifelong attraction toward the feminine that I wanted to acknowledge openly and express.

 

My take so far is that I shouldn't even bother trying to "define" any endpoint to this journey. Any decision I were to make now about "how far will I go?" will become obsolete then because HRT brings on emotional changes. How can I discern the mind I will have then with the mind I've got now? So I'm going one day at a time, and just trying to be in the present.

 

I was concerned about this, but my GT explained that "gender" truly is not binary, either all male or all female -- it's a spectrum, and all of us lie somewhere between the poles. We are free to find the place we fit. For me, "self-acceptance" has always been an illusive quest; even moreso now that I'm moving along that spectrum with HRT. I'm understanding that I can find it anywhere I want to be along the spectrum. So, my thinking has evolved about transition. Now I am thinking that my goal is to go from the male toward the female as far as I want. I'll know it when I see/feel it.

 

I've got another GT appt. in about an hour, so we'll see what happens next. As I said, it's a surprisingly illusive question.... and of course, YMMV.

 

~~Here's a "for whatever that's worth" hug, from Lee~~

 

 

 

 

[Jani]

18 hours ago, Red_Lauren. said:

I fully understand what it is, and at this point in my life. I feel like I would be wasting my time, and money. Just to see a head shrinker, so they can confirm some thing. I have known my whole life. 

I read your post earlier but have come back to talk about these lines.  I don't think the counselor is there to really confirm something we most likely know but to set the stage to help us understand how to deal with it productively.  I knew I was afflicted with something (dysphoria) for years but not how to respond to it.  This is what my therapist helped me with.  I don't think you will be wasting your time, or theirs.  Use the appointments to gain as much benefit as you can.  

[Mmindy]

8 hours ago, Lee H said:

My take so far is that I shouldn't even bother trying to "define" any endpoint to this journey. Any decision I were to make now about "how far will I go?" will become obsolete then because HRT brings on emotional changes. How can I discern the mind I will have then with the mind I've got now? So I'm going one day at a time, and just trying to be in the present.

@Lee HThis exactly what I was trying to explain to my wife when I first came out to here. I also tried to explain a sliding scale between Male and Female but she refused it and believes it's a Heads or Tails coin. One or the other. Indiana is an Informed Consent State. I'm of the mindset that Gender Therapy isn't a waste of time or money, even if it only confirms what I always have known.

 

Hugs for everyone,

 

Mindy???

[Lee H]

Hi Mmindy

You said,

18 hours ago, Mmindy said:

I also tried to explain a sliding scale between Male and Female but she refused it and believes it's a Heads or Tails coin. One or the other.

I think my GT would say something like, "There is no "wrong" place for anyone to be on the spectrum between male and female -- however, very few of us are all one or all the other." And she did say something like, "The doctor delivers the baby, takes a quick look and says, 'It's a ____.' But external genitalia do not necessarily define gender. However, we're forced into society's gender expectations based only on that quick look."

 

Also, throughout history and still today, there are very advanced cultures which recognize and respect more than two genders. The Greeks and Romans. Parts of India still. Gender expectations are social constructs. Gender variations are nature's constructs.

 

One of the early benefits of GT for me is learning that the whole point is self-acceptance, irrespective of how "far" I go, or where I stop. It's not about fitting someone else's definition of "gender transition." It's all about finding our own definition.   

 

Good luck with your quest.

 

~~A hug from Lee~~

[Red_Lauren.]

I've been looking for a therapist for the longest time local, and for some reason. We never had any even up to 5 years ago. Which is kinda surprising, as dont live in the middle of no where. About 70,000 people including the suburbs live in this area. 

 

Honestly this is why I think a therapist is a waste of my time. Over the last 5 years. I've been working, and living as a woman on and off. Most of it as a woman all ready. Compared to when I was in my 20s, and didn't really know where I fit in. I also saw a few therapists when I was younger. I wanted them to work, but it never did. 

[Lee H]

Hi Red? Lauren? Red_Lauren?

 

7 hours ago, Red_Lauren. said:

I've been looking for a therapist for the longest time local, and for some reason. We never had any even up to 5 years ago.

I think my GT is helping me figure out ideas and actions that will help me move toward becoming more authentically the person I want to be, and comfortable with her. So far, it feels very genuine to me. Eg, Helping me identify and actually think about the stuff I usually just ice over and mush on. I don't think it will be a circular self-fulfilling prophecy, as in "I went to counseling to find out I need to go to counseling." That was my question at first, but so far, so good.

 

I think there is an app. on this site with GT referrals by locale. If not here, there are some on Google.

 

I'm not advocating that you seek gender therapist counseling. Whatever works, works. The VA offers me this service as part of LGBTQ Vets medical coverage. If it were out of pocket, I couldn't afford it, but then I'm trying to live on Social Security. I can't afford anything anyway....[I do see great deals on bras on ebay, however.]

 

~~With a hug, from Lee~~

[Masonjar191]

My clinic (Chase Brexton, they have 5 locations around the Baltimore Metro area) is Informed Consent and I've had a good experience. I called them up, had my intake a week later via telehealth, then 3 weeks after went to the closest clinic (40 minutes away) to sign the consent form and to go over everything and to have blood drawn, and now, 2 weeks later, I am starting T on Wednesday! It's a little different starting during a pandemic, but it just means having my temperature taken upon entrance, sitting 6 feet apart in the waiting room, and wearing a mask. And if that is all that separates me from feeling good in my body, then I'll take it. 

[Ivy]

I first started at a Planned Parenthood clinic.  They were nice people, but because of my age, wouldn't prescribe estrogen.  Later I found out that I could goto the VA and that's were I am now.  I did have to talk to a psychologist but she was nice, and referred me for HRT without any trouble.

I was of course warned about the potential problems (stroke etc.) but I am getting estradiol.

 

One warning though.  When I was first given spiro at PP, it was 3 months before follow up labs.  My sodium level had dropped dangerously.  So following up with labs is important.

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Jandi said:

 I did have to talk to a psychologist but she was nice

It was easy to just open up to her - maybe because she was not somebody that I had an outside relationship with.  I never felt that it was "gate keeping" 

 

Just wanted to add this

[Red_Lauren.]

10 hours ago, Masonjar191 said:

My clinic (Chase Brexton, they have 5 locations around the Baltimore Metro area) is Informed Consent and I've had a good experience. I called them up, had my intake a week later via telehealth, then 3 weeks after went to the closest clinic (40 minutes away) to sign the consent form and to go over everything and to have blood drawn, and now, 2 weeks later, I am starting T on Wednesday! It's a little different starting during a pandemic, but it just means having my temperature taken upon entrance, sitting 6 feet apart in the waiting room, and wearing a mask. And if that is all that separates me from feeling good in my body, then I'll take it. 

I have to call the dr tomrrow, and set up a time to see them. I would really like to start after the new year.