Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

call me suzy


suzy

Recommended Posts

I am on a nontraditional path. I have pages and pages of conversations. With myself, with others on fetlife, grindr and plain old text messages.

 

What I am I? I started off AMAB. I have tried to find labels that work for me. Every label is imperfect or incomplete.

 

I love to wear women's clothing because I like the look. I hated that my body shape didn't make the mirror image of myself look as good as I thought I should. I thought that this made me a crossdresser.

 

I thought that I was bisexual because I enjoy playing with people regardless of gender.

 

I thought I was transgender (MtF).

 

Each label was only a 80% match. The dictionary definition always listed out things that was not me.

 

*** Section about Phytoestrogens removed. It's a violation of Rule #14. We don't talk about dosages and we don't condone herbals or other OTC products here. They're dangerous to take without a doctor's supervision and results vary wildly. ***

 

Now I look at some pictures from some angles and I want more.

 

I am blessed with a loving wife. She accepts a great deal and we seem to be successfully maintaining a loving sex-positive marriage. My kids accept me.

 

So why am I here? There are very few trans people I know. Cis people may be kind and understanding but they don't have similar interactions with their sexual identity. They know their answers in ways that I don't relate to and they don't relate to my ambiguous sexuality.

 

I suppose I could label myself a genderfluid. I stopped worrying about labels though.

 

I like smart imaginative sensitive play partners who can accept that I can't give them my set of labels.

Edited by Jackie C.
Section about herbal estrogen removed
Link to post
  • Forum Moderator

Hey @suzy, welcome to Transpulse!

 

You're absolutely right that labels don't matter. They're for other people. You're a Suzy and that's all that really matters.

 

So yeah, please feel free to post ask questions and join the discussion as the mood strikes you!

 

Hugs!

Link to post
  • Admin
Carolyn Marie

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Suzy.  I'm glad you have support among your family; that's an uncommon occurrence.  Please do look around the forums, contribute where you wish to, ask questions, and we'll be here to help with support and to answer those questions.

 

You also might want to have a look at the Community Rules.  Thanks.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, suzy said:

I am on a nontraditional path.

I read this and I had to grin because most of us here are on a “nontraditional” path...thus the need to reach out to others like ourselves. I wouldn’t try to fit into some preconceived label. That’s what society does to anyone who differs too much from the current norm. We know from our own lifetime of experiences that there are rarely, if ever, two of us that have the same needs, desires, impulses, and motives. Labels are only a vague interpretation of several of these combined traits. You certainly shouldn’t feel any uneasiness in not finding a common one that fits you.

 

5 hours ago, suzy said:

Each label was only a 80% match. The dictionary definition always listed out things that was not me.

Hey 80% is not too bad. If you asked a few people who know you really well, what would they say? Would they think the labels were closer than 90% or something completely different. Well, it’s sort a futile question because it only matters what you think. I’ve never been asked by someone, “How bi are you ?” Who knows...I might try to confuse them by telling them I’m 75% bi with a side of monogamy. Ok, I’ve definitely had too much coffee today but my point (if there is one here) is that ‘just be who you are’ and don’t worry about where you fit within a label. I can tell you without a doubt, you will fit well with our little clan here. So look around and see what’s happening. Glad you found us!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

 

 

Link to post

Hi Suzy!  nice to meet you, and Welcome!

16 hours ago, suzy said:

I have tried to find labels that work for me. Every label is imperfect or incomplete.

I don't like labels either.  I lived my whole life confined to being AMAB .. and so I hesitate to conform to only one new label.  I even had a hard time deciding what to "label" myself as for this Forum profile, but I settled (as it appears you have) on Transfeminine.  Seemed closest.
My 3d gender therapy sessions (just a few months ago) I fully came to terms with myself, and the biggest discovery was not the "label" but Self-Acceptance.  I know who I am now (the what I am is not as important).

Happy you found yourself Here, Suzy❣️  This Forum IS a Community of unique humans, but on similar journeys.  Hope you feel you can share more, and also gain something from the experiences of others.

 

Deep breaths ... one step at a time
 

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Suzy.  When i see non traditional i feel normal is a good synonym.  Both my washing machine and dryer have a normal setting.  I also seemed to have missed that.  At times i call myself Abby Normal.  I've grown to accept that.  Being here has helped me find and enjoy the person i am without the judgment and fear that was so much a part of me.

Glad you've joined us.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Suzy,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

Link to post

@suzy Welcome. You are you. No labels necessary. Accepting you for who you are is all that is important and feeling good about you is what is necessary to be happy. 

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   13 Members, 0 Anonymous, 62 Guests (See full list)

    • Drayse
    • CD Rachel
    • Fynn
    • Jackie C.
    • Confused1
    • Gabriel
    • IamMitch
    • claire1000
    • Mx.Drago
    • QuestioningAmber
    • Ann W
    • Petra Jane
    • Jani
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      72,986
    • Total Posts
      669,901
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      7,961
    • Most Online
      8,356

    PaulaBear
    Newest Member
    PaulaBear
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alisande
      Alisande
      (31 years old)
    2. Claire4now
      Claire4now
      (62 years old)
    3. Sammy Red
      Sammy Red
      (27 years old)
    4. WorldMeetCaden
      WorldMeetCaden
      (36 years old)
  • Posts

