Challenging coming out experience

[Audrey]

Hi everyone, I'm feeling a little emotional after coming out to a longtime friend earlier today. This was the first time I had a coming out experience that didn't go as I'd hoped since I've been extremely cautious about who I've shared with so far. I thought I had a good sense of her and was quite sure she would be supportive, but her disbelief and judgment were quite hurtful. It was very upsetting to keep hearing comments like....  if you were really trans, why didn't you come out a long time ago? And, you've been fine for this long, why now? I tried to share about how I've been thinking about my gender identity for a long time, struggled a lot with anxiety and depression because of it, and only more recently started to live honestly with myself. But she kept acting like it was an impulsive decision I was making.

I'm not sure she'll keep my trust, which is why I'm freaking out a bit. I imagine this won't be the first time this happens with coming out. I'm feeling the pressure to come out to more people though, because it won't be too many more months before my physical changes become more obvious and less subtle. I'm trying to head off the inevitable awkward questions.

Thanks in advance for your support.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Mmindy]

@AudreyI'm sorry you had a negative response from your friend. My wife reacted the same way and oddly enough is supportive of young people who come out and transition, but waiting until you're 64 has no validity and I just can't be transgender.  She's easing her position on my transition now that we're openly talking about it. He accused me of dragging her into the closet with me, rather than me coming out to her. Those were the early hateful mad days. She much more open now that we're talking about our true feelings. As for my friends and business partner? Most will drop me like a bad habit. Only the ones who are already out among the LGBTQ community will stick around. My sister just under me will for sure cut me out of her life, because she did it to her own daughter when she came out. My two brothers, and baby sister I believe have open minds.  Someone on the Forums made this statement and I like the mindset. "Don't think of it as coming out, but letting people into your life."-Unknown

 

Best wishes as you come out to more people.

 

Mindy???

[Audrey]

1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

Someone on the Forums made this statement and I like the mindset. "Don't think of it as coming out, but letting people into your life."-Unknown

 

Thanks @Mmindy, I like that quote as well. It is very much about letting people in to a part of myself I've kept hidden for a long time. It is frustrating that age seems to be a measure of how "true" or "real" someone coming out and transitioning is. My feeling is, it's never too late to live authentically. I'm happy to hear your wife has become more supportive over time, and I'm hopeful that my friend will be the same way... it's just hard because I was so certain she would be supportive, and I'm being hard on myself for getting that wrong.

Also, do take care as well as you recover from COVID-19. Sending well wishes your way!

 

Love,

~Audrey.