    • Jackie C.
      I enjoy her personality and sense of humor, but I also realize that she's not everyone's cup of tea. I also learned from some friends that she's six-feet tall. That's relevant because of how she fits into her bathtub. Now I want it even more.   I'm so having a sad, inadequate soak once I finish lunch and put the laundry in the drier.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      I DID say I was bad at it. I think it's one of the harder lessons for us to learn because we spend so much time self-loathing with certain elements of society piling on. I know approximately zero trans-people who don't or didn't have self-esteem problems. I'm getting better though. It's a frequent topic during my therapy sessions.   I'm sorry about your drugs too. The USPS is currently more boned than usual due to malicious destruction prior to the election (and sabotage before that from certain forces that want to privatize it). Hopefully, your drugs will come home soon.   As for your wife. I'm not surprised. I'm not even disappointed at this point. She can't sink any lower. She cannot escape her essential nature. That seems to be mental and emotional abuse for her spouse. I will ask though: Can you set her up with her own profile on the laptop for Zoom? Just lock everything she doesn't need down and keep it restricted to your account. Your documents and e-mail are definitely things she doesn't need. If you don't know how to do it yourself, ask around at work. I think everybody has at least one "tech-savvy" friend. Usually it's me, but I'm on the other side of the country so...   Hugs!
    • Bri2020
      That's my go to line nowadays. hahaha
    • Bri2020
      Thank you Susan. 😊  I do have to dress nice though, these pics are from my spa/massage clinic where I play receptionist lately so I'm the public face of the company everyday.  However, our clients tend to be pretty low key.  and.....I put in even less effort today. hahaha. there will be no pic as evidence today.
    • Jamie68
      Well Audrey, I kind of fit the profile. I typically don't get to do anything for myself. I did go to the gym with my grandson yesterday. Since I retired, I've had nonstop construction projects on the house. Getting real tired of that. The first year I tore down a porch and built a new one. Did all but block foundation myself. The next year I tore the rafters and siding off my garage and built a second floor on it. This year I tore down my other porch and built a new bedroom in it's place. I did all the work myself, including concrete and block work. I have to relocate toilet and bathtub in main bathroom yet. Tear out all the lath and plaster and put in drywall in a bedroom yet because 15 year granddaughter destroyed it. My wife wants me to do a second floor addition next year. Something is going to have to give. I don't have the energy anymore and savings is going fast. I kind of feel like a slave at times. I guess I'm just going to have to woman up and make some changes.   Kymmie, I agree about USPS. They do the stupidest things. And I guess no one is immune to family problems. It really sucks at times. Hope it gets better for you.   Thanks all for your support.  Jamie
    • Shay
      Really unappreciated GREAT band
    • Jandi
      They didn't specify which Denver?  LOL Hold on, it'll get there.
    • KymmieL
      Well just checked and yes they put it on a dead horse. Idiots at the USPS. They sent it through Denver. Due Friday. sent Monday. 5 days to go 45 miles. So from Cheyenne to Denver back to Cheyenne then to Laramie.   Wouldn't be surprised to check tomorrow and it is in Tulsa or still in Denver, NC.   Kymmie
    • Shay
    • Cyndee
      Nice song @Shay - lovely bass tone
    • Mx.Drago
      @Ellie Jean Right! Didn't wanna say more cuz I felt I pointed out my major nitpick and didn't wanna be excessive...been working on it. But then again, her having to read through all that content to make almost 90mins break down overview context edutainment vid, I can only imagine.   @Jandi I understood the warning and to me she honestly managed very well despite the touchiness of the subject. I only had 2 nitpicks, and the only one that got me the most was the one she reflected on while doing it. I never saw her other videos, and there be a thin line between comedy and concerning. Everybody got issues, but guess she drank too much to realize it didn't help her edutainment lesson. Don't drink and make video editing decisions, and also don't reference your own older videos poor choices when you already have doubts bout the acts necessity. She could have just sat there talking with the mannequin instead cuz the real person isn't there and that's the closest in my mind making that part work and probably would have been fun....Por Que?
    • Shay
      Good Song Cyndee - Listening to Rod Seagram interview Bill Payne at the time of The Last Record Album - I'm doubling back to my Little Feat - although after Lowell and Craig Fuller - loved the feel of this song - a Little Feat meets The Band and Lousiana Cajin ..............    
    • KymmieL
      I still have to learn this. Because most of the time i don't give 2 shites about myself.   Oh, yeah. My wife is a real gem. So get home from work last night. everything is normal, after her bath. She sits on the couch nodding off. like I said normal. after 11 my youngest comes home. He has this I had a bad day look. him: "Mom, didn't tell you?" me: Tell me what?"   So he proceeds to tell me on his way to work. probably not ten minutes after he left the store for a visit. Some lady pulls out in front of him. he winds up t-boning her. Luckily he had slammed on the brakes and the airbag didn't pop. He was shaken up. The truck is still drive-able. or should I say mine and my wife's truck. He is buying it from us. He has made 2 payments to my wife. I let that slide because she payed for it. She didn't have the courtesy to tell me our son was in an accident.   I didn't mention this in my post about what happened Sunday. They had used my laptop and had gone into my gmail account to get some paperwork. My gmail account is where I have all my job search and TG info going. I can't password protect this as my wife uses it for her Monday zoom meetings. OH, Well.   Still no E. I am going to check the VA web site and see if I can track it.   Kymmie
    • Cyndee
      just one of the grooviest from Steely Dan , lovely bass chords to open this one up, oh so '73 it's deep...   "Hello one and all Was it you I used to know Can't you hear me call On this old ham radio"      
    • KymmieL
      Shay, well said. I just have to do it, myself.   Kymmie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...